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Garrison Is Unusually Chill Here But Anyways - Blog Posts

1 year ago

(the fourth grade class is surrounded around a broken coffee machine.)

mr. garrison: so… who broke it? i’m not mad. i just want to know.

butters: i did. i broke-

mr. garrison: no, no you didn’t. eric?

cartman: don’t look at me! look at kyle.

kyle: what? i didn’t break it.

cartman: that’s weird. how’d you even know it was broken?

kyle: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.

cartman: …suspicious.

stan: if it matters - probably not… but bebe was the last one to use it.

bebe: liar!! i don't even drink that crap!

stan: oh, really? then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

bebe: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles! everyone knows that, stan!

butters: ok, ok, let’s not fight! i broke it, let me pay for it, mr. garrison!

mr. garrison: NO! WHO BROKE IT?!!

cartman: …mr. garrison... kenny's been awfully quiet.

kenny: (REALLY?)

cartman: yeah, really!!

kenny: (OH MY GOD!) [argument ensues]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

mr. garrison: i broke it. it burned my hand, so i punched it. i predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

good. it was getting a little chummy around here.


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