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Mr. Garrison - Blog Posts

1 year ago

(the fourth grade class is surrounded around a broken coffee machine.)

mr. garrison: so… who broke it? i’m not mad. i just want to know.

butters: i did. i broke-

mr. garrison: no, no you didn’t. eric?

cartman: don’t look at me! look at kyle.

kyle: what? i didn’t break it.

cartman: that’s weird. how’d you even know it was broken?

kyle: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.

cartman: …suspicious.

stan: if it matters - probably not… but bebe was the last one to use it.

bebe: liar!! i don't even drink that crap!

stan: oh, really? then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

bebe: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles! everyone knows that, stan!

butters: ok, ok, let’s not fight! i broke it, let me pay for it, mr. garrison!

mr. garrison: NO! WHO BROKE IT?!!

cartman: …mr. garrison... kenny's been awfully quiet.

kenny: (REALLY?)

cartman: yeah, really!!

kenny: (OH MY GOD!) [argument ensues]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

mr. garrison: i broke it. it burned my hand, so i punched it. i predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

good. it was getting a little chummy around here.


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1 year ago

I'm watching south park s20 rn and apart from the whole season being shit, it also had one of the biggest missed opportunities. since mr. grarrison is slowly transforming into trump, they should've given him a joker-type story (like the one where he falls in a tub of acid). except of being acid, it's mcdonalds grease (double pun bc it's american and called mcdonald). the boiling grease fries his hair and cooks his skin, giving him the iconic look.

am I insane or is this not a banger? maybe a little bit too cartoonish


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