Geto Angst - Blog Posts

Not gonna lie I would have slap the shit out of nanami cause how are you going to embarrass me in front of them people (ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง

Who is she? PT 3

You can't take it anymore.

ft. Satoru, Suguru, Choso, Nanami, Sukuna, Toji

CW: Angst, men being men, arguments. 🙄

A/N: Hi besties! Hope you enjoy part 3, more to come! Also I'm sorry if someone had already requested to be tagged when I posted this. Unfortunately I won't be taking any more additions to the taglist as it takes a lot of my time to go searching around for people. I'll be keeping the ones already tagged of course! If you had requested before and I skipped you just shoot me a message and I'll add you.

Edit to add another funny ask about this 😂

PT. 2

Tag list:

@v1x3n @haruchiyoreen @riameriash @kitises @collectionofdolls @redmushr0om @satorushousewife @linaaeatsfamilies @soobsdior @sa4vvyyt @heh123321 @iluv-ace @erishishigami @pimento-mori @aphroditesworld15 @lov3vivian @entr4p3 @exquisitenesss @linaaeatsfamilies @ilovegetosuguru @trsh-kitty @yunho-leeknow @peachesvault @herefor-tojis-tits @piggaloaf @boyimjustaloserforyourlove @hoshies1 @maybe-a-bi-witch @dreamingoftomorroww @sleepyoriana @moncher-ire @kuroosluthoe @serendididy @garejuremuzum @tojisrealwifey @prettysleppy325 @d1gital-data @luvsymai @yourname-exee @satorusprites @agustdeeyaa @pandabiene5115 @justbelljust @miscellaneous-misty @sweetlyvibe @namjooningera @sh0ot1ngst4r @hvnnibvni @dazaisfavgf @your-favorite-god @jkrafe @ietss @justonemoresworld @kisswoshita @rawwrrgal @castiel2dope @chckn-pi @rax-writes @astragat @chckn-pi @haloyesme @aneternallyexhaustedpigeon @sataurnv3 @jasminelee324

jobless monday

in which: breakup

cw: semi toxic geto, semi toxic reader on shoko

main masterlist

i wrote shokos weeks ago and just weote getos theyre lowkey kinda similar….. geto pmoed

getos is so bad gah

now that im re reading shokos also bad…. i dont wanna read megumjs

youre joking, right?

in which: you prank them for april fools… hehe

with: toji, shoko, megumi, geto, gojo, yuuji

main masterlist

freaky!yn headcanons

pairing: geto x fem reader

cw: yandereish behavior, emotionally dependent yn, yn is FREAKY! this is not normal behavior

main masterlist

freaky!yn who has never had a stable or healthy relationship, so when she becomes attached to someone like geto, it quickly turns into an unhealthy obsession.

freaky!yn who becomes fixated on him to the point where it clouds her judgment, and she believes that she cannot live without him, even though she has never fully acknowledged how toxic the dynamic is.

freaky!yn who cant stand the idea of geto interacting with anyone else.

freaky!yn who would go to great lengths to sabotage those interactions, whether it is passive aggressively pulling him away or confronting the other party.

freaky!yn who when geto pulls away, often, it leaves her confused and desperate to do anything to get him back.

freaky!yn who craves constant validation from geto, whether it is compliments, physical affection, or simple attention. she thrives off his occasional words of affection, and she uses them as fuel to keep going, even when he withdraws.

freaky!yn who without that validation, she spirals into insecurity and doubts her worth.

freaky!yn who constantly tries to do things to prove herself to him, feeling like she needs to work harder to earn his attention and affection.

freaky!yn whos inexperience makes her vulnerable to manipulation, as she thinks anything he does to her (good or bad) is love or attention.

freaky!yn who doesnt know how relationships should work, and she gets overly excited about every little thing geto does.

freaky!yn who lacks the social skills to know how to properly express affection. often physically clingy.

freaky!yn who will constantly touch geto, trying to initiate affection or just hoping to feel close to him.

freaky!yn who doesnt know how to balance her needs, her actions will come off as desperate at times.

freaky!yn who will go out of her way to make geto happy. if geto were to want something, whether it her time, attention, or even something more physical (never), she would give it to him without hesitation

freaky!yn who has no sense of personal boundaries, as shes learned to put others needs before her own. yn believes that if she gives enough of herself, she will earn his love.

freaky!yn who if she feels like she has failed him in anyway, she will beat herself up over it, thinking its her fault and that she needs to change herself to please him.

freaky!yn who believes she is not good enough for geto and that she will lose him if she doesnt keep trying.

i feel sad

this.. isnt mdni right…

it hypocritical for me to make mdni

i think. its suggestive angst

MASQUERADE 2: Games

Pairing: Geto x Reader

Masquerade | Masquerade 2 | +

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, royal au, forced marriage, cheating, drama, emotional turmoil, power imbalance, manipulation, smut (just a bit)

word count: 5.8k

He can’t even pick a few withering flowers for you.

“The marriage is well. We’ve known each other since we were kids. We’re getting used to everything easily.” You smiled, looking in his eyes as he gazed lovingly at you. You enjoy these little moments with him whenever you go for a walk together. The kingdom's people approach the two of you, asking numerous questions and showering your marriage with compliments that are far from its reality. 

“I can already envision how beautiful the future princes and princesses would be.” An old lady smiled, crinkling the corners of her eyes as Suguru took her hand, giving her support as she bowed to you. Your smile almost faltered, knowing it’d probably never happen. At least, not between the two of you. But surprisingly, he answered for you.

“Let’s hope the kingdom won’t chain us to our thrones too much so that the little ones can come sooner.” The people around you erupted in laughter, unaware that he meant the opposite of his jokes. His hand made its way to your lower back, stepping closer as the royal guards arrived from patrol, smiling, and some blushing at your random public appearance.

“Your Majesty." They bowed to you before turning to Suguru and bowing again, "Your Royal Highness.” Taking a step back, you acknowledged them with a smile. “We can create space for you by the lakes.” One of the guards offered, and your eyes lit up. It’s been a while since you and Suguru spent time together there. Your stared up at him with eagerness, but he was already declining the suggestion, “I’m afraid that we have some things to attend to. We cannot—” Hurt by the blatant rejection, you cut him off.

“I don’t. I would like to spend some time by the lakes today. The weather is nice.” You did your best to hide the dejected look on your face but as his eyes scanned your features, it felt like he was reading you like a book. “Your Majesty, should it please you, I shall accompany you to the lakes and stand guard to ensure your safety.” A blonde guard offered with a smile and a bow to the Prince.

You were about to answer, delighted as you tried to step away from the Prince, but his hand was quick to wrap around your waist. “It’d be a shame not to indulge in such a moment with my Queen. The duties can wait, I suppose.” You can feel his chest against your back as the guard salutes, mounting his horse and waiting for your carriage. You looked at Suguru, but his eyes avoided yours.

“You’re so cautious about how the public will perceive us but would willingly go with a knight to the lakes?” He scoffed once you’re inside the carriage. His tongue poked his cheek as he looked out the window. “I didn’t want to disrupt your priorities.” You know that he’s just going to go back to working on that damn locket for his princess.

“What’s keeping you busy?” You held your skirt as you stepped down the stairs of his workshop. He was shirtless, hair gathered haphazardly with a tie, and looking like this is the first thing he did as soon as he woke up. A pair of soft pants hanging low on his waist. “A gift.” His eyes didn’t even meet yours. You would’ve felt giddy, but you know too well that this one isn’t for you. You stepped closer to him, walking behind him to peek at his shoulder.

It’s a wooden locket. Your eyes glanced at the chain at the side of his crafting table. He was skillfully carving at the surface of the object. You can tell how focused he is from how his brows furrowed, further sharpening his beautiful features. You already know that you don’t want to see what’s inside. 

A letter S and A were creatively entwined, along with some small patterns he carved around. They were small but inside that room, to him, it’s so much bigger than the Queen watching. There were no signs of discomfort in his stance. He was unapologetically etching their initials with his bare hands. It’s sad that you probably will never experience this from him. 

He can’t even pick a few withering flowers for you. 

You rested your chin on your knuckles, gazing at the field of flowers as they sway with the wind. You wished that your life could be as easy as theirs. Three days ago, you had a meeting with the court, discussing the needs of the Kingdom. You were expected to refuse, the members ushering you to focus on building your marriage as it was still young. Yet, knowing of the people's hardships was too heavy on your heart. 

The matter of importing goods from another Kingdom requires attention. Just as much as your wobbling relationship with Suguru. But you can’t stand the fact that other people have been struggling because there’s a shortage of supplies, specifically medicine. “I’ll handle it first, lives may be on the line.” You decided, dropping the idea of pursuing Suguru to stay in your holiday estate near the outskirts and far from the villages.

Suguru knows of it, and although he wouldn’t want to come anyway, he still admires you for putting the mass over your personal goals. It wouldn’t change anything, but he feels bad that you try too hard. In times like this, Suguru’s reminded that you’re still the young, compassionate princess who plays tag even with commoners and bastards of maids. 

—----------------------------

Months have passed, and it seems like no progress will ever be made in your relationship. There are days when you barely see each other due to your responsibilities. He can tell that you want to move on your own and try to be as close as possible to him, but the kingdom is your weakness. If there’s anyone who holds your heart other than Suguru, it would be the citizens. And for that, he can’t help but feel proud of you.

Suguru continued his rendezvous with the Princess, their once budding relationship has now bloomed into a young flower and his heart has never felt more full. 

“I’ll be on my way now,” You barely nodded as he turned around, looking at the floor as he started to walk out of your room. How come he’s only now realized that you stopped making excuses just to delay and maybe even stop his secret trysts with Princess Aika? Not that he minds. If anything, it favors them. 

Their meeting place at the southern district is not a short and easy trip at all. It's a secluded meadow in the woods where her family's rest house was located. It can be quite dangerous at night, but for her, Suguru can't imagine any danger he couldn't face and fend off. For her…

“You're here,” Her soft voice called out to him, stepping out of the house in her cloak and lamp. He jumped from his horse, running to her to envelop her in his strong arms. Kissing her, she places a hand on his chest. His fingers pushed the locks of her auburn hair away from her beautiful face. “Of course, I am. Why wouldn't I be, my Princess?” His words brought redness on her smooth cheeks.

“I just thought …you might've changed your mind.” She murmured, guiding him inside the house. “It's not too late, you can still correct this. We can still —” She took off her cloak, as she walked to the small kitchen, but he pulled her to him before she could even finish her sentence, “I am certain of this. I know what I'm doing.” He breathed on her mouth, pecking her lips. 

“Besides, the Queen knows.” He spoke as she pulled away from him, “She knows, but she doesn't like it. No woman would want their husband seeing someone else. I, myself, wouldn't want it.” She walked to him, she cupped his cheeks. “I don't want you committing sins like this just because of me. We don't have to be sinners just to feel in love.” Her eyes watered, “Betrayal of her equates betrayal to the Crown.” He placed her hands on her waist.

“But loyalty to you means loyalty to my heart. Isn't the heart the most important?” He quoted a line she once said. With that, they kiss and let the winds of the night blow them wherever they want; under the covers, beside each other, as they relish in the warmth of their tired bodies. With hands over his forehead, he wondered:

What could you be doing this late in the night? The maids said you've been sleeping late. He never knows because he never slept beside you. He looks down at Aika, fingers brushing over the skin of her face. He wondered what you looked like, sleeping under the soft light of the candles. 

He closed his eyes, sighing. He just can’t stop thinking about what Aika said earlier. He's still trying to figure out what to do with your marriage because he can't stand things being like this anymore. He doesn't want Aika to feel like she's a crime that is meant to be hidden. She doesn't want her to feel like a ‘sin.’ They're not sinners. They're victims of the crown. Kissing her face, he pulled her naked body close to him.

Suguru doesn't want to hurt you. But that doesn't mean that he can love you, either. 

—----------------------------

“They must continue training, your Majesty. We never know what might come for us.” Grand Officer Nanami spoke as he walked beside you as you watched the young ones train. They reminded you of Suguru, how you’d watch them from the balcony. He would look up and smile shyly at you, but not once messing up their routine. He was dedicated even as a trainee. As young children, you two became inseparable since the day he asked you to play, disregarding your status as a Princess Royal. It didn’t offend you at all. If anything, it only made you feel…normal.

“I know. But that’s all they ever do. Some of them are still kids, let them have their childhood.” You sighed, clasping your hands in front of you. You know Kento’s just thinking of a way to reject your idea politely. You could almost hear him sigh in relief when your husband interjected, suddenly appearing behind the two of you.

“Commander,” Kento saluted before giving space to allow Suguru to walk beside you. His eyes met yours just for a brief moment, and you could almost imagine how they softened for you. You look down, pretending to move your dress out of the way, before it even vanishes, and get replaced by the usual empty stare he gives you. You’re slowly getting used to the nights where he would leave, even when you’re not even in bed yet.

But that doesn’t mean that you’re giving up this relationship with him. No matter how hard it gets for you. 

“I was suggesting the pages could have a bit lighter training schedule than the others.” You shared with him, respecting the fact that he’s still a Commander even if he was already crowned as the Prince Consort. “They’re still young. I don’t want them burning themselves out without enjoying childhood.” You can feel the Prince’s eyes on you, but you dare not look up, afraid that you’ll only be met by a stoic, pretentious gaze.

“I understand, but I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do, this is for discipline.” His voice was softer than you expected it to be. Until Kento started speaking, and you were reminded of the fact that he’s only doing this because you’re in front of people. Kento isn’t unaware of Prince Suguru’s real relationship with you, but the walls have ears and in this training grounds, there are people who are not residents of the palace. 

He simply cannot take that risk if he doesn’t want his beloved Princess to be in danger.

“I was thinking of recommending an extended break period for the kids, Commander.” Kento smiled at you, hoping that you would like the idea. Suguru’s eyes flickered between the both of you, nodding as he pursed his lips for a split second. You can hear him sigh as clicked his tongue, appearing to be thinking of the idea. “I guess we can do that. A little more time for games wouldn’t hurt. As long as they proceed with training right after.” He placed his hand on the small of your back, making you tense up.

A dead giveaway of how foreign yet craved his touch was to you. Your response was just as painful as having to look away whenever he’d arrange flowers for his little love. 

Despite the cruel thoughts in your head, your eyes sparkled with joy, “And perhaps the maids could lend them some boards and toys to play with when they serve the snacks? What do you think? I’ll make sure they collect all of it on time, so none will go unruly.” Suguru's eyes briefly fixed on your lips as he listened, not missing the genuine excitement in your voice. Your compassion with the people is unrivaled yet Suguru can’t help but wish you were this compassionate towards him and Aika too. 

Looking away, the thought of your father’s wishes lingered in his mind. With how considerate you are of people, he can’t help but think of how much these wishes influenced you into forcing a marriage with him. Still, he thinks that you’re a human with your own mind to decide. So he can't find it in him to clear you of the blame for being the reason his Princess has to feel like she was a sin; to be hidden in the middle of the trees where no ball gowns shall flow. 

Her misfortune was a product of your selfishness and no matter how Suguru looks at it, he can’t bring himself to forgive you.

“I can arrange that, your Majesty. I would like to ask for permission to hold a meeting with the maids in charge and the instructors as well.” His thoughts were snapped by the blonde man, obviously swooning at how your face lit up at his statement. You were beaming at Kento, a winning gleam in your eye, as if you were the child benefitting from the plans. Suguru can tell that his fellow knight was amused—or rather captivated— by your reaction, too. Kento took half a step back when their eyes met.

Walking back to your chambers, Suguru was close behind you. You kept quiet, expecting him to walk past you to his own but was surprised when he stayed. You eyed him, cautiously sitting on the bed as he welcomed himself in. He stood by the window, looking outside as if in deep thought. You swallowed thickly, fidgeting with your dress with a deep sigh in an attempt to catch his attention. It was proven effective when he turned to look at you. 

Even in his silhouette, you found love. It’s just…not yours to keep.

“I, uh,” You cleared your throat and licked your lips, "I need to change clothes.” You found it hard to maintain eye contact with him as you leaned on one of the poles of your bed. There was a soft silence after your question, and his eyes were wandering the floors as he was deep in thought. You wanted to repeat yourself and clarify the statement that you’d like one of your ladies-in-waiting to help, but he was already walking towards you.

“Go on,” Your eyes widened as you stared up at him, biting the inside of your cheek that was starting to heat up at his request. What is he thinking?, you thought. You boldly remained quiet, waiting for him to explain his intentions, but it was almost as if he was playing the staring contest with you. His sharp eyes were clearly focused on you even as the light of the skies started to dim and the lights of your candle bathed the room.

“Do you want me to take the dress off too?” There was no glint of mischief in his eyes, no traces of mockery that tell you how dead-serious he was of the situation. But then again, this is Suguru you’re talking about and from all the years you spent together, you already know how hard to read his expressions are. His eyes can either make him look super upset or super amused, even his smile was hard to read, and right now, you don’t know if he just wanted to be helpful or if he was testing you. 

None of the two was proven when he grabbed your arm and spun you around, making you yelp in surprise. The cold tips of his fingers sent shivers down your spine as you felt them graze the skin of your nape, pushing away the stray hairs as he pulled down the back zipper of your dress. “Suguru…” You spoke—or more like breathed—as you felt the pressure on your tailbone, his chest almost pressed against your back, and you could feel his breath on the shell of your ear.

“What? Are you not comfortable with your husband helping you?” He asked. You didn’t miss the slight hint of amusement in his question, but you quickly shake your head, as you tried to gain your composure. As much as possible, you don’t want to seem too hopelessly in love with him for the sake of your position and pride. You want him to know that you love him enough to work hard for this relationship to work, but you don’t want to make it seem like you’ll make a fool of yourself to get his attention. 

Because even if you do, if Aika is in the same room, you know damn well that he wouldn’t even spare a glance at you. 

“Of course not. I simply didn’t want to feel like a bother to you, you seemed to be enjoying the view outside.” You blinked, raising your brows as you turned to him, pushing the dress down to your waist. Your pushed-up breasts were exposed to him, the soft flesh bouncing with your every move, and you gathered all the courage just to watch his eyes shamelessly focus on them. The contours of his face were made sharper by the cast illumination of the candles, and you had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from begging for even just a peck on your lips.

He’s immaculate and if only you could let him know how you’d die to have his love even just for a day, you would. But that’d be dragging your face through the mud. You’re already humiliating yourself enough; forcing yourself on him every day, and when you arranged this marriage. You would have to get cockeyed drunk first before you get on your knees, just for him to touch you like your body’s a fountain of youth.

“Turn around,” He rasped when the cloth fell around your ankles and onto the floor, brows slightly furrowed and jaws clenching now and then. Your eyes were locked on his as he stepped closer to you, as if his previous stance wasn’t dangerous enough. You obliged, turning around as you heard his heavy yet stable breaths in the quiet room. You can almost feel them on your shoulders, making you shudder.

“Do you always wear these things?” The vibration of his deep voice makes you feel like melting into a puddle, just so he can gather you into his arms and pick you up. You shook your head, making sure your voice was steady before answering. “Not really, only when I need to meet a lot of people. Or when I prefer.” You heard him hum, making you slightly turn your head to the side as if you could see how he undoes the undergarment. The feeling of the corset loosening around your waist made you feel like you could easily float on air. Moaning a sigh, you hear Suguru’s breaths pause as he stiffens behind you. 

“Thank you,” You murmured, clutching the garment on your chest as you turned to look up at him, waiting for him to turn around and leave. And although he did turn around, he didn’t leave the room. Instead, he sat down on the foot of your bed, relaxed as he leaned back on his arms. His eyes looked up at you before flickering to your hands, as if expecting you to do something…and he really is expecting. “What?” He raised his brows, lips remaining emotionless.

“You said you’d be changing your clothes.” You didn’t try to hide your perplexity as you stood in front of him. “Yes…” Your mouth didn’t stutter, but your nod definitely did, and you don’t know if you should be embarrassed or act mad right now that he’s being confusing. “I’ll be heading to the changing room,” You were about to excuse yourself to head to the connected room but were once again interrupted by your husband.

“Isn’t that the dress you prepared for dinner?” He gestured to the corner of the room. You recalled how you always had your ladies ready the clothes you chose for the day—a habit from childhood, as you liked to see how they looked on a dummy before deciding. You had never minded this practice until now. Feeling increasingly impatient, you asked Suguru, “Aren’t you going to leave?”

He beckoned you with a nod of his head, a subtle menacing grin was plastered on his lips. “Married couples get naked around each other.” He whispered as you took a step between his legs. It didn’t scare you. In fact, it excited you. After many months of being married, only now has he acknowledged to you that you are married. Feeling his hands on your corset, you let go of it, letting him take off the material and leave you bare in front of him. Your hands reached up to your chest, but his gaze held it off.

His dark eyes looked up at you as if asking for permission. You can feel his hot breath caress the skin of your exposed breasts. You sighed, mouth slightly ajar, making no move to stop him. His mouth went close to your bud, tracing it with his lips with his eyes fluttering close, before cradling it in his mouth. 

Your breathy moans made him put his hand on your waist, snaking it around as he pulled your body closer to him. His mouth relished in the softness and sweetness of the flesh. His other hand was skillfully fondling the other one, kneading it gently as a soft grunt erupted from his throat, inhaling your scent. His tongue was hot on your pebbled flesh, eliciting a whimper from your lips.

“Suguru…” You whined, sighing into his touch and letting your hand caress his hair. You ran your fingers into their soft strands, pushing the shorter ones away from his face. You watched as he stared up at you, eyes glazed with lust and something else that you can’t quite put your finger on, but you know how his touch leaves tingles all over your body.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

With his movements coming to a stop, your breath also hitched, stuck in the back of your throat painfully. Opening your eyes, the growing irritation was prominent in your pupils. You were about to snap and curse at the person on the other side when a hurried voice caused a crease on your forehead. Little did you know that the brewing tender moment with Suguru was about to be trampled on mercilessly by the truth.

“Apologies for coming here for this, my Queen but…” The pause agitated you even further. If it was a message for you, why would they need to apologize? It’s not like they knew they were interrupting something, or do they? It didn’t matter to you. What you wanted was for the matters at hand to be dealt and done with. 

But of course, it wasn’t as simple as that. Why would life have something good in store for an evil queen like you?

“Princess Aika…” You dared not look down, when he tensed up, arms leaving your body as if a force pulled him away. “The Princess of the Southern District has collapsed.” And just like that, Suguru was on his feet, pushing you aside as he scrambled towards the door. His eyes were wide, full of panic and horror as ugly possibilities flashed inside his mind. The earlier intimacy between them seemed completely absent now.

You covered your chest with your hands as you turned around for the fabric on the floor, using it to shield yourself as he flung the door open, revealing his servant, who immediately turned around upon noticing your state. “Get my horse.” He commanded, and your heart shattered at how he asks no questions when it comes to her.

Your soul withered at each hurried step he took away from you, not bothering to look back as he went on to save the love of his life. How come he couldn’t even sit an hour with you when you had to stay in your room all day because you were sick? Yet, here he is, risking it all—his position, his honor, your marriage—for the one who truly owns every beat of his heart. You know that if you try to come and remind him of the people still lingering outside at this time of the night, it’d come off as jealousy, selfishness.

And maybe it was. But was it so wrong that the Queen wanted to save face? To conceal the fact that her husband can leave her naked and alone for another woman? You sighed away the pain, sitting on the edge of the bed, where he sat a few minutes ago, worshiping your body. It seems that was nothing but superficial to him. You know too well that none of those actions can prove someone’s love to another. It was solely physical. 

It could even be related to you needing an heir. It doesn’t have to be from the consort, no. But Suguru knows how much better things can look for him if the heir would be one of his own. Whatever his decision is, you know that Aika will be there to support him, just as how he supports her. 

You’re the only one facing battles alone in this circus of a marriage.

—----------------------------

“What’s going on?” Suguru rushed inside the Princess’ palace, worried as he reminded himself to apologize and formally greet the Duke of the Southern District later, but right now, there’s nothing more important than seeing Aika. Just the mere thought of her fainting from an illness was enough to cause panic in every fiber of his body, fear flowing through his every vein. He's aware of how he left and how he dropped you in the middle of all that, but Suguru has his priorities. 

Realizing what he was doing, it felt like a bucket of ice-cold guilt was dumped on his head, and now everyone can see how badly he was shivering. How can he let that happen when Aika was waiting for him? He remembered how she agreed to him having a child with the Queen for an heir, but he knows how badly it pains her. And just because she agreed, doesn’t mean he’ll just let it happen. He had already crushed her and her dreams for them when he couldn’t do anything about your marriage. He can’t forgive himself if he hurts her again by giving you an heir.

If the Crown must suffer from the complications, then he will let it suffer. 

No duty, no responsibility, no position can justify how he was hurting her from all of this. He promised Aika that one day he’ll figure out the way to their freedom. And although, she was reluctant about this, she was still hopeful. There was a part of her that wanted to talk to you, as a cousin, hoping to put an end to their miseries, even if it meant forfeiting her royal title and being exiled. But Suguru won’t let her sacrifice anymore.

They have already sacrificed enough because of your selfishness.

“Your Royal Highness,” The servant by the door bowed, worry etched across his face. “The Princess is currently being checked by her doctor.” He reported, voice laced with a tone that aims to comfort him and ease his obvious distress. Without waiting for another sentence, he knocked on the door thrice before proceeding to open it. This is his lady, there’s no amount of words that can take alleviate his worries for her. 

As he entered, two servants were tending to the Princess and helping the doctor. They all bowed, promptly pausing their chores as they bowed to him. As one of the servants move out of the way, Suguru can see how pale the Princess was. Her eyes were dull, unlike the last time he saw her. It was as if someone snatched the stars from them and replaced them with this void. 

“Aika,” He breathed, rushing next to her to hold her shaking and cold hands. She looked so fragile in her state, with only the blankets shielding her body. She looked like even the softest breeze can blow her away, and it scared—no, it terrified Suguru. He kneeled down next to her bed, looking at the doctor, who was sat on the other side. 

“What does she need? What can we do?” He didn’t ask first what was going on because all he wanted to do was to pull his Princess out of this misery. Just knowing that she’s suffering like this was enough, he’s ready to do whatever it takes. Seeing the stunned yet accusatory gaze of the doctor, Suguru could only assume that she has not been made aware of the relationship between them. He knows that he’s going to have to settle things with her later after this to make sure that nothing will get leaked to the public. Coming here in their palace at this early hour of the night was a risk already.

“It’s not some disease, Your Royal Highness.” She breathed out, looking down, but Suguru can notice how she nervously swallowed. What dangerous thing could it be that a doctor looked so hesitant to spill it out? “It’s a sceleris.” She looked up at him before her gaze flickered to his and Aika’s linked hands. “The Princess has been cursed.” Suguru throat went dry. It was as if she was telling him that there was nothing easy he could do to make the Princess feel better.

“How…how did you know that?” His brows furrowed, refusing to accept the dire situation he and his love has been put in. “An enchanter has been called and is currently communicating with the Duchess. I’m only here to help lessen the pain that the Princess has been feeling due to the effects, Sir.” With those words, Suguru placed kisses on the Princess’ forehead, ignoring how the doctor flinched and looked away. “I’ll be back, my love.” He whispered, hurrying.

Just as he was about to make a turn to where the Duchess and the enchanter were, he was shocked to see them on their way out of the long corridor. “Your Royal Highness,” They bowed upon seeing him. The Duchess’ face displays a look that didn’t help with Suguru’s trepidation. Something’s not right, he thought. Why does it seem like no one really wants him to know what’s going on yet forced to by his presence?

“Could you please enlighten me? Aika does not seem well.” He needed them to get straight to the point before he explodes. It’s only been a couple of minutes, yet he felt like they already wrapped him with a dark fabric to stop him from finding out. “An enchantress placed a sceleris—a curse on the Princess.” With the confirmation, Suguru can hear the beat of his heart quicken, “W-what could the reason be? Has she offended—” Without waiting for the Prince to finish, the enchanter answered, eyes staring deep into his.

“She knows of your bond and how it cuts the Queen deep. It has been placed as a revenge.” The Duchess began to wept, hands covering her face, and soon enough the Duke was by her side. “My dear, allow me to handle this.” He held her to him, giving a signal for the enchanter to make his exit. 

“Your Highness, as a father, I am determined to secure the life of my daughter, just as you, as her beloved, wish to protect her.” Suguru’s brows knitted together, disquieted at the Duke’s statement and where it might lead. He’s compelled to save the Princess’ life, no matter what it takes but for some reason, her father’s words cause unease in him. “With all due respect, my Prince, I must request you to refrain from having any relationship with my daughter from now on.”

Anything but that.

Suguru can feel the temperature in his body drop at the request, and he was immediately shaking his head. “No, you don’t understand us. We—Aika and I swore to never give up on each other, no matter how hard it gets for us.” He took a step back, firm on his decision to reject the Duke’s demand. “Especially, not at a time like this. Aika needs me—” The Duke interrupted him, looking down as if to show respect despite his insistence.

“The Queen—the Crown needs you, Prince Suguru.” He looked up at him, eyes filled with dread. “And this might just be her first warning to get you back inside the Central Palace.” Suguru was well aware of what he meant by that statement. The hole in his heart was starting to get deeper with every word that comes out of the Duke’s mouth. 

“Our daughter has no chance against the Queen. She has nothing to—” He tried to explain, but Suguru shook his head in disbelief, angered by how everyone seemed to be mere puppets in the palm of your hand: them, him and Aika. “No.” He was dead set on proving them wrong. He was hell-bent on proving you wrong.

“She has me.” Turning on his heel, he headed back to the Central Palace, not bothering to wait for his guards as his mind was filled with red, enraged at how you were manipulating this game. Ever since the beginning, you haven’t been playing fair. You’ve been looking down from the top of that tower with steel cards in your hand, slicing up everyone that gets in your way.

Suguru will prove to you that despite all your scheming, you haven’t won, and you never will.

PREVIOUS | NEXT

betrayal ft. jjk men

part 2!!

synopsis: after leaving you for another woman, they realize they made a mistake and want you back. little do they know, you moved on…with one of their friends/enemies (set a few months after your breakup)

cw: angst, no comfort, swearing, slut shaming, not proofread

a/n: alexa play karma by taylor swift…requests are open :P

part 1

tags: @mel1mak @elevh-blog @forfaehou @valvoria @dazaisfavgf @monokyubey @ironicsss @zeunys @higuchislut @inoluvrr @ayumigotabittoolonely @lady-of-blossoms @imoutofpot @enchantingkitty @virgothesimp @k1ranishf4 @riwliane @whoreforjjkmen @lorain07 @deaf-yuri-lover93 @rainschnael

betrayal ft. jjk men

with special guest…HIGURUMA

based on this ask

cw: ANGST, no comfort, swearing, slight slut shaming, not proofread

a/n: i'll probably do a part 2 where they regret their decision! requests are open : P

part 2

you’re being mean ft. jjk men

part 3 where you break things off with them

cw: angst, no comfort, reader standing on business, swearing, not proofread

a/n: this could be the last part could not be…i’m not sure yet so lmk if you want an additional part! i just wanted to say thank you for all the love shown to this series for far <3 requests are open :P

part 1 part 2

tags: @krispywhisperswhispers @aquamarine001 @american-girl001 @totallygyomeiswife @aikojwhpa

the apparition

synopsis: after suguru’s passing, his presence seemed to linger. you thought you were crazy for thinking he was still hanging around until he appeared in front of you.

cw: mentions of death, depression, su*cidal ideations, longing for death, spiraling of mental health, ANGST, not proofread

word count: 2.8k

a/n: please let me know if i left any warnings out and i will add them! this was inspired by the song above.

You were haunted.

Haunted by him…

It had been months since Suguru passed. Not a day had passed where you didn’t think about him. You wondered if there was anything you could have done to make him stay. You continuously racked your brain trying to find something, but you always came up empty handed. In reality, there was no way anyone could have saved him from the path he chose. 

You didn’t even know why you cared so much. You hadn’t talked in years after he broke your heart by defecting from jujutsu society. But, he was the love of your life after all…maybe that’s why you could never fully let him go. 

He had tried numerous times to reach out to you, but you always ignored him, knowing that no good could come from it. Yet, deep inside, you still longed to feel his touch just one more time. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Satoru asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Suguru…sometimes it feels like his presence still lingers…” you replied in a quiet voice.

“I know what you mean. Maybe he’s watching over us…whether that be a good or bad thing,” Gojo smirked softly to himself, wrapping his arm around your shoulders giving you a squeeze.

You both stood up and went your separate ways. There was still that feeling you couldn’t shake. It felt like something or someone was watching you…

That feeling remained as you tucked yourself into bed. Your eyes fluttered softly as you began to drift off to sleep.

“Y/N…” a familiar voice called out.

There’s no way…it couldn’t be. Your eyes shot open, looking around your room until your eyes fell on him.

“Suguru…” you muttered in disbelief.

“Long time no see, pretty girl,” he smiled, sitting down on the edge of your bed. 

Rather than feeling frightened, a strange warmth engulfed you as you stared at him. It was undoubted Suguru. His hair fell on his shoulders just as you had remember it. His soft gaze and warm smile unchanged. 

“How are you here? I don’t understand.”

He just chuckled softly like he always used to when you tell him a stupid joke. The chuckle you had been dying to hear since he left. You carefully crawled towards him still not understanding what was going on. You reached out to touch his face. He allowed his head to lean into your touch, allowing you to feel his weight against your hand. 

“I have to go now, pretty,” he sighed, placing his hand on yours.

“Wait! No!” You shouted, but it was no use. He was gone just as fast as he appeared.

You still felt his face against your hand, clutching it closely to your chest. Tears began to fall uncontrollably from your eyes. Your heart felt like it had been ripped out of your chest. You still couldn’t understand what had just happened, but you were consumed by dread like you lost him all over again. 

As you went about your day, you couldn’t stop thinking about your dream or whatever it was. His chuckle echoed in head, forbidding you from focusing on your work. Why did he choose to appear now? Why did he appear at all?

“Wow, you look like shit,” Shoko stated, setting a cup of coffee in front of you.

“Thanks. I couldn’t sleep last night. I had a really weird dream…at least I think it was a dream. I don’t know,” you sighed.

“You don’t know if you had a dream?” She questioned.

“It’s complicated. It felt so real.”

“What was it about?”

“Suguru.”

“That’s nothing new. You think about him all the time.”

“No, this time was different. He visited me last night. I touched him. I heard his voice. He was real, but then he just vanished,” you explained, feeling tears sting your eyes.

“Maybe lack of sleep is getting to you,” Shoko shrugged, not giving your dream much thought.

You wanted to believe her. But, you knew what you saw. Suguru was real even though there was no way to prove it to anyone else. There was just no way he wasn’t. 

Later that night, you laid in bed, wondering if he would appear again. You weren’t sure if you wanted him to or not. The familiarity and warmth you felt when he was around brought you so much comfort, but nothing compared to the immense dread you felt when he left. You cursed him in your thoughts for leaving the first place. You never got to build a family with him like you had always planned. 

That night you tossed and turned until you felt your bed dip behind you. A pair of strong, familiar arms wrapped around you.

“You’re back,” you whisper, not yet turning to look at him.

“Of course, I am, pretty girl. I missed you,” Suguru said softly into your ear.

Your emotions balled up inside of you as tears stung your eyes. You were so angry at him but at the same time you were so happy to feel him again. But, Suguru didn’t have the right to say he missed you. He was the one who left in the first place.

“Then why did you leave?” you sniffed, finally turning on your side to face him.

He gave you sympathetic look, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumb. But, he didn’t say anything just yet. You could tell he was trying to find the right words. He knew he had already hurt you enough. He didn’t want to make that mistake again, but he wanted to be honest as well.

“You know, I had to, pretty girl,” he replied, “It’s just as I told Satoru. I was trying create the perfect world. I couldn’t live in a world where we had to put our lives in danger just to protect those who weren’t strong enough to protect themselves. It made me sick.”

“You know what made me sick, Suguru? The love of my life turning into a murderer. You didn’t care about just killing nonsorcerers…you killed countless of our own!” You shouted now with tears freely falling from your eyes.

This was the conversation you never got to have with him. You wanted to hear it from him about why he chose the path he did…about why he chose it over your love.

“I had to do what I had to, my love, please understand that,” he said softly.

“That’s the thing, Suguru. I will never understand why you chose that over us,” you choked out, fully sitting up now.

“I was trying to make the world a better place for us. I just wish you could have realized that.”

“Our love should’ve been enough to make you stay…We never got to start the family we always talked about. All I ever wanted was you…” you cried, breaking down completely.

Suguru quietly made his way to you, crouching down to your level. You looked at him with teary eyes, wondering why he never attempted to make things work and stay with you. He stayed silent for a moment longer before speaking.

“Your love was enough to keep me around for as long as I did. I just couldn’t stand to drag you into a mess that I created,” he said softly.

“You still dragged me into your mess, Suguru! Whether you meant to or not!” You shouted, pushing him back slightly. 

“I understand that now. I am so sorry I left things the way that I did. I’m sorry that I never gave you the closure you deserved. I thought I was protecting you, but I ended up hurting you anyway,” he said now with tears flowing from his own eyes.

You couldn’t help but wipe his tears like he had done for you so many times before. As the silence settled around you, his dark purple eyes gazed into yours. A blush dusted upon your cheeks, remembering how he always used to stare lovingly at you before giving you a kiss. It seemed so silly to cling onto such a small detail, but it was one of your favorite things about him. For a moment, you lost yourself in his eyes before they drifted down to your lips. Suguru slowly leaned towards you until your lips touched. A fire erupted inside you…a fire that you thought had long been extinguished…a fire you never thought you’d feel again. You melted into the kiss, letting him take control. As Suguru deepened the kiss, you crawled into his lap never once breaking away from his lips. It was so natural the way your bodies moved together. His cold hands ran up your shirt, sending a chill down your spine. The coldness of his touch seemed to snap you back to reality.

“What’s wrong, pretty girl?” Suguru looked up at you concerned.

“We can’t do this…you aren’t real,” you whispered.

“Of course, I’m real,” he smiled at you.

“No…I’m gonna open my eyes, and you’re gonna disappear again,” you choked out.

And that’s actually what happened…you snapped your eyes open to find your room completely empty with no trace of Suguru. You pulled your knees to your chest, sobbing uncontrollably. The dread consumed you once again. The pain in your chest almost seemed too much to bare in that moment.

“Why are you never real?” You thought to yourself as you drifted off to sleep. 

Over the next week, Suguru became a part of your nightly routine. You almost expected to see him every night. Each night, the same thing occurred. He would show up and give you comfort before disappearing once again. You knew what to expect, but it somehow became more painful each time he left. It was like he was draining the life from you. You could barely get out of bed because you thought that maybe if you stayed he would come back. Satoru and Shoko grew more and more concerned with your condition, but nothing they did could fill the emptiness you felt without Suguru.

“Y/N, you need to stop this,” Shoko said, sitting beside you in your bed.

“Shoko’s right. This isn’t healthy,” Satoru added.

“I don’t know how to make it stop…I’m not sure I want to,” you replied weakly.

“You haven’t left your bed in almost three days…” Shoko stated.

You could see the worry in both of their faces. They wanted to help you so badly, but they couldn’t help you if you didn’t help yourself first. You knew the longer this situation went on the more it would hurt you and them in the process. You were clinging onto someone who wasn’t real.

“As much as it hurts, you have to let him go,” Satoru said with a sad smile.

He was right, but his words were like knives piercing through your heart. It hurt to hear the truth. You couldn’t live with this delusion anymore. It was either you let him go or you die with him.

As you waited for Suguru to appear, you rehearsed what you were going to say to him in your head. You paced back and forth, wondering if this was really the right thing to do. A part of you wondered if it would be better to just go with him, then to exist in a world without him. You knew the pain of living on with nothing but his memory, and you weren’t sure you wanted to do that anymore.

“Pretty girl,” Suguru said warmly, interrupting your thoughts, “You look upset. What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” you blurted out faster than your brain could comprehend.

“What do you mean?” The hurt in his eyes evident.

“This delusion or dream or whatever this is,” you replied, “It’s beginning to make me feel like I’m crazy or something. I mean I’m seeing my dead boyfriend, talking to him, touching him, kissing him. That’s insane.”

Suguru remained silent. His face was blank with no readable emotion. He just nodded his head and gestured for you to continue as if he knew what was coming.

“Suguru, I love you so much. But, I can’t bare the pain of you leaving anymore. You either have to take me with you or let me go,” you croaked out through your tears.

“You know I can’t take you with me, pretty girl. You have the rest of your life to live. I’m not going to take that away from you,” he sighed.

“What if I wanted to go with you…” you whispered. 

Suguru shook his head. This hurt you, but this conversation hurt him even more. He wanted nothing more but to take you with him.He just couldn’t bring himself to go through with it. You were one of the last good people in the world in his eyes, and you were so young. He couldn’t throw away your potential for his own selfish benefit. 

“It’s not your time yet, love. I’ll leave you with my memory for now,” he smiled.

You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces the moment those words left his mouth. You flung your arms around him, clinging to these final moments with him. He pressed his lips against yours one last time before pulling away.

“Goodbye, pretty girl,” he said with the gentle smile he always had.

“Goodbye, Sugu,” you sniffled.

Months had gone by since you last saw Suguru. The pain got easier to manage as time went on. Shoko and Satoru supported you through the whole thing and reassured you that you had made the right choice. It was better to live without Suguru than waste your life away longing for him. It felt like a dark cloud had lifted from above you. You still thought about Suguru from time to time but not nearly as much as you used to.

You were walking back to your apartment after work. The sky was overcast, and the sound of rain hitting the sidewalk was faint. A ding rang out as a text from Satoru popped up on your phone. It was a selfie of him and Nanami with the new student they had started training. Satoru and the student were making silly faces while Nanami look as serious as ever. You giggled to yourself before hearting the image. As you looked up from your phone, you couldn’t help but notice a man walking in front of you. His long black hair was tied perfectly in a bun. The way he walked seemed eerily familiar. Even the way his hoodie drooped from his shoulder was recognizable.

“No…It couldn’t be…There is no way” you thought to yourself.

You caught a glimpse of the man’s face as he crossed the street. His eyes, nose, and mouth were undeniably Suguru’s. You couldn’t believe it. You had never seen him during the day like this. Your pace quicken as you tried to catch up with him.

“Suguru,” you shouted as you closed the distance between the two of you.

He stopped dead in his tracks almost like he was shocked that you saw him. He turned to look at you…his eyes immediately meeting yours.

“It’s really you,” you said in disbelief.

You stepped closer to him, reaching out a hand to touch him. He held your wrist gently as you placed your hand on his heart. As you studied his features, the hole in your chest reopened. All the healing you did was ripped from you as he looked into your eyes. He could see the pain in your face…he never meant for this to happen again.

“You weren’t supposed to see me, pretty girl,” he sighed.

“What do you mean?” You questioned.

“I still watch over you, pretty girl. I couldn’t let you go that easily,” he explained, “I just wanted to see you happy again.”

“I could be happy with you, though! Please, Suguru, just take me with you,” you begged.

He stepped away from you, allowing your hand to fall from his chest. It wasn’t an easy decision for him to make, but he needed to do what was best for you. He couldn’t allow himself to hold you back any longer.

“We will meet again someday, pretty girl,” he said softly.

“No, Sugu, please.”

“This will be the last time you’ll be seeing me for awhile. I love you, pretty girl,” he smiled before walking away slowly vanishing into thin air.

You wanted to run after him, but your feet were cemented to the ground. It wasn’t until after Suguru disappeared that you could move again. You ran in the direction he went, but it was too late. He had let you go for good this time…

🥹

water’s edge | 02

₊˚.༄ pairing: crown prince!gojo satoru x f!reader | setting: modern royal au | official playlist

₊˚.༄ summary: in a world where titles define their fates, gojo satoru, the crown prince of japan, and his wife-to-be, face a tempestuous court of deception and schadenfreude. as they waltz on the edge of ruin, can their love endure the treacherous waters that threaten to pull them apart, or will the whims of the enigmatic chrysanthemum throne prove strong enough to drown them both?

₊˚.༄ author’s note: did i really just punch out a 12.9k chapter? 😅 thank you again to the loml @angstbot2000 for beta-reading! sorry for the wait everyone and thank uou for the sweet messages! again, reblogs are highly appreciated.

₊˚.༄ episode list: 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. +++

Flashback: Shinjuku Opera City (a week after the jubilee gala)

Click. Beep. beep. beep Your wristwatch mimicked a ticking time bomb right now. You breathe once to make sure you were still, for all intents and purposes, alive. The smell of the Sauvignon blanc laid in front of you was so heavenly, its grape-like aroma tempting you to take a sip but you couldn’t, afraid that your body will just reject it in its current state of shock. You must have had a few too many earlier, your commoner palette not exactly used to the refreshing and crisp taste of white wine directly sourced from the rolling hills of Pouilly-Fume, and you must be hallucinating all this in your drunken stupor. Yes, all this was a hallucination, some sick naive dream you conjured after sharing a passing glance with the prince of the nation. It had to be, otherwise, why does it feel that your body has shut down? You were unable to move. Unable to speak. Unable to think.

And you were adamantly sure that you had also been rendered unable to breathe.

“…Huh?” That probably sounded stupid to your unlikely companions, well, normally it isn’t that stupid if you haven’t said that every five minutes or so during this fateful encounter. “This is a mistake. You really want me to-?”

“-Yes,” he said immediately, his mother nodding alongside him. His finger glided across the rim of his scotch glass. He took it neat, of course, the Crown Prince is a man of good taste. “I can ask my people to help you move your belongings to a more dignified residence tomorrow morning.”

The empress frowned at Satoru’s backhanded comment about your way of life. “Satoru, you’re scaring her,” she whispered worriedly to her son.

“If she’s smart, sure,” Satoru hisseed under his breath. If he was going to propose to you and consequently marry you under his parents’ orders, he was going to do it his way. “Look, Ms…?” he trails off, your name escaping him.

“(Y/N),” you provided. “My name is (Y/N).”

He makes a soft ‘tch’ sound which goes unnoticed since you were too preoccupied in shaking away the haze of thoughts in your mind dimming your ability to think. He continues, “As I was saying. Ms. (Y/N),” he puts emphasis on your name, etching the loathsome sound of it into his mind. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

What did he mean by that? “Excuse me?”

“I know I said that I was just a fan when I sent you those flowers after your performance tonight but, I guess you could say I’ve become an admirer of yours.”

This was all scripted, and Satoru, despite having had a memory good enough to memorize has a good his entire family tree including the collateral branches before he even graduated from primary school, found the words getting stuck in his throat and he trailed off, his mind was filled to the brim with nothing but the face of the woman he is unwillingly betraying in the name of protecting his status.

But wasn’t this what she wanted when she threw herself at the emperor’s feet that night? She was selflessly allowing him to go through with this despite knowing that every false tender word that he says to you would be a dagger to her heart, that every moment spent with you instead of her would make her cry a river of tears.

It feels as if this entire thing was a circus he had been forced into because his crown was hanging dangerously off the edge of the tightrope above him. Forced to perform, forced to act, forced to smile so that he wouldn’t feel the sting of the whip his father, the ringleader, had in his hand. Wasn’t that something Satoru has always done? How was this any different from all the elaborate ruses he’s been ordered to perform? Gojo involuntarily looks behind his seat, craning his head back, hoping to see the familiar figure of the love of his life standing exactly a meter away from him, just as she’s always faithfully done, but that was all wishful thinking; Himiko had been removed from the duty of accompanying him tonight.

“I don’t think I’m just a fan,” he continues, turning his attention back to you, the words confessing his so-called love being uttered stoically. You stop him right there, the amount of bewilderment in your heart at a fatal maximum. His hand finds his pocket, searching for the godforsaken ring he is about to present to you. “And I—“

“—You’re just curious, Your Royal Highness,” you dismissed his so-called feelings with a shake of your head. “You’ve never been with someone outside your circle, and you’re curious about what it would be like to be involved with a commoner like me.”

When the words leave your lips, a stretch of panic washes over your face. Did you just disrespect the prince and the empress by doubting the sincerity of his words? Or did they disrespect you by treating you like a moron? Were you just supposed to believe that Prince Satoru had feelings for you? Your mind was spinning, and you were feeling a migraine aura beginning to form at your peripheral vision. You had to get out of there. Quickly moving the chair back so that you could stand up, you bow contritely to excuse yourself from the room. “Ms. (Y/N), please wait!” the empress sighs exasperatedly when you leave the private dining room of the high-class restaurant, your heels clicking against the marble floor as you hurriedly see yourself out.

Perhaps, they were being too hasty for you to say “yes”, too secretive about their true intentions. If they were to even have a chance of convincing you to marry Satoru, they have to let you in on the truth. Luckily, despite her age, the empress catches up to you just as you are about to hail a cab which was proving to be difficult since it was now past eleven o’clock and even the busy skyscraper district of Shinjuku was starting to look deserted.

“Ms. (Y/N),” she breathes, stopping just a few feet from you. “Please hear me out. I’m sorry, this was a mistake…”

“It's fine, Your Royal Highness, I know the Crown Prince doesn’t like me the way he says he does. I may not be as highly educated as you but I’m not an idiot.”

The empress looks on sadly. “Well,” she sighs, standing next to you. “I knew you would figure it out sooner or later. Still, I’m really sorry for what happened back there.”

You don’t respond for a long while, contemplating what to say; the air between you is one of awkwardness and something’s gotta give, otherwise, you and the empress would be standing in the middle of the empty street like total fools. You are the first to break, “Your Highness. Why me? And what’s this really about?”

Why on earth were you chosen over so many other women in Tokyo’s most affluent families to become Prince Satoru’s wife? You expected that this so-called dinner would be nothing more than a courtesy call to thank the prince and the empress for visiting the last night of your show. One could only imagine the emotional whiplash you felt when the prince suddenly offered for you to become his wife which was totally unexpected considering you have never spoken a word to one another before. Just what kind of a messed up Shakespearean romantic tragedy did you wind up in? This entire thing felt like a work by some deranged author who’s had one too many to drink while writing this poisoned manuscript of a love story.

“It’s exactly as the prince said,” she says succinctly. “The prince isn’t getting any younger and he’s in need of a wife. That’s what I would have told you if you were one of those shallow high society women I’ve had the displeasure of meeting.” The empress bitterly thinks about one specific girl that is so loathsome and vile that she has forcibly brought Satoru on the brink of total destruction. Last week’s fiasco with the emperor was a warning shot, and knowing her husband, there won’t be a second time.

You frown, not liking it when people are purposefully brought down to compliment another. “I’m sure that’s not true,” you mumbled, not really knowing what to say.

“But it is,” the empress insists. “People who are born with everything have this tendency to think they are above everyone else. Maybe that was what caused the prince to become this way, because his own mother was born from nothing,” she chuckled.

Knowing that the prince was the only son she will ever be blessed with, having had him at the age of forty-one, she overindulged Satoru by giving him everything, and bending to his every will. So, Satoru grew up confident that he’d only have to point at a storefront window and his mother would get it for him, otherwise he’d throw a tantrum. Maybe that’s what’s going on — all the scandals, all the controversies — was this another one of Satoru’s tantrums because they refused to allow him to have a relationship with, much less marry, his chief-of-staff?

“Nothing? I thought Your Highness, well before you married His Majesty, was an heiress to a car company. I don’t think you should lump yourself in with us.” Those who were truly born from nothing, you thought to yourself.

The empress puts a hand over her mouth as her shoulders begin to shake as she giggles. “Is that so?” she laughs, reaching into her coat pocket, in search of something. Finally, she feels the familiar feel of the trinket she keeps with her day and night.

You expected her to pull out something more valuable than a five yen coin, and it looked like it’s an old one, judging by its rough and rust-stained edges. “See this?” She carefully places the coin in her hand as if it were a precious item. “This was the first ever money I ever had to my name at only eighteen years old. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it even now,” she smiles wistfully as memories of her youth, albeit a simpler time away from the intrigue of the imperial court. She gently places the memento in your hand.

It was so light, it barely weighed a few grams yet it held so much of the empress’s heart in it, like a personal diary that has kept her company throughout the years, or perhaps it was a compass that led her to the path that resonated with her true self- the girl of only eighteen that had the look of a dreamer in her eyes, or maybe it was an anchor that served to keep her feet firmly planted on the humble ground in spite of her exalted status as the emperor’s consort.

You studied the coin. “Only five yen?” Even you, a musician whose finances are scattered to the wind, could make more than five yen in less than an hour. You were confused. Was this another one of their tricks to get you to say yes? No, it couldn’t be, seeing as how the empress seemed so genuine now, almost like the conversation you were having was like a mother and daughter having a heartfelt chat.

The empress nods. “I was a store clerk at a music shop when I was young. It was the only way I could save up and go to college. Of course, this was all before my father invented that powerhouse of an automobile when he was tinkering around with a few of the customer’s cars in the mechanic shop he ran.”

Listening intently to the empress’s story, a sense of solidarity seemed to grow between you and her. “And this was your first salary? Hard to believe music shops pay so little back then.”

“No, no. That was a tip I received from a customer when I returned her wallet. She left it in the shop and I ran after her. Of course if I were a thief, I would have taken off with it, but it was completely empty.” That caused you to laugh. Who knew that the empress who always carried herself with poise and dignity had such a deadpan sense of humor? “So, she gave me the only coin in the wallet to thank me. A five yen coin. Since then, I’ve kept this with me at all times. Call it an old lady’s sentimental ramblings, but this is what keeps me from letting all this get to my head.”

You nod in understanding. But what did this beautiful story have to do with marrying Satoru? The empress senses the question before you could even form words to ask it.

“What I’m saying is that Satoru was my outlet,” she sulked. “My second chance. So I gave him everything his little heart could ever want. And as a mother I know it was wrong of me to raise him to think he’s above everything and everyone.” She didn’t actively do that, though. Satoru just developed that toxic kind of thinking somewhere down the line. “I’m sure you’ve heard the nasty things they say about my son.”

The atmosphere suddenly turns sullen. You remembered how you watched in horror when Prince Satoru appeared on your TV screen the morning after the jubilee gala. You normally saw the prince attending royal functions such as groundbreaking and ribbon-cutting ceremonies, and while you are aware, just like everyone else in the country, that Satoru had his own share of misfits, you dismissed it as the actions of a rebellious young adult. You never thought for one second that you would see the prince battering a man until he was closer to death than a rat caught in a mousetrap outside of a shady gambling den in an unsavory district in Tokyo.

“I’m pretty sure the press is stretching the truth at times.” That was the right thing to say, you didn’t want to badmouth her son in front of her.

She scoffs humorlessly. “I’m not asking you to defend him. What I’m asking of you is to help him.” She takes your hand in hers. “Ms. (Y/N), this marriage may start out as a publicity stunt, but you could turn into something better than that.”

Maybe you’d fall in love with the prince, and maybe he could open his heart to love another again, someone who was healthier for him than Himiko. While the disbelief in your face was clear, the empress’s words give you a sense of hope but again, being excused from this narrative was what you wanted more than anything. “I think you overestimate my power, Your Highness. What you are asking of me will only end badly, I’m sure of it. It’ll be a disaster for everyone.”

Looks like there was no convincing you. A lot seems to be going on inside the empress’s head and you sympathized with her anxiety, but this was something you couldn’t do. You have been what people call a “pushover” your entire life, but the subject of your marriage is critically non-negotiable.

“I understand,” the empress is now resigned to her son’s fate. It seems, after all that song and dance in front of the emperor, it was all futile in the end. At this rate, this time tomorrow, the son of the empress’s unwilling mistress would probably be declared heir apparent and she would be powerless to stop it.

“I’m sorry, it’s just my mother taught me that marriage is sacred and that I should never mess around with it. You could have asked me for anything, Your Highness, and I would have said ‘yes’ in a heartbeat.”

“Your mother seems like a very wise woman,” the empress smiles softly. “And she’s very lucky to have you as her daughter.”

You stiffened at that. “I…I wouldn’t know if she feels that way, really.”

A wave of confusion crashes over the empress. What did you mean? “Sorry?” she clarifies. You hesitate to let her in on your own pain and you feel a slight prick of guilt poking your heart. She had been so vulnerable tonight, so open with you about her grief while you guarded yours in a titanium safe. She decides not to push the subject further and instead places a hand over yours comfortingly before turning to leave.

A thought occurs in your head and everything seems to slow down. The cars passing by the main avenue of Nishi-Shinjuku seemed to be running at 10 mph instead of the road’s minimum 20 mph. The billboards towering over you have momentarily lagged like some fatal error occurred in the LCD screen.

…This was wrong, you shouldn’t even be thinking of this.

...What would make you any different from a bloodsucking gold-digger?

…Don’t run after her.

She wouldn’t want you to do this. It would kill her if you did this. But haven’t you killed her many times before? What would make this time any different? Absolutely nothing. Your mind is made up.

…

“Your Highness, please wait.”

6:12 AM.

You didn’t know that the smell of flowers could be so vile and revolting.

Sat in the middle of a room with about a hundred bouquets of flowers from a multitude of well-wishers, at six in the morning on the day of your wedding, you gaze up at the huge mural of your new residence in the imperial palace. The pupils of your eyes followed each image on the vast painted ceiling which, compared to your tiny Tokyo apartment, felt like the entire sky altogether. Your eyes follow the image painted by Kanō Eitoku depicting life in the old seat of the imperial system, Kyoto, each blink of your eyes, you hone in on a new aspect of the mural: the mountain of Ryūgatake, the old imperial palace which you were told still existed today, the grasslands surrounding the ancient capital, and the people of Kyoto as they go about their daily lives.

If only those people could speak and were not just plastered images on a lifeless cement canvas to keep you company, maybe you won’t feel as lonely having had to wait for your wedding day to roll by without your husband-to-be by your side.

Sighing, you fall against the carpeted floor, your hands clutching a greeting card from one of your friends who gushed about how you had suddenly become a princess-to-be overnight and how you must be so happy to be engaged to such a handsome man that is prince Satoru Gojo. You hold back your tears, your fingernails digging into the vellum card.

You’ve given up calling the Imperial Household Agency to connect the line to Satoru, they come up with a different ruse each time. “Please, I need to speak to the Crown Prince,” you would sniffle into the line’s speaker desperately.

“His Royal Highness is busy right now in his office.”

“My apologies, Ms. (Y/N), but Prince Satoru is unavailable right now due to [insert name of engagement which is perfectly-timed with the wedding consultations he’s supposed to attend with you here].”

“Prince Satoru is currently away to inaugurate the new building for [insert any imperial charity foundation here].”

But you know all those so-called reasons for his absence were lies, excuses to keep their future consort from overthinking where her distant fiancé could be. Come to think of it, you haven’t seen Himiko around either, that alone should be enough to answer the lingering questions in your head about Satoru’s whereabouts. It wasn’t as if you could suddenly act like some jealous spouse when 1.) You aren’t married yet. 2.) You are the trespasser in their relationship. 3.) You are simply a bandage solution to clean up the prince’s image, someone who had unknowingly been at the right place at the right time. You are well aware of where you stand in the grand scheme of things; that kiss as you drove out of the palace compound that day should have been a good enough reminder that you will never truly be your future husband’s better half.

That title, the one you unwittingly stole from a woman you’ve never even met before, is something you can never truly call your own. You were no different than the typical other woman who would wear the legal wife’s wedding dress like some thief.

Yet how is it that you know all of these things like scripture but you still spent the entire night crying over a man who finds it physically impossible to be in the same room as you? Why did it hurt so much when you saw your fiancé shield his girlfriend from the autumn chill the same way you hoped he would shield you from the many challenging questions during that press conference? Why does it feel like a dagger had been plunged into your chest when you saw Himiko kiss Satoru so tenderly, and your husband-to-be returning the gesture with equal fervor?

You lay on your side, the velvet texture of the carpet somehow providing you some semblance of comfort. What would your retainers say when they come into this room and see the crumpled form of their future empress on the floor, her knees hugged to her chest as she tries to make sense of everything that has happened these past few days? You imagined that they’d probably think you were crazy, and Satoru would probably jeer at the thought of having a simpleton as a wife.

You were only a girl of twenty-three summers, you should be enjoying your twenties by doing the things that you love with the people you love. These sunny days of youth pass by in the blink of an eye, but in your case, you have been totally robbed of it, now being primed to become not just a princess but a wife too. While the former is certainly an intimidating role, the latter is just downright petrifying for someone as young as yourself.

Not a single soul save for the empress went to check up on you last night, the only people you were expecting to keep you company today are the hairdressers and makeup artists to prepare you for the wedding. Of course, the austere members of the Imperial Household Agency are also set to make an appearance in your chambers today probably to make you sit through another briefing session on court etiquette. You glance out the window, it was barely light out due to the winter equinox when nights are longer than daytime, and somehow that made you even more sad than you already were laying down on the floor of your room, desolately alone.

A knock at the door awakens you from your trance and you sit up, arranging your hair neatly and pulling on your shoes. Sighing, you make your way towards the door and see someone who you do not quite expect. He momentarily shifts his attenton to the battalion of attendants behind him, nodding to them. “Leave us alone.”

“Your Majesty, good morning,” your breath hitches in your throat as you hastily bow your head before the emperor who seemed to be more anxious about this day more than you, seeing as he is already dressed in his three piece suit and slacks ensemble with the Collar of the Supreme Order of the Chrysanthemum hanging between his lapels.

The emperor was an enigmatic figure who mostly kept to himself, his chamberlain and main staff often joking amongst themselves how the emperor was really a recluse who had only been born to become the sovereign ruler of a nation by an unfortunate stroke of fate. Your future father-in-law hums in acknowledgement and you are left to wonder if this is where Satoru gets his aloof nature from. “Good morning, (Y/N). May I come in?” he asks as if this entire compound wasn’t his.

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

He eyes the many bouquets in the room, sighing heavily as he does, the guilt of putting you in this impossible position weighing on him. He admits that he jumped the gun when the empress offered to have Satoru marry someone who could brighten up his public image from the many blemishes it incurred during the night of the jubilee when he and Himiko were seen together, causing trouble in the casinos of the infamous Kabukichō red light district.. To have you bear the weight of becoming a lamb to the slaughter with this marriage was just downright cruel, knowing that his son will certainly make it his life’s purpose to destroy you, but what choice did he have?

It is the crown that makes the choice for him, he’s been told by his own father.

“Listen, do you have the slightest idea of what you’re about to go through?” the man whom you would call your father-in-law in just a few hours asks flatly.

Of course you do, Satoru has already given you a taste of what your marriage is going to be like. You solemnly nod “I think so,” murmuring softly, crestfallenness is evident in your voice. “Satoru has made it clear.”

The emperor purses his lips as he fumbles with a tulip that had been nestled in one of the bouquets in your chambers, “Well, it’s good that you know. I know my son and I am not here to tell you that everything you’ve seen these past couple of days will get better,” he eyes the telephone, one you haven’t even placed the phone back onto the handset in hopes that Satoru would call you. “In fact, it’s only going to get worse from here.”

You frown, crestfallen. “How so?” you asked, your hand gripping the fabric of your dress. “Are you saying that this is just the beginning?” Truthfully, you were fine with this being the beginning, only if you could have the reassurance that all this will come to an eventual end. But it seems now that this was going to be life as you know it, with a husband who gags at the sight of you and has the innate ability to treat you like you were his personal bedwarmer and doormat.

“Yes,” the emperor says gravely, a dark look crossing his features. “So if you’d like to back out now, now is your only chance. Satoru has made enough messes, a canceled wedding will barely do anything to his reputation at this point.”

He’s right; these past days have only proved that Satoru is probably granting you a way out, maybe that’s why he has done nothing else but to ignore you as a final act of mercy if you ever decide to bail. One tiny kiss on the cheek is nothing when he starts to go missing in the middle of the night to attend to his mistress’s beck and call, when he starts to bring home his mistress for dinner to actively spite you with their relationship, or when he, god forbid, starts fucking in her in your marital bed while you’re away on some royal function.

You could live a full life without him, having barely even known him save for his proclivity to emotionally torment you, but it feels wrong to just…up and leave after all that song and dance in the press opportunity.l Shaking your head, the emperor’s offer is refused insistently.

“I’m not going to give up on him, I won’t give up on our marriage before it even begins,” your eyes bore into the emperor’s own. You’ve promised yourself and the empress that you’ll see this through, if Satoru is going to make your life a living hell, then, you’ll just have to take all his blows like a champ.

“I don’t doubt your willpower, (Y/N). I’m just saying that this might be even more difficult for you than you think,” the emperor warns. “Satoru doesn’t just push back, he’ll run over people who get in his way.”

“Your Majesty, it’e alright. I’ll manage somehow.” you mumbled. “The empress and I made an agreement that if I marry Satoru, I…” you trail off, not really wanting to reveal more than you should, the emperor waits for you to continue, his eyebrows furrowed together.

What would you get if you married Satoru if not unnecessary suffering? And even then, that didn’t sound like a good deal, the emperor thinks to himself. You could have gone on happily with your life, blissfully unaware of the trials of being married to the white-haired prince, you probably would have continued climbing the career ladder before finding someone to settle down with, maybe you’ll have a few kids along the way, and Satoru would also be blissfully unaware of a certain (Y/N) (L/N) existing on this plane of reality with him.

Why were you so committed to marrying him?

“I’d be able to…” you stutter. There was no use hiding it now but maybe you could conceal the truth a little longer, if not for your sake, but for the empress — no, a grieving mother — who met you in a hotel café that night with the weight of the world on her shoulders and asked you to keep the details of this transactional union a secret. “I would…”

The emperor raises a hand to stop you, though he is mildly perturbed at your hesitance to open up to him, he decides that whatever you and his wife were keeping from him does not concern him or the throne and that it is simply a thing that should be left unsaid. He really didn’t want to pry into the details of the contract you agreed to, and since you seem to have already made up your mind, all he could do now is hope that you do not give up so easily on his son the same way he did, and that this choice to marry Satoru would not backfire on you or the imperial system in the long run.

“Stop. I understand,” the emperor nods, his shoulders seemingly slumping in defeat as he is unable to convince you to cut it and run from the horrible fate you were speeding towards at a hundred miles an hour. Maybe Satoru was right to make you out to be an idiot, the emperor frowns. “But…don’t say I didn’t warn you, and from the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the best.”

And just like that, the wedding pushes through as scheduled, having declared before the father of the groom that you weren’t one to give up so easily, or…maybe it’s just your blind optimism talking.

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” you settle into an ornate curtsy, your foot gracefully tucked behind the other, your hand postured in a cordial handshake with His Majesty. The emperor’s pupils dilate, his mouth runs dry and he feels like something in his body had momentarily stopped working or had broken entirely — he knows that trademark act of obeisance so well — you’ve perfectly captured the image of a younger version of his wife who had perfected royal protocol in just under a year when they got married. She must have sought to teach you everything she knew or rather she was forced to learn by herself when she was in your position in an act of true esprit de corps. And for a moment, he finds himself surrendering to your doe-eyed but unmistakably poised charm, and he starts to become more convinced that you were a worthy future daughter-in-law.

He shakes his head, swiftly snapping him out of his trance, now was not the time for these things. The emperor nods back to return the gesture before turning to leave, just as your attendants are about to arrive to get you ready for the ceremony. “We’ll see you in the cathedral, then, (Y/N).”

But as soon as he is halfway out the door, he turns back to look at you one last time as (Y/N) (L/N), for the next time he will see you, you will then be (Y/N) Gojo, his first daughter-in-law, the first royal bride in centuries who neither hails from a family of politicians nor influential persons alike, the icon of a new chapter for the imperial family.

He sighs, turning back around to face you, having almost forgotten the task he’d been entrusted with by his wife. “I almost forgot. Ijichi,” he calls to his faithful grand steward who is waiting outside your chambers to bring forth a rather special gift he and the empress intended to present to you after the ceremony but he figured now might be a good time. The tall, lanky and sickly-looking spectacled man known as Ijichi bows before you which leaves a strange feeling festering within you, he was carrying a navy blue felt case that seemed so valuable that he had been compelled to wear gloves to prevent his bare hands from touching the fine fabric.

The emperor motions to open the case and your face pales when you see what is inside. “This is intended to be worn by the Princess Royal on her wedding day but since I don’t have a daughter to give that title to, the title will now belong to you.”

The tiara in his hands is a hefty thing, molded entirely from the most of valuable of silvers, it resembled the Queen Mary Fringe Tiara that had been worn by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II on her wedding day, with an abundance of baton diamonds dotting every conceivable nook and cranny. It takes some time for you to adjust when it is placed upon your head, it only weighed a modest 1.7 kilograms, it was much lighter than the many tiaras the family keeps hidden away in the imperial vaults but for someone like you, it is an awfully heavy thing not just in the literal sense but also in the figurative side of things.

As of this moment, you weren’t just an ordinarily forgettable face in a crowd anymore.

“Carry the weight.” The emperor’s voice is commandeering. He steps back, scanning how the tiara looks on you from afar and though it looked awkwardly placed on your head with how you are struggling to balance its weight, you still managed to carry it adequately. “Now…you’re one of us.”

8:55 AM.

“Need some help?”

Satoru looks up to inspect the reflection on the mirror and a sad smile crosses his face when he sees the familiar figure of Himiko leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest as she gazes at her beloved getting ready for his wedding day. “You don’t have to be here.” He begrudgingly fumbles with his collar, unable to meet her eyes. “I don’t want you to get hurt,” he professes, despite having immeasurably hurt you these past couple of days instead.

Himiko shakes her head. There was no use in grumbling about it now when just on the other side of the palace, Satoru’s unworthy bride-to-be was being pampered by her many ladies with manicures, foot massages, and practically anything to make you happy while she, the prince’s true love, was condemned to watch him be cruelly given away to someone else. There was a sense of finality with how hundreds of palace staff rushed through the hallways carrying all sorts of wedding paraphernalia to decorate the Chowaden reception hall and the courtyard to welcome the wedding guests.

Satoru frowns when her hands find his collar, she skillfully untangles the ribbon medal and readjusts the silver emerald-studded necklace that came with it.

Please…just one more minute…one more minute with you, Satoru closes his eyes as Himiko’s thumbs tentatively rub his chiseled cheek as if she were memorizing every bump and every curve of his skin before someone else tries to claim that they know every bit of Satoru inside and out. She knows it will never be true, no one can ever know Satoru the way she intimately knows him, not even if he was going to marry another woman. It may be possible for you steal everything from her — the emperor and empress’s favor, the public’s warm approval, the ring that had been fitted to accommodate the size of her finger before it was given to you — it may have been easy for you to pull the rug from underneath her, but it would be difficult — no, impossible — for you to ever claim ownership of Satoru.

He was hers and she was his, Satoru leans against Himiko’s touch, sighing woefully. “I’ll make her pay, I promise. I’ll break her, destroy her again. And again. And again until nothing’s left of her,” he recites the promise, punctuating the words with a kiss every time, as if they were having an illicit wedding of their own, and his words were a marriage vow — the only one that he will honor with every fiber of his being. Himiko bites her lower lip before she slowly nods, appeased.

“But Satoru, marrying her is the only way for you to be restored as heir apparent. Either way, we can’t win without doing this your father’s way.” Her hands leave his collar and she sadly gazes out the window, her narrow eyes glazing over the ancient ginkgo tree at the center of the palace’s vast atrium which was now shedding their green leaves to take on the tell-tale yellow hue as autumn draws near. She always loved the view of the palace courtyard from above, especially in this room where she and Satoru spent many nights proving their love for one another.

Gojo frowns at her melancholia, he comes up from behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I’ll think of something, I promise this won’t last longer than it needs to,” he kisses her cheek, nuzzling it with his nose tenderly.

“I don’t mind waiting, Satoru, I’d wait for you forever, and as much as we both hate her, we need (Y/N),” she spits out your name as if it were rat poison in her mouth. “So, let’s just play along. It’s not like we’re not used to meeting in deserted parking lots at midnight, right?” She offers him a half-smile, reminding Satoru that their entire affair has always been illicit in nature.

It’s not like she was accepted by his parents to be their son’s future consort. They’ve been through this before, hundreds of times rather, even before you came along. They’ve had to deal with so many forces ripping them apart over the past three years from the oh-so-omnipotent emperor who hardly wields any political power to his neurotic wife whom she has called, on several occasions, a bitch.

And yet, together they remained as it has always been, with Satoru cradling Himiko in his arms as he peppers kisses up her neck, sucking at the soft flesh, his hips flush against hers. He does this in front of the window for any unfortunate passerby to see. Hell, Satoru was hoping you’d walk by and see this heartbreaking display and maybe you’ll just run home in your wedding dress with your tail between your legs.

“We don’t have to get used to it, Himiko,” he mumbles into her neck, inhaling her sweet perfume, the one he liked the most. “One day, we won’t have to hide anymore,” he kisses her cheek tenderly, caressing the bone of her wrists which still bore faint marks from the handcuffs that had been wrongfully placed on her with his thumb. “And people can say whatever they want about us, and it wouldn’t matter because I will have been the emperor by then and you, my empress.” He presses their foreheads together, the tips of their noses barely touching in a moment of silence.

After a long while, Satoru lets go of Himiko, his eyes scanning hers as if he were searching for answers hidden deep within her soul. “What is it?”

“I just wish you hadn’t stepped in back there.” It was a thought that kept him awake these past agonizing nights. “Maybe if you just stayed out of my father’s office, this wouldn’t have happened. I was alright with you visiting me in my jail cell, you know.”

“As if I’d ever let that happen,” she sighs when he pulls away to fasten his cufflinks, suddenly feeling a bit disheartened at the loss of his touch. She kisses his cheek, looking at his reflection through the mirror, her eyes alight with adoration. “I promised I’d always be your ally, didn’t I?”

When she and Satoru first met three years ago in the selection for his chief-of-staff, Himiko Zenin, despite coming from the affluent Zenin clan, lagged behind compared to her contenders who aced the exams that tested their knowledge on the law, constitution, history of the imperial system, royal protocol, foreign languages and other aspects that may prove useful for the prince’s right hand. But there was one thing that she had that all the other applicants didn’t have, and she demonstrated that perfectly when Satoru unexpectedly dropped by during the final interviews to speak to each of the candidates himself.

Satoru stared at Himiko with a bored expression that day, his being devoid of any emotion. “Ms. Zenin, it seems you did poorly in all of the exams,” he glances at her file which should have been tossed in the bin by the time she placed last in the jurisprudence exam. “And you’re affiliated with one of the more morally ambiguous families in the country. Looks like today’s just not your day, huh?”

It was true. Having Himiko Zenin as his chief of staff was dangerous from the get-go. The Zenin clan’s head back then during the time of the selection was on trial for graft and corruption. But, there was something Himiko had that all the other applicants did not. At the time, he couldn’t quite put a finger on it but now, after years of selfless service to him, Satoru realizes that it was the ferocious loyalty that hid underneath her then perfectly ordinary shell which he personally refined into the gem of a woman she is now, and she never swore allegiance to the crown but rather to him, Satoru Gojo.

“But, I’ll indulge you,” he reclined against his chair that day, his arms crossed. “Why should I even consider you as my chief of staff? What can you offer me that the others before you cannot?”

Her answer to that question instantly won him over and in that instant, Himiko’s life had changed forever. “Whatever you ask of me, Your Royal Highness, I’d give my very life for you.”

Satoru turns away from the mirror, his lips instantly on hers. His hand dangerously hovered over the hem of her dress. “S-Satoru, what are you doing?” she moans into his mouth as Satoru moves both of them to the bed, he climbs atop of her as she lay on the mattress, her locks splayed over the silk sheets. She knows what he’s doing, this was almost like a film she has seen many times before; this was how tense conversations with Gojo go with him impatiently parting her legs, their hands desperately discarding their clothes until they are left utterly bare before one another.

He wanted to destroy you the same way you destroyed what he had with Himiko. This anger translated into his rough pace. He roughly jostles his hips against Himiko’s, her arms wrapping around him as he buries his cock inside her, his lips covering her milky flesh with dark-purplish bruises, marking her as his.

Call him a sadist but he hopes that Himiko would change into a dress that could flaunt her marked skin so that when you fearfully look around the cathedral, warily searching for her, your heart would break at the sight of the countless hickeys on her neck and collar. He wanted to see you cry the first of the many tears you will shed for the crime of marrying him.

“Satoru…!” she cries out as the luscious feeling of his girth pistoning in and out of her. He grunts as he feels him inch closer and closer to his high. “Mmph—‘Toru,” she whines when he reangles his hips, plunging deeper into her, his arms locking behind hers as he violently chases his release. He’s so close. “I love you, I love you…-a-ah!”

A symphony of pleasured groans falls from his lips, his very being uncoiling as he cums. His hips involuntarily keep thrusting as hot spurts of his cum drips down Himiko’s entrance, mixing with her own release. Himiko frowns as Satoru clicks his tongue at the soiled sheets beneath their connected forms. He groans as he pulls out, sinking into the warmth of her embrace, his still hardened cock poking her inner thigh. “Promise me you’ll only love me?” she whispers as her fingers absentmindedly play with his white hair.

“I promise,” Gojo murmurs into the crook of her neck as he lulled to sleep by her soft, even breaths. “I promise it’s only you…no one else.”

11:45 AM.

Only half an hour left. A crowd of, from what you have heard, 70,000 have gathered on the strip of the main road that the bridal car will pass en route to the cathedral.

“It’s true,” your maid of honor who people refer to as Ieiri says, showing you her phone which showed the many tweets from news agencies, famous personalities and normal people alike about how excited they were to witness your wedding day. There were countless social media posts consisting of yours and Satoru’s official engagement picture and many have taken to hosting their own live-streaming sessions of this monumental day.

“Everyone’s so excited. I wish my wedding would be this big,” one of your bridesmaids sighs dreamily. You manage a small chuckle at her, maybe if she knew of your plight right now, she would probably be eating those words alongside the many petit fours she’s been munching on this past hour. “Look at all those people,” she continues scrolling through her phone.

“It’s the first televised imperial wedding so obviously, it’s a big deal, Riko,” Utahime laughs. “Not to mention, it’s the first time a member of the imperial family would be married in a Western-themed ceremony.” For everyone to see.

One of your newly appointed helpers enters the room, and jogs over to you as quickly as she can in her heels, she has a small jewelry box delicately decorated in an ecru gift wrapper in her hand. “Ms. (Y/N), this is from the prince. His butler told me to give this to you.” You’ve been sad all day and your ladies-in-waiting heave a sigh of relief when they see a hint of a smile on your face, even if it did hold a bit of apprehension.

“Really? For me?” You stand up to accept the small token, careful not to ruffle your wedding dress too much as per the dressmaker’s instructions since the fabric used to construct the piece was susceptible to crumpling. Momentarily setting your phone down on the vanity table mid-text, you graciously accept the wedding gift. Maybe Satoru was starting to warm up to you and that he is now chipping away at the wall he built between the two of you. You hoped that by sending you this gift, this would be the start of something new and better with your husband.

But given how things are, that would be impossible. This was probably just a gift he sent to appease you after many days of effectively acting like you don’t exist.

You open the box and your ladies chatter around you excitedly. “It’s so pretty!” the youngest of your bridesmaids, the daughter of the Japanese ambassador to France apparently, marvels at the pair of earrings. Briefly smiling at her, you then turn your attention to the small letter that was neatly slotted between the groove of the box’s padded interior that held the earrings in place. His handwriting was so conscientiously beautiful that it almost looked like a computer-generated font, there wasn’t a hint of clumsiness in each stroke.

“To (Y/N),

I’m sorry about these past few days. This won’t make up for it, but, I’d like to join you in wishing for a successful marriage together.

– HRH Satoru Gojo”

Your heart slows at the cold closing. He had omitted the words “love” and “sincerely” before his name, but you expected that. If scraps of affection are all you could ever hope to get out of him, you have to learn to deal with it sooner or later; this was your life now, you will always be second to the love of his life. It must have taken everything out of him, and it must have caused an argument to erupt between him and Himiko, to send you this and you understand that he’s also having a difficult time with how things are now but it mattered so much to you to see him try. Regardless if this gift was given to you freely or not, you couldn’t refuse it, even if every voice in your head was screaming at you, reminding you of the horrific scene you saw that day when you caught your fiancé kissing another woman out in the open immediately after you announced your engagement.

“Would you like me to put it on you?” Riko asks. “I’m sure the prince will be happy to see you wear these.”

“You really think so?” you wince when your helper struggles to find your earlobe piercing. “I didn’t know he could be so sweet.” That’s obviously a lie; you know full well Satoru could be sweet, it just pained you to remember that he’s capable being sweet to another deliberately causing you immense grief. Your helper stiffens slightly. She has seen him become sweet before, albeit to another, but she didn’t have to divulge any details and accidentally ruin your wedding day.

She nods shyly, succeeding with the first diamond earring and then the other. She steps away from the mirror. You looked radiant. “Y-yes.”

Noticing her discomfort, you expertly steer the conversation elsewhere. “I see. Well I should probably return the favor.”

You’ve gotten Satoru a wristwatch you and the empress had personally had commissioned by a famed watchmaker that could rival the craftsmanship of a Rolex. It just arrived last night and well, given your current mental state then having taken the brunt of Satoru’s ire the past few days, you couldn’t bring yourself to wrap it. Momentarily deciding if you still had time to have one of your helpers buy some wrapping paper, you realized it would be cutting it too close so you hastily scribbled on a blank dedication card you randomly plucked from one of the bouquets you received. Luckily, some of them had extra cards.

“To Your Royal Highness,

Please don’t apologize, I’m sorry too for being pushy lately. Thank you for the gift, I’ll be sure to take good care of it. Happy wedding day, and I’m looking forward to better days together!

Wholeheartedly yours,

(Y/N) (L/N)”

Reading through it one last time, you affix your name at the end. “You guys are so sweet,” your youngest bridesmaid gushes as she presses a button on the room’s telephone to request for a butler. “I’m sure the prince will love it.”

“Whatever ‘sweet’ means.” You grimace, your unease getting the better of you. A few moments later, a butler peeks into the room. You bound over to him, placing the present in his hands. “Could you please give this to Prince Satoru?” you asked him and the butler looks slightly bewildered at your choice of words. If it was an order, you could have just said so. Perhaps you were still getting used to the idea of having people waiting to attend to your every beck and call.

“Right away, ma’am,” the butler replies obediently nonetheless. “Also I ran into His Majesty’s chamberlain just a while back and he asked me to remind you of the time. Everything’s ready,” he informs you just as he turns to leave in the direction of the palace’s east wing where Satoru's private chambers are. Upon hearing that, the bridal entourage starts to get ready to leave ahead of you, they’ll be going to the venue with a separate convoy from the bride’s since you’ll be driving through some of Tokyo’s major avenues en route to the cathedral.

You watch as they file out of the room in their cream dresses, each one of them, despite having known you for only a little less than half a day, pull you into a bone-crushing hug wishing you well. “Congratulations, (Y/N).”

“Thank you,” you kindly smiled at each one of them as they left.

When you are left alone to your devices, you take one last look at (though you could hardly recognize yourself) the mirror, swallowing harshly, your hand absentmindedly playing with the locket which you continued to wear, ignoring the gracious advice of the Imperial Household Agency’s grand steward to set it aside for today’s festivities as it was uncustomary for royal brides to wear articles of clothing and accessories that did not hold any relation to the imperial family.

Only thirty minutes to go ‘till everything changes. Wait no, that was grossly inaccurate. Everything changed the split second you laid your eyes on him. Since then, everything seems to be a jumbled haze like some sort of psychedelic trance that just won’t end. Reaching for your phone one last time, you hastily search for a particular contact number, your finger hovering over the call button. No, there’s no point, you sniffle softly. Calling her would only make things harder than it already is and backing out of this now is out of the question.

Another knock is heard on the door, but it isn’t as insistent as the first few ones as everyone was starting to get a bit frustrated at you. Did they think you were stalling for time? “Just a minute,” your voice wavers. You just received a new text message from the number you were planning to call.

“We’ll be moving her in a few hours. Will send you her new room number when we get there.”

Bringing the phone to your lips, your heart makes somersaults in your chest when you receive the news. The sacrifice you were still yet to make has already paid off and your ledger of personal favors crossed out with a red marker effectively completing your transaction with the empress. Without even giving you time to text a quick “thank you”, another urgent knock is heard on the door. “Ms. (Y/N), I’m very sorry to interrupt but, we should get going now.”

“I’ll be right there,” you said again, quickly typing another message on your phone: “I wish I was there with her. Please hold her hand for me.” The second it goes through, you quickly shuffled towards the door, your head bowed in apology. You hold your breath as you balance the tiara on your head hoping that it won’t fall as it hangs precariously off-center on the crown of your head, your eyes trained on the ground as the door slides open. “Sorry about that.”

“No worries, I’m pretty patient. Ijichi, on the other hand? Not so much.”

His voice is feather-soft and melodious like a harp string being plucked delicately so that it produces a clear and deep bell-like sound, the very language he chooses to speak with is devoid of neither a shrill nor sharp word unlike the fusillade of orders you’ve been mercilessly bombarded with this entire day. Walk like this, speak like that, don’t do this, and most certainly never do that, you must have gone through a decade’s worth of rules and regulations to follow during the ceremony and even after you’ve said your “I do”’s. Still, you found solace knowing that Satoru is slowly warming up to the idea of cooperating with you, and has even found it in his heart to give you an olive branch of sorts which was now hooped through your earlobes, sparkling under the light like a clear drop of water from the sky.

At first, you naively think it’s him. Did Satoru really come over to see you? While that seemed uncharacteristic of him, the very thought of him voluntarily visiting you planted a sense of relief in you regardless. Maybe he wanted to settle things before the ceremony, to be upfront with you about his intentions in this marriage, how the two of you will be towards one another going forward, and if your luck holds out, maybe he’d finally let you in on his acts of impropriety with Himiko.

But, you would recognize Satoru’s indifferent timbre anywhere, this voice was far too different and seemed much kinder and softer than your fiancé’s.

You slowly open the door to greet your guest, confirming your suspicions as you meet the gaze of a man you haven’t met before. He seems severely unfamiliar.

No, wait. That can’t be it, he may seem unfamiliar but he’s definitely recognizable. In fact, you’ve seen him a few times before, standing feebly next to your fiance during the emperor’s birthday broadcast. Then, it clicks. Wasn't this…?

“Crown Prince Suguru?” you blinked. He’s the only senior member of the imperial family that you’ve never been officially introduced to. Of course, you are on speaking terms with the emperor, the empress and of course, Satoru, but never the prince that idly lingered in their large shadows.

The raven-haired man chuckles deeply at your shocked expression. Clearly, you didn’t expect to meet him under these circumstances, and that caused you to accidentally refer to him as the Crown Prince when that title only belonged to Gojo. He looks at you endearingly, finding you intriguing.

So this was the woman his younger brother is to be married to. Suguru has heard a lot about Satoru’s docile bride-to-be, in fact, he received news of the engagement while he was in Rome, the last leg of his first solo tour in Europe. People were so quick to label it as a pivotal point in the history of the Japanese monarchy and that you are the symbol of change, specifically, they likened you to a camellia blooming in a sea of chrysanths, a breath of spring in the imperial family’s everwinter – alluring in every sense of the word. But, alluring isn’t exactly a word he’d use to describe you seeing as you’ve only just met but, right now, he found you to be so adorably cute that he might just start to believe the things they say about you on the news.

“It’s just Prince Suguru. Satoru’s the Crown Prince.” The gentle correction makes you so flustered that you feel blood rush up to your ears, a tell-tale sign of your abasement. “But you could just call me Suguru.”

“Oh, right, my mistake,” you rub your eyelid, growing embarrassed. “Prince Suguru,” you stressed his correct title, remedying your earlier mishap. Despite you being in heels, you can’t see past him, given that he towered over you so easily so you stand on your tallest tiptoes, trying to peek over his shoulder. “You haven’t happened to see Mr. Ijichi, have you? He was right outside the door a few minutes ago.”

Suguru buries his hands in his pockets. “He just left, you’re welcome,” he winks at you, having sent Ijichi on his way when he accidentally stumbled across him furiously tapping on your door as he was making his way to his car.

Ijichi was…difficult to get along with — he’s short-fused, demanding at some times, and he is what people could call a stickler for the rules — Suguru isn’t doesn’t really want to say nasty words about his father’s grand steward and he’d give credit where it’s due since Ijichi is not just efficient when it comes to running the imperial household but he is also fiercely dedicated to every member of the imperial family.

Still, he couldn’t count the many times Ijichi had to scold him for all the mischief he caused while he was growing up even if his life depended on it. The worst scolding he got from the older man was when Suguru went missing on his fifth birthday, having snuck out of the banquet hall with at least ten pieces of bread stuffed in his pockets with every intention to feed them to the many ducks in the imperial garden’s ponds.

“What?” your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets, you were going to get an earful later. “You mean he went ahead without me?”

“It’s alright. You’ll see him later, sure he’s probably going to talk your ear off but he means well, trust me,” Suguru flashes you a reassuring smile.

You look at him, your lip curled into an uneasy grin. “That doesn’t sound like fun,” you bemoaned, having had enough reprimands to last you until your next life. “So, with Mr. Ijichi gone, forgive my bluntness, but am I right to assume that Your Highness will be the one to bring me to the cathedral?”

Suguru accommodatingly holds out his arm for you to hold onto. “You assume correctly,” he says warmly. You expect him to hurriedly lead you down the steps leading to the palace’s main driveway, but he does something entirely different. “Are you ready to go or do you still need more time?”

That was the first time anyone in a kilometer-wide radius has asked you what you want to do instead of telling you what to do.

Suguru watches every small change in your expression. He figured that you must be pretty tired of people treating you like some robot, training you to blindly obey every order perfectly. The jet black-haired prince has only known you for two minutes and his heart is already disintegrating for your current predicament of feeling completely and entirely alone. If he could alleviate your troubles even with just a small act of kindness by engaging in polite conversation with you and actually listening to what you have to say instead of talking over you like most of your etiquette coaches have done all day, then, he’ll gladly tune in to listen to you even as you read through an entire book of sonnets if you ever felt up to it.

Being validated comes a long way, and if anyone understands your plight, it was him and even if he didn’t understand, he’ll do everything he can to try regardless.

“I-I’m ready,” you nodded hesitantly and Suguru doesn’t walk ahead right away and allows you to set the pace as you walk past the line of attendants that bowed to you and the prince as you made your way to the imperial family’s very own Toyota Century convertible which had been custom-made for you.

The open top roof gave onlookers access to see their future empress as the motorcade departs from the Kōkyo Imperial Palace and follows a 4.6-kilometer route that will travel to the St. Mary’s Cathedral, the seat of the Roman Catholic archdiocese of Tokyo. Neither you nor Satoru were practicing Catholics yet, the imperial family has decided that a Christian-themed wedding rather than the ancient Buddhist matrimonial ceremony that is usually done away from public view would make the imperial system appear more accessible to the people.

Suguru helps you into the car, gently arranging the train of your gown so that it doesn’t get all wrinkled. “Thank you, Your Highness” you whisper to Suguru who squeezes your free hand as if to say “you’re welcome”. The car’s engine hums to life the minute the two of you are settled in the backseat. “W-what am I supposed to do now?” you asked, readjusting your grip on your bridal bouquet.

The prince lets out a humored snort, having forgotten that this was your first official function. Showing you the correct way to wave and the right angle to face and bow to the crowd, he watches you closely, allowing you to struggle for a bit before stepping in to help with some encouraging words. “Just keep smiling and waving. It’s just like being onstage, you know.” At the center of the motorcade, six police cars patrol every side of the convertible forming a ring of protection just in case someone in the crowd with ill-intentions would try to harm either you or the monarch next to you.

Countless people erupt in happy cheers at the sight of you and Suguru, some are simply content with waving while others are holding up flowers and tossing them to the front of the crowd barriers in jubilation. “It feels a little more intense than just being onstage,” you mumbled, your eyes landing on a little girl sitting in her mother’s arms as she waves a little Japanese flag in her hand which looked like she made it in her arts and craft class. You awkwardly wave at her, chuckling when she happily waves back, delighted to see you directly looking at her.

“Well, you’re doing great.” He inches closer to you, wrapping a steadying arm around your waist while the other guides your hand, gently angling it in a more prominent position so that you look a little more assertive. “Like this,” Suguru helps you wave in a more continuous manner, teaching you to center the motion by keeping your elbow mostly stationary and allowing only your wrist to subtly move from side to side. “And keep doing what you’re doing. Make eye contact with them; make them understand that you see each and every one of them.”

Suguru watches you bow and wave to the spectators with a proud smile on his face; the motorcade has now reached the Shinjuku area and is nearing its destination of Bunkyo-ku where the cathedral is and even still, the crowd doesn’t appear to thin out. Suguru feels like he’s watching history unfold before his very eyes. He wonders if Satoru had purposefully chosen a commoner to conjure up a classic “love conquers all” romance of his own wedding day, if he did, then Suguru must congratulate him for a job well done. No one has ever come out to see a member of the imperial family in this sheer number, he daresay, not even the empress on her wedding day or His Majesty on his coronation day.

But with you, this day is nothing short of a revolution.

“Your Highness, you’re staring.” Suguru hums, confused, before realizing that he’s been looking at you funny. “You’re still staring,” you said succinctly.

“Oh, sorry.” Suguru says awkwardly and you couldn’t help but let out a slight snort. “What?” he cocks his head in your direction. You were laughing, though brief, the very sound of it brings a smile to his face. “It was about time though. We’ve been in this car for more than fifteen minutes now and that right there is the first genuine act of happiness I’ve seen you make,” he remarks. He was starting to think that you were incapable of smiling which he found a little unsettling since brides aren’t exactly despondent during their wedding day. Of course, what would he know? His little brother had gotten married ahead of him.

You crinkle your nose in mock displeasure. “That’s kinda mean and probably the last thing I’d say to someone I just met…with all due respect, Your Highness.”

Suguru grins at your tiny jab at his character, and to think that he nearly bought into the whole “as demure as a butterfly” thing they said about you in the papers. Make no mistake though, he sees how elegantly ladylike you are, but he also sees how you are so effortlessly spellbinding with your wit translated into a few short but sweet words. No wonder Satoru fell for you and even gave up his vice-like romance with his chief-of-staff to marry you, he thinks to himself. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry that was a bit uncalled for.”

“Oh— Your Highness, I was just joking.” You waved to the crowd of people on Suguru’s side of the car, grimacing when you see a few schoolboys, probably university students with how tall and mature they looked, pretend to blow you kisses. Indulging them, you subtly return the gesture flustered beyond all measure. Everything feels so public now, and you are left wondering about how you could survive the rest of your life like this.

“…I knew that.” Choosing momentary silence, Suguru finally decides to chip away at the facade you were putting up. He could see it in your eyes, you were a cross between scared and unhappy which is clearly normal for someone who is marrying into the oldest monarchy in the world. You weren’t at all what the members of the Imperial Household Agency said of you when you were out of earshot: a sorry excuse of a future empress who is privileged in every way but can’t find it within herself to stop her endless complaining. “Just trying to make you smile, that’s all.”

Shouldn’t your future husband be doing that? You sighed. Oh right, he was probably busy comforting Himiko. She probably needed him now more than ever after everything you’ve done to torment her. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

“Suguru,” he corrects kindly. “If you’re going to marry my little brother, you could, at least, drop the troublesome title when you’re talking to me.”

Little brother? How have you never heard of this before? You knew Satoru had a brother, but you never thought Suguru would be the older one out of the two of them. If that was the case, then, why didn’t he get the title of “Crown Prince”?

“Weird, huh?” He breaks you out of your trance, as if he heard the question swirling around in your head. “Why is Satoru the Crown Prince and not me?”

“Are you psychic or something?” you playfully teased, slowly growing more comfortable with the jet black-haired prince that sported an Apollo-like smile - warm, and inviting. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

Suguru shrugs. “Why? Whose mind do you want to read?”

Satoru’s, you smiled sadly. Maybe by unraveling the inner machinations of your soon-to-be husband’s mind, you could learn to meet him halfway by understanding him a little better; no person is born inherently cruel and while you had your doubts, you know, in your heart, that Satoru is no exception to that rule. “No one in particular.”

“Ah, well, I expected that.” He grinned at how guarded you are, reclining against the plush seat of the car to rest his stiffening back for a minute. The convoy is about ten minutes away from the cathedral now.

You offered him some consolation though, grateful for this light-hearted chat. “Let’s just trade answers next time.”

“I’ll hold you to it.”

Himiko thought this day would be horrible but it turns out it isn’t as bad as she pessimistically thought. If she only knew that this was how the love of her life’s wedding would go with him still inviting her to his bed before he gets hitched off, then, maybe she shouldn’t have been so awful towards you who never stood a chance against her. Competing with you would be like making a rival of a rat; it would be unnecessary trouble. Still, even if she had all but won against you (as if you were worthy enough to even become her opponent), that didn’t stop the Zenin clan’s little darling from causing a little trouble today.

Her eyes flutter open to reveal Gojo’s handsome slumbering face, utterly spent from their lovemaking session, their naked forms still entangled together under the cotton-percale sheets. She stretches her supple body luxuriously, and pulls away from Satoru’s embrace earning a small “mmph” of disapproval from her lover. Giggling, she plants a soft kiss on his chiseled cheek.

“Your Highness?” Someone says from behind the door. Taking one last look at Satoru’s sleeping form, she walks leisurely to answer it, clad only in the prince’s shirt which ran above her knee.

Leaning against the door, she answers for the prince, a detestable act similar to a cardinal sin. It was forbidden for a mere servant to speak for any member of the imperial family. In the past, in the Japanese empire’s golden age, a servant who took the words out of their master’s mouth would have their tongue swiftly sliced off. But Himiko is not a servant, nor is she subject to the rules as long as the prince was around. “His Highness is asleep.”

On his wedding day? The butler nods stiffly. “I see. Ms. Zenin, can I trouble you with this? The prince’s fiancé has sent him a wedding gift.”

Himiko doesn’t answer for a long while and a tense silence fills the room. “Fine, but have you done what I asked?” she relents opening the door, the butler’s face turns red at the sight of her lack of modesty. “Having you run my errands isn’t cheap, you know.”

The attendant bows his head, “Yes. She’s currently wearing it right now, last I saw.”

“Good. I’ll be taking this then.” She shakes the box to get a feel of what’s inside, not that it would be anything of high value though given its cheap sender.

Curiosity gets the better of her and she succinctly opens the gift, her eyebrow quirked. A watch. Very typical. She notes how it’s made out of silver and she scoffs harshly. Even if she didn’t chuck it into the trash, Satoru would have done it himself since he prefers gold pieces over silver and he most certainly wouldn’t want to touch anything that was from you given how he loathed the very idea of you.

The attendant gulps when he sees Himiko harshly discard your gift. “Ms. Zenin, don’t you think that giving her that would be taking it too far? You know how the Crown Prince feels about those earrings. If he ever were to find out that it had gone missing…”

She turns her head in the direction of the bed where Gojo was currently tossing and turning in his sleep. “Then, I’ll tell His Highness that his chief butler,” her eyes were aglow with cunning as the butler trembled slightly at her murderous gaze. “Is a thief who stole from the imperial vaults, and if you ever decide to rat me out, who do you think the prince will believe? A nameless no account like you or me?”

It slowly registers in the attendant’s mind that he had been utterly played when Himiko asked him to give those earrings to you via an under the table agreement, it’s not like Satoru prepared a wedding gift for you anyway thinking that showing up to the accursed wedding in itself is a generous gift already. “…You used me…!” he whispers angrily, not wanting to rouse the prince.

Himiko shrugs nonchalantly. “And you were stupid enough to be used for a few banknotes. Now get lost, I’ll just inform His Highness of your voluntary resignation tomorrow morning.”

She closes the door on the rattled servant and saunters back over to the bed, slipping back under the sheets. Satoru sleepily notices the bed dip with her weight, and unconsciously snuggles closer to her, his arms wrapped around her form. She lovingly strokes his disheveled hair alternating between twirling his locks in her index finger and massaging his scalp as if she hadn’t just ruined a man’s life two minutes ago. Her hands reach for the phone on the nightstand and she scrolls through her feed watching a video of the bridal car pulling up to the cathedral.

She boredly watches you step out of the car with your hand looped through Suguru’s arm shyly waving to the thousands happily anticipating this glorious day while your bridesmaids help you with your wedding gown’s train so it doesn’t snag across the concrete steps. It takes about five minutes for the cathedral’s towering doors to open and she smirks when she sees you slowly make your way inside, completely oblivious to the fact that your groom is not at the end of the aisle where you expected him to be and is instead still soundly asleep next to her.

The silence that follows is indicative of the horrific scene that greeted you and Himiko switches off her phone, settling back into the pillows contentedly. Serves you right, (Y/N), she smirks.

12:30 PM.

Funny how you think that you’re immune to awful things that happen to other people…before it happens to you. There’ve been hundreds of stories like this before, but you never thought that you’d find yourself in the long list of unfortunate jilted brides. Your hands tremble as you hold your bouquet of white calla lilies and baby’s breaths. Surely you must have gone blind or something or this was all some sick dream, you desperately search the cathedral room with abject horror in your eyes. It couldn’t be…you take an uneasy step toward the witness as your wedding guests whisper amongst themselves, their hearts filled to the brim with condolences for you.

Something in you jeeringly mocks you as if to chide you for living too long in the forest of your fantasy, dodging every pocket of reality’s sunlight as it shines through the many trees you’ve cultivated with your delusions that this…whatever the hell this is…could miraculously work out in the end. That you stood a chance against all the cards that were catastrophically stacked against you, and that he could give you even just a scintilla of respect if it was truly impossible for him to ever learn to love you.

“Suguru,” you instinctively clutch his hand as if by him squeezing your hand back, you could miraculously be put together again. You were so heartbroken that you didn't even realize that you just called him by his name, forgoing the mention of his venerable title. “…I-I…” you gulp as you feel the dreaded words lodge deep in your throat, clogging your airways with uncried sobs.

“Oh, (Y/N), I’m so sorry…”

“…Where’s Satoru?”

water’s edge taglist: @dummyf @kentokaze @esthelily @mandysfanfics @userbananababes @strawberryjimin13 @snowprincesa1 @naturallyspontaneous @kooromin @gojoist @dcvilxswish @13-09-01 @peachipeachy @iluv-ace @sawendel @helloitsshitzulover @jjuniescuderia @ackermendick @starrylibras @timetobegone @heelariously @idktbhloley @jeon-blue @8aif9sgbsnn @purpleguk @rednezvous @yeseurri @floralsightings @yoheyyosup @dontwannacry04 @dragonladyy

REBLOGS AND INTERACTIONS IS WHAT KEEPS AUTHORS GOING SO SHOW SOME LOVE ✨💕 mwah! see you all in episode 2.5!

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。what if you’re someone i just want around (i’m falling again)

synopsis. somewhere along the line, you started to hate suguru—that doesn’t mean you stopped loving him too

— word count. 9.5k (i am in misery)

— contents. post canon! au — fix it! (we all need a good fix it fic with suguru don't lie), this fic was started before recent manga chapters so the higher ups are still alive—just go with it ok :,), geto survives + lives free of kenjaku, exes to lovers, kind of redemption i suppose, mentions of blood, injuries, and weight loss (geto), mentions of canon character deaths (nanako, mimiko, nanami), mentions of wanting to raise children with geto and have a family, no gendered terms but reader has a personality and actual thoughts and feelings, references to the hunger games (you have movie night lol), BFF satoru (he is babie), there is a kiss y’all !! (scandalous i know :O)

— notes. i started this fic back in march and i had trouble with it and put it on pause for a while. i’m very glad i finished it in the end. i always like fix it! fics and this is self-indulgent and idk if ppl will read it bc it’s sfw but it’s ok if they don’t, i loved writing it. thank you koi for beta-reading this whole bad boy. mwah <333

the day suguru is declared a free man is actually the day he signs away his freedom for good. 

you say nothing, but you know it’s the truth. satoru fights tooth and nail to plead suguru’s case—you think it’s perhaps a little too desperate for it to be in the best interest of suguru and not himself. but satoru has suffered enough, and admittedly—although you deny it—a small part of you does not want to lose suguru twice. you watch as satoru argues that suguru has already died once—surely he can’t die again? and losing control of his body and mind is paying for his crimes enough, is it not? he argues that there are no ideals left for a man like geto suguru to chase after losing himself to every principle he had left. 

and then satoru wins. 

you expect it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. you watch numbly as suguru is assigned under your watch. you should be happy. you love suguru—you never stopped. but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s not a free man, and now he drags your freedom with his. you’ll never break away from him, never cut through the ropes that tie your hands behind your back and bind you to him—and then you wonder for a moment, unsure if it’s selfish or selfless or some cruel in-between to think this way, if geto suguru was better off dead. 

whether that’s for your sake, or his, you’re not sure. 

and yes, he’s let off alive, and sure, there’s no real punishment for all he’s done, but you know deep down he’s as chained and shackled as he’s ever been. he’s not allowed to leave the house unless you or satoru are there to chaperone, and it’s never to be anywhere near non-sorcerers. he’s not to live in a place of his own until the higher up’s deem him trustworthy. he has to ask you to buy the things he wants from the grocery store. he can’t even step outside for a smoke unless you’re aware. 

for a long time, he doesn’t speak much—can hardly muster a barely audible mornin’ back when you force a smile and greet him cheerily for breakfast. slowly, it turns into half-snarky conversations that get cut short by one of you leaving the room. finally, you’re civil—maybe even friendly. you’re not so sure where you stand with him as of now.

it’s not the same suguru you remember falling in love with, it’s not even close to the version of the man you fell for all those years ago. it’s hard having him here—some days you’re angry and want to throw him out, to scream at him for haunting you again just when you think you’ve moved on from the horrors of your past. some days you want to cry and cling to him, bury your face into his neck and thank him for being here again, for finding his way back to you. and some days you wish you never met him at all, that this would all be easier if it didn’t exist in the first place. 

he’s not the same geto suguru you loved, but somehow, because life is as bitter as it is ruthless, you fall in love with this version just as hard no matter how much you deny it. 

“i made your favorite,” you smile gently, placing a neat plate of french toast with freshly cut strawberries on the side. you even take great care to get the syrup-to-powdered sugar ratio he likes right, but he doesn’t make a move to reach for the plate. instead, suguru sits at the table stiffly, like he has to be here or there are consequences for that too. it almost makes you sad—even here, he’s not free. 

“thanks,” he says quietly, “but i’m not hungry.”

“you said that last night, suguru,” you sigh, “and at lunch. and at breakfast. and at dinner the night before—”

“i’ll eat it later,” he cuts you off, playing with the ends of his hair. 

it’s a lot shorter now. it’s you who finds his body battered and bruised after the smoke clears. he’s almost unrecognizable, not the same charming and perfect suguru you’re used to seeing. not the same silkened strands and smooth skin, not the same muscled and toned body, not the same chiseled jaw and soft cheeks. instead, he’s a shell of himself. his hair is matted in knots, his body is almost frail, and you notice the sunken hollows of his cheeks and dark undereyes as you lift him from the rubble a little too easily. but his body is his own—that much you can tell from the way the stitches have disappeared. 

it takes shoko a long time to nurse him back to health—it takes even longer for him to open his eyes.

you waited day and night by his side, hand over his as he breathed slowly, unconscious and unsuspecting. it would be so easy, you think one night, it would be so easy to kill him and forget and move on. 

you’ve already grieved him once before. you’ve felt and conquered the pain of loving geto suguru and losing him first to himself and then to death. but love is as selfish as it is selfless, and it’s under your mercy that you let him live—yet it’s under your cowardice that you keep him close. 

“you have to gain back the weight you lost, suguru,” you sigh, “you’re w—”

“weak?” he finishes for you, eyeing you for a second and then grinning. it’s unsettling, a grin that makes your skin crawl and your heart stop for a moment before he’s reaching for the fork and stabbing into his toast. “is that what you wanted to say? that i’m weak?”

“suguru, you know that’s not how i meant—”

“you’re not wrong,” he hums, chewing on the first bite as he speaks, “i suppose i am pretty weak right now, huh? couldn’t even kill you in your sleep if i tried could i?”

your throat is dry as you shrug, “i suppose not,” you whisper. 

“ah,” he grins again, “but that doesn’t stop you from locking your door every night, does it?” 

suguru is still healing. his body is weak, and sometimes, he leans against the wall as he walks. his arm is healed—you’re not entirely sure how, but you catch him rolling the shoulder out every now and then like it’s sore and stiff. he’s lost a lot of weight—part of it is from being bedridden for as long as he was, injured and half alive, and part of it is from barely eating—save for the few bites you force into him. you never thought there’d be a day when you could say this—but the odds of you beating suguru in hand-to-hand combat are high, and the reality is an everlasting reminder that he is not who you fell for. 

you swallow, letting out a shaky breath as he watches you closely, diligently cutting another bite from the french toast sitting on his plate as he stares you down like he can see past your soul. you don’t know what’s scarier—that suguru can still practically see yours, or that you’re unsure he even has one anymore. 

“you tried coming in?” you ask, unsure what else to say. he merely shrugs, takes another bite, and sets his fork down. 

“thought i’d check on you,” he pops a strawberry half into his mouth as he speaks.

“is that what it really was?” you raise a brow, “or was i right to lock the door?”

you’re not sure why you lock the door at night. maybe it’s because you don’t trust him, or maybe it’s because you don’t want him near you just yet. you’re not sure. you’re not sure how satoru can go back to his cheery self, how he can step through your door and boom a loud yo, suguru! before settling beside suguru on the couch with his feet on the coffee table as he rambles away. maybe it’s not real—maybe it’s satoru desperately pretending that if he tries hard enough, things can go back to how they were. 

but you don’t know how he still has the energy to try, and you don’t know if you have it in you to try anymore yourself. 

you and suguru stare each other down like that for a bit, the tension rising with every silent second that passes. you’re sure he doesn’t want to be here as much as you don’t want him around—but you’re also sure he’s glad it’s here with you as much as you’re glad it’s with no one else.

“you tell me,” he smirks after a bit, the hint of amusement making your fists clench. how dare he have the audacity to look at you like that in your own home? like he has the upper hand over you without trying? “what do you think i was there for?”

“i think you should stay in your room, suguru,” you say carefully, “i bought a new bed just for that room.”

“how sweet of you,” he hums. he sips the tea before him—it’s cold by now, but it’s just how he likes it, rose with one sugar. “you must have been excited to have me.”

“hardly,” you mumble bitterly—you can’t help it. you want him to feel hurt, even just a little. you want him to know that just because he’s back, it doesn’t mean you’ve waited all this time for him to be. liar, a part of you says, you’ve always waited for him, haven’t you? but suguru doesn’t seem phased—he doesn’t even blink.

“then tell me, why am i here?” suguru asks, his tone is as casual as ever. 

i wish i knew, you want to say. i wish i knew but i don’t.

“because satoru asked you to be,” is all you can say.

he nods, pushing back his plate and standing up, offering you that same grin. “you’re right,” he hums, “that’s exactly why i’m here.”

it hits you why his smile is so unsettling once he leaves—it’s almost genuine, like he’s still loved you all this time. impossible, you tell yourself. suguru stopped loving you a long time ago. and you need to stop trying to figure out why. 

————————————————

even despite telling yourself you don’t care what suguru thinks, a small part of you needs to prove to him you’re not scared of him. that you don’t fear for your own safety in your home, and that him being here is not some form of him haunting you. you don’t care. he shouldn’t get the luxury of thinking you care. he can come in and watch you sleep like the creep he is if he wants—you couldn’t bother to give it a second thought. 

the first night you take a chance and leave the door unlocked, suguru slips into bed beside you. it wakes you up instantly, and before you can question it, his head tucks into your neck, and his hand grasps your shirt tightly. you notice the panting almost instantly—and then you realize, it must be a nightmare. 

you fall into old habits, even after all these years, defaulting to care for him like it’s second nature. 

“you’re safe, suguru,” is what you settle for saying after a moment of contemplation. it’s all you can really think to say, so you brush your lips over the top of his head as you murmur, “you’re safe,” over and over again. 

as difficult as it is to have suguru around, as painful and cruel and aggravating as it is to be reminded of his distant existence even as he’s two doors down, this part feels natural. it’s almost like you’re back in jujutsu high, waking up to him sneaking into your room as he presses his weight over your body and wakes you with soft kisses along your face. 

except this time, he’s not annoyingly demanding cuddles or telling you about his weird dream, he’s not stealing your blanket and demanding you play with his hair. this time, it’s not the same suguru—and this time, it’s not jujutsu high. 

it’s your room. the one you got on the other side of town to leave the sorcery world behind, somehow still stuck right in the center of it no matter where you go. and yet, just like all those years ago, your legs tangle, and your arms wrap him up, and you murmur, “you’re safe,” while he catches his breath. 

“but they’re not,” he mutters in between labored pants, making you pause. 

and then you remember. 

faintly, you recall the blonde and black hair from a distance, you remember bitterly wondering what’d it be like watching suguru fathering children of your own as you came to the reality that it would never happen. sometimes, you wonder if you hate nanako and mimiko for existing, for living as the dreams you never got to live through with suguru. 

it’s selfish—to hate two children because they are what you do not have. 

but then you feel something wet hit your neck, and then you wish they were okay—for his sake. and just for a moment, you’re selfless again. 

“they’re not safe,” he mutters, making you sigh. 

“they are,” you whisper, hesitating for a moment before letting your fingers slip into his hair. you scratch gently at his scalp, feeling his body melt into yours almost instantly—like it’s a response that’s natural to him. “they’re not suffering. not anymore.”

“is that supposed to make me feel better?” he scoffs. you shrug, letting your cheek press against the top of his head as you sigh.

“it helps me feel better,” you say softly, “‘s just how you learn to cope.”

it’s an understanding you both silently come to. loss on both sides. bloodshed on either ground. defeat no matter which ideal you take. to love is to bear the pain of mortality—it’s a lesson that you never cease to learn until the ends of time itself. 

“the jujutsu world is one of suffering,” he grits, sniffling into your neck. you hum, pressing a kiss to his head as your eyes close. 

“every world is one of suffering, suguru, you can’t erase them all. the sooner you realize that, the easier you’ll find peace.”

you fall into a slumber after that, faintly aware of the way he shuffles closer to you, faintly aware of the soft kiss pressed to your skin as sleep takes over your body and drifts you out of consciousness. 

when you wake up the next morning, suguru is gone, and the door is closed. the blanket is tucked up to your chin, and your neck still tingles from last night. 

————————————————

“get up,” you throw a pillow at suguru, waking him up with a start as he sits up. his hair is tousled and messy from sleep—it’s now long enough that he can put it in a bun without strands slipping from the bottom anymore. you chuckle as he glares at you, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he groans. 

“the fuck was that for?” he grunts, holding the blanket up to cover his exposed chest. 

it’s funny that he does that, in a way. it’s not as though you haven’t seen his chest…and then some too. it’s not like you haven’t torn his shirt off to stanch the flow of blood from his injuries before or feel the bare skin with your palm under the pale moonlight as the lingering scent of sex breezes through the room. 

but somehow, even though he doesn’t need to cover his chest around you of all people, you’re glad that he does. truthfully, it keeps you slightly comforted to know that he’s aware you’re still technically strangers—no matter how well-versed you are in each other’s pasts. but you don’t ponder on it too much. instead, you grin, shoving aside the visual of the small glance you caught at his pecs, and you clap your hands to motion him to hurry. 

“we are going grocery shopping,” you say casually—as though it’s not something to make him raise a brow in shock.

“me?” he points a finger at himself. you roll your eyes, and he challenges you with another raise of his brow. “aren’t i supposed to stay away from civilians?”

“yes, you,” you nod, pointing back at him, “and satoru has worked overtime to get you granted permission to roam around with me. he says you’re welcome, by the way.”

“tell him to go fuck off.”

“that’s ungrateful,” you say flatly, “his feelings will be hurt.”

“his feelings will find a way to cope,” suguru huffs. “i don’t want to be around…them,” he says bitterly. 

you suppose it’s wishful thinking to hope suguru has let go of his past beliefs. perhaps he’s long abandoned the possibility of the vision he once planned on bringing to life, but you can’t say you expected him to revert back to the old suguru who fought alongside you and satoru. you yourself certainly have no intention of returning to the sorcery world after all the events, so you can’t say you’re shocked by the lack of change he seems to show. but then again, you suppose suguru has changed. whether he sees it or not. 

he stays here and doesn’t put up a fight to leave even though he can now that he’s healed. he eats lunch when you tell him and even washes the dishes. sometimes, when you come home a bit late, dinner is even ready on the table as he sits and stares at you expectantly. his plate is empty like yours—like he’s been waiting for you even though he doesn’t need to. you suppose you can see he’s changed in the way he doesn’t scoff at the tv channels you surf through, he silently sits on the opposite end of the couch now and watches with you, and perhaps if you’re lucky, you’ll hear a light chuckle or a quiet sigh as the scenes roll on the screen. 

you suppose this suguru is a step closer to your suguru every day he spends with you, but you don’t know if any suguru is what you need right now. perhaps that name should’ve been buried away as a distant memory, perhaps it should’ve only been something you unlock once every year on his death anniversary—when satoru clambers through your door drunk and unsteady as he clutches the hand that killed his best friend, only to share pancakes with you in the morning and pretend like you don’t notice the dried tears on his cheeks while he acts like he doesn’t catch the way your hand shakes as you cut into your breakfast. 

but suguru is here now. whether it’s as geto, one half of the strongest duo in jujutsu high, whether it’s as suguru, the love of your life and the sole reason you exist, or whether it’s as geto suguru, the curse user and mass murderer who haunts your past, present, and everything in between. 

so you simply sigh, grab the pillow again, and hit the top of his head before walking over to the door as you call over your shoulder, “i’m gonna wait for you by the door in fifteen minutes. be ready or face the consequences..”

“no thanks. don’t wanna,” suguru grumbles petulantly, frowning at you as you stick your tongue at him, smirking as if you’ve just played your ace. 

“too bad,” you sing before swinging the door shut.

he’s at the door in exactly fifteen minutes, like he waited until the last possible second to join you as a move of spite. but you simply gesture him out the door and lock up, taking your sweet time as he stands there with an annoyed face. you stare at the doorknob once you’re done, taking a deep breath before turning to him with your best smile. 

“let’s go,” you hum.

“after you,” he mutters.

—

he grimaces as soon as he sees the people going about their business, clearly unhappy with the idea of being around non-sorcerers, but one sharp glare from you has him sighing and trekking along. the grocery store, admittedly, is not as bad as suguru thinks—in fact, there are lots of things he doesn’t realize he misses until he watches you grab a shopping cart. 

suddenly, he sees shadows. the silhouette of your figure climbing into the cart, the angry wave of satoru’s hands as he claims it's his turn to be pushed around, the figure of shoko pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation from the back—and then, he sees the dark shadow of baggy pants and a small bun. it’s him. suguru watches himself almost in slow motion through the remnants of his imagination as he gently shoves satoru out of the way and reaches to poke the tip of your nose before he pushes the cart with you in it.  

it’s a happy memory—and it’s gone all too soon.

as soon as he blinks, the shadows have disappeared—instead, it’s you waving a hand in his face, concern written on your features as you call his name. 

“suguru? hey, hello? are you with me?”

he exhales, pulled from his trance as he gently grabs your wrist from in front of his face and sets it down as he nods, “yeah, i’m fine. just thinking,” he mumbles. 

for a second, you hesitate, like you almost mean to say something. but in the end, you only nod before turning to grab the shopping cart. but he stops you—grabs the handle and turns to you with a small smile on his face, making you raise a brow as he gently moves you away. 

“what are you—”

“get in,” he grins, making you stare at him in bewilderment. 

“what?”

“just get in,” he sighs, “you love it when you get to sit in the cart.”

“i’m not a teenager anymore—”

“get in, will you?” he groans, “always so damn difficult.”

“hey,” you pout, glaring at him with your hands planted at your hips, “that’s rude.” it’s cute. suguru stares at you with amusement in his eyes and a soft look on his face that you don’t think you’ve really seen in years. 

“humor me,” he hums, “just get in, okay?”

so you do. 

with a huff and a grumble under your breath, you fight back a smile and climb into the damn cart just like old times. you swallow and try not to let it get to you when he reaches over and pokes the tip of your nose and pushes the cart around, letting you name off the things you need from your list while he grabs them. and when he sneaks snacks into the pile, you roll your eyes and glare at him in the way you always did—the one that isn’t actually annoyed. fond. happy to let it slide because it’s him.

“we need candy,” you murmur, “that’s the last thing on the list.”

“okay. what kind?” he asks, turning the cart into the candy aisle and smiling softly down at you.

“doesn’t matter, satoru eats anything as long as it’s sweet. he’s more likely to die from sugar than fighting a curse, i think.”

“you buy candy for satoru?” he asks, making you shrug as you reach over and grab a few bags of candy off the shelves, setting them down beside you. 

“he comes over a lot so i learned to keep stuff stocked up for him. you know how he gets when he’s hungry.”

suguru feels something he hasn’t felt since he was a teenager. jealousy—specifically of satoru. 

suguru is not foolish. he knows as soon as he meets gojo satoru that of the two, one of them is stronger and it’s definitely not himself. for the longest time, he’s okay with that, okay being the strongest only when alongside satoru—until he’s not. and even if suguru always had a bit more attention in the romance department than satoru, in his head he’s always known that perhaps satoru can keep you safer, more well off, maybe even happier. with smooth smiles and eyes as welcoming as an oasis, gojo satoru would never leave you in the dark pit of misery as suguru once had. 

something about the thought of you and satoru keeping each other company through the lonely years, filling that empty spot suguru left behind, sharing moments over candy and empty wrappers makes suguru wonder for a moment if perhaps he’d be happier if he stayed. maybe he could have worn a heartfelt smile in a world that carves them off the faces of sorcerers with bloody knives as long as you were there to wipe the blood.  

but before he can dwell on it, you snatch one more bag—this time of his favorite candy, placing it into the cart and grinning gently up at him. 

“i haven’t bought this one in years,” you admit, “i almost forget how it tastes.”

“me too,” he says quietly.

“well,” you hum, “we’ll have to have some when we’re home.”

home. you say it as though it belongs to him as much as it does you, and then like you always have, without even meaning to, you wash away the dark stains of his jealousy with no trace left behind.

“yeah,” he chuckles, “we—”

“daddy, look! candy!” suguru is cut off by the gentle pitter-patter of two tiny feet running into the aisle, pointing at a bag of candy as a man follows close behind. 

his breath hitches. 

she’s small, the girl—she has two pigtails with soft strands of blonde hair falling out of the loosely tied bands. it reminds suguru of the first time he perfected tying up nanako’s hair, the soft giggles behind her tiny hand as she twirled in the mirror. 

there’s another girl in the man’s arms—dark hair on her head as she curls into her father’s chest and tucks her head into his neck when she sees you and suguru in the aisle. she’s shy, he realizes, like mimiko, and suddenly he remembers the tiny fingers that used to hook into his pants when she got too overwhelmed by the people around her, waiting for suguru to scoop her into his arms. 

perhaps in another life, suguru would redo everything differently—he’d be happy with you and satoru and shoko, and nanami and haibara would be there too, well and alive. but no matter what, he’d never redo nanako and mimiko differently. he’d never change a thing about them, not even the way nanako whines too much about small things or the way mimiko never speaks up even when something is clearly bothering her. he’d never change the way he saved them and took them in at the tender age of eighteen, too lost to be a father but choosing to raise them anyway. he’d never change the feeling of pure joy and unbridled pride when they climbed into his bed for the first time, shushing each other so as not to wake him—even though he’d awoken as soon as the door to his room opened. 

because he realized that night that yeah, maybe he’d made mistakes in his lifetime, lots of them too. maybe he’d made a bad choice choosing the path he did, or maybe he didn’t. he’s never been completely sure—just that he had to try at least to make his vision for a different world come to life. but one mistake he never made was his girls. one thing he was always sure about was the soft clutch at his pants and the tiny hands reaching for his own.

suguru wouldn’t change anything about nanako and mimiko—except maybe the fact that they aren’t here, gone because of him. 

“suguru?” you ask softly, reaching for his hand as he grips the cart tightly and pulling his gaze away from the family in the distance. 

he blinks, meets your eyes, and knows that you know. with one glance at your face, he knows you understand. the world is cruel, one filled with suffering, he thinks. but then he remembers what you said, that every world is full of suffering, not just his—that it’s a truth he has to come face to face with.

but it’s hard. it’s hard when this man has his two little girls and suguru does not—it’s hard to watch someone have what he wants with no worries of losing it, all because of people and their own weaknesses. he thinks for a moment that he’s been right all along—that non-sorcerers are too weak for this life, that the jujutsu world has always suffered so they don’t have to. 

but then the man speaks up, catching both of your attention. 

“your mother used to love those,” he says quietly to his daughter, a pained smile on his face. instantly, you and suguru both seem to understand the weight of that single sentence. 

every world has its own pain, suguru realizes. its own cruelties and unfairness, its own way of bringing suffering in its wake as it rips away the things closest to you from your begging fingertips, leaving them cold and empty and numb from the lost weight underneath them. 

“let’s go, suguru,” you whisper, “we have everything we came for.”

“yeah,” he whispers back, clearing his throat so his voice doesn’t crack, “let’s go.”

suguru leaves the grocery store with you after you pay, and for a brief moment, he’s unsure. unsure whether he’s grateful to satoru for fighting for him to be able to come and grateful to you for dragging him along, or if he wishes he died along with the rubble, gone before you could find him and turn him into this.

“before you even think about hiding away in your room,” you say, grabbing the bags from the cart as you put it back where it belongs, “you have to help with putting away the groceries.”

“sure,” he says smoothly. he grabs all the heavy bags from your hand, and you make a move to protest that you don’t need him to take the heavier ones, that you’re fine and can handle them like you’ve always handled them. 

but he walks off, and finally, you decide to simply follow.

————————————————

satoru likes to come and visit—you’ve started a routine movie night every week (unless he’s away, of course.) it’s fun, but it also means he makes your veins pop because he’s a headache like that—always makes himself right at home and eats your snacks like this is his place and not yours. he helps himself to your already limited candy and puts his sock-clad feet up on the coffee table no matter how many times you tell him not to. 

you try sitting with legs as long as these, he always whines, earning a harsh glare from you as you smack at his shins until he ultimately caves and begrudgingly sets his feet down. 

but then they always make their way back up to the coffee table, and you’re too busy enjoying his company to care—although you’ll never admit it. 

satoru is endearing like that, swallowing the dark clouds from your shoulders whole and eating up your burdens with that side of responsibility that you don’t think you could ever stomach. satoru is just like that, you realize, taking the brunt of the weight and laughing off every concern until you can’t help but not take them seriously yourself. 

it’s hard to remember that sometimes you didn’t just lose suguru, the love of your life, that night. everyone lost something. shoko lost someone to smoke with, yaga lost a student to scold, nanami lost a headache to avoid, and satoru?

well…satoru lost what you think might’ve been the only filled void of his miserably empty life. 

it’s hard to remember that satoru lost his best friend—the only best friend he’s ever had (although you like to think of yourself as a close contender)—because he’s so good at letting you forget. he brings you ice cream (that he eats half of because it’s only fair he gets a share), and he sits and hogs your couch (that he argues you don’t really need as much space as him on because your legs aren’t as long), and he watches those stupid sitcoms that are dry with boring jokes (that you used to make suguru watch back in the day).

it’s hard to remember that satoru also lost as much as you because he’s so damn good at making you forget about your own loss, you don’t care to think about anyone else’s for a while. just a short while. just until he’s yawning that obnoxiously loud yawn and stretching those awkwardly long limbs of his before he claims he really should go and that being the world’s best teacher requires as many hours of beauty sleep as you can squeeze in. 

and then he’s off. and it’s empty again. and just like that, you’re reminded of why he was there in the first place—to fill in that sick and painful void that geto suguru left in you. 

it’s gaping, like he tore a chunk of you right out with sharp teeth, like you’re just a piece of meat for him to get his fill of. if suguru really loved you, would you be so easy to let go of? why couldn’t he smile? because you could—god, you could smile just from the sight of him alone, you realize a long time ago. him with his cigarette tucked between his lips, those death sticks as you called them, hung loosely from his mouth as he gives you a lopsided grin. 

geto suguru is enough of a reason to smile. the world could crumble at your feet and leave you with nothing but rubble and dirt, and still, suguru is the core of the earth you’re searching for. 

so why couldn’t you be the same? what is it you were missing? what about you was just not enough for him like the way he was enough for you? 

it dawns on you one night, through bitter tears and shaky sobs, and that sick, twisted, pleading feeling in your gut that begs the wind to carry him back to you—geto suguru has never loved you the way you loved him.

and for that, you can never forgive him, you don’t think.

“you tryin’ to go bug-eyed?” he asks, settling down on the couch next to you, making you snap out of your trance. you shake your head a little, stare back at him for a moment before putting on that look on your face where you roll your eyes and pretend everything is fine.

“no,” you huff, “i’m just thinking.”

“about…?”

“satoru has rarely ever missed a movie night.”

“maybe he’s sick of you,” he shrugs, grinning slyly at you as you narrow your eyes with a glare, “there’s someone here to keep you company now so he’s probably taken his opportunity to run.”

“you’re hardly company,” you scoff, “freeloader.”

“hey,” he defends, shrugging as if it’s not his fault. you suppose it’s not. “i didn’t ask to be rescued. you can’t be high and mighty and petty. ‘s not how that works.”

“says who? you don’t make the rules. i can be graciously kind and a jerk all at once.”

“complexity,” he nods, “i like it.”

“i’m not as complicated as you might think,” you grumble, crossing your arms as you stare at the time. yeah, satoru isn’t making it—which, he told you as much, but he’s strolled in at the last second too many times to count before. you figure today would be the same. “as long as you don’t skip movie nights with me, i’m pretty simple to keep appeased.”

“alright,” he props his feet up on the coffee table—seriously, what is it with asshole men putting their feet on your table? satoru is a terrible influence. “let’s have a movie night.”

“what?” you blink.

“movie night,” he repeats, “you said you don’t like skipping movie night—”

“well, i meant i don’t like satoru skipping movie—”

“well, it was me before satoru, wasn’t it?” he says with a smile. his eyes are closed, crinkled at the corners, but his voice is carefully neutral—like he takes extra care not to let you see any emotion behind it. 

but that only means there is an emotion, isn’t there? is he jealous? does he hate the fact that you and satoru have a routine of your own without him? that you don’t need him to continue living your life? 

good. he should be. he walked out on you all those years ago. he killed a village. killed his parents. you never even got to meet them—he never even got to take you home and introduce you to them before he ripped away every fantasy you ever had with him. 

and now he’s back—he has the audacity to live, to laugh in your face with his existence that yes, geto suguru is here. and he was supposed to be executed, but your stubborn friend didn’t let that happen. he was supposed to be your husband by now with kids and a happy little home, and you were supposed to be his parent’s new addition to their family that they loved so much. but none of that is even close to happening, and it’s suguru’s fault, and the least he can do is show you some regret and maybe feel just the slightest bit bad that you now have to watch shitty movies with his best friend instead of him to feel normal. 

ex-best friend? half best friend? you don’t even know—do they still consider each other their best friends? does anyone consider suguru anything? you don’t know what you consider him. but you think the least he can do is act just the slightest bit pathetic after making you feel so pathetic for so long just to even the score. 

he should be a stranger. he feels like an old friend. but either is dangerous. 

“alright,” you sigh, “let's bring back movie night. don’t fall asleep.”

“i get plenty of sleep nowadays,” he hums, “i have more than enough free time for that now.”

“how lucky of you,” you snort. 

—

picking a movie with suguru is difficult. he actually has standards—satoru watches anything so long as he gets snacks, and he can make anything fun to watch with the way he comments from the side like a critic. suguru, on the other hand, actually cares about the quality of a movie, the metrics that make it good. 

so you pick the hunger games just to piss him off. 

“seriously?” he raises a brow, “this is your pick?”

“yes,” you grin, “i like these movies.”

“of all movies—”

“my house, my rules,” you grin cheekily, “you can pick the movies as soon as you start paying the bills.”

“wow,” he deadpans, “stooping to use my financial status against me? i thought you were better than this.”

“oh suguru,” you sigh dramatically, grabbing a bag of chips from the table, “you don’t know me at all.”

all things considered, you think it’s a rather enjoyable experience. it’s not as fun without satoru’s stupid comments that you pretend to hate, but suguru provides his own commentary that earns a giggle out of you here and there too—although his are not meant to be funny. but that’s the appeal of it, you think. 

“she should have picked gale,” he mumbles. you raise a brow.

“peeta was always there for her, did you miss the rain scene?”

“so was gale,” he says smoothly, grabbing a chip from your bag and making you scowl.

“gale killed her sister,” you point out, “and a lot of other people too. he was ruthless. she needed peeta.”

“gale did what he had to do,” suguru mumbles. 

suddenly, it doesn’t really feel like you’re discussing the movie anymore. it feels more than that. it feels sickening—the air is heavy, and your throat is dry and god, you just wanted a movie night and not this heaviness as you talk about stuff from the past without actually talking about it. 

you blink before turning to your chips, playing around with the bag as you shrug. 

“in the end he didn’t get katniss, did he?”

suguru studies you for a moment, stares a little too deep into you that you start to feel the urge to bolt to your room and go to bed. 

“guess not,” he says quietly, “guess that’s the one regret he has, huh?”

you think for a second, as suguru stares at your eyes with something you can’t quite read, that you might cry. you might cry and throw that half-empty can of soda in his face for speaking in codes and making you question what he means and remember your past. you might cry because suguru could’ve always gotten you—in fact, he had you.

it’s not fair. nothing is, but you can’t help but dwell on it.

“i’m going to bed. it’s late,” you mumble after a few moments, standing. he only nods, staring at the tv as the credits roll. when you make it to your room and the door shuts behind you, you debate clicking the lock in place. 

in the end, you don’t lock the door. suguru climbs into bed with you once more later that night, shaking slightly from his nightmare but calmer than usual. he’s still gone by the time morning comes, and you still never mention it.

it hits you one night that maybe he still has you—maybe you never let him stop having you, no matter what you say.

————————————————

suguru is good at cleaning while you’re away. you have to go out and do adult things like breadwinning and grocery shopping and bill paying. he dusts and cleans and even takes out the trash when you’re home to monitor him as he steps two feet out of your front door. sometimes, because you like to get on his nerves, you accidentally mess up a corner of the house just as he cleans it, laughing as he shoots you an unimpressed look. 

“stop getting crumbs on the floor,” he mumbles, “i just vacuumed.”

“you make a good malewife,” you giggle, “vacuuming and everything. how cute.”

“don’t call me that,” he grumbles, sitting down on the couch. 

“but you missed a spot,” you point to the crumbs you’ve sprinkled from your fingers as you snack away, making him glare. “failwife.”

“i’m going to divorce you and take everything,” he snaps, making you snort as you put your hands up in surrender.

“you don’t have to, you know,” you murmur, “clean, i mean. i can handle it.”

“i think i should carry my weight around here,” he shrugs, “since you are basically sugar babying me around for now.”

“dangerous curse user to the world, but sugar baby to me,” you tease, pulling a chuckle out of him as he rolls his eyes. 

sometimes it’s nice to have his company. suguru is good with banter like that, he’s not annoying like satoru where you run in circles. suguru makes you laugh from your belly, makes the hiccups catch in your throat as you double over. he’s always been like that, always known how to make laughter pour from your lips and trickle down your chin. it’s comforting to know he still knows how. it leaves a small amount of bitterness that he’s still able to make you feel like this. 

“by the way, next time you go shopping, take me with you,” he says casually, “i need to buy stuff for my hair. it’s growing.”

“you’ll finally see the sun just for your hair?” you gasp, “who knew that’s all it’d take?”

despite the playfulness in your words, there’s still shock. suguru is willingly stepping foot outside your house. he’s finally choosing to return to life after living like a recluse no matter how many times you and satoru have tried to beg him to get up and go somewhere. the most you can get out of him is a walk around the neighborhood before he goes back to wandering your home and hiding away in his room. 

suguru is returning to life, his life, and you can’t help but wonder where that leaves room for you.

“my hair is my charm,” he reasons, “wouldn’t you agree?”

there’s a smirk on his lips when he asks—it’s like he’s seventeen and teasing you again, giving you that unfairly flirty smile that used to make you stutter as a kid. back when you were hopelessly in love. back when it was you, suguru, and the world in your corner. back when you had dreams of your future, practically giggling as you planned it away in a notebook. 

suguru was always perfect like that, the kind of guy you could only dream about. he’s always been handsome—he’s always been the center of attention everywhere you went. you used to huff about it, about all the attention he managed to get from walking into a room alone. but then he’d smile, give you that tender look of his as he’d chuckle, and you’d be hopeless again. 

he shouldn’t have that effect on you anymore after over a decade. but he does. it’s cruel, the way the universe works. it’s like there’s a magnet that pushes you together no matter how far you try to go, still pulled by gravity straight into his awaiting eyes and devilish smile.

“i cut your hair off once, i can do it again,” you huff. he laughs, it’s good-natured and kind. 

“i was a bit heartbroken when i realized it was so short, i have to admit,” he says, “i didn’t look like me.”

“you looked good,” you say quietly, “i think you’d make anything work, to be honest.”

“yeah?” he grins, “any requests? i might consider it if it’s you.”

“oh shut up,” you roll your eyes, “how about shaving your head bald? let's see how much charm you have without all that hair.”

“i could charm you without the hair still, couldn’t i?” he winks. 

it’s unfair how he acts like normal. like a few months in your home undoes everything he’s ever committed, all the atrocities he’s caused. the way he flirts with you feels like you’re his again. the way he’s aged and changed feels like you’re meeting someone new. you don’t understand how suguru is so natural with that—with seamlessly falling back into a rhythm with you like nothing has changed at all.

deep down, you know that suguru is just moving on with his life. he’s making the most of what he can. he can’t die, satoru would never let him have a peaceful death after all this. he can’t go back to the way things used to be, whether that’s his sorcery days or his curse user days, and he certainly can’t start over. so he’s making do with what he has—which is very little in reality.

it’s you, your home, and the biweekly visits from satoru and occasionally shoko. so he weaves you seamlessly into his life and treats you with a sense of normalcy you can’t hope to treat him with. maybe it’s because suguru was actually able to move on after he left. 

it’s the part you hated him most for. for building a family with new people. for having two girls that he raised as daughters. for finding people to follow him and trust. suguru, after he walked away from everything he ever knew, actually did something with his life—even if it could hardly be considered good. 

you? you fell deeper and deeper into a pit of denial until clawing your way back out was too impossible, until you had to leave behind everything you’ve ever known to get away from the remnants of his existence. 

it’s easy for him to weave you back into his life because he chose to cut you loose. it feels damn near impossible to let him weave back into yours after he tore himself from the edges and frayed away. 

“don’t do that,” you sigh, making him frown.

“do what?”

“you know what, suguru,” you pinch your nose in frustration, “stop acting like things are normal.”

“things are definitely not normal,” he snorts bitterly, “i think needing your approval to take the trash out is not equal to normal.”

“then why are you acting like…” you trail off, unsure.

“like what?” he raises a brow. 

“like we never changed,” you slam your hands down on the couch in exasperation. 

he stares at you for a minute, blinks once, then twice, and then furrows his brows.

“well, of course we changed,” he mumbles in confusion, “i know that—”

you shouldn’t have said anything. you quickly realize that. suguru is not trying to act like things are normal—he’s trying to be civil, and you’re just a fool. a fool who looks too deeply into everything and assumes what you want to out of things and god, you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of your one and only ex-boyfriend in over a decade who was once dead and somehow came back to the land of the living.

of course, he knows things are not the same. he doesn’t want what you think he does. it’s been years and suguru has moved on—he had already moved on all those years ago, and you’re the only one here that is still focused on the past. and now he knows it too. 

you stand before he can finish, nodding as you stare down instead of meeting his eyes, pretending to adjust your clothes. 

“right, of course you do,” you nod, “i don’t know why i said that. just ignore me, i’ll be going to my room now. i have…things to do, so i’ll be—”

“hang on,” he frowns, hand grabbing your wrist, “i don’t mean it like that,” he says gently.

fuck geto suguru for being so confusing and fuck him for being nice about it too. 

“you can let go, suguru,” you pull at your wrist, “forget what i said, i wasn’t thinking—”

“i still feel the same,” he cuts you off, making your eyes widen, “if that’s what you mean. i never stopped.”

never stopped—that’s almost worse than moving on. how could he have felt the same all those years and still never come back?

“that does not help even a little,” you swallow the lump in your throat. “that makes this so much worse, do you see that?”

“i know,” he sighs, “i’m sor—”

“don’t say you’re sorry,” you grit your teeth, “we both know you’re not.”

“maybe not,” he admits, “i had to try. and that meant leaving—i’m sorry that’s not what you wanted.”

“it’s not!” you turn around, pulling your arm out of his grasp—suguru, for what it’s worth, takes the shove to his chest like a champ. “of course i didn’t want you to leave and kill a bunch of people and have an execution stamped on your forehead and live your life without me.”

“i know—”

“and now you’re back. back! in my house, eating my food and sleeping in my bed for half the night and i just have to act like this is normal. how is any of this normal?” 

“it’s not,” he agrees. he’s calm. so calm, it almost makes you mad. why is he so calm? “nothing about anything in our lives is normal. it never was.”

“you ruined my life,” you blink back tears. he smiles sadly, taking a step closer.

“i guess i can take the blame for that,” he nods, hands finding their way to your hips. against your better judgment, you lean half your weight against his body. this is bad, very bad—but it’s also the best thing ever. 

being close to suguru feels like the sun’s heat tearing through your skin—it’s warm. it’s pleasant. it leaves you parched and drained with a dry throat. but still, you need it to survive. 

“why did you come back?” you ask tiredly. his hand finds the small of your back, rubbing slow circles.

“i don’t know,” he hums, “i didn’t really get a say. maybe i was always meant to, who knows?”

you look at him at that—tilt your head to get a good look at his features. his eyes are more tired, and his cheeks are a bit more sunken in compared to the youthful flesh you remember him with. his hair isn’t as healthy, and his forehead has the slightest traces of pale marks from the scars. but he’s still suguru—and you have always loved suguru, even if he gives you every reason to hate him.

“you make my life unreasonably difficult,” you mutter.

he hums, smiling. “can i?” he asks breathlessly, pleadingly. you stare at his eyes, he stares at your lips. you know what he wants—but fuck, you can’t let him have it so easy. 

“can you what?” you ask, raising a brow slowly.

“are you really gonna make me say it?” he grunts, lips almost curled into a pout. it’s cute, the way he looks longingly at your lips—it’s so cute and beautiful and dangerous all at once, just like suguru. 

“yes,” you say, “yes i am. i deserve to hear it suguru, after everything you put me through. you…you left me. i wasn’t enough for you. i mourned you. i grieved a body i never even saw. do you know what that does to a person? to lose them not once but two times? the least you could do is tell me what you want,” your voice wavers just a little. 

it shakes for the lost time. for the moments you’ll never have. for the memories you lost. for the past that’s tainted. time is cruel like that. but that’s the beauty of it all—the fragility. it’s like sand falling through the cracks of your fingers, every grain slipping from your reach but still soft and soothing against your skin as it falls. everything fades over time, everything starts to hurt one way or another. but it stops. it heals. it starts over. the sand fills the cup of your palms again, warm and delicate and just as beautiful as before it crumbled. 

“can i kiss you?” he asks desperately, “please?”

“kissing me is not a temporary thing,” you shake your head, “not anymore. it’s for good. only for good.”

“i want to kiss you for good,” he nods, hands digging into your hips impatiently. you’re close. you’re too far. he can feel you, smell you, hear your unsteady breaths. but it’s not enough. he needs to devour you, taste you on his tongue, and melt you with his touch. “i won’t stop this time,” he promises. 

“you better not,” you sniffle, tears blurring your vision. you hated suguru for leaving you. you hated him for coming back to you like this. you never stopped loving him, never will stop loving him—and maybe that’s what love is. when the darkness is worth trekking through for the afterglow of the light. “if you fucking leave me again, you’re dead to me. i don’t care how many times you come back to life. you’re dead to me.”

“okay,” he agrees through a shaky chuckle, “i suppose i deserve that. let me kiss you, yeah?”

“yeah,” you breathe.

he kisses you—years too late, he kisses you. it feels like you’re teenagers again. it feels different and foreign. you know this feeling like the back of your hand. you don’t understand what this sensation is anymore. it’s new. it’s old. it’s perfect. it hurts. suguru is here. he promised not to leave—you don’t know if you believe him, but you’re going to trust that finally, for once, you are enough. 

you’re enough to make him happy. to give him a sense of purpose. to keep him swimming when his limbs start to sink. 

finally, for once, you’re enough. 

“i love you,” he whispers against your mouth, breathing the words into you like he’s offering you the air from his lungs, “i never stopped. i promise.”

“you don’t deserve to hear it from me,” you murmur back, panting against his lips, “not yet.”

“fair enough,” he chuckles, “you sure know how to leave a guy waiting.”

“i learned from the best,” you shoot back.

he grins—suguru smiles, heartfelt and real. life is full of misery, it’s painful, and nothing fucking makes sense. everything is cruel. everything dies no matter how carefully you water the roots. there’s always something, someone, ready to tear it from the earth. but if you keep planting the seeds, suguru will keep watering. 

maybe something kind can bloom from that, something big enough for him to hide under the shade when the scorching heat of tragedy becomes too much. 

in this world or in the jujutsu world; in this life or in the next. suguru is yours.

“why am i here?” he asks gently, his face digging into your neck. you hold him, cradling the back of his head as you hum. 

“because i need you here. will you stay?”

“yes,” he murmurs, “i think i’ll stay.”

hi. i have been working on this since march. its still not how i envisioned it to be originally but that's okay. i had fun writing it and it means a lot to me even tho its kind of. well....cliche LMAO like everything i write. but. i enjoy the cliches okay ?? i do. kxljchskdf hope u guys didn't hate it </3

also the fic banner is …. not the greatest. just ignore it ok

why… why did i like the way this hurt my feelings

Second-Hand Heart

Smau: in which you hope they kept the receipt (pre-relationship) Warnings: angsty but mild, just a fun twist I was playing around with, not proofread Featuring: Gojo, Geto, Choso, Toji, Nanami, Sukuna Pt 1, Pt 2

Failures

Suguru Geto x fem!reader

In which you lose your relationship to Suguru Geto.

Set during the Hidden Inventory Arc. Angst, fluff, mentions of blood, murder, sad themes, break up, reader is a sorcerer. Mentions of showering together. Nothing sexual. I’ve had this one in my drafts for way too long! I am open to a part two if it’s requested.

Your pov

“Suguru, dammit, be careful.” I warned him as the anxiety was eating me away.

“Baby I’ll be fine. Satoru and I are the strongest. I can guarantee that this mission will be successful.” He boasted giving me a kiss on the forehead before heading out.

“Just please, I have a bad feeling.” I slightly yelled as he began waking away. “Don’t you worry, everything’s gonna be fine.” He waved off as he set off on his mission.

Something in me knew that it wasn’t going to be alright. My boyfriend and Satoru are indeed the strongest. Most of the time they can do anything even if they’re slacking off, which is most of the time. But this time it felt as though my very soul was screaming that it wasn’t going to be okay. That they weren’t going to be successful. That there was going to be something that was going to go wrong and I hoped it wasn’t my curse technique telling me so.

The next day I walked into principal Yagas office. I bowed showing my respect as I awaited my own mission call. The nagging feeling in my chest still hasn’t gone away but I decided that it must be nerves. I pushed my h/c out of my face trying to look more presentable.

“Is something troubling you L/n?” Yaga questioned as he continued making one of his dolls.

“I’m just worried for Satoru and Suguru.” I responded honestly

“They’ll be fine. Despite the importance of this mission and some of the dangers involved, I am more than confident that those boys will be successful.” He said confidently

“I hope you are correct on this Mr. Yaga. And I hope I am very wrong about this.” I spoke doing my best to swallow the nerves bubbling in my body.

A few days later, news of the incident reached the school. All of my peers teachers were scrambling to understand what happened and how the strongest sorcerers could fail. To my knowledge, someone intercepted their mission making success slim. I knew that once everything settled down that I would ask what happened to the mission that my Geto Suguru was so confident about.

The next day the boys returned. I made my way to great them at the entrance of the school hoping to give them some comfort in this horrible time. As soon as I saw Geto my heart skipped a beat but quickly broke seeing how utterly defeated he looked.

“Geto, Gojo!” I called out

“Oh hey y/n.” Gojo replied giving me a small smile before waking past me with a solemn expression.

“Suguru.” I whispered walking up to him as I placed my hands softly on his shoulders.

“Y/n.” He said looking into my worried eyes. “Good to see you’re still just as beautiful as ever.” He spoke looking down on my face

“Thank you. Let’s get you something to eat.” I said focused on taking care of him.

“I’m okay, not hungry think I might go shower. You’re free to join if you want.” He whispered in a tired tone

“Of course, let’s go.” I smiled giving him a quick hug.

Suguru proceeded to hold me for longer than I anticipated. I felt his poor body shake slightly. His head was placed securely in the crook of my neck. His grip was hard but I could tell he needed this. He needed to feel something good.

After we showered together we laid on his bed hugging each other close. The room was dark and there was no noise other than the fan blowing in the left corner. Suguru laid on my chest holding me close as I stroked his beautiful black hair. We laid like this for about ten minutes when I heard him snuffling into my chest. Immediately I felt worried and hugged him closer to my chest.

“Suguru baby, can you tell me what’s on your mind if you feel comfortable?” I asked placing a lingering kiss on top of his head.

“I failed y/n… I failed something so simple all because of him.” He whispered his voice raspy

“Him? Who was he?” I asked softly

“That damn bounty hunter, Toji Fushiguro. He killed her and defeated me without even an ounce of cursed energy.” He paused lifting up off my chest as his tears lingered on his saddened face. He looked at me, pure anger filling them.

“Y/n, the only reason he won was because Satoru finally learned how to use cursed energy. All while I was laying there in a puddle of my own blood.” Suguru spoke through gritted teeth.

“I’m so damn weak!” He spoke louder getting up off the bed and walking to the window.

“Suguru, you’re not weak! What happened was a surprise you couldn’t have know about Toji.” I replied walking to him placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He quickly shook it off turning his shaking body around to me.

“I did know though! I knew something wasn’t right! I knew that this mission was too damn easy!” He snapped.

“You weren’t there you couldn’t have known!” He added making my heart ache.

“I did know.” I spoke after a small pause.

“I knew something felt off and I tried to warn you.” I admitted tears welling in my eyes.

“So you’re blaming me?” Suguru asked as I could tell he was starting to think irrationally.

“Suguru I’m not saying that at all!” I defended feeling hurt that he would think that.

“Then what are you saying? What are you saying y/n!” He barked his eyes showing pure anger.

“Suguru I know you’re upset right now but I need you to calm down a little.” I pleated feeling slightly scared.

“Don’t tell me what to do! Not you!” He yelled louder brushing past me as he opened the door.

“Suguru where are you going!” I called out as frustrated tears fell down my cheeks.

“Away!” He called out walking down the hall.

“Suguru, please!” I pleated standing in the hallway as I watched him quickly walk away.

My heart ached as it beat faster than it ever had before. All I wanted to do was talk to him and support him but the right words abandoned me. I shook with frustration and sadness. I felt for Suguru and what he and Gojo had to go through. However, I knew I didn’t deserve his words and I hoped that he would come to his senses and talk to me again. Although I was sympathetic to his anger, I knew that I didn’t deserve it.

———

A few days have past and it seemed like Suguru is avoiding me. I’ve tried asking Gojo about where he could be, but even he doesn’t know. Both of us seemed to realize that neither of us had seen him. What’s even worse is that once of our classmates was killed. Haibara was the sweetest and most positive person imaginable, especially in this line of work. Emotions were high and all I wanted to do was be in the arms of the man I loved even despite our last conversation. Despite the recent sadness, class resumed as usual with me and Gojo being the only ones to attend.

“Y/n, I’m sure he’s still upset about how it all ended.” Gojo said tapping his fingers on his desk.

“Yeah, I understand that. But it’s just not like him not to at least let us know where he is.” I replied holding my head in my hands looking at the blank chalkboard.

“That mission was the hardest one both of us either went on. I’m not sure you were told, but both of us nearly died. The only reason we survived was because my reversed curse technique finally decided to work.” Gojo spoke as my eyes widened with shock.

“You guys almost died!” I exclaimed as my heart filled with worry.

“Yeah, guessing he didn’t tell you that.” Gojo responded seemingly shocked himself.

“No, I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.” I whispered feeling ashamed about the last conversation I had with my boyfriend.

“It’s not your fault y/n. Neither of us saw what was happening. Not even me, and I’m suppose to see everything. Hell, I wasn’t even there for Haibara.” Gojo said through gritted teeth.

“Gojo, you both are alive and that’s what matters now. And Haibara is definitely not on your either.” I reassured holding his shoulder feeling my heart clenched at Haibara’s name being mentioned.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Gojo trailed off looking out the window with a solemn look on his “perfect” features.

“I’m going to try find Suguru.” I announced getting up from the hard chair.

“I’ll come with!” Gojo spoke happily

“Sure thing, I just hope he’ll talk to us.” I replied as my nerves began rising.

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Gojo spoke as though he could read my thoughts and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah, it will be.” I said even though part of me didn’t believe it.

———

We searched the entire campus for him, even double checking his usual spots multiple times. We tried calling him multiple times but his phone straight to voicemail. Both of us started to panic slightly and Gojo’s “cool guy” attitude began to fade. We both didn’t want to, but we decided to go to the principals office and ask about his whereabouts. Once at the principals office, both of us wakes into the dim lit room feeling hopeful that he might know where sour Suguru was. I decided to speak but was promptly cut of by the principal himself.

“Good, I’m glad you’re both here. Saves me the trouble of finding you both.” He spoke with an unfamiliar tone. “It’s about Geto, it appears we have some troubling news about him.” He added looking at us with a solemn expression.

“What about him?” Gojo spoke up stepping forward with a scowl on his face.

“I’m sorry to say but he sad been banned from Jujutsu society and is now a dangerous criminal.” Yaga said clutching his fists.

“What the hell do you mean!” I exclaimed fear and anger filling my body.

“What the hell did he even do?” I asked

“He murdered his parents and slaughtered an entire village.” Yaga spoke bluntly.

“No! I don’t believe that!” Gojo exclaimed grabbing onto Yagas jacket pulling him closer.

“Don’t lie to me old man!” Gojo added as his voice was laced in disgust

“Gojo, back off! That’s not gonna help anything!” I proclaimed pulling him off our principal.

“Dammit!” Gojo yelled storming out of the building. I decided not to follow him and instead stayed to speak with my principal.

“How could this have happened!” I asked hoping me might know the change in behavior.

“All we know is that this last mission hurt Suguru Geto, but nothing could have prepared us for this.” Yaga paused picking the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Did he say anything to you that might give you some clue as to why he might of committed such a serious crime?” Yaga asked straightening his back

“W-we had a fight and he stormed out. But he never mentioned anything about wanting to murder his parents a-and innocent people. Gods, his parents were so sweet, how could he do that to them!” I replied as my grief began to hit me.

“I’ll need to talk to other students and staff about his behavior. I’m sorry L/n, but he’s been ordered to be executed once found.” Yaga announced.

“I understand.” Was all I could manage to say after a brief pause. What could I say knowing the love of my life has a death warrant.

“L/n, I would appreciate if you would help us find him. I know that this request seems unreasonable, but if any one should be able to find him, it’s you.” Yaga spoke softly

“W-what!” I whispered yelled appalled by what Yaga had just dared say to me.

“L/n, please calm down.” Yaga asked walking towards me attempting to touch my shoulder. “Back off!” I snapped stepping away from him. “How the hell could you suggest that!” I yelled as my body began shaking.

“I know this request is tough but you are a sorcerer and as as sorcerer it is your duty to uphold our laws!” He replied with tears streaming down his eyes. I could finally see that this was hurting him too. I paused looking at him. This strong man that never showed really any emotion was crying. My own eyes filled with tears as broken sobs left me.

The emotion was too much for me to handle and before I knew it I was running out of the building, just like Gojo had done a few moments ago. Yaga out for me, but I was too focused on leaving to acknowledge him. There was no where in particular I wanted to go, I just knew I needed to get away from the school. I ran and ran until my legs felt like jelly and my lungs burned.

Finally, I realized I was in the city with a few civilians looking at me strangely. I was too tired and thirsty to care about their looks and whispers. After catching my breath, I decided that I needed a drink. I patted my pockets and thankfully felt my wallet in them.

“Thank goodness.” I whispered as I walked to the nearest cafe which was just across the street from where I stood.

After walking in, I was greeted with the sweet smell of the fresh baked pastries. Normally I would love to have one of those. But this time all that was on my mind was a drink or anything that would quench my thirst. Just as I was about to order my f/d, I felt a small tap on my shoulder. Quickly, I turned around and to my shock there stood my boyfriend.

“Suguru!” I spoke wrapping him in a bone crushing hug. He hugged me back kissing my cheek as he did so. After a moment, he let go grabbing my shoulders as I held onto his arms.

“Good to see you y/n.” My boyfriend spoke as though no time had passed.

“Where have you been.” I questioned him feeling relieved that he was here.

“I’ll tell you in a moment, for now I’d appreciate if you’d follow me. There is someplace I’d like to take you.” Suguru spoke too calmly as though he had rehearsed this conversation.

“S-sure.” I replied feeling uneasy about the tone of his voice. I defied that my drink could wait, and finding answers was far more important in this moment.

“I’m glad, and you look lovely today.” He commented even though he didn’t seem genuine.

“Thank you.” I replied feeling uncomfortable

———

Suguru then grabbed my hand and the two of us walked out of the cafe together. The sun was about to set at this point and the sky was absolutely beautiful. For a moment I felt peaceful and relaxed even though I knew of his crimes. Part of me didn’t believe him and and I knew that where ever he wanted to take me that he would need to give me answers.

We walked throughout the city as he guided me in silence to a small park. It was the same park that he confessed he feeling to me a few years ago. Normally, I would fit this sweet but now now, not when that uneasy feeling was creeping in again. I looked to Suguru, who had such a serious expression on his face.

“What is it y/n.” He asked eyes focused ahead.

“Nothing, just what are we doing here?” I asked slightly cringing at how nervous I sounded.

“I thought you loved this place?” Suguru asked as he suddenly stopped and looked at me.

“I do, just” I paused trying to decide if now was the time to rip the bandaid off.

“Just what baby.” He questioned sounding eerily sweet.

“I know what you did Suguru. Please t-tell me if what I heard is wrong!” I pleated deciding that now was better than never.

“That’s why I I brought you here y/n.” He stated still sounding way too calm.

“Please, just tell me what I heard is false.” I said again as I could feel my heart beating against my rib cage.

“What you heard was true.” Suguru spoke as my entire world crashed down upon me.

“What.” I whispered as panic began to sink in. As if Suguru could sense it, he grabbed my shoulders as if he was steadying them.

“No, no! Y/n you need to understand me before you react!” He exclaimed as we made eye contact.

“Explain what?” I asked coldly

“Why I did what I did. You see I had a realization that we are going to die if we continue down this path.” He started looking at me with determination in his eyes. “If we keep fighting all our lives they will amount to nothing. What causes curses, love.” He added using my favorite pet name.

“Humans.” I replied as I was trying my best to contain my anger.

“Exactly, so if we just kill all of those useless monkeys, then we don’t need to fight anymore! Y/n, we can live peaceful lives without curses. We can get married and have children without the fear of them being killed by a curse!” He explained with an excitement that I had never seen before.

I pushed him away from me absolutely disgusted the would say such vile things to me. “What the hell is wrong with you! You’re talking about a fucking genocide!” I yelled finally releasing my anger

“Call it what you want, but this is the path I’m taking. The reason I’m telling you this myself if because I want you to join me.” Suguru spoke going back to his calm demeanor.

“W-why would I join you? You killed your parents Suguru!” I spat as I could feel frustrated tears pricking my eyes.

“My parents were filthy monkeys so killing then wasn’t a problem.” Suguru replied shrugging he shoulders like it was no big deal. “And Like I said, for our future together. You’ve talked about having children one day. I want that too, but I can’t do that if those monkeys are around making curses as though it’s as easy as breathing!” He said as I could tell he was filled with an unquenchable thirst for violence.

I stared at him filled with shock and rage, but also mourning for the man I once knew. Because my Suguru Geto would have never said such things or rather thought them. He would have never killed his parents or threatened genocide. Worst of all, he would never drag me into something he knew would hurt me in any way.

“Y/n, my love this is a good thing. I love you and this is the best way for us to be together.” Suguru said pulling me into a hug. My entire body was screaming for me to pull away but I knew my decision and this hug might be the last I would ever receive from him. I held him so tightly, not that he would notice. I felt him sigh as I held him as his head placed itself upon mine, but not before he kissed it gently.

“Good, I’m glad you’ve found your path to me.” He whispered comfortably

“I love you too.” I replied as I cried into his chest.

We stayed like that as the sun finally set. Our breaths were in sync and we held each other. My body was screaming at me to finally give him my real answer but being in his arms felt so right, so natural. But I knew that I couldn’t keep living a in a fairy tale any longer. Reluctantly, I pulled my head from his warm chest that I’ve grown so accustomed to and pulled away from his comfortable arms.

“Are you alright, my love?”Suguru asked with visible concern.

“I love you so much, but this is not the life that I want for myself.” I spoke solemnly as tears fell down my face.

“What! I don’t understand you seemed fine just a moment ago.” Suguru said taking a step away from me.

“I know, but I can’t allow myself to follow you no matter how much I love you and how much it hurts to walk away.” I admitted as my body trembled.

“You’re making the biggest mistake of your life. I’m offering to let you live in a peaceful world that I’m building to protect you and you’re turning me down!” He exclaimed looking at me with disgust.

“I don’t want that! I don’t want peace built on the blood of innocents!” I clapped back

“I don’t think they are innocent! Those filthy monkeys are the reason that curse killed your brother! You really want those creatures around!” Suguru lectured as my heart panther at the brutal reminder of my past.

“Don’t you dare bring him into this Suguru! Those humans don’t mean to make them! You and I both know that, how could you be so damn blind!” I exclaimed feeling hot with anger.

“Fine then! You want to be a disgrace that’s on you! I don’t need to be with someone so disgusting that she’d risk the lives of her own people over trash!” He spat looking at me with fury.

“Suguru, you don’t mean that!” I sobbed as I felt my heart break so hard I began to feel numb.

“You brought this on yourself Y/N, I truly hope one day you realize I’m right. But for now, looking at you makes my stomach turn.” He spoke coldly looking right through me as though I was the ugliest thing he’d ever seen.

“I could say the same to you, Geto.” I spat matching his look. For a second I thought I saw his face soften as I called him by his last name but it quickly went away.

“Goodbye L/n, I hope we meet on equal footing someday.” Geto said his voice going back to being eerily calm.

“Goodbye.” Was all I managed to say I I turned away from the man I loved so dearly. I heard no response from him as I walked away. The only sound I heard was him letting out a frustrated sigh as he too walked away.

———

The cold night sent chills down my spine as I struggled to keep myself warm as I began my slow journey back to the school. My body felt so numb, not just from the cold but from the disaster of a day I had. The love of my life confessed to being a cold blooded murder with no remorse for his victims. He’s now a genocidal maniac and there was nothing I could truly do about it. I couldn’t kill him, let alone call Gojo in fear Geto would kill me if I tried.

I felt so lost, so broken, and so done with everything. All I wanted to do was cry, scream, and wake up from this horrible nightmare. No matter how much I tried, noting could comfort me. I knew as I walked through those busy streets that my life changed forever and nothing could stop it. But what I did know, is that I needed to get stronger. Because one day I knew that I would see Geto again. Only this time I might have to kill him.

Thanks for reading💜 This one hurt.

Please feel free to like, comment, request, and reblog

Click here to see what I’ll write for and HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

-L.W.L

Forget pt.2

Suguru Geto x fem!Reader

Fluff, slight angst. Geto tries to make it up to you on your “date”.

First Person pov

Suguru Geto was about thirty minutes late and we were suppose to meet at 5:30. He promised me last night over text that he wouldn’t be late and that in fact I would be the one late. Yet here I am waiting on his slow ass. I can’t believe that guy. I decided to leave our designated meeting spot to do some shopping for myself. If he won’t take me out, then I’ll just treat myself. No use wasting a perfectly good day waiting on his flaky ass.

“Hey L/n!!” I heard from a distance.

I turned my head to find the voice and to my actual surprise I saw Geto running full speed towards me waving his right arm in the air frantically. A few seconds later he was by my side catching his breathe.

“You better have a good reason to be late Geto”! I exclaimed to him

“I know I’m sorry. My alarm didn’t go off and I rushed here as fast as I could.” He said while taking short breaths.”

“Yeah…sure” I said while rolling my eyes

“L/n I really am sorry. I overslept and I’m being honest about that. I really do keep fucking up our friendship don’t I?” He said as he composed himself and looked at me. His hair was down and he looked tired. I guess he really needed some sleep.

“Fine I guess. Well you’re here now, so what did you have in mind to do today?” I asked him still slightly pissed that he was late.

“Well I have a big surprise, but that’s for later today. So we can do whatever you’d like until then if you want.” Geto said with a smile.

“What’s the surprise?” I questioned

“It really wouldn’t be a surprise then if I told you.” He chucked

“I suppose it wouldn’t. Alright then I guess I’m a getting a little hungry if you wanted to go get something.” I told him

“Any place in mind?” He asked me

“Yeah, let’s go to that new restaurant just a couple of blocks from here.” I suggested

“Sounds good to me L/n. Lead the way.” He said.

As we walked to our destination I couldn’t help but feel comfortable with him. He was good company when he wasn’t late or being an asshole with Gojo. We passed many different shops that I wanted to go to. I expressed my desires to Geto and he didn’t even question why I wanted to go. He seemed to like to say yes to everything. I have a feeling he’s sucking up to me because he flaked on me during our mission and because he was late.

Just as we were about to arrive at the restaurant, I noticed an orange cat in a alley way. They were a bigger cat with a long tail and a missing ear. My heart hurt for the little guy. I bent down to pet him and so did Geto. They were as friendly as could be and I couldn’t help but smile at the cute creature. Turing my head to see how Geto was doing I noticed he had a big smile on his face as well. For some reason that made me feel fuzzy inside. And a faint blush graced my features.

“Damn this cat his cute.” Geto suddenly said

“Yeah. I wish I could take it with me. I don’t think Yaga would appreciate that though.” I said in a solemn tone.

“If he never finds out I don’t think it’ll matter. Geto responded

“He’s pretty good at finding out stuff like this. Remember that time Gojo found a dog and tried to keep it?” I asked laughing at the memory.

“Oh yeah how could I forget the look on his face when Yaga told him he couldn’t keep it. I think this is different though.” He said

“How is this any different from that?” I questioned him.

“Well for one Yaga actually likes you and you’re a responsible person. Two that dog was massive and had flees and who knows why else. Three I know for certain Yaga likes cats.” Geto spoke honestly

“Okay you got me there. And how the hell did you know that he likes cats?” I asked him while petting the cat.

“I may have over heard him talking on phone with someone. And he called that certain someone kitten.” He said with a serious expression on his face that caused me to laugh.

“Yeah sure he did Geto” I responded

“Hey I’m sure this cat will be here when we get back. So do you want to head out?” Geto questioned

“Sure, I’ve been dying to try that new place anyway.” I responded getting up

After we said our goodbyes to that cat, we made our way to the restaurant. Just like before it was a quiet comfortable walk. Today was beautiful as the cherry blossoms were in full bloom and the day was warm. I loved days like this because they reminded me of my mother. We use to walk in the family gardens together when I was a child. That was so long ago. I smiled at that thought.

“Hey what’s got you so happy?” Geto asked as he put a hand on my shoulder.

“Nothing just enjoying the day is all.” I told him

“It is a lovely day.” He responded

“It certainly is.”

“Almost as lovely as you”he said in a whisper. This made me blush. I’m sure it was just him being kind to me. Yet I still couldn’t help but feel fluttery at his comment.

After a short amount of time we made it to our destination. Just as I was about to open the door, Geto beat me to it. Stating it was a gentlemanly thing to do. I rolled my eyes at his comment and walked in. The restaurant was simple yet elegant. As soon as I walked in I smelled a wonderful aroma of baked goods that a little giddy with anticipation. Geto and I then made our way to a table near a window so that we could enjoy the sun a little more. Opening our menus I noticed a lot of really wonderful dishes and baked items. Our waiter came up to as for our orders and I ordered (f/f) and (f/d) and Geto ordered a coffee and a piece of chocolate cake.

“So are you enjoying yourself today L/N?” Geto asked leaning back on his chair with crossed arms.

“Yes I think I am. I haven’t had a day where I can just do anything in a long time. My father is persistent that I do training whether I can do that I can reach my full potential.” I spoke honestly mimicking his posture.

“He sounds like a hard ass. He won’t give you shit for being here with me today will he”? He asked with sloughs nervousness in his tone.

“Nah and if he does I’ll deal with it later. It’s not like I do this everyday. Plus he thinks your strong so he won’t care that I’m out with you.” I said turning my head to look out of the window.

“We’ll me and Gojo are the strongest y’know.” He chuckled.

“I’m fully aware of that. However, I’m not too far behind you and I will surpass you in power. Or at least be able to rival you in my curse technique soon. I just need a little more time.” I told him Turing my head to look him in the eyes with a serious determined glare.

“Sheesh alright then I trust you. You have me beat with just hand to hand combat so hell maybe you will surpass me with your cursed technique. Just don’t push yourself too much.” Geto spoke reaching his hand out and giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“I’ll try but I can’t promise anything. Like you said my father is a real hard ass.” I said while softening my glare. Damn this boy he has some sort of hold on my that makes me feel so soft inside. I’m not sure if I hate it or not.

Just then our waiter came with our meals. The food was divine and the first bite left my body with goosebumps. Geto laughed at my reaction to the food, but then I teased him because he want any less funny. He had chocolate cake all over his lips. He looked like a toddler eating their first piece of cake. It was hard not to laugh. One of the strongest Jujutsu sorcerers eating like a toddler was a sight to see. After my laughter and pointing out the sugary mess he quickly wiped his mouth. A little while later Geto paid claiming it was his treat for being so late. I don’t complain one bit considering he did owe me. As we left the sky began turning a deep orange with purple, yellow, and pink all blending into the heavenly sky. The cherry blossoms looked ethereal with the sunset cascading onto them. It was truly a lovely sight to behold. I have no idea how long I stared at them but I felt Geto tap my shoulder.

“You okay up there L/N”? Geto questioned.

“Yeah I’m just fine.” I said to him. I then turned my head to look at him only to be completely awestruck. Just as ethereal as the cherry blossoms was the sight before me. Getos skin had been kissed by the wonderful colors. His eyes were glowing with radiance. He was smiling at me and I swear I had never seen a more beautiful smile than the one graced before me. I couldn’t speak all I could do was marvel at the sight before me with a raging heat on my face.

Suguru Getos pov

A goddess. That’s what Y/N L/N was at this very moment. Todays sunset was particularly beautiful. However the ways the sunsets color had illuminated her. Her eyes seemed to glow with a raging fire. Her skin was radiating a godlike glow. She as an ethereal being I swear. I’ve met plenty of pretty girls but none of them compare to the goddess that stood before me.

Her lips in this moment seemed so soft and plump. All I wanted to do was kiss her, but would that be okay? Would I ruin what little grave I had left with her? Did today make her forgive me for my shitty behavior? All of these questions came flooding in yet left as soon as they came. She was leaning in so I did what anyone would do. I leaned in too. My hand found her cheek and I could already feel her breath on my face. Time seemed to completely slow down. Our lips barely touched and I was ready to take this next step with her. And then at the worst fucking possible time I hear this agonizing voice booming behind me.

“HEY YOU GUYS!” screamed the one and only Satoru Gojo. I’m normally use to his annoying behavior. He is my best friend after all. And yet I find myself wanting to strangle him right about now.

“Hello Satoru” I say irritated and gritting my teeth.

“Hey Gojo” L/N says in a similar tone

“Well damn are you guys both in a sour mood or something?” He asked innocently

“Nope not at all” I say facing him with a slight annoyed glare.

“Alright, I was just in town and knew you guys were here. It’s almost curfew ya’know. You guys don’t want Yaga on your asses.” He joked

“We were just leaving Gojo. I could also say the same thing about you. Why are you here?” L/N asked

“If you must know I felt a little peckish, so I decided to get some mochi. I heard this place was pretty good so I wanted to come get some before curfew.” He responded excitedly

“Well, it certainly was good. Hope you have a good time bud.” I said while patting him on the back and pulling on L/N’s arm indicating I wanted to go.

“Aww alright see you guys later.” Satoru pouted.

“Yeah later” L/N and I spoke at the same time.

After we had said our goodbyes, we began walking back to our school. I guess we spent a little long in the restaurant. I just hope I have time for the surprise I had planned. Hopefully she’ll like it. And as if on cue…

“So what about that surprise huh?” She said tugging on my arm.

“We need to go to the school in order to see it. Don’t worry I think you’ll like it.” I said confidently.

“Hmmm alright. I’m sure I’ll like it. It’s not too hard to please me.” She joked

“Hehe yeah I’m sure” I chucked nervously

“It’s a shame though.” She spoke

“What is?” I questioned

“We passed that alley that cat was at and he wasn’t there. I hope he’ll be okay tonight.” She said as her head was looking at the sky.

“I’m sure he will be. If you’re that worried, we can go look for him. Although I’m not sure you’ll get your surprise tonight if that’s the case.” I told her honestly.

“It’s okay. I’m sure you’re right about him. Plus I’m pretty excited about this so called ‘surprise’” she said while doing air quotations with her fingers

“Alright then I’ll race you there” I beamed as I began running.

“What the hell Geto!!!” L/N screamed as she began running too.

Your pov

Dammit all right to hell. I just ate and now I’m running. This is not exactly what I’d call fun. But at least I’m getting some training in today. Plus the school isn’t too far from here. I’m surprised at Geto’s attitude. I never took him for the randomly racing type but I guess you can’t judge a book by it’s cover.

I won of course. Even with a head start Geto can’t beat me. His cursed energy is a little stronger than mine, but I’m a hell of a lot more skilled than he is. Still I needed to catch my breath at the gates of Jujutsu high. Eating a lot of food and then running wasn’t exactly smart. I can tell that Geto is probably thinking the same thing as he is currently hunched over catching his breath.

“So, heh, L/N follow me would ya” he said in between breaths

“Yeah sure” I said in between my own breaths.

“You beat me again it seems” Geto spoke taking the lead

“Of course I did Geto.” I laughed

“I had a good time with you L/N” he suddenly spoke in soft voice

“Me too Geto. And you know you can call me by my first name, right?” I questioned him

“Yeah, alright then Y/N.” He said looking at me. This made me melt. His eyes were beautiful and to me they were more beautiful than Gojos.

A little while longer of walking and chatting about random things we made it to the rooftop of the dorm rooms. I was confused on what kind of a surprise could be on an roof top. It was now dark with only some lights hanging by the dorm building’s door as well as the moonlight that kissed the landscape below. I noticed Geto pulling down his sleeve to look at his watch and smile.

“It’s almost time for your surprise, so make yourself comfortable.” he said

“Alright just know if you’re planning on killing me, my father will hunt you down.” I joked or tried to.

“Umm yeah I’m not gonna kill you Y/N” he deadpanned

“Good because I really don’t feel like dying yet. I’ve still gotta get stronger.” I said as I say down and looked at the moon.

“Why do you want to get stronger” he questioned

“So I can protect the weak.”

“You mean humans?” He asked

“Yep” I said emphasizing the p

“Understandable although they are the reason that we have to kill curses in the first place.” He said in a slight malicious tone.

“You okay they can’t help it. I bet if they could they wouldn’t. We have the power to stop it and I think that we should if we can.” I passionately said looking into his eyes.

“Yeah I guess you’re right. By the way we’ve got less than ten seconds until your surprise. So close your eyes.”

“For how long?” I asked him raising my left eyebrow.

“Just until I say”

After those seconds go by I hear him tell me to open my eyes. To my surprise shooting lights were gracing the sky at lightning speeds. It was such a beautiful sight. I found myself smiling at the marvel above me. I have never seen a meteor shower and I’m happy that I’m seeing one now with him. His surprise definitely was worth the wait.

“Like it?” He asked sheepishly

“Yes of course I do!” I said excitedly moving over to hug him. I have no idea why I hugged him I just felt this was the best way to hug him.

“I’m glad you do” he responded wrapping his arms around me. This hug felt just as good as the last one we shared. I didn’t notice how cold I was until I felt his body pressed against mine. It was comforting and I felt like letting go would leave me with an uncomfortable chill.

“Yeah thank you for today and you’re forgiven by the way. Today was perfect.” I said holding him a little bit harder.

“Anytime Y/N I had a good time today too.” He said as I felt him hold me harder too.

As we finally let go I looked back up at the sky to marvel again at the sight before me thankful that I get to share it with Suguru Geto. After about an hour we headed back to our dorms.

“You know we should hang out more Y/N. I enjoy your company.” Geto suddenly spoke as we reached my door.

“I agree you’re good company.” I said honesty

“Anyway goodnight I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast.” He said with a smile

“Goodnight Geto.” I smiled back looking in his heavenly eyes

After he left I did my nightly routine and got into my bed. My thoughts were consumed by my day and how well it went. I’m glad I agreed to spend my day with him. I hope that I can spend more time with him without him finding out about my crush. That might be a bit embarrassing. As I closed my eyes I was all but consumed with thoughts of Suaguru Geto.

Thank you all for reading. Sorry this part took a little longer than expected. Please stay tuned for the next part. And please comment I enjoy reading them💜

Please feel free to request, comment, and reblog

Click here to see what I’ll write for and click HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

-L.W.L

Part 1 Part 2

Not too sure if I’ll continue this fic or not. Please let me know if you’d like a part 3. Thank you!💜

Forget pt.1

Suguru Geto x fem!Reader

Angst, fluff

How you and Suguru Geto got together. And the first of many parts going over a timeline of how it all fell apart. How your love grew and how it went away after the years.

Your pov

Sitting in my clans house I began overthinking about the past. I’m grateful about where I am today as clan leader, but I can’t help but look bad on the past and the certain people I’ve lost. Where did it all go wrong? I’ve been asking myself that every day since he left. What exactly happened that caused him to change. All of those promises and declarations of love and loyalty are now dust in the wind. He use to be so sweet, caring, and kind. But from what we’ve heard, he’s now killing innocent humans and any sorcerer that doesn’t agree with his ideology. The man I knew would have never killed innocent people. He would’ve done whatever he could to save them. I remember him telling me how beautiful he thought they were. Was that all a lie? I don’t know the truth anymore and I don’t know if my Suguru is still there. My only comfort now are the beautiful memories him and I shared. If I could only go back to the days where he was mine and everything was simpler…

Years Ago in Jujutsu Tech…

Coming back from a mission covered in blood and cuts was not my idea of a good day. It was a tough mission that me and Suguru Geto were suppose to go on. Except he forgot, which is strange to me because we were both told in person about it yesterday. My guess is that he found a piece of ass that caught his attention. So much for friendship I guess. I feel slightly jealous that a random person could get his attention more than his actual friends. I dismissed my anger and went to get my wounds healed. I decided not to be angry too much. He was a kind person only when he wanted to be, hell he’s one of the strongest aside from Gojo. He probably thinks it’s beneath him. What an ass.

After I got my wounds healed, I went back to my room to take a needed shower. On my way there I thought about how the mission went and what I could do better next time. I need to rely on myself and my abilities more and I need to stop hesitating. I’m to be the next leader of my clan by some miracle. My father has no living brothers or any male heirs that have his abilities and my mothers abilities, so I’m the only choice he has. I have to be perfect or I’ll disappoint my entire family.

Just as I was about to reach my room I head rapid footsteps approach me. I turned around to see who they belonged to and to my surprise the flake himself showed up. Geto ran up to me with an apologetic look on his face and a box of some sorts in his hands. I felt like going in my room and locking my door, but knowing him he’d probably stand there knocking until I opened the door. So I turned to face him and began questioning his whereabouts.

“Where the hell were you today?” I questioned

“Sorry l/n, I was out today and lost track of time.” He spoke in labored breathes

“I’m sure you did, good night Geto” I spoke turning to open my door.

“Wait, here I got your favorite candies.” He spoke

“I would have preferred if you actually showed up today for the mission we had together. No worries though I handled it by myself” I deadpanned

“Please just take them as an apology.” He pressed

“Fine, just promise me that you’ll show up next time or tell me you aren’t coming. I’d rather not rely on someone who won’t show.” I said

“Fair enough, I’m still so sorry for flaking out on you” he apologized

“You’re forgiven, good night Geto”

Just as I was about to open my door and get some much needed sleep, I felt him grab my writs and pull me into a hug. I froze as he’d never hugged me before. The only touching we had done was accidentally brushing each others hands or helping each other up during missions. It felt good to be in his arms. I’m still so mad at him but I can’t help but feel so safe. He pulled away and looked into my eyes and my told me goodnight. He then walked away to his own room that was a few doors down. I care for him in a way I don’t think I should. My feelings aren’t something I’m proud of because there is no way he would feel something like that for me. He’s more interested in girls and killing curses to settle down for one person. I’m most likely going to be in an a arranged marriage anyway. I shook off my feelings and went into my room finally getting some much needed sleep.

The next day I walked into the cafeteria and saw Gojo and Geto stuffing their mouthes with their breakfast. I got my food and joined them. I didn’t make eye contact with Geto. I felt a sense of awkwardness in the air. I ate my meal as quickly as I could do to avoid conversation, but my desires were cut short when I heard an annoying voice speak.

“Soooo y/n how’d the mission go yesterday” Gojo spoke in a sing song tone

“Successful” I responded

“Sorry about keeping Geto yesterday, he was helping me with something yesterday” he spoke

“What things?” I questioned. I noticed Geto get visibly uncomfortable, which made me slightly angry.

“Well if you must know. This girl has been calling me nonstop and so Geto here volunteered to distract her for me” he said casually

“Hey!” Geto exclaimed slamming his hands on the table.

“What that’s what you did yesterday” Gojo said innocently

“Ah, so that’s what you were doing yesterday.I guess I was right. Can’t say I’m surprised Geto. Just wish you told me the truth you ass.” I spoke harshly

“L/n I’m sorry I-“ Geto began to speak

“I don’t want to hear it Geto, just tell me next time you’re not going to take care of your responsibilities instead of lying. See you later Geto.” I said while standing up and going to the training field. I needed some time to think about my feelings and what the hell was going through that boys head. I’d never know.

Suguru Getos pov

“Shit this is the last time I do any favor for Gojo. It my fault for accepting, but he threatened to say something to L/n that I would rather say to her myself. Selfish arrogant bastard. I still don’t know why I’m friends with him. I guess it’s because him and I are the strongest. Yeah, maybe that’s it or maybe I just like his company. Whatever it is Gojo Satoru is someone I consider a friend who just so happens to have blackmail on me. I guess I better act quickly. He’d definitely say something vulgar to her and that’s the last thing that I want.” I think to myself

“Heyyyyy Suguru?” Gojo whined

“Yes?” I questioned

“You should ask her out you know.” He states

“I hate that you know I like her.”

“I’m confused on why you do. Why settle for one girl huh?” He questioned

“Because unlike you, I’m not a womanizer. At least I try not to be. And I like her, she’s a strong woman with a kind heard. She’s also fierce when it comes to killing curses. I also find her extremely beautiful inside and out. So what’s not to like?” I stated

“True I guess. You do know that she’ll be a clan leader when she gets older, right?”

“Yes I know. But I can’t help the way I feel about her. I want to feel her, know her, grow with her, and be by her side.” I spoke honestly probably saying more than I should to Gojo.

“Is it because she saved your ass that one time?” Gojo questioned

“Fuck off!”

“Whatever man, as long as your happy” he spoke honestly

“Thanks, I just hope she doesn’t hate me. She might now because of yesterday. I tried making it up to her by getting her something, but I was stupid enough to believe that would work.”

“Nah man you gotta woo her and take her out. Spoil her a little you know.” Gojo said while stuffing rice in his mouth.

“Like you know anything about that.” I scolded

“True I’m not into dating, but I do know how to woo a woman,Suguru.” Gojo spoke

“I think I can figure it out on my own. L/n and I have been friends for a long time. I just hope she feels something for me too. Anyway I’m gonna go do some training”

“Why, we’re the strongest Suguru” Gojo spoke

“I know, but there is nothing wrong with a little training. And she’s not too far behind us you know. She’s way better at physical fighting than both of us combined. We’re only strong because of our techniques. I said

“Heh true that. Don’t overwork yourself Geto” Gojo spoke

“Yeah I won’t. See ya later.” I said while standing up to make my way to the training field.

I waved goodbye to my idiot friend and made my way to the training field. I needed to clear my head and make a plan to explain my feelings to her. Even if she didn’t want to be with me like that. I wanted her to know that I would always want to be near her, to grow beside her, and to see her become head of her clan. I want to see her succeed. I never imagined I’d ever care for anyone this way. I almost want to laugh at myself for how whipped I am for this girl. Gojo was right though. My feeling started when she saved my life. She risked hers to save mine form a powerful curse when we were first years. I was strong back then, but not as strong as the curse I was fighting. She managed to kill the curse and save me from getting killed. Ever since then I’ve desired her.

After a few minutes of walking, I was almost at the training field. I planned on just doing some light exercises and working on my technique a bit. As I was walking up, I saw her. She was there too and my heart felt like it was racing out of my chest. She looked so fierce and beautiful. I couldn’t help but stand and stare at her beauty. The way she moved was like water. She was graceful yet strong. I don’t know how long I stood there like an idiot but I was taken out of my trance when I heard her call my name.

“Hey Geto what the hell are you standing there for” she yelled

“Just watching. May I join you?” I questioned trying not to sound nervous

“Yeah, if you can keep up and no cursed energy” she spoke back with a smirk on her face.

One hour later…

“I give up you win” I said said holding my stomach that she just hit with her full strength.

“I told you Suguru, you can’t keep up with me. Your ability is slightly stronger than mine. But when it comes to actual combat you are simply inferior to me.” She spoke nonchalantly

“Yeah, very true” I groaned trying to get up.

“Mmm”

“L/n I’m really sorry for yesterday and this morning. I had no intention of hurting you.” I apologized again.

“It’s fine Suguru I already forgave you. Besides I just kicked your ass, so I’m doing much better.” She smiled which made me smile with her.

“L/n do you maybe want to go into town tomorrow? There’s this uh coffee shop I’ve been wanting to try.” I ask nervously

“Hmm, I don’t see why not. As long as your buying” she spoke

“Sure, it’s a date then” I say then realizing what I just said. I looked in her eyes to see if I made her uncomfortable but she didn’t seem fazed by my suggestion at all. She almost looked happy by it, but maybe that was my imagination.

“See you tomorrow Geto” she said waving me off with a small smile.

“See you tomorrow, L/n” I said with a small blush grading my features excited to spend the day with her tomorrow.

Thank you so much for reading❤️ this story will have multiple parts. I haven’t decided how many yet so stay tuned. Very slow updates.

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•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

-L.W.L

Part 1, Part 2