Far Cry 5 - Blog Posts

"We have come here to kick ass and chew mountain oysters... and we're all out of oysters"

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

I love all y'all on here fr!

Although this is for Jaci, this is also me saying Happy Valentine's Day to everyone in the fc5 Fandom that is still hanging around, creating and interacting. God bless all of y'all, I was going to make a Sharky Boshaw card, but I didn't have time. Again, I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day. 💐❤️💝💗

Special shout out to my pals that talk jaci and fc5 literally every day: @pande-monty-um @peggiepratt @blindedlamb @trashboyo3891 @somepersonyan

Deputy J. SEED

Finally got the correct nametag for our deputy Seed!!

Next Batman?

Here is some Staci Pattinson for your timeline:

"What did I do to deserve this bastard as a partner?"

POV: you just got stepped on, dirty sinner

What is that bug under his feet?

What you lookin' at?

It seems he is allergic to horny sinners.

He who looks upon the sun becomes blind

Hello there, Deputies

Ok, now change!

Bonus:

They are so tired of each other's bullshit, look at them

It just occurred to me that these three are the same person:

Turns your weakness into strength

Makes you suffer

Will hunt you and your family for sport (sorry, Chloe)

P.S. Each time I want to skip my workout or duo lesson, I remember this post and end up sticking to the schedule.

Good Cop, Bad Cop, Ugly Cop?

@gunpowdernlead said "he actually looks like a cop now" to this haircut. Thus, here is some brutal-manly-man-cop-police-officer Staci Bratt for you people:

And here is a less brutal-manly-man-cop-police-officer Staci Bratt

To Leave This Purgatory, You Must

1. speak no evil

Jacob goes to hell and is brought back (Anastasized) by an Angel called Stas.

Deputy Seed in Action!

Turns out, it was not Deputy Rook who saved Staci; it was his fellow partner, Deputy Seed.

According to the report, Seed saved Staci from captivity, and they spent days hiding from the enemy in the forest. It is unknown what happened during that time.

It is also unknown why Deputy Seed didn't help his fellow officer remove the duct tape all this time.

We asked Deputy Pratt to share his side of the story. His comments follow below:

"Nnngh, mmm mmmph mmph mm-mm!"

We have yet to find out what exactly the deputy meant by that.

Why is he seed-eyeing us?

Wait, why do we hear Only You by The Platters playing?

"Each day, you must choose the pain of discipline or the pain of regret" - Jacob Pratt

You are what you eat

Jacob really said

Staci:

Important Question

Ok, guys, let's settle this down. Which Seed brother's beard looks best on Staci?

John's

Jacob's

Joseph's

Jacob's in original color (CUZ WHY NOT?)

Next John Wick?

Yes, I did steal the beard from John. Yes, I did color it black.

Roses are red, the reaping is due

I'll be outside, waiting for you.

Don't Smoke, Kids

On the left, you see a healthy individual who doesn't smoke. On the right, we have a person who smokes 5 packs a day.

Remember, kids, smoking leads to hair loss!!!!

P.S. LOOK. AT. HIM.

Be Not Afraid

After successfully terrorizing you with beardless Hakob (who doesn't exist), I am back with more ungodly deeds.

I present to you a beardless Bratt.

tbh, I personally dig it.

Staci Bratt & Co.

With great pleasure, I present to you the collection of my Far Cry 5 mods, dedicated to the best boi Staci Bratt.

The mods include

Charlie Hunnam loading screen replacer

"Have You Seen Him" arcade poster replacer

Seeds' outfits for Staci (Brother Staci, Strong Staci, Daddy Staci)

Braid for adding +1000 to Staci's attractiveness

Staci's outfit for Weak Jacob

It is recommended that Strong Staci and Weak Jacob be used together for the ultimate toxic-ship experience.

Have You?

Still in Gardenview Orchards

Today, we are having Adam-appreciation day.

Steve totally shares our excitement.

Staci Silver and Jacob Flint

What do you mean Jacob and Staci are not a canon ship?

I have seen them (a little hot shit in his 20s and a grumpy ginger man in his 40s) in a ship, on a ship, sailing the said ship for 2 seasons straight and 2 seasons gay.

They are very much cannon.

ba dum tss

Adam and Steve

And Steve did hunger for the fruit of the earth, and Adam led him unto Gardenview Orchards. But lo, it is said that the Father, in His wrath, cast them forth from the Gates of Eden, and they dwelt there no more.

Welcome Back Ethan Pratt

Stacy, sometimes spelled Stacey, Staci, Stacie, or Stacii, is a common first name for women and men. Baby-naming guides cite two English derivations of Greek origins: Anastasia, meaning "resurrection", for girls, and Eustace (Eustathios), meaning "steadfast", for boys.

Eustace, also rendered Eustis, is the rendition in English of two phonetically similar Greek given names: - Εὔσταχυς (Eústachys) meaning "fruitful"

- Εὐστάθιος (Eustáthios) meaning "stable"

The originally Hebrew name Ethan or Eitan can also mean "steadfast" or "stable".

This brings us to the conclusion that

Staci Pratt was resurrected (Anastasized) in New Dawn as Ethan Seed.

Welcome back, our unstable fruity boi <3

Deputy Stacy Pratt

One of your fellow Hope County Deputies who's a good cop when his ego doesn't get in the way.

I can't believe this description is official. It hurts :/

The Beauty and The Beast

I honestly don't know who gave Stacy the right to be this pretty. I am pratty sure this level of handsomeness should be illegal. Jacob probably agrees with me. Anyway, I hope all of you find someone who looks at you like Jacob looks at Stacy. Or someone who looks at you like Stacy looks at Jacob.

He's Beauty, He's Grace, He'll Punch You in the Face

Once upon a time, Jacob decided to make an honest man out of Deputy Bratt, and thus, the world was blessed with Stacy Seed.

In this AU, Jacob and Stacy managed to find shelter in John's bunker during The Collapse. Stacy misses Hudson and Wheaty a lot, so he honors their legacy by braiding his hair and wearing Wheaty's jewelry.

"Surprisingly," John's bunker didn't offer any normal clothes but instead had 1001 variations of his regular outfit. Stacy is not picky, and even tho green suits him better, he can also work with blue.

Now, what about Jacob's questionable accessory choices? Welp, the glasses are the only thing he has left of Joseph, so, even if they look off, he still wears them.

Or, he hopes that wearing them will prevent this siren from casting his spell and devouring his heart.

That is a stupid idea, Jacob; there is no way you can win this one fight.

Continue with Jacob's suffering here.

Joseph-Sense (?!)

Getting bitten by a spider gives you superpowers.

Getting bitten by a Joseph Seed, on the other hand...

makes you preach some nonsense?

Don't ask me about Jacob's accessory choices, pls.

Ok, this is peak Jaci for me

A team of wild judges couldn't tear them apart