Smau - Blog Posts

Hard Launching

Summary: Iida finds it amusing how much you enjoy posting him on your Instagram Characters/Pairings: Iida x reader, fem!Reader Warning: smau, fem!reader but that's simply due to the pfp i picked, minor mention of the incident with Iida's brother, established relationship, no war becuase I still haven't finished watching past s2 💀 Word Count: ~500 A/N: This is my first time writing anything mha related!! my bad to anyone using a pc or laptop, i fear the layout might not be as aesthetic as i've planned LMAO

It had only been two hours since you posted the sweet photo of Iida and your local stray, and yet for some reason you couldn't help but yearn to post more. An abundance of photos had been compiled in your phone's gallery, so many to the point where your phone had taken upon itself to make a personal folder just for your sweet boyfriend, Tenya Iida. Most were of him resting against your chest, dark hair messily spread across his face as he slept soundly against your warm skin, while others were more serious, such as the professional photos taken of him at sports events. Every single photo held a memory, whether it be enjoyable or embarrassing and you planned to treasure every single one of them.

While you were already pressing the small plus at the bottom of your screen, Iida had found his way towards your spot on the lounge. Your eyes flickered upwards and your face softened into a sweet smile. The relationship you shared had been built upon mutual trust and a genuine bond. You were there for him when his brother was injured, pushing him until he finally opened up. In many ways, that was the beginning of your gentle relationship. You sighed at the thought, something that Iida had picked up on almost instantaneously. He set himself down next to you, arm gently wrapping around your waist to pull you into his warm chest. It had been two years since graduation, and five years since you first started dating. Although he had been rather shy with any displays of affection in the beginning, he was completely comfortable now.

"I saw your post.." He whispered into your ear, the cool frame of his glasses brushing against your cheek as he leaned in to rest his head against your shoulder. Your cheeks flushed, nose scrunching up as you recognised the subtle hint of amusement settled deep beneath his words. "Did you like it?" Your eyes lit up at his small nod against your warm skin, feeling the soft touch of his lips against your cheek.

Iida couldn't stop that gentle smile that spread across his face at your words. He found it silly how desperate you were to finally announce to the world that you were dating through your socials. You'd taken a long break after an incident in highschool, hence why you were only now hard launching your boyfriend across your Instagram feed. He gave a gentle nod and soft hum, his hand squeezing your waist before he finally spoke again.

"I love it.."

it's your decision! Both will be updated evantually<33

☆ spike into my heart!

- in which [name] and kageyama are ex-boyfriends who happen to recconect after one of kageyama's old friends talk about [name]'s new song...

☆ kageyama's contacts ▪︎ [name]'s contacts

- 001 : have you heard his new song?

- 002 : coming soon...

unfortunate roommate.

touya todoroki x gn!reader smau

an takes place after touya escapes the facility (i def wanna do more with this concept) js fluff, swearing and an endeavour mention

i love you touya i wish nothing bad happened to you i wish your dad didn’t suck i wish your quirk didn’t burn you i wish you had a normal childhood i wish you never became dabi i wish you were happy before the last few painful seconds of your life

i saw ur post about shoto smau request and girl…..same here! There’s not enough about my man 😔

here I am with my little request tho lol, basically just like Shoto has a super duper sweet girlfriend who’s always trying to do things for him and he’s so not used to it (given his childhood) like bringing him sweets and checking up on his feelings, and he is so shy to it so he just starts to spoil her endlessly like she does for him <3

this is so sweet i dropped dead and forgot to post this. I HOPE YOU STILL SEE THIS IM SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG !! 💞💞

cw just fluff really, a little bit of shoto being upset but we’re here to comfort him <3

also little note : i don’t know wether to have shoto write in auto-cap, he probably would butttt i feel like he would start to copy the way you text so i did that here!

mha + reader tweets (and texts) ! with a nice sprinkling of shoto x reader !!

sort of continuation of this, but i also went a little insane with the random stuff 😵‍💫

also i feel as though i should’ve cropped some of the longer images that don’t need to be but i’m too lazy nowwww ALSO RHE TEXT MODE CHANGES FROM DARK TO LIGHT, cause i made them at different times and i’m silly

content : just fluff and crack y’know, mention of reader having anxiety issues (self indulgent..) kamijirou crush implied, cursing, the amazing world of gumball and avatar the last airbender sneaks because i can OKAY

i hope you guys like this ITS SO RANDOM BUT I WAS LAUGHING WHILE MAKING IT SO!!

lmk if you giggled, ily guys

Hi (again)!! Going off of the flirty!reader x Izuku ask, could you do a SMAU for it, please 🙏🙏🤍 Loved your writing for it!!

im so glad you liked it!! with this i had the slight problem of not being able to convey izuku’s emotions through text in the way i wanted SOO.. i annotated it!!

idk if it’s good, so lmk, might have to zoom in on the photos to see everything! i’ll also put the un-annotated version here as well 💞

izuku midoriya x flirty!reader

cw : only fluff and cute awkwardness! hope you like! dammit messed up now and know. at my big age.

add on to this headcanon post (which i cant text link?? ugh)

annotated :

without annotations :

An smau request, one that's been bugging me for a while.

I dislike certain pranks, ones that are basically gaslighting or making the partner think they're cheating, stuff like that. Could I request Shouto, Izuku and whoever is your favorite comforting a reader who broke up with their bf for pulling that stuff and taking the chance to tell how they feel?

i completely get this, and i hope you enjoy this smau!

featuring : izuku, shoto, katsuki and ochako

cw : a little angst (reader breakup), mostly fluff and cute heartfelt confessions <3

izuku .

shoto .

katsuki .

ochako .

hope you enjoyed! likes, comments and reblogs are always appropriated and are guaranteed to make me giggle and kick my feet a lil

also cafe mami is a reference to where mera works in the disastrous life of saiki k, if u got that i’ll be confessing to you next

send requests for smau’s / one shots / drabbles !!!

i will write :

shoto

izuku

katsuki

ochako

mina

jirou

momo

kirishima

himiko

keigo

fluff, romantic or platonic, angst, suggestive but no smut!

be specific what you want (smau, one shot, headcanons etc etc)

shoto todoroki x gn!reader smau / mha tweets !

cw : i believe this is gn!reader but lmk if i alluded to fem reader in any of these and i’ll amend the title, fluffy and hopefully funny.. i find myself funny, hinted bkdk (outright boy kisser bakugo, could be bi though whatever u headcanon really) uhh i think that’s it!

lmk if you enjoyed, cause i made a bunch more!!

texting izuku! (again … prolly ooc.)

he steals your all might pillow (it’s the fanboy in him).

LUCKY NUMBER #27

pairings: Tobio Kageyama x reader

m.list

chapter 2 | top 10 coming home videos

prev | next

you felt your throat close up, it felt as if you were going to vomit everywhere. The same feeling you got when you first got your trainee contract but ten times worse.

Everytime you got a text from your brother you looked around, and around and around until he finally came into your sight with your mother and father. You couldn’t stop the corner of your lips from curling up into a smile, neither could you stop the small fountain of tears starting to pool in your eyes.

Sure you’ve called and FaceTimed your family but sometimes there would be weeks even months where you weren’t allowed to be in contact with them. You didn’t where they were at all and they didn’t know where you were or if you were even safe. 

It’s never felt so relieving to see them again. Before they could even see you, you ran up to all of them immediately embracing your mother in the biggest hug you could’ve ever given her, just as if you were a new born baby. Thank God your make up wore off during your plane ride here or else mascara would be everywhere.

It felt nice, familiar and comfortable to finally be around the people you cherish the most in this world.

Taglist: @diorzs @piapiaweee3 @sun-nny-side-up @lvtilzs

little note! : don’t forget your daily clicked for Palestine! 🇵🇸

© haeunoo 2024 please do not steal, copy, or repost my work onto other platforms.

LUCKY NUMBER #27!

pairings: Tobio Kageyama x reader

m.list

chapter one | milkshake (disaster)

next

NOTES! :

GUYS WE LOST THE PLOT!!

the gc w yn and the others is the girls yn is going to debut with in a couple of years!

don’t forget your daily clicks for Palestine! 🇵🇸

taglist: @diorzs @lvtilzs @piapiaweee3

© haeunoo 2024 please do not steal, copy, or repost my work onto other platforms.

LUCKY NUMBER #27!

Pairings: Tobio Kageyama x reader

M.list

b b b ballers | profiles!!

Check end for fun facts 🤓

NOTES! :

Your fans found out Daichi was your brother and they all started to follow him harassing him for picture of you as a baby😭

Asahi gets added in later dw!

yn spoils suga bc he’s her favourite lowk

Hinata and Kageyama are the only ones that don’t really know yn

noya got famous from a hit tweet and hasn’t shut up about it since then💀

tsukishima and tadashi were helping hinata and kageyama study

bios r lowk unfunny I made these at 3am SORRY I gave up😭

Reblogs are appreciated! ♡

Taglist: @diorzs (comment on masterlist if you wanna be added!!

© haeunoo 2024 please do not steal, copy, or repost my work onto other platforms.

LUCKY NUMBER #27!

pairings: Tobio kageyama x Reader

M.list

SPOTLIGHT ON US (not yn & tsuki tho) | profiles!!

Check end for fun facts🤓

NOTES! :

Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and yn all went to the same middle school. Yn left in her last year of middle school but still kept in contact with the both of them almost everyday!

yn knows kiyoko from her brother and they’ve met once when Sawamura was in his second year and they were friends ever since

yn knows Yachi from kiyoko, they’ve never met in person but face time regularly in between yn busy schedule 😭💀

erm Michimiya is in here cause she doesn’t get any love😕 anyway she knows yn through her bf sawamura (daichi) and they became friends. She’s rarely active in the gc tho but when she is, she says a lot

Guys lowk lost the plot in this just imagine it as a slice of life cause what!!🤷‍♀️

Um sorry it’s not gn with the pronouns but honestly if you just replace “she” with your pronouns it COULDDD work🙏🙏 (don’t quote me on that..)

Reblogs are always appreciated! ♡

everyone in the fg either got “famous” cause they’re friends w yn or they had a hit tweet😭

Taglist: @diorzs (comment on master list if u wanna be added!!)

© haeunoo 2024 please do not steal, copy, or repost my work onto other platforms.

LUCKY NUMBER #27

— Tobio Kageyama

CHANGING THE TITLE SOON LAWL

IM GONNA UPDATE THIS SOON PLS DONT LOOSE HOPE ON ME

Synopsis: 3 years of being away from your family, your brother. All to follow your dream of being an idol. What’s going to happen when your company says you can’t date but you just found the hottest guy in your grade? Will you go on with your dream, or sacrifice it?

Content: high school, sfw!!, angst lowk, fem reader in mind, slight slow burn??, lowk one sided for a few chapters, kys jokes, fat jokes erm, yn lowk op, characters may be ooc, umm you have a pet rabbit surprise!! Made up characters.

Status: ongoing - just started (bites nails)

profiles:

Spotlight on us (not y/n & tsuki tho) | b b b ballers

Chapters:

Milkshake (disaster)

Top 10 coming home videos

Not my type

Tba

If I see another chatfic or smau, or wtv it's called, and y/n starts whipping out the "sowwy", all caps text, and other cringy shit, wallahi I'm logging off.

Cuz how can you type that out and not be hella embarrassed... I'm getting second-hand embarrassment just reading it fam 💀

Flipping hell, now I'm getting pissed off.

P.s. this is my opinion, so im sorry if I somehow offended someone 🙏🏼

“Long day?”

Ft: K. Bakugo, I. Midoriya, H. Sero, D. Kaminari, E. Kirishima, S. Todoroki, And H. Shinsou

Warnings: None, SFW!! MDNI.

Summary: You had a long day, And you need your boyfriend!

Note: This is my first smau, Requests are open :p

TAKE AIM (character introduction)

baseball player!hawks x dancer!reader smau

takami keigo is a living legend in japan as the best baseball player not only in his country, but in the whole world. however he also happens to be the nightmare of every PR, especially with the recent turn of events that move all the media spotlight on himself. reader is a known face in the world of dancing battles, after years of taking part into all kinds of competitions and sharing choreography videos on their social media platforms, they finally decided to create a dancing equipe. everything changes, however, when a mysterious accident occurs and steals away all their dreams and hopes for the future.

trigger warning: injuries, dark themes, possible sexual content (in the future), violence, mentions of drug and abuse. before you read: minors DO NOT interact. I will be inconsistent with the updates. english is not my first language, please let me know if I make any mistakes. this is my first time writing a smau, any tips and constructive criticism are welcome!

honourable mentions:

HII!!!

i loveloveLOVE ur smau’s, could u do one for katsuki bakugo? enemies to lovers ?? the storyline and stuff can be anything u want.

pls feel free to add any details u want 😭😭

and no pressure !!!

technical foul | k. bakugo

you're vice captain to his captain on the soccer team. working together was never the problem. staying out of each other's way was.

aizawa with a pro hero that always get paired up together (did i mention they hate eachother to the point they cant stand eachother)

standard procedure | s. aizawa

you and aizawa constantly get partnered for fieldwork. the job is clean. the dynamic, not so much.

Please bakugo friends to lover! User and him started texting bc of a group project then it goes from there when he texts them constantly if they are missing class or didn’t show up to school at all

standard deviation | k. bakugo

the plan was to finish the slides and turn in your project. not get used to talking every night.

hi cool person!!! i was wondering if you could do texting iida? like any context, but just make it iida as our bf or friends to lovers or something. thankss

manual override | t. iida

dating tenya iida is like loving a perfectly alphabetized fire drill—structured, intense, and somehow exactly what you needed.

MORE TOMU SMAUS PLEASEEEE 😼

temporary housing | t. shigaraki

you let him crash for a week. it's been three months and you're starting to miss him when he's not on the couch.

OBVIOUSLY NOT FORCING BUT MORE SERO HANTA SMAUS PLEASE YOU SMAUS ARE SO GOOD I NEED MORE AND SERO IS HUZZ😔🤍

low dose | h. sero

in which you didn't expect to like your dealer, but he keeps replying to your overly enthusiastic texts like it's normal.

Hiii so I was wondering if MAYBE you could do a smau with Denki abt reader being jealous of Jiro (Denki x reader/friend to lovers ?) (Pls pls pls)

off the clock | d. kaminari

you and denki are coworkers, best friends, and almost something more—until he starts spending all his time with jirou. now you're just trying your best to not care.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ON MY KNEES FOR AN IZUKU SMAU WITH HIM AND MC CRUSHING ON EACH OTHER SOOO BAD BUT THEY'RE TWO IDIOTS WHO GO: "oh they wanna hang out one on one? Damn we're such good friends"

just us? | i. midoriya

just two best friends hanging out one-on-one every weekend, doing couple things, and totally not dating (yet)

ur so funny pls😭😭😭 plsplsplspls more shiggy and tamaki BLESS UP

chaotic neutral | t. shigaraki

you work the graveyard shift at a 24/7 convenience store. unfortunately, so does he.

Hey, I love all your SMAU’s so much, I was wondering if maybe you could do one that’s Aizawa x reader and they have a kid together?

I think it would be so cute, if not that’s ok, I love your smau’s so much

dorm life, parent life | s. aizawa

co-parenting with aizawa was already hard enough. now you're doing it in the middle of the ua dorms.

alley rose | k. takami

you know he's not yours, but you'd still pick him in every lifetime. the worst part? he'd let you. (2785 words)

you never meant to fall into it.

and maybe that's the problem.

because things that fall tend to break, and you? you've never been particularly good at knowing when to catch yourself.

it starts with nothing. not even a spark, not a clear moment. no dramatic beginning. no pivotal shift in atmosphere. he just... shows up one night. stands in the doorway of your apartment with wind in his hair and fatigue under his eyes and a grin that looks like it's trying to apologize for both.

you don't remember who invited him. maybe he just appeared. you wouldn't put it past him.

you only remember letting him in.

he takes up space easily. like he's always belonged there. like the couch remembers his weight. like your walls never had a choice in loving the sound of his voice.

he doesn't say much. he never really has to.

he leans against the kitchen counter while you make tea, not even asking what kind, just accepting the mug with his usual crooked smile and a quiet, "you're a saint."

he doesn't drink it.

he just holds it between his hands, steam rising between his fingers like an offering he doesn't quite believe he deserves.

you sit in silence for a while. the kind of silence that feels earned. he doesn't fill it with nonsense. he lets it exist between you, thick and soft and settled like dust on a bookshelf no one has the heart to clean.

"you don't sleep much, huh?" he says eventually, with the kind of voice that makes the night lean in to listen.

you shrug. "not when the world's this loud."

he nods like he understands. like he feels it too. maybe he does.

he spends the night—not in your bed, never in your bed—but on the couch. boots off, one arm lazily thrown over his eyes like the darkness is too much. there's tension in his shoulders even when he sleeps.

you watch him from the doorway longer than you should. tell yourself it's because he's in your home. that you're being cautious.

it's not that.

it's never that.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ

he returns three nights later.

you don't ask why.

he starts showing up regularly. not every night, but often enough that you start leaving the door unlocked out of habit. he never uses a key. he always knocks, even when it's past midnight, even when you're both pretending he hasn't been there three times this week.

he doesn't talk about work. never talks about heroes or headlines or what happens after he walks out of your door and lets the world chew him up again.

you don't ask.

you offer him a space. warmth. the silence he pretends not to need.

he offers... something else. something half-shaped. a hand on your back when you pass each other in the kitchen. a smirk when you call him out on it. snacks left on the counter. a blanket draped over your shoulders when you fall asleep on the couch, though he'll swear it wasn't him.

and one night, when you're both sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor with half a bottle of something nameless between you, he leans in and kisses you.

it's not hungry. not sharp. not even all that deep.

it's lazy. gentle. like he forgot himself and remembered you in the same breath.

when he pulls back, he just grins. "nice lips," he murmurs. "don't let anyone tell you different."

and then he's gone.

you press your fingers to your mouth and pretend it didn't mean anything. pretend it was just a drunk impulse. a thing he does. a fluke.

you tell yourself it won't happen again.

it does.

not the kiss—but the weight of it. the imprint.

the moments start to blur together. late night dinners. half-slept mornings. you learn the exact sound his jacket makes when it hits your couch. the rhythm of his breath when he falls asleep sitting up. the way his voice drops when he's tired, softening like he's forgotten he's not supposed to be real around you.

you learn how to love him without touching him.

he makes it easy.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ

you don't talk about what this is.

not once.

not when he brings you takeout and eats with you in silence. not when he falls asleep with his head on your shoulder. not when he disappears for four days and comes back without a word and looks at you like he never left.

you tell yourself it doesn't matter.

because he's not cruel.

he never leads you on—not really. never calls you his. never asks you to stay. never says he loves you.

he just makes it feel like he does.

and maybe that's worse.

maybe if he'd been colder, you would've walked away by now. maybe if he'd kissed you like he didn't mean it, you wouldn't still taste him in your coffee. maybe if he didn't smile like you were the only person in the room—maybe then you'd be able to sleep at night without checking your phone for his name.

but he does. and you can't.

you try to pretend it's fine.

you're adults. capable of detachment. you know how this goes. some people just need somewhere to land. someone who doesn't ask questions. someone who lets them rest.

you can be that.

and for a while, you convince yourself you're okay with it.

because sometimes he looks at you and you think—maybe.

maybe this could be something.

maybe he just needs time.

maybe you're the only one who sees him like this—tired and soft and human.

maybe that matters.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ

one night, he cooks for you.

it's a disaster. the pasta overboils, the sauce burns, and he sets off your smoke alarm because he forgets how sensitive it is.

you sit on the floor with him, coughing and laughing, fanning smoke with a magazine while he yells at your ceiling.

when it finally clears, he sits beside you. knees touching. arms brushing. smelling like burnt garlic and relief.

he doesn't kiss you that night.

but he falls asleep in your lap, and you thread your fingers through his hair and pretend he's yours.

he's not.

but he lets you pretend.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ

"you're good at this," he says once, curled up in your blanket, the ends of his hair brushing your collarbone.

"what?"

"letting me stay."

you don't answer.

he doesn't expect you to.

˚⊹ ᰔ

you kiss again, weeks later.

it's different.

it's not light or easy or careless. it's slow. warm. aching.

he holds your face like it's glass. kisses you like he's afraid to stop. touches you like he's saying something he doesn't have the words for.

and afterward, he rests his forehead against yours and murmurs, "you always feel like home."

and you wonder if maybe this is something.

maybe this is real.

but then he gets up. leaves without looking back. and you stay awake all night, staring at the ceiling, wondering what you did wrong.

˚⊹ ᰔ

your friends start to notice.

"you've been distracted," one of them says.

"i'm fine," you lie.

they don't press. but they look at you like they know.

you delete the messages you want to send him. never hit call. never ask where he is when he disappears for days, weeks, reappears with new bruises and an easy smile and nothing in his eyes.

you pretend not to care.

but your hands shake when you wash his mug.

˚⊹ ᰔ

he shows up again.

you open the door. he looks tired.

you don't ask why.

he leans against the frame like he belongs there. like he knows you'll let him in.

and you do.

he doesn't kiss you this time. doesn't speak.

he just lays beside you on the couch. not touching. not sleeping. just breathing.

you turn your head.

he doesn't look at you.

you wonder if he's already left.

˚⊹ ᰔ

you don't remember the last time he said your name.

you don't remember the last time you said no.

˚⊹ ᰔ

there's no end. not yet.

there's just the quiet stretch of something wearing thin. the slow suffocation of wanting too much from someone who never offered you anything in the first place.

you tell yourself it's fine.

you knew what this was.

he never said it would be more.

but you wish—god, you wish—he hadn't made it feel so much like love.

because now, you don't know how to unfeel it.

you don't know how to stop opening the door when he knocks. how to stop hearing your name in the silence between his sentences. how to stop hoping.

and worst of all?

you don't want to.

not yet.

maybe not ever.

˚⊹ ᰔ

you don't talk about it.

the situation. the dynamic. the... thing between you.

there's no language for it. not really.

it's not a relationship. not a friendship. not even a fling.

but it's something. it has weight. it has presence. it takes up room in your life and your chest and your plans and your future in the way real things are supposed to. only it doesn't behave like something real. it behaves like a ghost with too much nerve. a shadow that leaves fingerprints on your heart but disappears when the light comes on.

you try to explain it to a friend once. someone who notices the way you pause when your phone buzzes. the way your smile flickers when it doesn't.

"is it serious?" they ask.

you open your mouth, but nothing comes out.

because how do you explain it? how do you articulate the emotional toll of being almost loved?

so you shrug. "it's nothing."

you lie.

but you shouldn't have to.

˚⊹ ᰔ

hawks—no, keigo, because he insists you call him that when you're alone, like that somehow makes him more honest—isn't cruel.

that's what you keep coming back to.

he never promises you anything. never strings you along with declarations or dates or matching mugs in the cupboard. he doesn't label this. doesn't even try.

but he lets you sit close. lets you hold his wrist when he's pacing and won't tell you what's wrong. lets you run your fingers through his hair when he comes back with blood under his nails.

he lets you treat him like someone you love.

and in return?

he lets you pretend he loves you back.

˚⊹ ᰔ

you try to find clarity in the small things.

like in the way he leans toward you in crowds. the way his eyes soften when he hands you a drink. the way he listens when you talk about things that don't matter.

but the truth is, affection doesn't equal intention.

and you're tired of translating his silence into possibility.

˚⊹ ᰔ

he disappears for two weeks.

no warning. no explanation. just gone.

the first few days you check your phone constantly. reread old messages. try to remember if you said something wrong. if you asked for too much. if he finally got bored of the emotional middle ground you let him live in.

the silence grows louder.

by the time the seventh day passes, it becomes a roar in your head.

you don't call. you don't text.

you tell yourself it's a boundary.

it's not. it's fear.

because if you reach out first, you won't like the answer.

˚⊹ ᰔ

he shows up on a tuesday.

doesn't knock. just opens your door like nothing's happened. like it hasn't been days since he last looked at you. like he didn't vanish into the wind and leave you to rot in your own expectations.

he drops his bag by the couch. throws himself down and stretches like a cat, muscles flexing under his shirt, wings shifting slightly.

"miss me?" he says with a grin.

your heart cracks. so quietly, so precisely, you barely feel it.

you sit beside him. don't say anything.

he throws an arm around your shoulder like this is normal. like you're normal.

"sorry," he says casually. "work stuff."

you nod.

he doesn't elaborate.

you don't ask.

and the silence between you stops being safe. it becomes suffocating.

˚⊹ ᰔ

you start pulling away in increments.

you don't make him tea anymore when he shows up. you don't wait for him to call. you stop folding his jacket when he leaves it draped over your chair. you stop making room in your drawer for the little things he forgets behind.

and he notices. of course he does.

he notices the tension in your jaw when he touches you. the fact that you turn your face away when he leans in like he might kiss you. the way you no longer meet his eyes when you say goodnight.

he doesn't say anything.

but one night, when you're both watching some movie neither of you are paying attention to, he speaks into the dark.

"you okay?"

you hesitate.

then: "i'm tired."

he hums. "long day?"

you don't answer, and he doesn't ask again.

˚⊹ ᰔ

your friends start asking questions. real ones.

"is this working for you?" "what do you want out of this?" "are you happy?"

you laugh them off.

but the ache in your chest lingers.

because no. you're not happy. not really.

you're in love with someone who only shows up when it's convenient. who never shares the parts of himself that matter. who touches you with familiar hands but guards his heart like it's state property.

and you? you've built a home out of his shadows. you've memorized a version of him that doesn't even belong to you.

you don't want to do this anymore.

˚⊹ ᰔ

but you still do.

because it's better than nothing.

because the alternative is letting him go.

and that feels like losing something you never got to keep in the first place.

˚⊹ ᰔ

then one night, it changes.

not loudly. not dramatically.

just... changes.

you're sitting on the floor again, legs stretched in front of you, a blanket around your shoulders and the tv on low. keigo's beside you, but not touching. for once, there's real distance.

you glance at him.

he's staring at the screen, eyes unfocused.

you don't recognize his expression.

you whisper, "why do you keep coming here?"

he blinks. looks at you. "what do you mean?"

you shrug. "i mean... you never talk. you disappear. you show up without warning. and i let you. every time. i don't ask for anything, and you know that."

he stays quiet.

"so why do you keep coming back?"

the silence stretches. you think maybe he won't answer.

then he says, soft: "because you're the only place i don't have to lie."

your stomach twists.

because that should mean something. it almost does.

but then you realize—

he's not saying he wants you. he's saying he likes what you give him.

peace. comfort. quiet.

you're not a person to him. you're a haven.

and he never had any intention of staying.

you breathe in, slowly, and nod.

"okay."

he looks at you, confused. "okay?"

you stand. your knees ache. your chest does too.

"you can go now."

he rises slowly, uncertainty flickering across his face for the first time. "what?"

you repeat it. "you can go."

he studies you. then smiles, like it's a joke. "don't be dramatic."

you stare at him. "i'm not."

something in his expression falters. "look," he says. "i didn't mean to—"

"i know," you say. "that's the problem."

he goes quiet again.

you continue, softer now. "you didn't mean to kiss me. or stay. or sleep here. or come back. or look at me like that. or make me feel like you wanted something real. and you think that's enough. that because you never said you cared, you didn't have to."

his mouth opens, then closes.

you're tired. so, so tired.

"you never had to lie to hurt me, keigo," you whisper. "you just had to let me believe you wanted me here."

he doesn't argue. he doesn't reach for you. he just stands there.

quiet.

just like always.

you don't ask him again to leave.

he just does. eventually.

without slamming the door. without saying goodbye.

and maybe that's what breaks you.

because there's nothing dramatic to hold on to. no final fight. no angry words. no declarations.

just absence.

and that hurts more than anything else.

˚⊹ ᰔ

you sit in the quiet after he's gone. your blanket falls off your shoulders and you don't pick it up. you sit there until the sun starts to rise.

and when your phone buzzes hours later, you don't check it.

because you already know—

it's not him.

it never really was.