Gravity Falls X Oc - Blog Posts

Contract pt. 2

word count: 39,011

Fandom: Gravity Falls Pairing: Stanley Pines x Alvah (OC) Pronouns: He/She/They (usually goes be she/her) Relationship: Problematic Occupation: Guardian Ability: Demonic Powers

Since the individual is a resident of the Nightmare Realm, while also being the embodiment of evil from across multiple dimensions, the power they have is almost unlimited. They are capable of traveling to different dimensions throughout the multiverse but when they do step foot in such dimensions their powers become limited unless they are able to form a contract, similar to Bill through his deals, that allows them to have full access to their powers. They are capable of shapeshifting their appearance to blend in with the locals or at least influence the minds of those who set their eyes on them, but if there were anyone to bear witness to their true form, their own minds would destroy itself and drive them into madness.

Keys:

n/a

Warnings:

blood, violence, and spoilers for those who haven't read the book of bill.

"Contract" pt. 1, pt.3

there are bound to be mistakes in here that I a. missed or b. could not be fucked fixing.

season 2, episode 12. a tale of two stans

Her eyes widened slightly when Ford pulled the gun strapped to his back and aimed it at her, causing her to halt in her tracks and stare at the end of the barrel. She raised her hands and opened her mouth to say something but he had already pulled the trigger and a beam shot out of the gun and shot right through her face, taking out the entirety of the left side of her face.

"Alvah!" Stan shouts, this causes Ford to flinch and slowly lower his gun and stare at the woman in front of him. Her remaining eye slowly moved to look at the giant-sized hole in her face, and instead of the red substance known as blood dripping down her face, there was a black-like tar oozing out and dripping down the side of her body. Her eye looked back towards Ford and the shocked expression slowly twisted into a sadistic grin as maniacal laughter erupted out of her, a black smoke with a red glow burst out of the gaping hole in her face that was full of eyes staring at him. She raised her hand and gestured to the shadow to return inside where it escaped from before hovering her hand over the wound on her face and healing it, the way it healed was odd. Instead of seeing skin weave itself back together, her skin was like a shattered porcelain doll slowly putting itself together piece by piece.

"Is that how you greet an old friend, Stanford?" she asked after the last crack was sealed up, and it was as if she was never broken in the first place.

"Alvah, I... I didn't recognize you." he spoke as he looked her up and down, she did the same thing and sighed.

"That's on me, I suppose. This isn't a form you're accustomed to seeing." they all watched as she approached Ford, placing a hand on his shoulder that slowly glided across to his other shoulder when she moved behind him, soon both of her hands were on his shoulders but when she peeked out they were surprised to see that she-- or rather, HE looked different "This one was more to your liking, was it not?" even his voice made them shudder. Dipper and Mabel take a closer look at Alvah, and their jaws drop when they recognize him, it is him. It was the mystery man from McGucket’s memory that none of them had any recollection of, the man who was the cause of McGucket’s decline in sanity.

"I see you've not grasped the concept of personal space in the years I have been gone." he let out a laugh as he wrapped his arms around Ford's neck, nuzzling his cheek against his more rugged one.

"Nope. But I've missed you, Fordsy~" he cooed out, he snickered and pulled away when Ford aimed the gun at his face again, raising his hands up in surrender "You know those human weapons aren't going to work on me, but it is a pain to fix these bodies. That was the first time it was damaged since I first made it." he let out a huff as he lowered his weapon.

"Then it's a good thing that they can even penetrate a body like yours." he looked towards his brother again, who was staring at the both of them in shock, and grumbled when he felt Alvah's hands caressing his body "What are you doing now?" he let out a grunt when the end of his coat was lifted up a little as his hands glided up and down his torso, squeezing it a little before moving up to his biceps.

"I see you've bulked up a little throughout your travels. You're not that puny little stick that would get blown over by a small gust of wind." Ford sweat dropped when he pulled his hands back, wiping away the imaginary tear running down his face while sniffling a little "I can't help but be a little... proud." he laughed when Ford pushed him away by the face.

"Enough of your needless chatter, devil." Alvah let out a laugh as he lifted himself off the ground, floating in front of Ford with a cheeky grin.

"A devil you summoned to care for your loved ones." Ford let out a sigh at Alvah's childish behavior, seems he hasn't changed a bit. He turned towards the audience staring at them in bewilderment as Alvah hovered close behind him, his head hovering over his shoulder with his long black hair draping itself over his shoulder "I did as our contract stated, Ford. I kept your loved ones, and their loves ones, alive." his eyes zoned in on the poor state they were in and glared at Alvah.

"You were supposed to protect them, Alvah! Protect and keep them out of danger!" now this caused him to scoff as he rolled off of Ford's shoulder, he continued to float in front of him as he snapped his fingers and they all watched as his hand burst into a black and red flame and a scroll formed in his hands that slowly unraveled. In a text they could not understand, except for Ford himself, Alvah pointed to a specific section.

"It says I am to keep your loved ones alive. Not keep them out of danger, nor protect them. As long as they do not die under my watch, I haven't broken our contract." he shrugged his shoulders as Ford took the contract, reading over it to see that it in fact, did say that "Perhaps you should have worded it like that." he lowered the contract and glared up at Alvah, who continued to grin.

"You..." he then sighed.

"But it's also my fault that I got stuck here for thirty years." this caused him to raise a brow, Alvah points to a different section this time "For the time you are not in Gravity Falls, I am to remain here until you return. That was technically to protect your research and whatnot, but I never would have thought to change it when you disappeared." this managed to crack a smirk on his face.

"So you could not return to the Nightmare Realm?" this caused him to scowl.

"No, no I could not."

"Hang on, hang on." they both look to where Stanley spoke up, approaching the two of them with a confused expression "You... you two know each other? And Alvah, you're... a man?" Ford shook his head with a sigh.

"Yes, we know each other. I am the one who assigned him to take care of things in my absence, but I see that he failed to stop you from reactivating the portal." he just shrugged.

"And for me being a man, well, no." they watch as he lowered himself to the ground "I am neither man nor woman, I am not a being that can be identified by something like sex or pronouns. I am an interdimensional being, an embodiment of all that is evil. An amalgamation of evil from across multiple dimensions and parallel worlds. I am... evil itself." he looked even more confused, Ford raised his hand in front of Alvah's face.

"He is quite literally the embodiment of all that is evil, created in the Nightmare Realm that managed to gain a consciousness." he nods.

"In simpler terms, yes. My name wasn't even Alvah, to begin with," he then gestures to the man beside him "Ford is the one who bestowed the name "Alvah" onto me because he didn't want to call me by my title." this caused him to huff, pushing his glasses up a little.

"The Harbinger of Chaos is hardly a name." he shrugged, he winced when he was flicked in the nose.

"You were trying to be sweet when you gave me the name as well, not knowing that the biblical meaning behind "Alvah" means evil." he then chuckled, leaning back and allowing his body to float again while resting his head in his hands "It's the reason I even kept the name." Ford sniffled.

"Wait!" turning their heads, they see Dipper looking up at Alvah in shock while flipping through the pages of the third journal "Harbinger of Chaos? That's you? That was you, Alvah?" Ford's eyes widened at the sight of his journal, along with the fact that there were children present, now that he fully registered it.

"Aw~ you read my chapter. He said some real nice things about me, didn't he?" Dipper gasped when Alvah snapped his fingers and the journal disappeared from his grasp, he read through a couple of lines and snickered softly while showing Ford "With the few details I gave you, I think you captured my likeliness rather nicely." he tried taking the journal from him but this only caused Alvah to laugh and pull it away from Ford's reach.

"Alvah, give it back to me!" he laughed.

"Nuh-uh, it's his now." with that he tossed it back over to Dipper, who just barely caught it "He managed to find it all on his own, I don't think that hiding spot was good enough. A different snot-nosed brat managed to find your second journal as well, so you're not good at hiding things."

"Right." he cleared his throat and dusted himself off, Alvah floated behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders "It seems you already know who Alvah is, but allow me to properly introduce him. This is the Harbinger of Chaos, a being I contacted to keep my research safe and those I care about alive." he glared at Alvah, who snickered beside him.

"And you only did it because things went south for you. You never would have formed a contract with me if he didn't--" Ford promptly slapped his hand across his mouth, silencing him.

"They do not need to know the full details." Alvah scoffed and pushed his hands away, his eyes then moved to where Stan stood along with the kids.

"Other than that, he is correct. From the time you all stepped foot in Gravity Falls, I have been watching every little thing you've done. Every. Little. Thing." when he said that he booped them each on the nose "However, I am not allowed to directly interfere with what you do with your daily lives. So with each adventure you've been on, I was just watching in the shadows and making sure you didn't die at the end of the day. Like so." with a snap of his fingers, a burst of smoke formed in front of them that was playing back to each adventure. If they were being honest, it always felt like they were being watched, but seeing it for themselves, made them shudder "At times I had to rush you for you to get to places in time, at others I would manipulate the background to help you."

season 1

for the gnomes, she knew mabel would be walking into a trap to become the gnome queen and hurried dipper along to go save her.

when the "sea monster" was trapped in the cave entrance, she snapped her fingers so when it was thrashing, a particularly large chunk of debris would fall and make it malfunction.

made the sun rise so that the wax figures would melt.

spoke to mabel to get her to hurry along and stop gideon from killing dipper.

couldn't do much but would have stepped in if the ghosts were going to kill dipper, mabel and the other teenagers.

kept an eye on dipper in case the manotaurs or the multi-bear were going to double cross him.

kept her eye on the doubles if they overpowered dipper and would set off the sprinklers if things went south.

their lives weren't particularly in danger but if they got too far from gravity falls she would have chased after them herself.

each time they went back in time she was there to make sure they didn't get stuck in that point of time.

made sure mabel and stan wouldn't fall to their death and would prevent dipper from getting too hurt against rumble.

kept a close eye on the twins when gideon shrunk them down as well as stan if they didn't figure out he was ticklish.

kept her eye on the summerween trickster so he didn't get too close to the kids, almost interfered if soos didn't eat it from the inside.

if they weren't able to apprehend the monster she would have interfered.

no real threat.

just kept a close eye on them.

kept a close eye on the children in case they weren't able to figure out the body swapping.

no real threat.

was there to help them save waddles, but if push turned to shove, she would have interfered.

was the one to keep bill in check and save the children, stan and soos from intentionally losing to bill. 

would have killed that little brat gideon if he did serious damage to the twins.

season 2

was there to protect the children and stan from becoming zombie food.

distracted the shapeshifter when they were in the caves and would have killed it if they didn't manage to capture it in the cryo-pod.

would have set the mini-golf park on fire if those little "golf people" really did hurt the children.

made sure bill didn't do anything "too" bad to dipper when he took his body.

kept her eye on giffany and would have short-circuited the place if things got out of hand.

no real threat.

was the one that got mcgucket moving so he could protect them from getting their mind erased by his memory gun.

kept her eye on the children when they went through globnar.

she and the love god kind of know each other, so she threatened that little cherub to not do anything funny while she was there.

kept her eye on them but couldn't do much with that ghost lingering.

"I now see what you meant by just "keeping them alive", Alvah." he just giggled with a shrug.

"I have seen every possibility, every timeline, every choice, every win, and every failure you have ever chosen. I know the outcome of every scenario, and even today, I knew would be the day Stanley succeeds in finishing the portal to bring Ford back to his original dimension." this revelation slowly caused Stan to look up at him.

"So... did that mean you knew that my brother would be trapped in the first place?" this caused them to look at him, a hint of betrayal in his eyes as he looked towards Alvah "If you were watching that whole time, did that mean you could have helped me save my brother? You could have helped me speed up the process instead of watching me wallow in misery for thirty years as I tried to fix my mistake?!" Alvah, whose face was blank as he stared down at Stan, blinked slowly before a soft but pained smile appeared across his lips.

"Yes, I could have." Stan's face slowly scrunched up in anger as he grabbed a hold of Alvah, pulling him close.

"You did nothing! You could have done something to help me, but you didn't! You said you were on my side... you said..." Alvah exhaled deeply through his nose as he gently took Stan by his wrists and pulled them off him, he lowered his face and gave him a sympathetic look.

"I would have if I could have." he spoke, Stan takes his hands back from Alvah as he refused to look at him "There are events in this timeline that I am not allowed to prevent or speed up. Thirty years ago, your brother was meant to go through that portal, he was meant to be trapped and it was on this day at this time that he was meant to return because of you and your efforts."

"Still, you could have helped me." this caused Alvah to sigh.

"Alright, let me break it down for you." they watch the smoke disappear when he slaps his hands together and then pulls them apart, they watch a blue thread surround the room as he pulls his hands away. He floats off the ground and starts looking through the thread before finding a specific one, he brings himself down and holds it out in front of them "Here is the timeline we are currently in. Here it contains every event that's occurred leading up to today. See how the thread is flowing smoothly? No hiccups or anything. My interferences are minor, and it doesn't cause any damage. Now let's go back thirty years, to the day where all this began." he pulls the thread back and it stops at a park that was glowing bright, he enhances on it, and they see in both awe and shock the exact moment Stan accidentally pushed Ford into the portal.

"Now let's say I did help you on the reconstruction of the portal, say instead, that it took us a couple weeks or months to get it fixed and we bring Ford back. Ta-dah, the day is saved." pulling his hand back a thread branches out from the original one and expands out "Because of this change, a new timeline is created out of the original; a new story is born. So, what happens to the original one?" his hand hovers under the original thread and they flinch when he closed his hand over it, crushing it beneath his palm and severing it completely "It's effectively destroyed and erased like it never existed, meaning everything that's happened so far never-- or rather, it never WILL happen. And even so, I'll get into serious trouble if I were to mess with serious events in the timeline."

"But, like," Alvah makes everything disappear when Mabel spoke, looking all nervous under his gaze "aren't you like a super powerful being? Can't you break the rules? Couldn't you have helped Grunkle Stan save his brother?" this caused him to chuckle, kneeling to Mabel's level so his drastic change in height didn't scare or overwhelm her.

"I find it flattering that you think I'm oh so powerful, I am, and I do tend to bend the rules a little bit, but if I were to break this..." they watch his already pale skin turn paler as fear struck his face, he's now curled up in a ball while clutching his head "I'll get in trouble with... them. It's been thirty years, and I've neglected my duties because I was stuck here, they're gonna yell at me." the sound that escapes him is like a whine like croak.

"Ah hem, uh, who exactly is them?" he points at Dipper, shaking his head.

"Someone you don't wanna know and don't wanna cross. They may seem all nice and mystical, and sure they're an extra-dimensional being that could wipe out my very existence but doesn't because if they do then they're erasing the very aspect of evil and they can't have that because it's just a pain... anyways, they're basically god." he lets out a sigh, pressing his hand against his forehead "So you see, Stanley, I couldn't help you even if I wanted to. The only thing I was allowed to do was... watch." his shoulders slump when Stan refused to look at him.

"So, when you say you're evil..." 

"I am every bad choice you make, every selfish action, every terrible mistake. You could say I'm like that devil on your shoulder telling you to ignore the angel."

"So, you tell us to do bad things?"

"Pft, no. I'm just giving you the option, I'm not telling you to do anything. You're the one who chose it in the end, so that technically makes you a bad person." he then shrugged his shoulders, they then point up at him.

"Then what about old man McGucket? We saw that memory of you two, or the woman you. You two were arguing about something." he then let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair and messing with it.

"I went to see him to say sorry, and what did I get in return for my efforts? I got shot in the face!" he looked at Ford and saw him looking up at him in confusion "It was back when you two were first testing out the portal and he got sucked in by accident, remember how he lost his mind because he saw something that freaked him out?" he nodded his head.

"Yes? It was what convinced me to quit the project." he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hehe, yeah, well he saw... me." they all stare at him in confusion, not understanding what seeing him mea-- they were taken aback when Ford grabbed him by the arms and started shaking him.

"You mean Fiddleford saw you? He saw the real you?!" Alvah manages to rip himself free from Ford's hold and push him back.

"Yes! But it was completely by accident. We figured you two were getting close to finishing the portal but we didn't realize just how quickly, so imagine my surprise when I was relaxing in the Nightmare Realm and some scrawny little human poked his head through a hole in our dimension." he can almost remember it like it was yesterday, just casually relaxing in the Nightmare Realm because there's basically nothing to do except laze around when a hole opened up. Curiously, they did approach it and concluded that Ford and his little assistant Fiddle-whatshisname had finally managed to successfully finish the portal, but what caught them by surprise was when a head poked through. They recognized the human as Ford's assistant, they tilted their head to the side as they stared at him while the human looked up at them and their face slowly morphed into one of pure terror.

"You... aren't supposed to be here." they spoke, voice disoriented through the chaos that was their body. They sighed softly when the human screamed in fear so they did the only sane thing they could think of, they raised their hand and pushed him right back where he came from, and the hole disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.

"What was that?" looking over they see Bill approach them, his singular eye tinged with curiosity.

"I believe your toy has finally finished his project." this made the triangular figure glow with glee, clapping his hands joyfully as he floated circles around their head "Congratulations, Bill. You're finally getting your doomsday." he let out a laugh as he hovered in front of their face.

"I know, right? I'm gonna go round up the others!" ah, good times, he then shrugs his shoulders.

"He saw my real body and I pushed him out before any more damage could be done, or if he saw anyone else." Ford starts rubbing his temples to ease the forming headache, Mabel raises her hand "Yes?"

"What does having seen your body have anything to do with McGucket going coo-coo?" he opens his mouth to speak but stops when Dipper opens the journal.

"Oh, I know the answer to that. It says here that since their body is made of all the evil throughout countless dimensions, parallel worlds, and alternate universes their body is so corrupted that if anyone were to gaze upon their true form then their minds would slowly descend into madness from all the chaos stored into one being." Alvah snaps his fingers.

"Ding, ding, ding. You are correct." he then sighs again "Because of that and our contract, I went to say sorry but even in a different form Fidds still recognized me and lost his mind. I tried to calm him down but in the end, he made me lose my temper and then I got shot with the memory gun." Ford heard him use the nickname he usually used for Fiddleford, sputtering a little when he used it.

"Fidds?" Alvah laughed.

"Oh, yeah! Ever since you kids helped him jog his memory, he came to me and asked, or more like demanded, I tell him everything he's forgotten. So once a week I'd visit him to help him remember what he's forgotten, we've gotten quite close since then." he winks at Ford, shrugging his shoulders as he floated off the ground again and wrapped his arms around his neck to nuzzle into his cheek once more "Aren't you happy we're getting along? You always scolded me when I made fun of him." he snickers when he started pushing him off again, struggling against Alvah's iron grip.

"Sure, but I'm not happy that he spiraled so deep because of my mistake." Alvah hummed softly.

"Then what are you going to do now?" this caused him to look up at the demonic being, he pulled himself away and smirked at him "Now that you're back, I have completed my end of our contract. But how about we extend it a little longer?" Ford narrowed his eyes on him.

"What do you mean?" Alvah placed a finger on his chin as he looked up in thought.

"Well, since Stanley opened the portal a second time, the connection between this dimension and the Nightmare Realm has gotten stronger. Who knows how long until Bill forces his way through, and the end of the world happens." a look of concern immediately crossed his face, he looks away to think but gasped softly when Alvah was directly right in front of him "Extend our contract, Stanford, and I'll continue to keep you and your family alive. I'll make sure Bill doesn't come into contact with them this time. I'll make sure he won't be able to make deals with them like he did with Dipper. You can leave their well-being to me while you focus on keeping him at bay." his gaze hardened on the man floating in front of him, showing off those pearly whites that could tear him to shreds.

"... the last time I didn't listen to you, I was met with betrayal and nearly lost my mind." Alvah was silenced when Ford glared at him, knowing what he was going to mutter "If we change up the conditions of the contract... then so be it." Alvah's grin returned, this time stretching from ear to ear as he clapped his hands.

"You made a fine choice, Stanford!" snapping his fingers, the contract reappeared before them once more. A red spark of lightning shot out of his finger, and he changed that he was able to come and go from this dimension to the Nightmare Realm whether Ford was in Gravity Falls or not, Ford himself changed up the part where Alvah was to protect his family instead of just keep them alive. They made a few more changes here and there before concluding that they were satisfied with the new contract, Alvah grins as he reads through it "Now, until the defeat of Bill Cipher, I am to protect your family from any potential dangers while making sure you don't make any past mistakes. In return, I have more access to my powers while I am in this dimension, and I can do whatever I want as long as no human gets hurt in the process." Ford reads through it one more time before nodding his head.

"Yes... I am satisfied with the changes to the contract."

"Wonderful!" they watch as both Ford and Alvah lift their thumbs to their mouths before biting into their flesh hard enough to get it to bleed, they hover their open wound over the contract and let a few droplets get on the golden parchment until Alvah snaps his fingers again and the palm of his hand burst into flames. This time a quill appeared, and he used the blood as ink to sign his name then he gave the quill to Ford to do the same, after he finished signing it Alvah felt a surge of power course through his body "Oh, yeah. Now that's what I'm talking about!"

"Just remember to keep up your end of the contract." he only grinned as the contract rolled up and flew into his hand, it disappears when he closed his hand into a fist.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." his hands were then enveloped with a bright yet dark red flame, he stared at the smoldering flame before waving it off and booping Ford on the nose "With that I'll finally take my leave and return to the Nightmare Realm." this caused the others to stare in shock.

"You're leaving?" he laughed softly.

"Yeah, but not forever. I've been away from my real body for thirty years and I need to go and check up on it to see if I'm alright. I might be a little stiff for being away from it for so long." he then crossed his arms with a smile "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you'd miss me." the twins look at each other, still a little intimidated under the gaze of his red eyes, but they did nod a little.

"We'd like to think that you didn't lie to us this entire summer, Alvah. That the woman we've been hanging around didn't just look after us because of a contract, that you genuinely did it out of the kindness of your heart." this comment caused the smile on his face to drop a little, his face twitching as guilt ate at his nonexistent heart.

"I..." he couldn't finish his sentence and instead turned towards Ford, they let out a sigh but then gasped softly when something was thrown at them, Mabel was able to catch it and when they saw what it was their eyes widened "Take a look at that when you're not busy. You might find something worthwhile." it was his memory tube they were searching for that they couldn't find, he winked at them before finally turning away. Ford took a step forward and they watched as Alvah's body went limp, his body falling into Ford's arms before it could fall to the ground. There they watched as his shadow leaked out of him and loomed over them despite being attached to the wall "See you later." it spoke before a burst of laughter rang out through the room and the shadow disappeared.

Elsewhere... 

In the chaotic hell that was the Nightmare Realm, a somewhat surreal unstable void filled with swirling shades of dark purple, red, and yellow almost like a lava lamp. However, the being we're focusing on resides in a different section of the Nightmare Realm. Though the sky was still red they were surrounded by stars as they lay motionless in a body of clouds, that was when their body twitched as they stirred awake. After being in a coma for about thirty years, the Harbinger of Chaos arose rather slowly and weakly from where they had been lying for the past three decades. With a body made of a chaotic tangle of writhing, red tendrils and jagged lines adorned with numerous glowing red eyes that peer out from the dark depths of its flesh, they opened their mouth, and a horrific scream roared out that would deafen the ears of mortal beings... turns out they were just yawning. 

"Mm, it's been a long time." with a voice made up of the screams of all that they have slain, they spoke for the first time, and it almost felt foreign "I need to remember not to make the same mistake twice the next time I form a contract with a different being. I do not want to be stuck in such a predicament ever again." they note to themself, grabbing onto nothing to pull themself up until they were no longer laying in the luscious clouds that was their bed. Since their consciousness had been in that vessel alone, their main body had remained dormant the entire time and gave off the atmosphere like it was dead, but now their power was surging through their body and anyone residing in their section of the Nightmare Realm could feel that they had returned.  

The Harbinger of Chaos, the embodiment of evil throughout entire realities woke up one day and decided that they weren’t just going to be just a meaning, they were going to be alive. Where there is good, there will always be their counterpart that is evil, influencing individuals to do what they believe is the better option. As the devil on their shoulder, as the temptation that led Adam and Eve into biting into god’s sacred fruit, they are tasked with bringing the darkness out of people’s hearts. They do not crave world destruction, they do not want to destroy or take over dimensions, they think that’s just hard labor and a waste of time and effort, they’d rather just let their influence seep into the minds of others so they can destroy their own worlds. 

“My old friend, it has been a long time.” this being of evil perked up at the voice, tilting their head to the side at the sight of such a majestic being “I am a little hurt at the words you spoke.” they let out a chuckle themself. 

“I was only teasing. Besides, I knew you were watching ever since Stanley completed his mission to save his brother. And was I lying? The only reason you haven’t wiped me from existence is because if you do, the very concept of evil would disappear? But wouldn’t that be a good thing? Worlds without evil would be… perfect.” they let out a sigh. 

“But a world without evil would be out of balance. Good and even coexist together for a reason.” a hum is the only response they get. 

“Anyways, what are you doing in the Nightmare Realm? Did you venture across worlds just to visit little ol’ me? I’m flattered, really? It does things to my already inflated ego~” a chuckle leaves them as they float off, the Axolotl following close behind them “Are you worried Bill might pick up a fuss now that I’ve returned from dimension 46'\? He always avoids areas that you’re in.” the ethereal being let out a sigh. 

“I suppose. He was always one to bottle up all his feelings then let it all out at once rather than sharing his thoughts.” this caused them to let out a laugh while snapping their fingers to open windows to other worlds, peering into one they were met with talking frogs “I think it would be better for him to show a different side, don’t you think?” this caused them to roll all their eyes. 

“The last time he showed a vulnerable side he got his “heart” broken, remember? It’s the whole reason I was in dimension 46'\ in the first place.” they swipe their hand and peer into another window, now seeing a bunch of magic fly across their vision “If you want him to share his thoughts, you’ve got to force it out of him. The only way I see him talking about his feelings is in Theraprism.” 

“You’re right.” this earned them another laugh, they watched as a dark energy seeped out of the tip of their hand and infested the open windows that surrounded them, corrupting a few individuals before quickly closing the windows “I hope you don’t make too many changes with the Pines family, friend.” 

“You don’t need to worry about that, Axolotl. I’m a tough nut to crack.” this earned them a raised brow, and they shrunk a little under their gaze. 

“Perhaps, but what about that vessel of yours?” 

“What about it?” Axolotl gave them a knowing look, floating around them as they laughed softly. 

“You and I both know what I’m talking about.” they laugh a little more when they see all their eyes look in different directions, avoiding their bright gaze “Oh, I am only teasing. But you’ve been in that vessel for over thirty years. Sure, time works differently on beings with such a long lifespan, but your mind was in that of a human body for so long. You and I both know that things changed, whether for the better or for the worst.” they were met with silence, they peak over their shoulder and saw their gaze was back on the Pines family once again, namely on the Stan twins. 

“It… really complicates things.” 

“What will you do now?” their hand hovered over their view of dimension 46'\, their finger tapping against the image before swiping it away. 

“Fulfill my contract and come right back, I suppose.” 

“I see. Then, I’ll take my leave. I hope to see you well, my friend.” and with that, Axolotl left as silently as they appeared. They floated aimlessly in the chaos that was known as their home and sighed to themselves, this is why they preferred to laze around instead of doing fieldwork, it was always stressful and required too much thinking. They spent most of their time taking care of businesses that had been left unattended due to their absence and watched their influence fill the heads of people who couldn’t make a choice, it was always fun watching people be conflicted in their choices. Time certainly worked differently in the Nightmare Realm and different dimensions because when they looked back to dimension 46’\ the two brothers had left the basement and were staring at each other’s reflection, Ford even had a different change of clothes. 

“Perhaps I should inform them that I might be gone for a while to catch up on my work.” they thought it over before nodding their head and expanding their view on dimension 46’\, their finger circled around the image before allowing some of their consciousness to seep into the dimension before continuing their work. Alvah manifested within the second dimension (as a flat figure within the shadows) and looked around to find himself in the hallway, he travels through the shadows (similar to how giffany traveled through digital screens) until he found himself in the room where Stan and Ford were arguing with each other “I don’t suppose I’m interrupting anything, am I?” they both jump at the sound of his voice, turning in the direction it came from, they found the male version of Alvah in the reflection of the mirror in between them. They both turned their heads to look but found the space empty, so they looked back toward the mirror and saw him pressing his fingers against the glass, showing off the sharp, pearly whites as he looked at them. 

“You’re back, Alvah.” he chuckled softly, pushing himself off the surface of the mirror to cross his arms. 

“Yes, but not for long. I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on, so don’t expect to see me lingering around for a while. It won’t take me long to finish up, but I won’t physically be around to keep an eye on your family. But if you really need me, just say my name and I’ll be there to save the day.” he snickered softly when Ford scoffed, readjusting his glasses. 

“I highly doubt we’ll need you to “save the day”, Alvah. You’ve made it clear that you’re not allowed to directly interfere with events, as you’ve put it.” he chuckled and looked Ford up and down, Stan was a little startled when he saw the end of his brother’s coat lift up to mirror what Alvah was doing in their reflection. He was looking him up and down once more, throwing his coat open to see he swapped out that black sweater for a red one while also messing with his hair “Would you quit it, Alvah?” he demanded and attempted to smack his hands off him through their reflection, it almost looked like he was fighting air, but Alvah just laughed and pulled his hands back. 

“Oh, you know I’m just teasing.” he giggles softly when Ford tugged on his coat and tidied up his hair. 

“If you want to make yourself useful, could you deal with the U.S. government? Stanley here tells me that they know about the portal, I’m just surprised they haven’t kicked down the doors to the shack yet.” this caused Alvah to start laughing, throwing his head back before wiping away a tear and leaning against the mirror with his elbow. 

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about those government officials. They won’t be bothering us again.” they both shudder when they saw him lick his lips “I made sure of that.” Ford glared at him. 

“Alvah! I specifically told you not to harm humans.” he rolled his eyes with a groan. 

“Hey! That was after we signed the updated version of our contract! I did it before then, okay? I also made it look like an accident, so you shouldn’t have to worry about backup coming to check up on things. Oh, and I gathered up all the evidence they managed to secure while they were stalking us.” he snapped his fingers, and a stack of discs and folders appeared behind them on a desk “You’re welcome.” Ford hummed softly as he looked over the documents. 

“Well, this is perfect. Well done, Alvah. I knew I could count on you to handle matters like these.” Alvah bows his head rather dramatically with a smirk “I’ll deal with these; I’ll call you when I need you.” he twiddles his fingers to bid Ford goodbye, this leaves Stan and Alvah alone, to which the demonic being pressed his hands against the glass of the mirror once more to look at Stan, who refused to look at him. 

“Are you mad at me, Stanley?” he asked, tilting his head to the side to try and get a look at his face but with the angle the mirror was facing he couldn’t properly see him “Is it because I didn’t help you with the portal, or because I knew the truth the whole time? Or was it because I knew what exactly you were suffering and did nothing about it?” he continued to watch him through the mirror for any sort of reaction but even then, Stan didn’t give any sort of reaction. Lowering his gaze to his hands, he saw that they were balled up into fists and shaking a little, was it anger or sadness? His fingers tap against the glass a little in thought, thinking of any way to get him to turn around “… do you hate me, Stanley?” Stan flinched at the sound of the voice and that was enough to turn him around, and there he saw the version of Alvah that stood by his side through thick and thin, his Alvah. Looking at him were those sharp green eyes that held a warmth like an early morning day, that kind and beautiful smile that lit up a room, and hair that was as soft as a freshly washed blanket. 

“You…” she tilts her head to the side and watches Stan approach the mirror, finger raised to point at her face “You don’t get to ask those questions, Alvah. From the beginning, you knew who I was, but I didn’t stop to question you. I should have known that someone like you wouldn’t have stuck around for as long as you did out of goodwill. You probably programmed that body of yours to meet my preferred standards, huh?” she tilts her head again, her eyes looking around the room in thought before landing on his again. 

“That is how I construct my vessels, yes. They take up the physical traits that would best suit those who gaze upon it, just like the male version of this vessel. I adorn that appearance because when I was first summoned, I knew how much the female population made Ford uncomfortable. I copied the personality of somebody he once cherished, but I didn’t drop it because it’s quite funny.” she took a step back and opened her arms to gesture to herself “For you, this was the ideal type of woman you have been craving; both in appearance and personality. This body was modeled just for you.” she watched the way his face screwed up but this time he looked like he was in pain, he swallowed thickly while gritting his teeth. 

“Then, did anything… did anything matter to you?” he wasn’t looking at her, so he didn’t notice the way her eyes twitched a little “Did any of what we had… matter to you, at all?” he looked up at her and saw the way she just continued to stare at him, his shoulders slumped, and he turned away to leave. 

“… from the day we first met to today, I have never lied to you.” this caused him to look back at her but noticed that she was no longer in the mirror “Take that as you will, Stanley.” 

season 2, bonus episode. harbinger of chaos 

“So, dudes, Alvah gave you that memory tube that contained the memory old man McGucket erased from way back then?” Soos, who was unconscious the entire time Alvah revealed she wasn’t who she seemed, questioned as he and Wendy followed the twins to where they could watch the memory tube. They hadn’t seen Alvah in a couple of days, Grunkle Ford told them that he, she, they? Whatever, she was so busy in her dimension that she wasn’t going to be around much, and the times she was she was down in the basement helping Ford out with his stuff. It was quite odd in the beginning, mostly because Alvah usually stuck by Stan’s side, but from what they were told, when he first met her, she always stuck by his side and watched him through mirrors or shadows. Anyways, they snuck back into the former base of the Society of the Blind Eye to steal the contraption that allowed them to watch the stolen memories of Gravity Falls and hauled it back to the Mystery Shack “What do you think we’re gonna see?” he asked curiously as they hooked it up in the attic. 

“Do you think we’re gonna see the world's secrets?” Mabel suggests rather excitingly. 

“We don’t know what exactly McGucket put into the memory gun, but I highly doubt it went that far. It would probably be something recent during that time.” Dipper answers, Wendy hums softly. 

“Whatever it is, I’m glad I brought snacks. We can munch on these while we watch.” Dipper laughed softly at Wendy, lightening the mood. Now that they know that Alvah is actually a being of pure evil, he was a little nervous to peek into that mind of hers to see what was going on thirty years ago where it all began. Soos and Mabel rearranged the room a little so they would be more comfortable to watch, so after finally setting it up he inserted the memory tube and took a seat beside Mabel. The screen spurred to life and the dark room was filled with static until it turned black, it stayed like that for a couple minutes and it confused them, was something wrong with it? 

“Hey, dude, did you set it up right?” Dipper scratched his head as he stood up, approaching the screen to see if he had done something wrong. 

“I thought I did, maybe I missed—” he let out a startled shout as he fell backward when a loud crash came from the TV, looking back up at it, they were all startled to see the shadowed figure of Stanford in a mirror, and he looked enraged as his fists banged against the mirror glass. 

“FORD!” he shouted as he continued to bang on the glass, he pushed his face against the glass to get a look at Stanford and he found the young man hunched over his desk. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days, which was true, now that he had angered Bill Cipher, that triangular bastard had been tormenting the poor human to the point he couldn’t even sleep anymore in fear that his body would be taken advantage of “You’re going to allow yourself to wallow away in this shack? You’re not going to do anything to retaliate against him, and why? Because you’re afraid? You allowed him to take advantage of you despite all my warnings, and now that you lost poor little Fiddlesticks you’ve come to realize that you’ve got no one left. Tell me, what exactly are you going to do now? Have you finally given up, Stanford?” 

“As… as long as I don’t give in, he won’t win.” he glares back at the mirror where Alvah lets out a malicious cackle, his fists continuing to bang against the glass. 

“You think that’s enough to keep him at bay? Do you think that’s enough to keep him from getting what he wants? Unless you dismantle that portal of yours or destroy those journals, he’s going to continue torturing you until he succeeds. You sealed your fate the moment you took his hand, Stanford.” he scoffs, red eyes void of emotion but you can tell that he is giving him an unimpressed expression “You were such a gullible and naïve little thing that just a tiny bit of praise had you dancing in the palm of his hand; had you constructing the very thing that could destroy your universe.” he let out a laugh when Stanford stood to his feet and approached the mirror, slamming his hands against the frame and glaring at his shadow. 

“Mock me all you want, Alvah, but I made the discovery of a lifetime. I was able to create something that could have changed the world; that should have changed the world.” 

“Yeah, in a bad way. And sure, you were able to create it from scratch, but that idea wasn’t yours. You weren’t able to create something without his blueprints, this portal was his idea in the first place, and you were foolish enough to make it for him. To him, you were the perfect little puppet that didn’t even realize his strings were being pulled.” he laughed when Stanford punched the mirror, shattering it to pieces as the shards scattered across the floor beneath his feet, but he still saw his shattered reflection through the shards “If you had just listened to me from the very beginning, none of this would have happened. But why listen to me? As a being made up of an amalgamation of evil, of course, you shouldn’t trust me. Your muse would never lie to you~” he watched Stanford continue to glare down at his reflection before walking off, Alvah chuckled and followed him through the shadows that lingered through the barely lit house “He is never going to quit. He is never going to leave you alone. You will never be safe. You will never get to live a normal life again. You will never be sane. He sees everything no matter where you are. He is always watching.” Stanford stops in front of another mirror and faces Alvah once more, glaring at the shadowed version of himself instead of his own reflection. 

“Then what do you suppose I do? The only other option would be to…” his eyes glance over at a closet that kept his weapons, he hears another chuckle and raises his head to see Alvah leaning against the mirror. 

“You really think a bullet would end this madness? Hardly. You can’t get away from him, not even through death. Unless you can figure out a way to sever the connection between your mind and his control, you’ll never be able to get away.” he thoroughly enjoyed the way Stanford’s face crumbled up in pain “Well, what if I can help weaken it?” this caused him to perk up. 

“What… what do you mean?” he jerked backward when a bright light burst out of the mirror, his face hardened when he saw the same scroll of paper Alvah first introduced to him a few months back when things weren’t so bad “You know I’m not going to agree to that after what happened.” Alvah’s hands rolled along the side of the scroll as he peeked his head out from the side, lowering it a little as his fingers tapped against it. 

“You should know, Fordsy, that my contracts are different from his deals. He always manages to find loopholes through his deals and is generally the one at an advantage, while my contracts are stricter on myself and those who sign them.” he then gestures to the blank canvas “Whatever your demands are, I will match them to either an equal value or lesser. Through my contracts, I don’t need that portal to cross over to this dimension.” 

“If that’s the case, why would I—” Alvah raised his finger to stop him. 

“That’s where the contract comes into play. While I can access this dimension, my powers are much more limited than if it were the real me.” he holds the contract out to him once more “State whatever you want, Stanford. Whether it be keeping you safe from the dangers that linger outside this shack, or something minor like keeping an eye on your family while you stay here, I’ll be forced to do whatever it is. I don’t seek destruction, that’s not my thing.” Stanford stared at him in confusion. 

“But you’re also a being that influences the minds to do atrocious things. Why would you do something so unlike you for me?” he flinched when he was met with a vicious grin. 

“Because taking his toys is so much more enjoyable. When you two broke off, whatever your relationship was, he caused quite a ruckus in the Nightmare Realm that I found unbearable. I’m gonna enjoy the face he’s going to make when he realizes I took the one thing he thought was going to be his until the end of time.” Stanford clenched his hand into a fist as he stared at the blank contract waiting to be filled with his demands, what other options did he have? With the help of this demonic being, he can get Bill out of his mind so he can focus on more important matters, and even if he manages to get into his mind, Alvah is more than powerful enough to get him out “So, what do you say? Wanna sign a contract with me?” 

“… I can state whatever I want, and you’ll have to abide by it, no matter what?” the grin on his face grew wider. 

“Whatever you want, and I’ll do it for you.” Ford’s hand slowly lifted from his side and pressed against the mirror, in an instance, the demands he wanted were being written across the once blank page. A few other spots were filled in and he knew they were for Alvah, while they were allowed to travel between the Nightmare Realm and his dimension, they were to remain in Gravity Falls if he wasn’t there to keep it from being destroyed by the anomalies within this hick town, while in turn they were allowed access to their powers in order for that to happen. The contract turned towards Alvah, and their grin didn’t disappear, instead, he watched as they tore into their thumb to drip what he believed was blood and signed the end of it. Stanford took a step back when the contract came out of the mirror and a quill appeared beside it, Alvah pressed against the mirror and looked at him with anticipation “All you’ve got to do is sign it, and I’ll be at your discretion.” he swallowed thickly as he stared down at the part where he was supposed to sign it. Looking back at the quill he saw it swing side to side for him to take it, so with a deep breath he raised his thumb to his lips and tore into the flesh. He winced in pain but shook it off, hovering his thumb over the page and allowing a few drops of his blood to drip onto the page before taking the quill and signing his name. 

“Now… now what?” he was met with silence when the contract disappeared, leaving him and the shadow of his reflection within the darkness of the room. He stood nervously as those beading red eyes stared right back at him, slowly, he watched his reflection raise his hands and start banging against the mirror. He took a step back when each strike against the glass started getting more and more violent to the point the glass began to crack, when the glass did shatter a black liquid spilled out and poured onto the floor. He watched as the liquid bubbled and sizzled until a hand burst out and slammed against the floorboards, slowly, through the gurgling and groaning noises that emitted from this blob of goo, a figure pushed themself out of the puddle of tar. 

“What a pain…” he flinched at the sound of the voice as the figure stood to its full height, one that was looming over him, and threw their head back, which caused some of the black tar to splatter across the room and some even got on Ford. Their hands ran up their face then threaded through their hair and after wiping away the black tar from their face, he was met with a pale face a bright ruby red eyes with thin slitted irises. The figure before him appeared as a tall, long-limbed, broad-shouldered adult man of indeterminate but reasonably young age, with jet-black hair with his bangs falling slightly over his eyes and strands on the sides of his bangs framing his face though the length seemed to vary because his hair seemed to be part of his shadow while bearing this form. The outfit he wore comprised mainly in a classic Victorian fashion. It includes a white long-sleeved shirt with an intricately knotted red cravat under a black double-breasted suit with red buttons, matching black trousers, and a pair of dark brown leather riding boots, covered by a red, split, and full-length, long coat with ruffles exclusive to the shoulders “I must say, you have quite a sense of fashion, Fordsy~” the man cooed softly, twirling a strand of his black hair around his finger. 

“W-What?” he spread his arms open then gestured to his being. 

“This vessel was created to adorn the appearance my contractor so desires. As I said, I have no face, no sex, no appearance of my own. Whenever someone signs one of my contracts, I take up the appearance that my contractor feels most comfortable.” he then leaned down until his face was inches away from Stanford’s “This appearance was modeled just for you, Fordsy~” he was promptly shoved away, causing him to break out into a fit of laughter. 

“And the personality?” he shrugged. 

“Taken from someone you once cherished.” this caused him to look away, he dusted himself off and bowed his head once more “I am Alvah, the Harbinger of Chaos, and I am at your every beck and call until our contract is fulfilled. How may I be of assistance today?” Stanford stares down at the demonic being he summoned, his eyes full of so many thoughts, before taking the hand that was offered to him. 

“We’ve got a lot of work to do.” 

… 

… 

“So…” the children, Wendy and Soos, stared at the screen with mouths agape after the screen turned back to static, indicating that the memory had finished “McGucket erased the memory of when Alvah and Ford made their contract.” 

“That he did.” they all let out screams of surprise at the sudden voice, looking up, they were met with the female version of Alvah, who was chuckling softly that she managed to scare them “I believe he was going to shoot Fordsy with it, but since I came to his house that fateful day, he used it on me instead.” they all stare up at her in shock before calming themselves down, she then casually leans against the TV as Dipper approaches her. 

“But… if he erased that memory, wouldn’t that mean you should have forgotten what you were meant to do?” she shook her head. 

“Oh, no. You can’t erase a mind so vast. To me, it felt like the moment you walk into a room and forget what you were supposed to do but remember it an instance later when you’ve left that room. If he wanted to completely erase my deal with Ford, he would have had to shoot me with that gun a good hundred times.” she takes the memory tube and tosses it up and down a couple times “That day was one of Ford’s lowest moments, where he didn’t know what to do and had nobody to turn to. Yet, I had not abandoned him. I believe that since he was in such a dire situation, that was the reason he agreed to sign a contract with me. If he were any saner, I don’t believe he would have.” 

“So… how did you and Stanford meet anyways?” Wendy asked “From what we saw, you were confined to mirrors and shadows. What was your relationship with him?” this caused her to laugh. 

“For the second part, I was more like a caretaker or maybe a babysitter?” she shrugged her shoulders while giggling “That man could not look after himself, and after Fidds left him, it was up to me to keep him from doing something that would end up with him not waking up the next morning. It was almost sad.” 

“And the first part?” she raised a brow, Dipper twiddled his thumbs nervously “H-How did you two meet?” she looked up in thought, exhaling deeply through her nose. 

“Well, that’s a long story.” she glanced back over at them, chuckling a little when she saw them looking up at her with anticipation “Well, it all started about… thirty years ago, I believe.” 

Flashback… 

“What do we have here?” the Harbinger of Chaos approached Bill within the Nightmare Realm after his return from a dimension, to which he was peering into said dimension through their windows “You seem to be in a jolly mood, Cipher? May I inquire why?” they hummed softly when Bill let out a boisterous laugh, looking away from what he was looking at to look up at them. 

“Hahaha, I just found the most gullible human ever!” he gestured for them to peer into the window, and there their eyes laid upon a young-looking human man “Get this, I recognized his brilliant but cocky and insecure nature, and I used his near-friendlessness as ideal conditions for manipulation, so I introduced myself to him as a muse who chose one brilliant mind every century to inspire.” they let out a hum as they watched the human man write stuff down in a worn-out journal. 

“So, he’s the next pet to build your portal?” he nods his head. 

“Uh-huh. I showed him the blueprints for the portal, and he said he’d get started on it immediately. Psh, this has got to be one of the easiest suckers I’ve ever got to construct the portal in like, what, centuries?” 

“Possibly longer, but I must agree, this guy seems to be very naïve.” 

“I know, right? At least the other humans I tried to get to build my portal were more skeptical, but this guy is just dancing in the palm of my hand. It won’t be long before I can finally get out of this janky hellhole.” he heard a chuckle and let out an oh, looking back up at them “A very nice hellhole, since you can’t exactly leave.” they just gave a shrug in response. 

“Oh, it’s bearable. And besides, I can technically leave whenever I want, I just have to abandon this body in the process.” he lets out a hum “I’m somewhat curious about him, you wouldn’t mind if pop in and bother him from time to time, do you? He looks fun to make fun of.” Bill laughs. 

“Sure, go ahead. As long as you don’t distract him from completely the portal, I don’t care what you do.” 

And that’s where they found themselves watching Stanford Pines, hidden within the shadows that surrounded the man. They had to admit, he definitely had a brilliant mind from the mass amounts of research he managed to accumulate throughout the six years he resided in the hick town that was Gravity Falls, but he was just so damn stupid. Apparently, he found murals about Bill Cipher hidden within a cave and thought “oh yes, this doesn’t scream demonic entity at all” and managed to summon him, or rather, just caught his attention. As they continued to watch him, before his little assistant arrived, he was rather neglectful of his own well-being and would go days of staying hunched over his desk figuring out equations. 

“You’re quite dumb for a man who proclaims to be a genius.” they laughed to themself when they saw Stanford, who was currently brushing his teeth, spit out what was in his mouth and whip his head around in search of the voice “I’m right here, dumb, dumb. Look up.” he slowly raised his head to look at the mirror, squinting his eyes the longer he stared at his reflection before jerking backward when a grin spread across his lips. His reflection slowly started to laugh until a sort of darkness wrapped around his body and he was staring at a shadowed version of himself, a bead of sweat bled down his face when beading red eyes appeared all over his body and stared at him. 

“W-What…?” his reflection chuckled. 

“For a human who uses such big words to make himself much smarter than he actually is, I feel quite proud that I’ve rendered you speechless.” it felt unsettling to hear his voice even though he did not speak, his relfection’s finger draws circles in the glass “I’ve been watching you for some time, Stanford Pines.” he quickly grabbed his glasses that were sitting on the sink and put them on, staring at the figure in shock and awe. 

“You know my name?” they roll their multiple eyes. 

“Yes, I just said I’ve been watching you. I was bound to pick up your name.” they hum softly when his face flushed up in embarrassment “Anyways, I can’t help but say that I’m impressed that you managed to gain Bill’s favor.” the mention of Bill caused him to perk up, a little smile gracing his lips. 

“Really?” they huffed. 

“Sure. He’s gathered many brilliant minds over the years throughout the multiverse, but I’ve never seen him favor one specific human before. He’s given a lot of his time to you, and as I said, I’m impressed. Humans, in particular, are his least favorite. Still, he seems to put his distaste towards them to the side for you.” their gaze hardened a little when he saw the way his face flushed up, but this time, for a different “… anyways, I was just spying on you to see what all the hype was about. I don’t really see much.” they snickered when they saw how his face fell and looked back at them, his face scrunching up in confusion. 

“What do you mean by that?” they hummed softly, crossing their arms and turning away. 

“I thought you were smart, perhaps you can figure out why I don’t find you as interesting as your little muse does~” they laughed to themself when his face flared up, so they pointed at him as they continued to laugh “Haha, your face looks so funny when you do that! Do it again.” Stanford scoffed and turned around to leave, thinking that whoever this being was could only communicate through mirrors. 

“Hmph, I don’t know what you are, but I’m smarter than you think I am.” 

“Oh, really?” he gasped and saw the way the red eyes appeared on his shadow on the wall “I bet you were thinking I was confined to mirrors and your reflection, but no. I can appear within your shadow as well. Nowhere is safe for you!” throughout the day Stanford had to put up with them making fun of him and teasing him, even when he tried to cancel out the noise with music, they found a way to interfere with the soundwaves so he could hear their voice. They were now back in the Nightmare Realm laughing their head off with Bill Cipher, who was now dealing with the aftermath of what they did to Stanford “He is so fun to mess with!” Bill snorted. 

“I’ve got to thank you, though he’s just complaining, he seems to be leaning on me more. Telling me how this “shadow has been bullying him”, just a little bit of reassurance has him trusting me more and more. Keep it up, would you.” 

“Hah! Like I’d give up making fun of this human! I haven’t been this entertained in years.” 

Over a couple of months when the progress of the portal had just begun, both Bill and them would play their little game with Stanford Pines. Where they would poke fun at him and point out his little mistakes while Bill would reassure him and help him figure out the problem, this led to Stanford trusting Bill more and more and cementing them as the bad guy. Though their power didn’t revolve around the mindscape like Bill’s did, they were still very much able to enter it, and they made the poor mistake of entering Stanford’s mind and witnessing how deep his obsession with Bill ran. Hmm, though they also made fun of that Fiddlestick guy, they were now beginning to prefer him with how… weird, Stanford was. 

“So… Bill tells me you’re known as the, Harbinger of Chaos?” he asked questionably. 

“Ooo, finally curious about me?” they asked within Stanford’s shadow, he had the light cast behind him so they could be “sitting” across from him “I thought you’d never ask any questions about me. Bill tells me you’re not quite fond of me.” he huffed. 

“Of course, because unlike him, you make fun of me.” he saw the way they rolled his eyes, if only this poor sucker knew “But I can’t stop my curiosity. I asked Bill about you, but he told me if I wanted to know more about you it’d be best if I were to ask the source itself.” they leaned back in the seat they were in and shrugged their shoulders. 

“Well, shoot, dumb, dumb. Ask away.” they laughed again when he pouted, calling him dumb dumb always got that reaction out of him so they resorted to calling him that from time to time. 

“Mm, so what Bill has told me, you’re not exactly a… person, per say?” 

“Well, it is hard to put it into words, but let’s just simplify it and say I wasn’t exactly born like you, your friend, or Bill Cipher. I was not created either. I have been around since the beginning of all that was created. I am simply the manifestation of evil throughout countless dimensions; an amalgamation of all that is evil. I AM evil itself, that managed to conjure a consciousness and become the very being that I am today.” they raised their hand and Stanford managed to see their hand glow red “I am every bad choice you make, every selfish action, every terrible mistake. I am the influence that drives you to do bad things.” 

“So, you tell people to do bad things?” they shook their head. 

“No. I don’t tell people to do anything, it’s their fault that they ended up doing something bad, not mine.” he nods his head as he writes down what they said in his journal. 

“Does that mean you’re the very definition of evil?” 

“That it does, but that doesn’t particularly mean that I am evil.” he watches as the glow floats around their hand “My being doesn’t exactly have the concept of “feelings”, you know? I don’t feel like being the bad guy or being the good guy either. I don’t feel joy, anger, sadness, fear; I can replicate those feelings, but I myself can’t exactly feel anything.” 

“Do you feel pain?” 

“Hmm, well, there hasn’t been anything in existence that’s able to harm me. Bill is quite literally the only being that is of equal power to me, but there is a being more powerful than us. You could say that is when I do feel the fear.” Stanford perks up at that, raising his pen a little. 

“Oh! Bill has mentioned such a being before.” they nod. 

“So, he has. He doesn’t like to mention it, but they make him nervous as well. Don’t tell him I told you that, he’ll get fussy. Anyway, there hasn’t been a time where somebody has managed to hurt me, much less leave a mark. I’m more of a neutral being, I don’t care for world domination, and I don’t care enough to save worlds. It’s none of my business; not my circus, not my monkeys.” 

“I see. Bill tells me that his and your powers are somewhat similar.” it takes them a second to understand what he meant before perking up, snapping their fingers in remembrance. 

“Ah, yes! Bill has his “deals” to inhabit his host's minds and “cross over” to your world. Unlike him though, I can appear here whenever I want. I don’t need a gateway like he does. Anyways, while he has his deals, I have my contracts. The terms of the contract are set by both me and my contractor, only when we agree and sign the contract may I physically enter their world. They’re stricter as well, we must abide by the terms and conditions, or else the contract with be null and void. We must follow it to a T, or else the contract with destroy itself, and my physical body will cease to exist and I return back to the Nightmare Realm.” 

“And what about your real body?” 

“It becomes stationed. While I am still able to infect other universes with my chaotic influences, it’s not nearly as effective if I were to do it myself. If I want to control the physical body I created in this dimension, I would have to give up the consciousness in my main body to control that other one. My powers are also limited, so while I can easily erase a planet from existence, my powers would simply be reduced to where I can only decimate a city.” 

“That’s… still very threatening.” they shrug their shoulders. “You mentioned your real body? Each time I’ve seen you, you’ve only taken up my appearance. Are you faceless?” they hum. 

“I am. I am neither man nor woman, I am not a being that can be identified by something like sex or pronouns. I have no face and no physical appearance to call my own. However, if a being lesser than I were to witness my true form, their minds would slowly descend into madness from all the chaos stored into one being.” 

“Can you describe what you look like? 

“Hah, are you going to attempt to sketch me?” he nods. 

“Your chapter won’t be complete without it.” they stared at him for a couple seconds then laughed when he raised his head, waiting for them to say something, they just gently shook their head. 

“Alright, okay. I have a body made up of a chaotic tangle of writhing, red tendrils, and jagged lines adorned with numerous glowing red eyes that peer out from the dark depths of my flesh. That’s all you’re going to get.” this caused Stanford to look up at them, mildly frustrated at the brief description, but he took up the challenge and started sketching with what he was given. They both sat in silence and all that was heard was the repeated strokes of Stanford’s pen sketching across the page, they were quite impressed that he was drawing with a pen instead of a pencil. After what they believed was an hour of Stanford consistently stopping to think and continue to draw, he let out a sigh and dropped his pen to pick up his journal. 

“How does this look?” they lean forward and Stanford watches as their collective eyes shoot open and look at the page, he was startled when his journal was plucked out of his hands by an invisible force but when he looked down, he saw that the journal’s shadow was grabbed by them. Looking back up at them, he saw how they held the journal close so their eyes could take in his sketch “Is it… good?” a soft chuckle left them. 

“Hah… alright, I’m starting to see it.” they lowered the book, and he saw something genuine in their eyes “With the limited information, this is surprisingly the most accurate depiction of me. Well done, Fordsy, you’ve won my praise.” they hummed when he became flustered, of course, he would, he’s never been praised by them before, so it made him feel special. 

“Oh, well, it’s nothing much. I did struggle a bit.” 

“Don’t humble yourself, Fordsy.” they turned the book around so he could see his sketch “Not once, in the trillions of years I’ve been alive, has anyone made a sketch as accurate as you have. Nobody can look at the real me without their minds declining into madness, and lesser beings aren’t skilled enough to draw a sketch this good with the lack of details. This is most likely the first and last sketch of me. Be proud, Stanford.” they huffed softly at the soft hue of pink appearing on his cheeks as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. 

“Thanks.” he gasped softly when his journal was tossed back into his hands. 

“Don’t expect to hear more praise from me for a while, that’s Bill’s job.” Stanford chuckled, feeling more at ease with the being that was harbored within his shadow. 

“Sure…” their eyes stared curiously at him when his face scrunched up in thought “I hate to be rude, but is there anything else I can address you by? The Harbinger of Chaos is a bit of a mouthful, and I don’t exactly want to call you chaos or evil, so…” this got a laugh out of them. 

“I don’t have a name. Not even Bill calls me anything. I just… exist.” Ford blinked at them, his face softening a little. 

“Can I… give you a name?” 

“What am I? A pet?” they laughed when he raised his hands and shook them. 

“No, no! It just… it just makes it easier to address you? Yeah, that’s it!” they sat there staring at him as he tried to defend himself, but they just scoffed, leaning into their seat as they crossed their arms. 

“Alright, Einstein, give me a name.” this ceased his needless chattering, and they sat in silence once more as he tried thinking of a good name that would best suit them, he mumbled a couple under his breath but he noticed the way their eyes would crease in displeasure at a couple so he kept thinking “If I don’t like it, I’ll skin you alive.” this caused him to start thinking harder. 

“Um, how about—no, no, that doesn’t sound good. Uh, erm… oh!” he snaps his fingers, face as bright as a child on Christmas day “Alvah! How does that sound?” he started to shrink in on himself when they said nothing but stare at him “W-Well, Alvah is a gender-neutral name with Hebrew roots. Translating to “his highness” or “rising,”.” 

“… you do know the biblical meaning to the name “Alvah”, also means evil, right?” this caused him to pause, looking up in thought before crumbling due to the fact he forgot that small detail, he jumped a little when they started to laugh “I like it.” 

“W-Wha— really?” they nod their head. 

“Yes, Alvah. It has a nice ring to it; I like the name, and I like the fact that it correlates to my being. You’ve won my praise again, well done.” Alvah rolled their eyes when Stanford became flustered once more “Don’t let it go to your head, alright.” 

“Heh, I’ll try.” they both share a laugh. 

Alvah didn’t want to admit it, but Stanford was beginning to grow on them, not enough to stop him from completing the portal, but enough that they started to… care, bleh. They never once cared for him when he would wound up falling asleep at his desk how his sleep schedule became worse and worse, or how he would never eat or restock on food, or even have a shower once in a while. Never once they did care about how he neglected his well-being but ever since the day he gave them that name, their perspective on him changed. 

It was one of those days were Stanford decided to continue working on the portal and he fell asleep at his desk, his shadow loomed over him and Alvah’s form slowly took over and looked over his sleeping form. Humans don’t particularly feel great in the morning after sleeping in such an uncomfortable position, and because they can’t exactly touch his physical being, Alvah used different shadows to pick Stanford up using his shadow and carry him to his bed where he could get some hours of comfortable rest. Stanford would always wake up confused when he found himself in his bed, sometimes asking Fiddleford if it was him that moved him to his bed, but his assistant would deny any involvement in such a thing. He thought it was his muse that possessed his body to move him to his bed, so after asking him, he was met with laughter. 

“Oh, that? Alvah, or whatever you named them, is the one that moves you.” this stunned him, Alvah? “I’m surprised too. Sometimes I would catch them in the act, but they just say they’re doing it, so you won’t cause any hiccups when building the portal. Gotta say they’re always one to think ahead. So, stop falling asleep at your desk, alright?” Bill’s eye narrowed on Stanford when he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“R-Right, I’ll try and stop that.” back in the Nightmare Realm, Bill found Alvah peering into a universe with a human and talking dog. 

“I didn’t think you’d begin to care about our little pet human, Alvah.” this caused their hands to jerk back as they turned to look at Bill. 

“Whatever do you mean?” he hummed. 

“You don’t like humans. You find them one of the most repulsive living flesh bags there is, so I don’t understand why you’re beginning to care about this one.” this caused them to huff, snapping their fingers and the window of the universe they were just looking at disappeared and the one of dimension 46’\ appeared so they could watch Stanford and Fiddleford continue their work on the portal. 

“I thought I was doing a good thing for you, Bill. His progress has slowed a little because of him neglecting his body, would you rather his health to decline while he’s in the process of completing his project?” Bill narrowed his eye on them for that, he had noticed the way Stanford’s work had become a little sloppy because of his wanting to please his muse “I’ll stop if that’s what you want.” 

“Hmm, I guess you can continue your babysitting. I wouldn’t want him to mess up when he’s so close.” they laughed as they gently tipped his hat, causing him to reach for it when it fell off “Hey!” 

“If I didn’t know, you sound jealous.” their eyes creased when they saw his yellow body hue a slight red, whether it be of anger or embarrassment, they weren’t going to question him on it. 

“Jealous? Of what? You taking care of him? I can take him to bed as well!” 

“Mm, without hurting him?” Alvah laughed when he glared at him, the last time he possessed his body, he accidentally fell down a flight of stairs, but they were lucky he was only on the middle part of the staircase instead of the very top “Alright, alright. Now go, he looks like he misses you~” they cooed while pointing at Stanford, who was writing a new paragraph in his journal about his muse. 

“Well, duty calls.” they waved him goodbye and went back to doing their job as Bill returned to Stanford, however, even they began to question why they were looking out for the human. They jotted it down to just looking out for the human for Bill, he needed him alive and healthy for his portal to be complete so he could leave this awful place. If he leaves and takes over dimension 46’\, it’ll leave them in the Nightmare Realm all by themself, which they honestly would prefer. They would have their peace and quiet once more and not have to hear Bill’s consistent chatter about world domination, perhaps he’d let Stanford live, he did have a soft spot for that human. Whatever, it’s none of their concern. 

Until it was. 

“Hey, Alvah.” they let out a hum as Stanford sat across from them as they played a game of chess, letting him know that they were listening, they stared at the pieces on the board as they thought of where they should move their rook “You know a lot about, Bill, right?” he noticed the way their hand pause for a second before slowly moving their rook across the board. 

“I do. Why? Are you curious about something, Fordsy?” their eyes look at him curiously. 

“I believe he is… hiding something from me.” they hum again, watching Stanford move his pawn forward “I can trust you, right?” they shrug. 

“Whether you trust me or not, I don’t care.” 

“Let me rephrase it then; have you lied to me at all?” they rolled their fingers on the armrest of the chair before letting it rest there but their finger started drawing circles in the air. 

“I do not lie. I may keep secrets, but I am not prone to lying. I don’t see a point in lying to someone.” 

“Even if it were to hurt their feelings?” 

“I don’t care about people’s feelings. I’ll tell you a bit of the truth, but I won’t tell you the full truth. It isn’t considered lying if I don’t tell you the full story.” he narrowed his eyes at Alvah’s logic, to which they shrugged again as they moved their bishop to take the knight that was previously being protected by the pawn “Now, why do you believe Bill is hiding something from you? Don’t you trust him?” they raised a brow when they saw him hesitate, now this is new. 

“It’s just, well,” he let out a sigh as he moved his other knight to take their bishop “Fiddleford and I are so close to finishing the portal and he’s been acting… different.” they tilt their head to the side. 

“Different? How so?” he laces his fingers together, pursing his lips as he tries to think of the words. 

“Well, he started to question where the origin of the portal had come from. When I told him it was from a close source of mine, he didn’t fully believe me but didn’t stop to question it.” he looked up at Alvah and saw that they were still listening, going so far as to roll their wrist to get him to continue “When I brought it up with Bill, he told me that Fiddleford was merely jealous that I managed to create such a complex machine.” 

“And? Do you believe Bill?” his eyes hardened a little. 

“I want to believe him, but Fiddleford would never think like that. He’s been my intellectual equal since our days in Backupsmore. I don’t believe he’d ever be jealous of me, but I don’t understand why Bill would say such a thing.” 

“How can you be so sure? Things could change over time.” they watch as he moves his rook but in retaliation they move their other bishop across the board, forcing him to use another one of his pieces to shield his king from being claimed “You should always be careful who you place your trust in, Stanford. One might take advantage of your friendliness, and you would never know which one is doing it. They’ll say nice things to weaken your resolve, and the moment you open your arms out to them, they’re stabbing you in the back to get what they want. But what do they have to gain out of it.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, on one hand, Fiddleford dropped everything just to come and help you with this project. He left his wife and child and didn’t even stop to question what he was getting himself involved in, quite the dedication he has for his best friend. On the other hand, we have Bill Cipher. An interdimensional, dream demon who acknowledged your brilliance and chose you out of billions of other humans to be the one to complete his lifelong project. Taking time out of his routine to come visit you, whether it be in reality or within the sanctum of your mind. Both these individuals seem to hold a place in your heart, they are something special to you, and you are struggling to decide which one you should place your trust in.” they moved their rook forward and took out another one of his pieces, which forced him to move his king “So, who do you trust more? The one who was there when you were nothing, or the one who was there when you became something?” they moved their queen across the board and smirked to themself “Checkmate.” his eyes widened as he looked at the board and saw that their pieces cornered his king, he let out a sigh as he collapsed into the back of his seat. 

“I don’t know what to do.” 

“Well, sort your feelings out. Your mind is clouding your judgement, and one day, someone is going to get hurt because of your foolishness. Decide who to trust. But let me tell you one thing.” he swallowed thickly when their tone got dark “Be careful around Bill. He’s not all that he makes himself out to be. He is one too hold a grudge to those who have double crossed him, and though you might be his favorite, don’t expect him to go easy on you.” they started laughing before raising their hands to form a triangle over their left eye “Beware of the beast with just one eye.” Stanford shielded his face when darkness enveloped the room as their laughter rung out before it all disappeared, he swallowed thickly as he looked around in a daze. 

“Beware of the beast with just one eye?” Alvah watches Stanford in the shadows as he mulled over their words, they themself grinned rather mischievously. 

“The seed of doubt has been planted.” they snickered quietly before returning to the Nightmare Realm and waited for the chaos to ensue. 

And so, we’re getting closer to wrapping up this flashback, but also not quite there yet. Alvah already knew that Stanford and Fiddleford have almost completed the construction of the portal, but they hadn’t realized just how close, because whilst they were minding their own business in the Nightmare Realm, relaxing after fulfilling their daily chaotic routine, they were startled when a hole opened up and out of nowhere. Curiously, they did approach it and concluded that they had finally managed to successfully finish the portal, but what caught them by surprise was when a head poked through. Upon closer inspection, they recognized the human as Fiddleford, they tilted their head to the side as they stared at him while he looked up at them and their face slowly morphed into one of pure terror. 

"You... aren't supposed to be here." they spoke, voice disoriented through the chaos that was their body. They sighed softly when he screamed in fear so they did the only sane thing they could think of, they raised their hand and pushed him right back where he came from, and the hole disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. 

"What was that?" looking over they see Bill approach them, his singular eye tinged with curiosity. 

"I believe your toy has finally finished his project." this made the triangular figure glow with glee, clapping his hands joyfully as he floated circles around their head "Congratulations, Bill. You're finally getting your doomsday." he let out a laugh as he hovered in front of their face. 

"I know, right? I'm gonna go round up the others!" they wave him goodbye and can only imagine the look of devastation on Stanford’s face the moment he realizes that everything he had built was all for nothing, that Bill was taking advantage of him the whole time while they themself knew about it all and said nothing about it. It was probably a couple hours later where Alvah was laying in a body of clouds relaxing, they didn’t really feel fatigue or exhaustion like living beings, but it was very relaxing to just longue around and do nothing. Well, that was until they heard something in the distance. One by one their eyes would slowly open and dart around to try and locate the source of the sound but couldn’t find anything, so with a low groan, they pulled themself up to try and find it but jumped when something flew into their face. 

“What the—" suddenly their face started getting wet and when they moved their eyes to look at what it was, they saw that it was Bill “Bill? What happened? What are you—” they let out a grunt as they managed to rip him off their face like a sticker, they held him in front of them and there they saw that he was… crying? 

“Y-You’ll never believe it…” their eyes look at him in confusion. 

“What? What happened? Why are you crying?” he sniffled and moved so that he was sitting within the palm of their hand. 

“Sixer figured out what I was planning after that little mishap with specs, he swore “eternal vengeance” and shut down the portal.” this revelation caused a few of their eyes to widen a little, they didn’t expect that outcome “But it’s not like I was going to let him get hurt, when we were going to ravage his dimension, I was going to let him join our band of freaks. With that sixth finger of his, he would have fit right in!” they nodded their head and laid back down on the clouds. 

“So, what are you going to do now, Bill? That portal is practically finished, all you’ve got to do is switch it back on and you’ll have your apocalypse.” Bill knew he wasn’t able to do anything in the physical realm unless he possessed Stanford’s body, so he looked up at them with a hopeful look in his ey— “I’m not doing it for you.” he let out a huff at their words. 

“Why not?! You’re able to manipulate their dimension however you please! You’ve been watching him so you know how to turn the thing on, so you could just do it for me!” they just shrug. 

“Don’t wanna.” Alvah laughs when he got angry “It’s none of my business whether he abandons you or not. I never said I was on your side, nor was I on his side. I’ll do whatever is most entertaining to me.” they hear his growl under his breath before he floats off their hand. 

“Fine! Don’t help me. But I’m not letting Sixer get away with this.” they shrug and relax into the clouds. 

“Do what you want.” they laugh quietly to themself and watch Bill float away, probably heading to O’Sadley’s, a multidimensional pub in the Rock Bottom Asteroid Belt of the Vicious Spiral Nebula. They wait until they could no longer feel his presence within the Nightmare Realm before appearing within Stanford’s dimension, they’re in his house but they couldn’t find him, so they search outside and found him standing in front of a bonfire with all three of his journals in his hands “Whatcha doin’?” they laughed when he jumped, panicking when he nearly dropped his research into the fire but quickly caught them and held them close to his chest. 

“A-Alvah…?” he looked down and found them inside his shadow, they waved up at him but noticed how his face hardened “Did you know the purpose of the portal?” they titled their head to the side. 

“Yes.” he let out a groan, throwing his head back in frustration “I warned you from the very beginning, Fordsy? You’re quite dumb for a man who proclaims to be a genius. He was playing you from the beginning and I was giving you subtle hints about it, but you weren’t able to pick up on it. This is exactly why I called you dumb, dumb, dumb.” he never did like it when they called him that, but that’s exactly what he was, a complete and utter fool. He can recall the times where they hinted at the fact that Bill was lying to him, it was mostly during the times when he praised Bill, and they would call him a fool for saying such a thing and mock his intelligence.  

“Are you here to stop me?” 

“Stop you from doing what?” 

“From shutting down the portal! Isn’t that why you’re here?” they laughed again. 

“Hah! No. Bill did want me to switch it back on, but I don’t wanna do that. I could care less about what he wants. I wasn’t on his side to begin with, I was just here for the entertainment.” they blow a raspberry as they shrug “But remember what I told you, Stanford. He is not going to go easy on you, you better find a way to keep him out.” he swallowed thickly at their words. 

“Yes, you are right.” 

“I was right from the start. I told you; I don’t lie.” 

“No, no you do not.” 

Alvah watched from within his shadow as he tried figuring out a way to keep Bill out of his lab but allow him in, since he made that deal with Bill that allowed him into his mind, he was worried that when he fell asleep Bill would possess his body and attempt to reactivate the portal. Alvah clearly doesn’t care about the outcome, they stated they’re not on Bill’s side, but they didn’t say they were on his side either. He didn’t know if he could trust their word on it, Alvah wasn’t confined to his mind and could freely travel through shadows and any reflection, so he couldn’t think of a way to keep them at bay like he could with Bill. 

Alvah thought it was quite impressive that Stanford managed to input a retinal scan on the door to his lab, knowing that when Bill was in the possession of any sort of body, the pupils of their host tend to become thinner while their sclera turned a shade of yellow. So, when he did eventually fall asleep and Bill did come into possession of his body, they watched within the shadows how Bill punched the steel door until his knuckles started to tear and bleed, he then resorted to scratching at the door like a caged animal until he split his nails. Bill, when possessing a body, was restricted to the physical capabilities of his host, so they were a little surprised at the strength Stanford had to be able to leave marks on the door. When Bill eventually gave up and returned to the Nightmare Realm, they appeared on the wall where Stanford lay unconscious and stared at the state of the door. Covered in scratch marks and smeared with his blood, if they hadn’t witnessed what happened, they would never have guessed a human man caused that much damage, rather a blood thirsty beast clawing desperately to get inside.  

Stanford woke up in the morning and his hands were in agonizing pain, he thought he would have found himself in front of his lab door but instead he was in his bed once more. Lifting his hands out from under the covers he was surprised to see they were wrapped securely in bandages and on his desk was a bowl that had a hand towel drenched in a mixture of his blood and water, alongside it was a glass of water and what looked like his aspirin. He would have thought that it was Fiddleford that treated his hands, that he had returned after what he had put him through, but beside the glass of water was a tiny note. 

‘you’ve got a bit of cleaning up to do ~ a’ 

“Alvah…” he whispered softly, he looks back down at his hands and noticed that his nails were a little shorter than the last time he checked. He took a breath as he gently rubbed over the bandages; they were on his side. Back in the Nightmare Realm, Alvah ignored the distant crying and screaming and watched Stanford closely, their finger drawing circles through the window to his dimension. 

“Ah, I’ve got too much work cut out for me.” 

Alvah watched as Bill grew desperate while Stanford’s mind slowly descended into insanity, they didn’t know if his desperation was what kept their involvement with Stanford to a minimum, but he had yet to notice how it was them patching up Stanford with everything that geometrical freak was throwing at him. They themself didn’t understand why they got involved with Stanford, they didn’t understand why they were helping him, they kept telling themself that it was just to spite Bill. They didn’t like Bill all too much, that’s why they were on the human’s side. Well, it was quite funny seeing him throw tantrum after tantrum each time Stanford denied him access to his mind. The zombie incident was a mess, it was a little hilarious watching Stanford and Bill converse through sticky notes like the humans do in their educational prisons, the oddest one by far was Bill taping a snake into his journal and how he retaliated? Playing Bill’s favorite song “the world is small ever after for always” by Inkwell, unfortunately it was now replaying within the Nightmare Realm. 

They appear within Stanford’s room but noticed that he was nowhere to be found, they reappear inside his lab and don’t find him in there either. He couldn’t possibly be outside, the season changed to the colder one so there was no way he was outside unless he wanted to be frozen like a popsicle. Roaming the hallways of his barely lit shack, Alvah was struggling to find him, but when they searched upstairs, they noticed that one of his windows leading to the roof was open. It was the early morning, and the sun was up, but it was barely peaking through the thick clouds that blanketed the earth with layers of snow, but outside on the rooftop was Stanford. He was woken from his slumber when he felt a blast of freezing cold air blow through him, his eyes shot open, and it took him a couple seconds to realize that he was outside. His eyes slowly trailed downwards, and he realized that he was on the roof of his shack, his foot hanging off the edge as if he was about to step off. If his body wasn’t already shaking due to the cold, then his body started to tremble at the thought of Bill… he slowly pulled his foot back and inched away from the edge, hugging his body that was turning blue due to hyperthermia. How long had he been out here? He could barely feel his fingers and the snow was seeping into his clothes and melting, nothing feels worse than wet socks. Maybe it was due to him being lost in his thoughts or the sudden gust of wind, but his eyes widened when he lost his footing and started to fall. He clawed desperately at anything to catch himself but due to the layer of snow on his roof he found nothing to grab, a gasp left him he had practically fallen off the roof but was caught in midair by his wrist.  

“How’s it hanging?” looking up, he didn’t see anyone but when he looked forward, he had realized he had fallen in front of the open window where his shadow cast inside and there he saw Alvah had caught him by his shadow “Now what are you doing outside? It’s cold out, isn’t it?” they laugh as they pull him inside, placing him gently on the ground. Their head tilts to the side when they saw him shivering so they closed the window and drag him to where the fireplace was well lit and the song “Sweet Dreams” by Eurythmics was softly playing in the background, they disappear but reappear to drape a blanket over him to help. 

“T-Thank you…” they let out a hum, he looks down at his hands and saw they were wrapped in bandages and his body felt oddly sore, had the shock made him unaware of the pain he was experiencing? 

“Bill knows.” his eyes flicker towards Alvah. 

“He knows? H-He knows what?” 

“… he knows that I’ve been the one helping you.” he jumped to his feet but fell back down when a wave of exhaustion washed over his body, what did Bill do to him? “In the beginning I kind of let him do what he wanted with your body, but he almost took it too far and I had to intervene. Questioned what I was doing so I told him how I was just doing it because it was funny seeing him all angry at the loss of his favorite toy.” 

“What did he do?” they snapped their fingers, and he was suddenly in front of his TV and in their hands was a VHS tape. 

“You’re really not going to like this.” they put the VHS in the player and watched as the TV spurred to life, they watched Stanford’s face closely, and he was completely stunned. He almost didn’t recognize the wild-eyed hermit staring back on the TV; it was him. Or rather, Bill in his body, from the previous night.  

“Welcome back to the puppet hour with Bill! Say hi, kids! Today’s puppet is my old pal Sixer. Sixer’s had a rough day. But his night was rougher, wanna see?” as the TV displayed what exactly happened the night prior, they watched how his face contorted with a range of different emotions; disbelief, shock, anxiousness. On the floor, Bill had graciously littered the floor with polaroids of his adventures with little headings on them. He picked them up slowly but paused when Bill started speaking again, but this time, he heard another voice “What do you think you’re doing?” what he was watching was the moment when Bill was hammering nails into his hand, or, he was planning on hammering nails into his hand. He placed the first nail into the center of his hand but before he could swing the hammer down, his wrist was caught by Alvah grabbing him by Stanford’s shadow. 

“What does it look like I’m doing, Cipher? Interfering~” within the restrictions of Stanford’s physical capabilities, he struggled under Alvah’s hold “It was quite funny watching you mess with his body in the beginning, but come on now, doesn’t he need his hands? How are you going to get him to turn the portal on if you mess up his hands?” they’re laughing at the way Bill struggled to free himself from their grip. 

“So, you’re the reason sixer hasn’t given up yet!” 

“Am I though? Just watching the back-and-forth banter between you two is just so funny! If I didn’t know it, it seems like you need him more than he needs you! I didn’t think you’d be such a clingy, little ex.” Bill manages to throw their hand back, his twisted grin turned into a glare “Oh, but that’s right. You aren’t the one that’s meant to be thrown away, it’s supposed to be the other way around. I just didn’t expect the great and mighty Bill Cipher to be so… desperate.” 

“Clingy…? Desperate?!” they continue to laugh. 

“Am I wrong?” the video of their interaction ends there but he could tell that any time when Bill attempted to harm his body, Alvah interfered and made sure that not a lot of damage was inflicted on his body. Picking up a polaroid, he found one where a dart from a dart board was lodged into his temple, so he raised his hand and felt more bandages “I don’t think you want to watch this part.” this caused him to look back towards the TV, he watched in confusion as Bill limped towards a payphone and… he punched in Stanley’s phone number, h-he wouldn’t. 

“Hey, brother, it’s Sixer. I’m going to take a swim in the frozen lake tomorrow, so if you don’t hear from me, I just want you to know that it’s because I never loved you. Buh-byeeeee!” Stanford felt as if his heart was in his throat, but his eyes closed in relief when he heard the dial tone, the pay phone was out of order. The message hadn’t gotten through, he opened his eyes and saw how Bill turned back to address him “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Look what you made me make you do! Tomorrow’s tape is gonna be much worse. Want the show to end? Go downstairs and work on the portal. Or I’m gonna have to show you what I’m really made of.” Alvah eyes Stanford as the TV screen turned static, his face seemed to be a mixture of emotions again. This time, however, he looked completely livid. He stood to his feet and ripped the VHS tape out and threw it into the fire, watching it turn to cinders before screaming. 

“You have no power here! You’re just in my mind! I can outlast anything you can—” Alvah watches as he halts in all his movements, they let out a sigh when they know that Bill’s power over Stanford must before taking over his mind. They grabbed him by his shadow when he started to sway and placed him back down on his coach, laying him down as his body twitched and trembled due to the chaos going on inside his mind. They loomed over and watched him, his face contorting in pain, his breath becoming heavier as sweat dripped down his face.  

I don’t care. 

This human means nothing to me. 

Their misery is entertainment, that’s all. 

But… 

They lean closer to his face before letting out a sigh, raising their hand over his face and pressing their index finger the center of his forehead, whispering a few words under their breath and his face visibly relaxes. 

"That should be enough... hopefully."  

Stanford felt as if his body was paralyzed.  

Where am I? 

It felt as if his bones were being pulled slowly, slowly out from their sockets. 

It was excruciating. 

I tried to scream, but nothing came out— 

“Think, Sixer. You let me. In. Your. Head. Do you realize what I can do in here if I want? I can flip a switch that makes every neuron burn with pain beyond imagination. I can rewire your optic nerve so that the sky is below you, play a tone that gets louder and louder until you bash your own skull just to make it stop. I can delete memories randomly, just for fun. Maybe I already have. What do you want to remember? Your mother’s face? Your own name? Who are you anyway?” 

“That’s ridiculous! I’m… I’m…” his tried to think of his name but his mind what completely blank, a snap echoed through his head, and it came to him “I’m Stanf—” and he lost his train of thought again when the snap echoed once more. He pressed his hands to his head when he felt his sockets start to strain. Any and all his tendons would pop, his bones would slinter. He fell to his knees, on the verge of emptying what was in his stomach. 

“You’re my property. Don’t forget it. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won’t want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you? And let’s not forget about your Alvah. You think they actually care about you? You think just because they’re still around they’re doing it because they like you? Don’t make me laugh. They don’t care about anything, much less a human with little to no value to them. They are one of the most neutral beings throughout the universe who never picks a side, who would watch a universe burn to cinders than lend a hand, who wouldn’t shed a tear or bat an eye at the sound of screaming and anguished cries! They won’t help you; they won’t save you, and they won’t interfere so long as I—Ah!” Stanford let out a gasp when Bill was suddenly blasted away from him, he felt something embracing him and pulled him back as Bill collected himself and came back “Wha—you! What are you doing here?!” he tried to look up at the figure, but a shadowy hand covered his eyes, their arms wrapped protectively around him as a voice spoke. 

“I’ve come to steal your precious little toy, Bill~” they let out a laugh, Stanford shuddered out a breath at the sound of a voice that was made up of what seemed like thousands of screams and cries, possibly even more “You sound like you’re projecting, poor, sweet, little Billy. Are you still mad about what happened all those years ago? Talk about holding a grudge, huh? I was right about that one about you, Bill.” he managed to peek through their hands and saw the way Bill turned a bright shade of red as he got angry, his eye glaring at what he knew was to be Alvah. 

“You… why are you choosing to help him?! You don’t even have a contract with him, and yet you’re going to help him?! You’ve never done that for anyone! You’ve always just sat by and watched things happen! You’ve never interfered! You’ve never done anything!” 

“Who knows, but I do know that watching you like this is just the best thing I’ve seen in over trillions of years!” Stanford was pushed back, and he was met with the overwhelming sight of a dark black and red storm cloud where you could hear disoriented and agonizing screams “If taking Stanford Pines is what’s going to keep this game going on a little longer, than I’m willing to interfere just to see you become less of what you believe you are, Bill Cipher!” 

“I will never forget this!”  

Stanford awoke with a fright, shooting upwards and panting out in exhaustion. Looking down, he found himself sitting on his couch but after looking around he found his living room cleaned up with the polaroids pilled together and placed in a shoebox on his coffee table. He stands up and finds a little note sitting on top of the pile, picking it up, he felt his lip tremble as he read it. 

‘fine, I may care a little ~ a’ 

He didn’t care if Alvah was on his side because they found it amusing when Bill threw a tantrum, or because they found it entertaining to watch him lose his mind, but this goes to show that they were willing to keep Bill at bay for him. He holds the note close to him before turning on his heel, he knows what he has to do now.  

Meanwhile, the residents of the Nightmare Realm hid in the deepest corners of their dimension in order to keep away from the onslaught that was going on. Bill was screaming out in frustration while Alvah laughed their head off, the two of them in an ongoing battle where the Harbinger of Chaos wasn’t taking anything serious while Bill was trying everything in his power to erase them from existence. Two of the Nightmare Realm’s most powerful beings were fighting because one of going through a messy break up while the other was just bored, the Axolotl would be severely disappointed in them.  

… 

… 

“And that’s my past with Stanford.” she ended with a fond smile, thinking back to that day thirty years ago. While she was telling this story, she refrained from dropping Bill’s name or any involvement of him and merely referred to him as “his muse”, Ford would be angry if she told them about his deal with Bill instead of him, so she was going to wait “In the beginning I was just an insufferable guest, he came to like me over the course of the portal’s construction and when Fidds left him and went insane, I became a sort of caretaker to him. With how stubborn he is, I’m probably not going to get a thank you out of him.” she stood there and waited for a response, she looked at them and saw the way they were staring up at her with teary eyes. 

“You… you really cared for Grunkle Ford.” her face twisted into an incredulous one. 

“Care? That’s funny. I cared enough to keep him alive, but I didn’t care enough to keep him out of harms way.” she deadpanned when Mabel wrapped her arms around her legs. 

“You’re not denying that you care.” Alvah scoffed as she scooped up Mabel and placed her back down beside Dipper “Then what about Grunkle Stan? Do you care about him? What’s your past with him? When did you two first meet?” she chuckled softly. 

“Hmm, that’s something you’ve got to ask him about. Ever since my contract with Stanford, I had kept an eye on anyone relating to him. Albeit friends or family, but I kept my eye on Stanley for a long time.” she places a finger to her chin, looking up in thought “My first genuine meeting with Stanley is something I can’t particularly remember, I was always lingering around in the shadows helping every now and then. But I don’t think he’ll want to discuss such a memory, he’s been distant from me since the reveal, which is understandable.” she raised a brow when she saw the determination on Mabel’s face. 

“I will get that backstory, no matter what it takes!” with that the girl rushed off to find Stan, she just shrugged her shoulders with a shake of her head. 

“Did you, though?” she hummed at Soos’ question, he shrunk a little as he twiddled his thumbs “Did you actually care about Mr. Pines? O-Or even us? Was everything you did just an obligation?” they didn’t notice the way her face twitched a little, she let out a breath as she looked towards nothing in particular. 

“Who knows? But whether I care or not does not change the fact that I am here to protect you. You are under my protection, and I will make it so that Bill does not bring you any more harm.” Dipper flinched at the mention of Bill and rubbed his arms, he looked up and jumped slightly where he sat when he saw Alvah kneel down in front of him “And I am so sorry that I stood by and let you make a deal with him, Dipper. I saw you when he took your body, but I wasn’t allowed to do anything.” she could remember that day as if it were yesterday, when she, Wendy and Soos approached Bipper and when Dipper tried to stop them, he flew through her body. She remembered turning around and seeing the distraught look on his face, but she was forced to look away and pretend she didn’t see him, it really did make her feel remorseful. 

“W-Why couldn’t you?” 

“You should know about time anomalies, Dipper. That stupid time baby or whatever would be furious if I were to mess with this timeline even more so than I already have, if I were to have prevented such a thing I would get into even more trouble. My contracts can bend a lot of rules, but messing with the flow of time is a definite no.” she took his hat and ruffled his head “Why do you think I was lot more attentive back then?” he thought back to that day and did remember the pained expression on her face when she and Stan brought him to the hospital. 

“So, you couldn’t directly interfere with what happened over the summer, but you could intervene as long as you didn’t stop us directly?” she nods “Then, could you tell us what’s going to happen next?” she pressed a finger to her lips as she placed his hat back down on his head. 

“I can’t share any spoilers, now, can I?”  

“Alvah!” she let out an oh at the sound of her name being called, they all looked up and saw Ford at the door “I need you down in the lab, could you come and assist me?” she saluted him with a smile. 

“Coming~” he waits for her behind as she looks back down at Dipper, she winks at him and boops his nose “Duty calls. See you later, sweetpea.” they watch as she turned on her heel and walked out with Ford, her appearance changing back into her male version, the one that Ford prefers. He follows closely behind Ford, chatting with him as he speaks about a rift, and as they pass the living room his eyes catch Mabel and Stanley. He lifted his head up and noticed his brother and Alvah walk into the gift shop, the latter laughing softly as Ford spoke, he flinched when Alvah turned and met his gaze. He twiddled his fingers to greet Stan before turning away and going down into the lab with Ford behind him, he let out a sigh as he fell back into his chair. 

“Do you miss her, Grunkle Stan?” he looked down at Mabel before letting out a scoff, crossing his arms and looking away. 

“Miss her? After everything? Pah, I say good riddance! Am I a little upset that she’s hanging around my brother now? Maybe. Am I sad that I no longer talk to her anymore? Kind of… but that doesn’t mean anything! Clearly what we had meant nothing to her!” Mabel looked up at him, a brow quirked upwards as he rambled about everything that happened between them would be forgotten sooner or later. 

“I didn’t want to bring this up with you, Grunkle Stan, but I saw the night you two dance together.” she had to hold back a squeal when he flinched, his face turning bright red at the thought of that night “I saw the way you looked at her, but I also saw the way she looked at you. She told us how she isn’t able to properly feel emotions, but what I saw that night, I can guarantee you that wasn’t fake. She said it herself; she isn’t a liar.” he let out a groan. 

“But she hasn’t be truthful either!” Mabel’s gaze hardened on him. 

“Neither have you.” his shoulders slump, she let out a huff “I understand that you’re upset, but from what I can tell, everything she’s done leading up to this point has been on her own accord. Her helping us and everything, and with whatever you two had going on, I’m sure she did it all for a reason.” he rubbed the back of his neck “But she said she couldn’t quite remember when you two first met? She said she was always lingering around and watching, but her first interaction with you, she can’t really recall it.” he let out a breath as he leaned against the table, looking up in thought. 

“First interaction, first interaction…” her fingers were crossed, repeatedly thinking in her head “please remember, please remember”, he then shoots up and snaps his fingers “Oh, yeah! I totally remember!” she’s quick to take a seat beside him, looking up at him excitedly. 

“Really? What happened?”  

“Well, it was when the Mystery Shack was finally getting some traction.” it was just like any other day at the Mystery Shack, people come in, he lies through his teeth about the attractions in his house while sprinkling jokes in every now and then before scamming those poor suckers out of their money. It was at the end of the day when the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes upon approached him at the counter, he was at a loss for words as she looked at him. She had blonde hair that was the softest tone of blonde that he’d compared to sand on a beautiful sunny day, eyes as green as freshly cut grass that shun like an emerald if the sun hit them just right. Compared to these hicks, she was wearing elegant and formal clothing, so she stood out compared to the rest of the crowd.  

She was like a gem amongst a pile of rocks. 

“Good evening, Mr. Mystery.” she giggled softly as he gawked at her, his eyes blinking rapidly as she spoke to him in a soft voice, she laughed when he pointed at himself with a confused look “Well, yes. Is there anyone else that goes by the title of Mr. Mystery?” he cleared his throat and quickly collected himself, pulling on his collar but unable to cover the flush that spread across his cheeks. 

“I guess not. I am the one and only, Mr. Mystery.” he holds his hand out to her “The name’s Stan Pines, pleasure to meet you.” she takes his hand and shakes it. 

“I am Alvah, it’s lovely to meet you too.” she took her hand back and continued to smile up at Stan, he let out a nervous laugh. 

“Are you new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen you.” 

“I’ve been around here and there, but normally keep to myself. I heard the attraction going around these parts and decided to pay a visit to the “Mystery Shack” everybody was raving about.” she hummed softly as she gently flicked a jar of eyeballs “And I have to say, I see what all the hype is about. You have a very fascinating collection on your hands. Did you hunt them down yourself?” she slowly raised her brow when he pulled on his tie. 

“Ah haha, well. You could say I did, I mean, they’re here now, aren’t they?” 

“I suppose so.” they both noticed how the tourist was beginning to leave so Alvah took that as her cue to leave as well, she twiddled her fingers at him to bid him goodbye and proceeded to walk away but stopped when he called out to her. 

“Hey!” she stopped in her tracks and turned back to him, curious at what he had to say “Will you come again?” she tilts her head to the side. 

“Are you personally asking me to come again? I’m honored.” she giggled when he scoffed, messing with his tie again “I’ll come back every now and then. I’ll go broke if I come back every day with how much you charge.” 

“Y-You can come back any time! Hehe, free of charge…” she hummed softly, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. 

“Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow, Stan.” she winks at him before walking out the door, unbeknownst to her, he had the derpiest grin on his face as he waved her goodbye. 

“Hehe, you’ve still got it, Stanley.” now he couldn’t help but scowl at the memory “I believe she only did that out of pity. Oh wait, she can’t feel pity, now, can she? She must have saw how pathetic I looked and decided then and there would be when she asserted herself with that appearance, knowing it would ruin me.” Mabel placed a hand on his arm and gave it a light squeeze “I knew… I knew that smile was just too good to be true. She outconned me.” 

“Well… what if she meant it? Didn’t she say that everything she’s done leading up to now, she’s never lied to you.” his resolve softened a little before shaking his head upon realizing what she said. 

“How do you know that? We were alone when she said that.” Mabel let out a nervous laugh. 

“Ah hahaha, were you? I totally wasn’t listening in on your conversation. Nope, not at all.” Stan shook his head and gently ruffled her head. 

“Our first meeting wasn’t anything special. She was just a tourist who claimed to be fascinated by what the Mystery Shack had to offer, but she’s probably seen even grander things than this junk house.” with that his face saddened once more, seemingly missing the bond both he and Alvah had before the cat got out of the bag, he had almost wished she wasn’t who she claimed to be. 

“Do you hate her?” there it was again, this time spoken by his niece.  

“… I don’t know.” Mabel just couldn’t stand for this. She may just be twelve years old, but that’s old enough for her to see what Stan and Alvah had. She saw the way they looked at each other, the way they spoke to each other and how could she forget that tender and intimate moment they shared on that night. This mishap couldn’t be the undoing of their relationship, and she’ll make sure of it “H-Hey, kiddo, where are you going?” he asked when she jumped off the stool and started running towards the vending machine. 

“Just to ask Alvah a couple questions!” he stood to his feet, reaching his hand out to stop her but was too late when she punched in the code to the vending machine and walked down the hallway to Ford’s lab. Back with Alvah, he was currently leaning over Ford’s shoulder as they were discussing their plan to seal a leakage caused by Stanley reactivating the portal once more. 

“So… are you really not going to thank Stanley?” he let out a scoff. 

“Thank him? For what?” 

“Well, for returning you back to your dimension. Surely you must feel some sort of gratitude.” he leans back when Ford turned around, giving Alvah an irritated expression. 

“He was the reason I fell in in the first place. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have had to be in there.” he hums softly. 

“That is true, then how about impressed?” this got a short chuckle out of him. 

“Impressed by what?” 

“Well, how about him teaching himself about quantum physics? Reconstructing the portal with only having a third of the portal’s instructions, completely unaware there were more instructions due to the invisible ink? Building it all by himself while also maintaining a business that was so successful and also looking after his great niece and nephew? He had no help either. Not from McGucket, Bill or even me.” he raised his finger, wagging it side to side in front of Ford’s face “If anything, your brother is goddamn genius. He has my praise.” he laughed when Ford smacked his hand away. 

“You’re giving him too much credit if you’re calling him a genius.” he shrugged and allowed his body to float, leaning backwards and resting his head in his hands. 

“What can I say? For a high school dropout who had no further education for himself, I am very impressed that he managed to reconstruct the portal the way he did. He had almost completed it by the time he got his hands on journal two and three, and it didn’t take him too long to complete it.” he smirked down at Ford, giving him a toothy grin “If that doesn’t make him a genius, then pardon me.” 

“You seem to like Stanley a lot. When we first met, you did nothing but ridicule me.”  

“Hah! Of course, I told you it was because you were stupid enough to fall for Bill’s flattery. The self-proclaimed genius who didn’t even realize he was being played. Unlike you, Stanley is emotionally intellectual. Though he didn’t admit it, he knew there was something wrong with me, always questioned why someone like me would hang around him. Sure, it was the same between you and Bill, but he had you in the palm of his hand in a couple hours. Stanley was a harder nut to crack. He liked the fact that he was getting attention from a beautiful woman, but he was so guarded it took a couple years for him to fully allow me in. Hmm, but I believe we’re back in square one now.” he shrugged his shoulders “He also makes me laugh.” this earned an eyeroll.  

“Yes, yes, because all you care about is whether or not you are entertained.” he snapped his fingers, now leaning forward. 

“Yes, exactly.” 

“Alvah!” both men jump at the loud call, turning around, they see Mabel abruptly enter the room with a determined look on her face. Ford briefly looks up at Alvah and saw him change back into their female appearance, he noticed that they tend to do that around the children and Stan’s employees. 

“What is it, sweetheart?” she answered, continuing to float in the air but this time positioning herself as if she was in a chair with her legs crossed “How may I assist you now?” she let out a yelp when Mabel grabbed her by the ankle and yanked her down. She now sat on her knees as Mabel held her by her collar, staring her in the eyes with a serious look, a bead of sweat bled down the side of her face. 

“How do you feel about Grunkle Stan?” she let out a sigh as she slumped in her hold. 

“This again? Are you ever going to let this go, Mabel?” she allowed the young girl to thrash her around and hang by her grip. 

“How can I?! His feelings are all over the place ever since learning that you were lying who you were all this time.” she muttered under her breath that she didn’t exactly lie if she didn’t tell the full truth, she was kicked by Ford, who promptly looked away when she looked back up at him “It’s up to me to clear up this entire misunderstanding. To help you fully understand your feelings for Grunkle Stan.” she only deadpanned. 

“Good luck with that, kid. This body isn’t exactly designed to comprehend emotions, I don’t even have a personality to call my own.”  

“That’s really sad.” Mabel let her go and she allowed herself to fall to the ground, the young brunette stepped over her and rushed towards Ford, who awkwardly stared down at her in mild curiosity “Grunkle Ford, do you have anything that can project people’s thoughts?” this caused Alvah to look up at Ford, who he himself looked up in thought while rubbing his chin. 

“Do I have something that can project people’s thoughts? Why, that’s very specific. If only I—hah! Of course I do.” he continued to rub his chin as he debated whether it would be a good idea “As much as I’d like to decline the usage of this machinery, I am also more curious as to what you have been up to with my brother the past three decades.” Alvah let out a huff as she pushed herself off the ground and began to float again. 

“And why should I allow you to use this on me? It’s quite dangerous to peer into the mind of the embodiment of chaos. Aren’t you afraid you’ll end up like McGucket?” Mabel let out a laugh. 

“Psh, like you’d let that happen. You like me too much, and besides, I’m adorable! Would you deny this cute face?” Mabel doesn’t wait to answer as she turned back to look up at Ford to ask, or rather plead, to use the device he mentioned. This left him to look up at Alvah and see the way she pouted with a tinge of pink flushing her cheeks, she was trying so hard to deny Mabel’s claims but was ultimately failing. That’s where she found herself sitting on the chair in front of five monitors, sitting particularly in front of a large screen while two smaller ones were to her right and left. If she remembered correctly, Ford dubbed this device as Project Mentem as a defense against Bill, which main functionality was that it could scan one’s mind and bioelectrically encrypt one’s thoughts “So we just put this thingamajig on her head and we can see her thoughts?” Mabel asked as she held the helmet in her hands, Ford nodded as he took it from her and approached Alvah. 

“It’s much more complicated than that, but yes, that’s basically what it does.” she looked up at him and saw he had a cheeky grin on his face, she sneered at him while shaking her head. 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he chuckles softly. 

“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. To see the thoughts of an actual deity is something I wouldn’t have imagined. I thank you greatly for this, Mabel. You children have quite the rein on Alvah.” she just shook her head; he placed the helmet on her head then pushed a couple buttons on the control console to which it on. All five screens spurred to life and the room illuminated with a green light, the two wait patiently for something to appear on the screen but were left confused when it remained blank.  

“Is it working?” Mabel asked, his face furrowed in confusion as he pushed a couple buttons. 

“It should be.” she snickered softly. 

“You’re going to have to try and little harder than that. If you want me to think about something specifically, you have to ask~ I can blank out my mind all willy nilly. Either that or I overload your machine. My mind has a vast amount of information.” Ford huffed at her, it was never going to be that easy “Of course not.” she stuck her tongue out at him when he glared at her, she turned her attention to Mabel when she approached her, grabbing her by the legs and looking up at her with a serious expression. 

“Think about your first real encounter with Grunkle Stan.” this sparked something within her mind and the screens behind her displayed her first real encounter with Stanley. Mabel was expecting the same thing Stan told her but was greatly surprised to see something entirely different, both herself and Ford took a step towards the monitors to try and figure out what they were looking at but couldn’t quite place it. 

“The first time I met Stanley was when you wanted me to give him that postcard, Ford.” his eyes widened when he saw Alvah’s male appearance appear on the monitor walking across an empty street to approach a rundown motel, he glared at a pedestrian that bumped into him but ignored them in favor to accomplish the task at hand. He looked at the postcard once more and shook his head at the lack of information on it, in handwriting unbecoming of Stanford that read “PLEASE COME”. He just shrugged his shoulders and walked through the parking lot and towards the various rooms, Mabel let out a soft gasp when she saw Alvah walk past the Stanmobile, so this really was her first meeting with Stan. His hand glides across the many doors until stopping at one in particular, he looks at the mailing address once more before raising his fist and knocking on the door “I have a postcard for Stanley Pines~” he called out as he repeatedly knocked on the door, Alvah had all the time in the world, so he continuously knocked on the door until it swung open. Stanford already knew that this was thirty years into the past but seeing the disgruntled version of his brother was something that caught him off guard, it almost felt like it was yesterday he saw this worn-out version of Stanley. 

“Alright, alright! Don’t you see the mail slot?” Alvah just chuckled as he held the postcard between his two fingers. 

“Sorry, but the sender wanted me to make sure you got your hands on this. Didn’t want this getting lost in the mail.” he holds it out for him to take and as Stanley reaches to take it, he cheekily pulled it back “Make sure not to lose this.” he laughed when it was snatched out of his hands while the shorter man glared at him, he just backed away slightly while raising his hands up. 

“Whatever man.” the door is then slammed shut, Alvah rolled his eyes as he dusted his hands off. 

“Welp, did what I was supposed to do.” with his task done he snapped his fingers and returned to Gravity Falls, the memory ends and they look towards Alvah “My very first impression of Stanley Pines was that of a pathetic human who had hit rock bottom. I was honestly surprised that this was the brother that caused you so much discontent, Ford. This was the so-called man who “ruined your life”, talk about living up to what little his name had other than disappointment.” Alvah was smacked in the leg by Mabel, who glared up at her after hearing what she had to share about Stanley. 

“That isn’t very nice, Alvah.” she shrugged her shoulders. 

“Well, that was me in the beginning, when I was still just Fordsy’s little shadow. After you disappeared into the portal and I was stuck in this hick town, I remained within Stanley’s shadow.” the monitors flicker on once more and they watched as she watched over him, while he worked days and nights to repair the portal and would fall asleep at his desk trying to solve Stanford’s notes. She would appear behind him and instead of returning him upstairs, she would retrieve a pillow and blanket and drape it over him so he would be more comfortable. When the Mystery Shack was slowly building up fame, she would be out influencing people to go pay a visit to the man displaying a world of mystery, and it was on that very day Alvah finally became the woman she was to the Pines Family “My opinion of Stanley changed over time. You could say his devotion to bring you back and to fix his mistake, dedicating his life to save you swayed my feelings about him. There was nothing more to it.”  

“Can you think of the instance you felt something for Grunkle Stan? Something that wasn’t displeasure or just an obligation to look after him? Something that had caught you off guard.” they watched as she furrowed her brows as multiple instances went by, but nothing stood out until she slowly perked up. 

“It was… the year before you two were supposed to have arrived. It was your birthday.” this startled Ford a little “Stanley never celebrated your guy’s birthday, I knew the reason, but he told me it was because he didn’t really have anybody to celebrate it with. I wasn’t around in the beginning because I was doing other stuff, but apparently, he planned a whole party. He spent hours writing up comedy roasts about his employees, but in the end… nobody came.” they look back towards the monitors and are met with Alvah walking down a street where she accidentally bumped into Soos. 

“Miss Alvah!” she smiled at him, waving her hand to greet him. 

“How are you, Soos? Today’s a lovely day for a stroll, is it not?” she raised a brow at the glum look on his face “What’s the matter, big guy?” he let out a sigh as he took his hat off and rubbed the back of his head. 

“Mr. Pines is celebrating his birthday this afternoon, but I won’t be able to make it. My Abuelita needs my help all afternoon and I won’t be able to make it.” that and the fact that he himself didn’t exactly like celebrating his birthday caused her to nod her head “I was hoping you would tell him I said happy birthday. There’s no way you would miss it!” she didn’t even realize it was their birthday that day, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. 

“Of course I will. I’m sure he’ll be saddened without you in attendance, Soos. Give your Abuelita my regards, sweetheart.” she let out an oof when he pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tightly while lifting her off the ground. 

“Thank you so much, Alvah!” he puts her down and rushes off, waving his hand goodbye as he ran off “I’ll make sure to make it up to you!” she kept up her happy face and the moment he disappeared her face relaxed as she looked away. 

“I spent the rest of that afternoon looking for a gift for Stanley. He is quite easy to please, so I found a vintage and expensive wine, but the hard part was finding a cake.” she laughed softly at the memory, the monitors display her at multiple bakeries and pastry stores in search of a cake but for some reason they were all sold out “In the end I had to make the cake myself. It didn’t end… quite well.” the monitors flickered to her attempting to make a cake but instead setting a kitchen on fire with a panicked look on her face, by the time the sun was beginning to fall she had finally made a decent looking and tasting cake after many trials and errors. She found herself in front of his front door and proceeded to knock on it continuously until it was thrown open, she pulled her hand back when he looked ready to shout at whoever was knocking before pausing when he realized who exactly was in front of him. 

“… Alvah?” she let out a soft laugh as she leaned forward to take in his appearance. 

“Haha, what happened to your eyebrow? Did you burn it off?” she questioned as she reached forward and brushed a few of his locks out of his face to get a look at the singed hair, she giggled when he smacked her hand away and turned away to hide it. 

“No! Anyways, what are you doing here?” he sputtered backwards when she lifted something up with a bright smile on her face. 

“It’s your birthday! I came to celebrate with you.” he stares at the rather pretty looking cake as she pulled something out and saw it was a bottle of wine “I would have come earlier but would you believe it? The whole town was out of cake, so I had to make one out of scratch. Let’s just say I’m not particularly good at baking.” she titled her head to the side when she noticed he was just staring at the cake. 

“You made this… for me?” 

“Who else would I make this for?” she pushes him inside and closes the door behind her, he follows her like a lost puppy as she walks into the kitchen and places the cake on the table. He takes a seat as she grabs two glasses out of the cabinet and places one in front of Stan and another where she was going to sit, she uncorks the bottle and pours them both a glass before pulling out a candle and placing it in the center of the cake “Soos wanted to be here as well, but you know how he is around birthdays. And besides, having a simpler birthday is much better than going all out. Saves you a lot of money, doesn’t it?” she finally took a seat at the table and stared at him with a fond look in her eye, leaning against the table with the side of her head resting on her knuckles. 

“You…” she hummed softly. 

“Happy birthday, Stan.” Alvah’s face turned confused when Stan abruptly stood up and walked over to her, she was startled when he pulled her out of the chair and wrapped his broad arms around her, embracing her in a rather bone crushing hug. Her eyes widened as he buried his face within her shoulder, her arms were pinned to her side while her head was over his shoulder, she managed to twist it a little to try and look at him but noticed the way he nuzzled into her shoulder to hide the fact that he was tearing up “S-Stan? Are you—” 

“Thank you, Alvah. I really, really needed this.” Mabel and Ford noticed the way her eyes twitch when Stan tightened his grip on her, she managed to slowly lift her arms up the best she could and gently pat his back. 

“O-Oh, it’s no problem. You know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, Stan.” she purposefully didn’t address him as Ford because that would have saddened him and taken his special moment away from him. They stayed like that for a couple seconds until Stan finally let her go but continued to hold her by the arms, she tilted her head to the side to get a look at his face but saw him turn away to hide his tear-stricken eyes “Hah, are you crying?” he frees one of his hands to cover his eyes, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“No! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he flinches when she pulled him forward by the hand that was holding her so she could cup his cheek, he blinks at her and felt her wipe away a few of his tears while smiling softly at him. 

“Come on, tough guy. You don’t have to hide your vulnerability from me, I’m not going to make fun of you.” he huffed at her as she takes her hand back, he sniffles a little and wipes away the remaining tears and gives her a toothy grin. 

“I appreciate this a lot, toots! I’m gonna go find a lighter so I can light this candle! I’ll be back in a sec!” she waves him off and stands in the kitchen alone, Mabel and Ford soon notice the way her smile dropped from her face as she looked down at the wooden floor with a conflicted expression. On the smaller monitors they saw a flurry of words come across the screen, words that had her questioning herself. 

WHAT IS THIS? 

WHY DID I DO THAT? 

WHY DID I DO THIS? 

I DON’T CARE FOR HIM. 

I’M DOING THIS FOR STANFORD. 

THIS MEANS NOTHING TO ME. 

I DON’T ACTUALLY FEEL... 

“In the beginning, I didn’t feel anything.” Alvah spoke as she stared at the monitor when Stan walked back into the kitchen with a lighter in hand and in a chipper mood, she smiled at him and the two sat at the table where he lit the candle and blew it out with a face that reminded her of a child on their birthday “I knew he was going to drink himself into a stupor had I not arrived, but I didn’t expect to feel...” Mabel looked up at her, a curious look in her eyes. 

“What?” her eyes flicker towards the monitor and saw only one word. 

“Pity.” coming from her, it could be condescending, but by the remorseful look on her face as she stared at Stan’s face, they knew that she meant it in a genuine way “He just looked so sad, like a kicked puppy out in the rain. I had watched him at even worser times than that, but for some reason, actually being there made it different.” soon the summer played out for them and Mabel watched every interaction she had with Stan, and she watched intently as the way Alvah’s eyes started to look genuine. 

“Alvah, you...” 

“It was nothing. The personality I adapted was merely to match his own, but...” since the children were always off doing their own thing, they never knew the type of relationship she and Stan actually had. Ford witnessed firsthand the closeness she had with his brother and Mabel concealed her excitement of the hidden lore her great uncle had with this interdimensional being “My mind had been inside a human body for so long that it started acting like it, started feeling like it.” Mabel looked away to look up at Alvah after watching the memory where Alvah and Stan danced at the party where she first met Candy and Grenda. 

“Feeling?” her face scrunched up and instead of just Stan, it showed the children, Soos, Wendy and a few others as she thought of each emotion. 

“Anger. Sadness. Joy. Remorse. Guilt.” the memory of when the children were forced to be sent back home when Gideon had won and they couldn’t do anything about it, how when they did win, she felt an immeasurable amount of guilt inside her because she knew this was going to happen but it was at the cost of the possibly of the children losing that had her mind racing. The next scene had Ford’s eyes widened to the point his eyes were bulging out of his eye sockets while Mabel let out a squeal, that was because it was when Stan had kissed her “L-Love...” 

“You kissed my brother?!” he was shocked to see her face a bright shade of pink, she suddenly sprung to her feet as she placed a hand on her chest. 

“No! He kissed me! And it’s not like I continued to think about that moment! It was just a spur of the moment and Stan probably would have done it to anyone that was next to him! It didn’t mean anything at that moment!” 

"... I didn't, NOT, like it." she looked like a dear caught in headlights when her thoughts were exposing herself "You just... caught me off guard, is all. I wasn't expecting it." 

"Oh? So, are you saying if I were to kiss you again, you wouldn't protest?"  

"Don't push your luck, Stan. Just because I said I liked it; doesn't mean you'll get a taste anytime you want." Alvah refused to look up at Ford from where she was sitting because she knew that man was going to strangle her, however, Mabel was in front of her and started shaking her arm. 

“So you two were in love! That’s so cute!” she let out a scoff, face still flushed with embarrassment from being caught while throwing her hair over her shoulder. 

“Psh, in love? That was the only time--”  

"Stan... Stan, s-stop it!" Mabel was busy staring at Alvah so she didn’t see what memory was playing but Ford was, and to think he’d wish for the day he wasn’t wearing his glasses. Before Mabel could see what was playing Alvah hurriedly lifted the helmet off her head and the monitors switched off, they both look up at her and saw the look of shame on her face. She pushes the helmet into Ford’s hands before slowly kneeling on the floor and curling up into a ball, her hands clutching her head “I wasn’t supposed to get attached... I wasn’t supposed to gain human feelings.” Mabel knelt down and placed her hand on her back, gently rubbing circles into her back to comfort her. 

“But you did, and it looks like it’ll really upset you if Stan started to hate you.” her face scrunches up in confusion. 

“I am hated by millions of people just for simply existing. I am the devil on people’s shoulders who they blame for why their lives have fallen apart. I am so used to being the source of their hatred that I never once cared for the opinions of beings lesser than I am. But... I—I can’t stand the thought of Stan not liking me anymore.” she looked up at Mabel with a sort of desperation in her eyes “I wasn’t supposed to care, but I hate that I do now.” 

“And I’m happy that you care.” Alvah huffed “Now just repeat what you just said now and go say it to Grunkle Stan.” this snapped her out of whatever melt down she was having; she stood to her feet and shook her head. 

“No way! He doesn’t need this now!” Mabel shook her head and took Alvah by her hands. 

“But he does! He looks so lost without you. You two were always together throughout the summer, and not having you by his side is making him upset.” this caused her to start overthinking everything, should I actually tell him how I feel? Should I say sorry? Should I-- 

“Wait a minute, why I am taking the advice of a twelve-year-old?” she suddenly glares at her “I don’t got to listen to you! I am going to deny the fact that I have feelings for this old man and suffer in silence. Yes, that sounds much better.” Mabel face fell. 

“What? No! Are you seriously not going to tell Stan that it was him that caused you to develop human feelings? That it was him that got you to care?” 

“The last thing I need to hear is him gloating that he got an agent of chaos to fall in love with him. And besides, I highly doubt he wants me dating his brother.” at the mention of that, they both look at Ford and saw the way he was shaking his head at the thought “So, we are going to leave what we have just discovered in this very room. I don’t want to hear any of this outside this room. I don’t want to have to talk about the fact that I’ve grown soft. This conversation stays and dies here. Got it?” 

“But--” Alvah gives her a sharp look, Mabel let out a sigh and kicked at the floor “Got it.” she nods. Mabel leaves dejected that Alvah wasn’t going to do anything about this but she was determined to help her confess her feelings to Stan, yes, with a newfound determination, she was going to play cupid once more. Alvah stood in the room with Ford staring at her with an incredulous expression, she turns her attention to him with narrowed eyes. 

“You don’t get to speak. You had a relationship with a triangle.” she holds her hand up to keep him away when his face turned red from embarrassment “Oh, my muse~ I would do anything for you, even if it means the collapse of my mind, body and soul! Ooo, woe is me!” 

“Stop talking!” 

“So poetic, Fordsy!” 

season 2, episode 13. dungeons, dungeons and more dungeons 

after the fiasco that was the reveal of alvah’s true feelings, she had now taken it to the point of avoiding everyone and keeping herself in the basement unless she’s needed.  

that being said, mabel would come bursting into the lab and attempt to drag her upstairs so she could interact with them all, especially with stan. 

she swore never to talk about what happened, but she never said she wouldn’t do anything about it.  

dipper was really confused as to why mabel was more love crazy than usual. 

he felt sorry for the poor sucker his sister had her sights on this time. 

ford found it amusing seeing her act like a deer caught in headlights whenever she spotted stan before he saw her. 

it went so far as to her jumping out a window. 

she fixed it immediately. 

anyways- 

“Alvah... Alvah...!” Dipper shook the empty body that was Alvah until it stirred to life, her eyes blinked to life and looked around before settling on him in confusion. Ford explained to them that her body in this dimension was merely a vessel for her to take control of so whenever she was “sleeping”, it was actually her signing off and returning to her main body. Dipper calling for Alvah warranted her attention and caused her to come back to see what the young boy wanted, she didn’t expect to see him staring at her with a pleading but enthusiastic expression as he held a book in front of her “Alvah? Yes! Um, hey! Do you want to play Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons with me and great uncle Ford? He’s already agreed to play with me and two players is enough but three players would be even better! But you don’t have to play with us, I’m sure you’ve got even more important matters to attend to that I probably pulled you out of. You can totally say no! It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Ah haha, heee...” she stared at him with a rather scrutinizing gaze as she looked between him, the book and Ford standing behind him. 

... 

... 

She now found herself laying on her side with a thirty-eight-sided die in her hand, shaking it within the palm of her hand before tossing it onto the play mat where the other two nerds leaned down close to see what she rolled, she chuckled softly when Dipper cheered that she rolled a high roll while Ford sighed bitterly. Whether it be the fact that within this flesh bag she had grown soft or it was just the children having a way with her, she couldn’t deny Dipper’s plea to play his favorite role-playing game with him and Ford. She was well aware of the concept of Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons after watching Ford and Fiddleford play it during their time building the portal and how it was similar to a different game, but she allowed him to explain it to her in great detail while giving her an already made character for her to play with. 

“Are you sure you’re not cheating, Alvah?” she scoffed, twisting her body so that she was laying on her back with her legs crossed, bouncing her knee every now and then. 

“Maybe you just suck at this game, Ford.” she smirked when she got a snicker out of Dipper, Ford hmphed at her while she stuck her tongue out at him. Dipper was having even more fun because instead of having figurines representing their characters, Alvah was using her powers to bring them to life while also creating a real layout of the story Ford created for their characters to move around. Both Alvah and Ford were magic casters, though Alvah was a sorcerer and he was wizard, while Dipper was a little ranger. Quite the odd party, but Alvah refused to be anything else “What are we up to now?” he hummed softly as he rolled a die between his fingers. 

“Alright, you enter the chamber. Princess Unattainabelle beckons you. But wait, it’s a trap!” she rolled her eyes as Dipper gasps “An illusion cast by Probabilitor the Annoying.” Dipper hands Alvah a couple die for her to roll as he and Ford shake their fists to scramble their own die within their closed fists. 

“You know his weakness, right?” Ford grins at Dipper. 

“Prime statistical anomalies over thirty-seven but not exceeding fifty-one.” the two throw their rolls down first, Dipper taps her shoulder and she throws down her die and allows them to tally up the amount “Yes! Ungh! In your face, cardboard wizard!” the older man hummed softly as he picked up the little cardboard screen meant for the DM to look at the main antagonist. 

“Hmm, the old boy looks a bit different than he did back in my day.” Dipper nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah, they change the art every few years. Thankfully, you missed the period when the creators of the game tried to make it cooler.” this got a chuckle out of Alvah, he shuddered at the memory “Must’ve been dark times, those 90’s.” he spoke as he picked up a red card, even Ford grimaced. 

“Yeesh. Sounds like a good time to be stuck between dimensions.” 

“Great uncle Ford, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Where were you before you came out of that machine, and what have you and Alvah been doing down here? Are you two working on something behind that curtain?” this question caused the two of them to look at each other, she shrugged her shoulders and gestured for him to speak. 

“Dipper, it’s best if you and the family stay away from that subject. Honestly, I’m not sure any of you could handle the real answer.” 

“But-- But I can handle it.” Ford raised his finger to cut him off. 

“Ah-ah. But I can show you a little something I brought back with me.” they watch as he pulled out a little red bag from his pocket and empty the contents out beside him, a few more die spilled out from it but a peculiar black box caught their attention, her eyes widened when he opened it. 

“Is that... an infinity sided die?” she asked, Dipper looked at it in awe as Ford nodded his head as the young boy watched the symbols continuously change. 

“That’s so cool... and impossible.” Ford opened his mouth to explain but let out a soft gasp when the die flew out of the case and into the hands of Alvah, who held it close to her eye while turning it over. 

“I haven’t seen one of these suckers since the last galaxy was formed. I’m pretty sure these things are outlawed in over nine thousand dimensions.” Dipper gasped at that. 

“Why?” 

“Well, take a look at the symbols. Infinite sides mean infinite outcomes. If you rolled it, anything could happen. Your faces could melt into jelly. The world could turn into an egg... or you could just roll an eight. Who knows?” she huffed when Ford snatched it out of her hand and placed it back into the case, closing it before she could take it again. 

“And that's why I have to keep it in this protective cheap plastic case.” she scoffed with a laugh. 

“How safe.” he ignored her. 

“Now, back to the game!” Dipper had a splendid time playing DDMD with Ford and Alvah, she may not have been engaged like they were but at least she put in the effort to play with them and with her powers making it all come to life just felt magical to him. 

“I had so much fun! Thank you so much great uncle Ford, Alvah!” she twiddled her fingers from behind Ford. 

“Perhaps you could make the next one, sweetheart. I just know you’re full of ideas, Dipper.” he lights up. 

“Does that mean you’ll play again?” she gave shrug but nodded her head. 

“Yeah, sure.” she huffed softly when he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her close, she leaned down to hug him back while patting his back “Perhaps you should go back upstairs. You’ve been down here all day, and surely it takes a lot of time to create a new adventure.” he pulls away from her, snapping his fingers at her. 

“You’re right! I’ve got a lot of thinking to do! Thanks again!” they both wave him goodbye as he ran to the elevator to head back to the shack, the both of them drop their friendly facades and turn back to where the curtain Dipper previously mentioned was. 

“So, you’re really going to keep this between us?” he spoke, his body naturally turning back into his male form “He’s going to figure it out, whether he stumbles down here accidentally again or you tell him yourself.” Ford let out a sigh as he looked over the console, tapping his fingers across the metal surface. 

“Stanley told me to stay away from the children, but so far, it’s been proven difficult because they keep approaching me. Or rather, they keep approaching me since you’re around.” he shrugged.  

“I’ve been looking after those kids the entire summer. I’m surprised they still even want to hang around me.” he said as he laced his fingers and cracked his knuckles above his head ”Anyways, where were we before Dipper interrupted us?” he approached the side of him with a sort of glass case in his hands. 

“Cleaning up my brother’s mess.” 

“Ah, right.” he entered the portal room and it took Ford a second to register what he said. 

“Hey, wait! What do you mean we? You were in the Nightmare Realm, dammit!”  

that entire week mabel and stan were preparing for the duck-tective finale and the day had finally arrived. 

mabel invited grenda to come over and watch it with them, she was more than happy to attend. 

stan, mabel and grenda enter the living room and were shocked to see ford and dipper had taken over the room, it being littered with papers of various equations from their ddmd campaign. 

they were even surprised to see alvah laying behind ford covered in papers herself. 

she was "asleep" after failing a saving throw and her character was killed off so she returned to the nightmare realm to take care of some business as she waited for them to finish but continued to use her powers to bring their game to life.  

they pleaded with them to move their game to a different room so they could watch their show but they were very adamant that they couldn't, saying they were going for a world record. 

stan takes it upon himself to remove a few of the graph papers but ford caught him by the wrist, halting him in his tracks. 

"Move that and pay the price." Ford threatened, his grip on his brother tight to prevent him from reaching any further. 

"Oh, what, fifty magical dwarf dollars?" 

"Don't mock our fantastical monetary system!" 

"I'll mock all I want. It's my TV room." 

"It's my house! You..." Ford takes a breath, sighing to himself as he squeezes the bridge of his nose "Listen, Stanley, did it ever occur to you that if you joined us, you might actually have fun? I mean, Alvah didn't need to but joined for Dipper's sake. I'm sure they'd love it if you played with us as well." Stan's gaze hardened at the mention of her. 

"What? Now you listen to me. As long as I live, I will never--" he snatches the bag of Ford's dice out of his hands, ignoring Dipper shouting at him to wait "Ever. Play your smarty-pants nerd game!" he declares before throwing it to the ground, spilling all the dice out onto the floor including the case that secured the infinity-sided die. Ford and Dipper watch in a panic as the case opens and the die bounces out and lands on a wizard symbol, the dice sparked onto the cover of the DDMD box and they all watch as the characters from the game come to life. 

"Mortals of Dimension 46'\, kneel before me and..." he rolls a couple die and throws them onto the board, leaning down to get a look at what he rolled before grinning menacingly at them "snivel! I am Probabilitor, the greatest wizard in all mathology, give or take an error of 0.4." 

"Uh, is this normal?" Stan questions as they all back away, Mabel and Grenda grabbing Alvah to pull her unconscious body away. 

"Have you come to send us on the quest of a lifetime, because we're the smartest players you've ever met?" 

"You are the smartest players I've ever met. That's why I'm going to eat your brains to gain your intelligence. Especially that one lying there. It's what I do." 

"It's his thing." 

"What?!" Dipper turns and grabs Alvah by her collar, shaking her body back and forth "Alvah! Come back! Come back right now! The game came to life and they're going to eat our brains!" Ford throws his coat back to reveal the gun strapped to his waist, he pulls it out and spins it around his finger before aiming it towards Probabilator. 

"Your math is no match for my gun, you idiot!" 

“Math ray!” Ford grits his teeth when he feels a blast of wind blows past him after shielding his eyes from the bright light that came from the man before him, he thought he was going to be thrown out of the room but was surprised to see a sort of red force field shield them all from the attack. A groan came from behind him so he looked back and saw it was Alvah slowly pulling herself up from the floor while her hand was shining a soft hue of red, Dipper let out a sigh of relief that he managed to get through to her and her body instinctively put up a shield to keep them out of harm's way. 

“I wasn’t even gone for that long, and you guys managed to get yourselves into trouble?” she’s on her feet now ripping off the graph papers they so rudely stuck on her when her body was unoccupied, it was when she took off the one stuck to her face was when she paused and stared at Probabilator when she turned around and started to leave “Good luck, you guys.” they stare at her in shock. As she passes Stan, he caught her by the arm to stop her in her tracks, and though the situation is dire, Mabel doesn’t miss the way Alvah flinches when he turns her around. 

“What do you mean good luck? Didn’t you say you’d keep us out of danger?!” she gave a shrug, face turning a soft pink under his gaze. 

“I did, but didn’t I also tell you I can’t directly interfere with events in time? This so happens to be one of them.” she then points behind her with her thumb “I’ll just be in the background. I’ll make sure you guys don’t die under my watch; I promise.” 

“What?!” 

“You guys are going to have so much fun! Family bonding, yaddy yaddy yah! The whole shebang. I can’t just obliterate him out of existence, that’d be cheating.” she takes her arm back and goes to walk off again but this time Probabilator causes her to freeze. 

“Obliterate? Hah! With that mediocre display of magic? I have a hard time believing that!” Stan watched how her face twitched and how she fought down what he believes was anger and irritation. 

“Mediocre...? Me? My magic is mediocre? Me!” she startled them when she suddenly grabbed Stan and shook him while glaring at him, and while it wasn’t directed at him it still scared him to see the angry side of Alvah “If you think you can get away with calling me mediocre, you’ve got another thing com—no, no.” she let Stan go and approached Probabilator with the intentions of strangling him but managed to rein herself in before she could lay hands on him “No, no, no. You can’t do anything, Alvah. Calm yourself. Be the bigger person and let it go. Yes, that is what you’re supposed to do.” she nods her head and starts walking away. 

“Is she oka--” Dipper cut himself off when she came rushing back in. 

“No, I’m not.” they were taken aback when she punched him square in the face that she probably broke his nose, he fell to the ground with a cry but he also threw his staff in the air, and she caught it and stared at the die at the end of it before turning her gaze down at Probabilator “Here’s a lesson on magic. Though it varies depending on which dimension you’re in, they all circulate around the same thing. Magic is recognized as the use of mana to create phenomena, outside the limits of normal science. The usage of magic has varying degrees, with only the skill, personal power-level, imagination/knowledge, and/or morality to define the borders of the magician's limits.” as she explained, they watched as she started drawing a magic circle in the air that glowed an ominous red “Magic is all about bringing something that didn’t exist into reality, and that is the beauty of magic.” after completing the magic circle she tapped on it and they watched as it glowed so bright before blasting a pillar of fire at their foes, burning them to a cinder. 

“Well...” Dipper spoke, she then started to laugh as she kicked at the box art of Probabilator. 

“Hah! How was that for mediocre, huh? Try using your mathology in the afterlife!” she leans to the side when she notices that she accidentally overdid it with the magic and destroyed the kitchen and left burn marks everywhere “... I’ll fix that.” now they’re outside the shack while Alvah was floating around and fixing it up after what happened during the portal's reactivation, she didn’t have time to fix it earlier but after the mess, she made she finally made time to do it. 

“Mabel, is Miss Alvah a witch?” Grenda asked as she watched Alvah float off the ground after taking a tree that had lodged itself into the roof and replanted it back into the ground, they all kind of forgot that Alvah being a supernatural, interdimensional demonic being was a secret. 

“Well, Grenda, actually--” 

“That’s so awesome! Do you think if I asked, she would teach me how to use magic as well? I wanna be a witch!” they hear a laugh and see that it is Alvah slowly descending from above but continuing to float as she holds the staff over her shoulder. 

“That would be quite difficult, little Grenda. In this dimension, you humans don’t particularly have mana or any other sort of energy that allows you to wield magic. But you do have science, which happens to be the more limited but modernized version of magic.” she chuckled softly when Grenda huffed, kicking at the grass while crossing her arms. 

“That’s not fair!” she pats her head. 

“Life’s not fair, kiddo. Perhaps you should go punch someone, it always brings a smile to my face.” 

“You’re right!” with that Grenda runs off to go punch the nearest person, she chuckled at the young girl before throwing her arms towards the newly fixed Mystery Shack. 

“And there you have it! Good as new!” they all hear a creek so they look up and see the iconic S from the Shack slowly slip off and fall to the ground, she let out a breath as she dropped her arms “I’m not even going to bother.” she looks down when she saw Dipper approach so she lowered herself to the ground and sat herself down on her knees. 

“Thanks for helping us, Alvah.” she smiled softly and gently patted his head “You’re not going to get in trouble, are you? You said that was an event that you weren’t supposed to interfere with.” this caused her to let out a huff. 

“I really wasn’t supposed to do what I just did. I was technically supposed to allow him to kidnap you and Ford, and take you guys into the forest while Mabel and Stan came to your rescue. It was to help your guy’s development and relationship; you guys are trapped within the game and they were going to play it to save you.” this caught them by surprise “Since I’ve already interfered, I don’t think I’ll get in trouble for telling you what was supposed to happen. It was my first offense; I’ll probably be let go with just a warning. So, if you guys see the time police, tell them you never saw me. I don’t want to deal with that stupid Time Baby.” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you mean to tell me that we actually played that nerd game? For real?” she nods. 

“Yes, you played that “nerd game” to save your brothers, and you actually had fun doing so, and won against his smarts with your dumb luck. If you remove the mathematical and hard-thinking concepts out of DDMD, you will greatly enjoy the game. You put aside your distaste for the game to save both Ford and Dipper, which helped with your guy's relationship, and you guys realize that your bit— I mean, bickering isn’t going to do you any good, blah, blah, blah.” she thanked Dipper when he helped her up while she tossed the staff behind her “So, I’m sorry that I let my ego get the best of me and ruined your adventure. This is why I don’t really get in the way of these things, because it takes the fun and development you guys were supposed to have, out of it.” she hummed softly when Mabel approached her, taking her hand and tugging her forward. 

“And we greatly appreciate your help, Alvah. Is what why you’ve been staying out of things as of lately?” she nodded her head. 

“Uh-huh. You should spend as much time with each other as you possibly can because you don’t know when it’s going to be your last.” Mabel pouted at that, Alvah didn’t realize where the little girl was leading her until it was too late, because the next thing she knew was Mabel grabbing Stan and pulling the two of them together and they fell into each other. 

“Then will you watch the season finale of Duck-tective with us? It wouldn’t be the same without you, and since you played with Dipper and Grunkle Ford, then you’ve just gotta watch it with us!” she swallowed thickly as she slowly looked up at Stan, her face slowly losing its composure with how close they were as she started sputtering out any sort of excuse to decline “Come on, pretty please~ won’t you do it for me?” looking back down at her she saw her infamous puppy dog eyes with her trembling lips, she let out a sigh. 

“Alright, fine.” both she and Stan take a knee when they were yanked down so Mabel could hug them both, they plant a hand onto the ground to stabilize themselves while wrapping another arm around the young girl. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she hugged them a little longer before letting them go and jogging over to Dipper to urge him to join them, Ford was planning on declining the invitation but looked over towards his brother and demon and saw the way the two of them acted like awkward teenagers. It was honestly quite amusing, two people who are known for being outspoken and confident were reduced to nothing but silence, and from what he learned through her memories the two of them were known for flirting with each other and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. She wrapped an arm around herself while her free hand rubbed her face, Stan himself hand one of his hands caressing the back of his neck while the other planted itself on his hip. 

“So...” they startle each other when they spoke at the same time while turning to look at each other, they immediately turn away when their faces were inches apart, she starts playing with her hair as she took a breath while Stan took his hat off “How have you been?” she perked up when he spoke to her, looking up at him, he was dusting his hat off before placing it back on top of his head. 

“Well. Could I assume the same for yourself?” he gave a shrug. 

“Eh, I’ve been better.” she nodded softly, and her mind went back to the conversation she, Ford, and Mabel had in the lab and that feeling of guilt started pooling up in her stomach again, she’s grabbed a fistful of the skirt of her dress and was playing with the bundle rather nervously. 

“Stanley, I... I’m--” he looks down at her, curious as to what she had to say, she looks up at him and he saw this look in her eyes when they locked eyes, she looked like she was going to say something before her body slumped and she instead reached up to fix his fez that was slipping from his head “I’m happy you are faring well.” her hand slips down to his face where it briefly rests upon his cheek before she pulls it away, she holds her hand close to her chest as she walks towards the shack to follow Ford inside where she misses Stan reaching up to place his own hand on the cheek she last touched. 

“Alvah.” upon joining them in watching Duck-tective, she sat on the ground beside Grenda while Stan, Dipper, and Mabel all squeezed onto the small sofa. She found the plot to be a little amusing, that the season finale revealed how the duck protagonist had a secret twin brother, which almost reminded her of someone. She felt a little nudge so she looked up and saw Mabel wiggling her eyebrows at her, she rolled her own eyes and shook her head before looking back at the TV. 

season 2, episode 14. the stanchurian candidate 

alvah is, of course, with stanford when dipper comes down to complain about stan stubbornly refusing to listen to him and mabel about running for mayor. 

while he ranted on and on about the fact, ford looks at alvah to see whether or not his brother actually wins the election. 

she gave a shrug while making a “sort of” gesture. 

she watched in amusement when ford pulled out a necktie that had the capabilities to control the wearer. 

“use it responsibly” he said, like hell they would. 

when it was the day of the election, ford couldn’t seem to find alvah until he looked upstairs and found her watching the election. 

he saw the way she was giggling softly to herself as she watched stan, a soft hue dusted across her cheeks. 

not in love, she says. 

ford ridicules her but he was swiftly punched in the face. 

season 2, episode 15. the last mabelcorn 

Alvah wasn't allowed to join Mabel on her quest for the unicorns because Ford said that "a being as rotten as her would scare them off", or whatever that means. She thinks he's just a sucker that believed that whole pure of heart sham all those years ago, she already knew that was a farce from long ago but thought it was too funny to reveal. She could easily get past those stupid unicorns and either a. take their hair by force or b. compliment their hair and ask for tips, that usually works. Ford told her that he wanted to spend some time alone with Dipper, having already revealed what they were doing in his lab all those nights ago, and Dipper practically pleaded with her to allow him to spend time with his idol. 

So here she was, sitting outside the shack with nothing to do. She watched aimlessly as the little critters that roamed the forest would peek out and approach her curiously before wandering back into the forest where she would reward their curiosity with little peanuts left out by Soos, she had a walnut in her hand so she swiftly crushed it within her palm before outstretching her hand to a squirrel that padded up to her. She watched as it sniffed her hand curiously before eating right out of her palm, it would be so easy to close her hand around its neck and tighten her hold around it. She could do it slowly and watch it struggle within her grasp, clawing at her hand to escape despite knowing its attempts would be futile. Or perhaps she could just crush it like she did with that walnut, how she would feel its neck snap in an instant; quick and painless. She let out an oh when it suddenly scampered away, she flicked the reminisce of the walnut onto the grass and relaxed back on the steps. 

"... I know you're there, Stanley." she hummed softly when she heard a crash from behind her, she waited a couple seconds before the door opened, and out came Stan dusting himself off while clearing his throat "Come to have a chat with me, Stan?" she pats the free space beside her and waits to see whether or not he'd take her up on the offer, he grumbles to himself but plops himself beside her. 

"Why aren't you with brainiac one and two or Mabel? You're usually hanging off his shoulder or keeping Mabel out of trouble." she merely shrugged her shoulders as she plucked another peanut from the bowl and tossed it toward another squirrel. 

"Fordsy wanted to spend some time with Dipper alone to devise a plan against Bill, and Mabel will be just fine. And you didn't hear this from me, but she's gonna punch a unicorn in the nose. It's rather glorious." she giggles softly to herself at what the future has for Mabel, sure her love for unicorns vanishes because they're nothing but a sham, but it sure was a spectacle to witness. 

"What? She punches a unicorn?" this got a laugh out of Stan "Almost tempted to follow them just to watch."  

"She might need comfort when she returns. Because of their little "purest of heart" scheme, they make her a little insecure about how good of a person she is. She might need some reassurance when she gets back, but those other girls keep her from falling too deep." they sit in silence and Stan watches her closely, he stares at her face specifically. Ever since it was revealed that she wasn't all that she seemed to be, whether she was a man or not, she wore a rather cocky grin on her face and carried a haughty attitude, she was just unrecognizable to him. But right now, under the grace of the sun and a calming summer breeze, he was blessed with the Alvah he had grown rather attached to... like he'd ever admit that part out loud, god he hoped she couldn't read minds (she can, in fact, read minds). 

"You're staring." he jumped at her voice, fidgeting from where he sat when her eyes trailed away from the wilderness that surrounded them and onto him, he swallowed thickly and stared deep into those soft, rich green eyes of hers. He was the most socially aware between himself and Stanford and took pride in himself with how well he could read people, he thought he read Alvah well, but there was just something lacking within her eyes "What's on your mind?" 

"Pointdexter refers to you as a devil, so are you like Bill?" 

"By that, are you asking if he and I are the same species?" he gave a kind of gesture. 

"Do you have a shape form like he does?" this question causes her to burst out into a fit of laughter. 

"I'm not a Euclydian, Stan. Their species have been long wiped out like their dimension, no thanks to Bill." she paused when she saw the confused look on his face "They are, er, were a two dimensional species that were only shapes like squares and circles." 

"And triangles?" she nods. 

"Uh-huh. They were incapable of seeing the third dimension, but Bill, he was different. But due to that, he accidentally destroyed Euclydia. He'd say otherwise, but we beings know what happened that day." 

"So you're saying that you were there?" she shrugs. 

"More or less. You're technically not supposed to know this, not even Ford knows this, but I could care less. Bill tells an entirely different story, saying he did it for power, but he only says that because he doesn't want to confront the fact that he erased his species off the face of this universe. He refuses to see that it was his fault." 

"Whoa." she nods, he looks at the ground as he thinks of another question to ask "But you do have many forms, right? This and the one you use for Ford aren't the only ones, are they?" she shakes her head. 

"No, they aren't." Stan then watches as she changes shape into a variety of different people, or rather, species "I have contracts with many people for trillions of years and taken the form of different species. I don't really have a proper identity to call me own." she spoke in different voices and even languages as she changed from a monster with tentacles for a face and even a tall newt with a purple skin tone before finally changing back to Alvah. 

"That sounds sad." 

"It really isn't. The contracts were easy to fulfill and I didn't have to stay in a body for too long. This one, however, is the longest it has existed." she said as she raised her arms to look at her hands "Without me even realizing, it started developing..." he raised a brow as he looked at her hands then back up at her. 

"A consciousness?" she chuckled softly. 

"Feelings." he blinked at her words "Every body I made moved like a machine with simple instruction. Listen to the contractor, fulfill the contractor's wishes, and complete the contract. Simple." 

"But?" she finally looked away from her hands and stared at him, long and hard. 

"I would leave these bodies and return to my own so I wouldn't get... attached. But, I was stuck in this one for so long it-- or I, started to feel. That is impossible, I'm not supposed to feel anything." the longer he stared into her eyes the more he started to see something that once wasn't there "And yet here I am beginning to enjoy the company of a small human family to the point I would do anything to secure their safety; to the point that I don't want you... to hate me." his eyes widened at her words. 

"Alvah." she turns away and wraps her arms tightly around her torso 

"Stanley, I am... sorry, for how I've treated you these past couple of weeks. I'm sorry I've been distant, I'm sorry I've avoided you. It’s just... so hard for me to come to terms with these feelings that are so foreign to me. These feelings are something I can’t control, and no matter how hard I’ve been denying them... they just keep coming back.” he sees how her arms tightened as she spoke “I don’t know if it’s this body or my feelings. I’m supposed to know everything, I’ve seen countless possibilities, millions upon trillions of endings but not one... not one where I--” he blinks when she abruptly cuts herself off. 

“Where you what?” the suspense was killing him, he tilts his head to try and get a look at her face but instead he saw a faint hue on the tips of her ears when she spoke so softly it would’ve been lost to the wind. 

“Where I...” he couldn't quite catch what she said but he saw the way her body suddenly froze, as if the sudden realization of her feelings finally caught up with her. He was startled when she quickly shot up to her feet and turned around, speedwalking to get inside the shack and possibly hide from him “I-I—I need to go! It was swell talking with you again, Stanley! Talk to you later!” she tries to get away but Stan was fast enough to stand to his feet and catch her wrist before she could get too far. 

“No, no! You can’t just stop there! You can’t just leave me hanging there, Alvah!” each time he felt her try to get away he would tug her back, he knew that she was much stronger than him, he knew that she could throw him off but this was a rare moment of Alvah being vulnerable with him so he wasn’t going to lose her when he was so close “You don’t get to spill that all on me and expect me to just sit there! I still... I still care about you! I still think about what we had, about what we did and said to each other and I hoped it wasn’t something you did out of obligation. That what we had meant something to you, the real you! That you actually... care for me. That finally someone chose me, and that since you knew it was me from the very beginning, you actually wanted me.” she stopped fighting him but she didn’t turn to look at him, his grip on her tightened as his face hardened “Won’t you say something, Alvah?!” he tugs at her and forced her to turn around and there... there he saw a sight that will forever be engraved in the back of his mind. The color red had practically covered her entire face as she tried her best to shield it with her forearm but failed, she was looking everywhere but at him and she looked so flustered; so, embarrassed that she looked so adorable in his eyes that it made him forget that the person in front of him was the embodiment of chaos and evil.  

“I... I do care about you, Stanley. I care when I-I shouldn’t be able too.” she moves her arm so her hand could cover the lower half of her face as she looked away “I’ve seen those kids die—I've seen you die so many times. To the monsters that roamed the forest... or by your own hands, and it scares me so much. Is this how you humans feel when you care about something so much that you feel like you’re dying? I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I were to lose you...” his hand slowly reaches for her other wrist and pulls it down so he could look at her clearly, the one that caught her slid up her arm and rested on her cheek where she finally looked at him and he saw so many different emotions swirling in those beautiful eyes of hers. 

Fear, anguish, regret, confusion. 

“Humans are more... complex than machines. We feel things that can spiral out of control if left alone.” his thumb started stroking her cheek in a form of comfort and she melted at the affection, her eyes fluttering close as she leaned into his touch “If what you say is true, then running from it will make you hurt more.” her eyes opened again and he couldn’t tell if the glisten in her eyes were tears or something else. 

“You make my nonexistent heart beat. I... I...” he saw the way that word was stuck in her throat, how she struggled to say it as she hid her face in the palm of his hand. Instead, she blinked when she felt his other hand cup her cheek and slowly turn her towards him once more, the two of them stare at each other until he started leaning in. A weak gasp left her when he pressed his lips against her, unlike the other kisses they’ve shared, this one was so short and faint she’d compare it to a peck. He pulled away and she saw his cheeks were tinted the faintest shade of pink but her face turned even more red, however, it didn’t stop her from wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a much needed kiss. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her waist to pull her close and reciprocate the kiss, they’d pull away briefly to allow him to breath but they’d pull each other right back in for more. Her hands removed themselves from his neck to cradle his face within her hands while his own roamed her body, he manages to catch them when they fall back into the door behind her with his hand slamming against the door frame, when they break away, they rest their foreheads against each other with his hands caressing his face affectionately “Stanford’s gonna kill me.” Stan snorted softly at what she said. 

“Why do you say that?” they move from the door to take a seat on the yellow sofa, all the tension from earlier gone as she cuddled up to Stan’s side, his arm wrapped around her side to keep her close. 

“He has come to realize my infatuation with you and threatens me about getting close. Says he doesn’t want a repeat in history, but I’m insulted that he compares me to Bill and you to him. If I’m being honest, you are much smarter than your brother.” 

“Hah! You’re just saying that because you like me.” she shakes her head, lacing her fingers with his and giving his hand a squeeze. 

“No, I am being very honest. You are much smarter than people give you credit for, Stan. I have watched you ever since you stepped for in Gravity Falls and your actions leading up to your brother’s return have been remarkable. If anything, your brother has much to learn from you. Be proud of your actions.” she quirked a brow when she felt his grip on her hand tighten a little as his body trembled, looking up, she giggled quietly to herself when she saw him covering his eyes with his hand “Stan, are you crying?” he looked away from her. 

“No! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” she hummed and reached to grab at his wrist and pull it away from his face, she gave him a soft expression as she cupped his cheek and wiped away his tears. 

“I told you this before, Stan, you don’t have to hide your vulnerability from me, I’m not going to make fun of you.” with that she kissed his tears away and nuzzled her cheek against his, he laughed softly and returned the gesture to know that it was appreciated “I still don’t fully understand what these feelings are or how I should confront them, but I do know you are something dear to me, as well as those children, and Wendy, and Soos and even Stanford. I’ll do anything to keep you safe, but there are just some things I just can’t prevent from happening in order to do so.” he hummed softly at that. 

“So, there is more to come?” 

“More than you could think.” he let out a grunt when she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face within the crook of his neck, hugging him tightly “So when that day comes, please know that I am so sorry that I had to let it happen.” he opens his mouth to reassure her that he’d forgive her, that it couldn’t possibly be as bad as she’s making it out to be, but seeing how she tightened her grip on him made him think otherwise. 

“Whatever you say, toots.” they decide to go back into the shack in fear that Mabel and her friends would reappear and catch them doing something they definitely didn’t want them to see. Alvah hadn’t realized just how much she missed spending her time with Stan, whether it doing something productive or just simply lazing around doing absolutely nothing but basking in each other’s company. She found herself craving more of Stan then she ever realized, she wanted him to smile at her more, she wanted to be the reason of his laughter, she wanted to be the center of his universe, but she knew deep down that she could never replace the love he had for his family. So, even if she had to be fed breadcrumbs in order to stay in his mind, she wouldn’t mind. 

“Did somebody say unicorn hair?!” both herself and Stan jump at the sound of Mabel’s voice, has it been that long already? She hadn’t even realized how long she and Stan spent together to the point that Mabel had returned from retrieving the unicorn hair, she guessed Dipper now knows that the muse she was talking about long ago was now in fact Bill Cipher and that she and that triangular freak have got ongoing beef. They both leave the room they occupied and make their way to where everyone was huddled in, however, the moment Stan’s eyes caught the glistening shine of gold he was quick to leave her side. 

“MONEY!!” she sweat dropped when he grabbed an armful before breaking down the backdoor as he fled, she sighed but clapped her hands when she entered the room. 

“Well done, Mabel, I knew you could do it.” taking in their disheveled attire, she snickered softly when she saw the unicorn tears and blood that covered the girls followed by scratches and bruises “You did a good job, kiddo. I’m real proud of you.” she praised as she knelt down and gently ruffled her head, she pulled her hand away and saw the way her eyes glistened with tears. 

“Thanks, Alvah, I really needed that.” she winked. 

“Don’t worry about it. Those unicorns don’t know a thing about you, but I know for sure that you’re the greatest little girl there could ever be.” she soft gasp left her when Mabel threw herself into Alvah’s arms, her eyes widened a little at the action as she slowly lifted her arms to wrap around Mabel and embrace her. Her mind went back to what she said to Stan and she immediately felt the guilt pool in her stomach, but she ignored it to nuzzle her cheek against the side of Mabel’s head. 

when stan came back, he and alvah spent a few more quiet hours to catch up on lost time. 

she made sure that mabel was busy with her friends so the young girl wouldn’t catch them doing anything. 

it was when things were getting more intimate when she was suddenly ripped from his grasp and a crash followed close behind.

opening his eyes, he was met with a hole in the wall as well as a loud thud. 

that was due to the fact when dipper and ford put up the protective barrier to bill-proof the shack, ford made a few miscalculations and demon-proofed the house. 

so when the barrier went up she was repealed out of the shack, to which she was on the top floor and fell from a great height.  

dipper was immediately apologetic and ford chuckled when she glared at him to fix it, well, that was until stan popped his head out from where she was thrown out. 

the next hour is spent with her running away from blasts from his gun while stan, dipper and mabel try and stop him. 

season 2, episode 16. roadside attraction  

“You really don’t want me anywhere near your brother, huh?” Alvah, who was in his male form, cooed from where he was floating over Ford, who was currently trying to figure out a way to fix the rift after it was damaged by Dipper when he learned the truth about Ford and Bill and shot him with the memory gun, only for the blast to ricochet off his head. After learning that Alvah and Stan settled the awkward tension they had and were acting flirtatious again, seeing them acting all lovey dovey and not getting enough of each other. He would try to ignore it but knowing what they were doing in just a room across from him had him storming in, no matter what they could be doing, and ripping her away from Stan to confine her in the lab “So overprotective, Fordsy~” he giggles to himself and twirls and strand of his long black hair around his index finger. 

“I do not want to know what kind of tomfoolery you and my brother get up to.” he huffed, crossing his arms. 

“Like you and Bill?” he snickered when he saw Ford stiffen, dropping the pen he had in his hand as he slowly turned red. Whether it be from embarrassment or anger, or perhaps both, he’ll never know. He scoffed when Ford whipped his head over to where he was floating and glared at him with such vigor, if looks could kill, he’d be dead where he stood—er, well, floated “Hit a nerve, did I?” he hummed softly when Ford grabbed him by the ankle to yank him down, making sure they were face to face as when he spoke. 

“How dare you bring that up, Alvah. You know exactly what Bill did to me.”  

“Then you should know better than to compare me to Bill, Stanford.” he opens his mouth to protest but was shushed when Alvah shook him off “I can hear your thoughts without needing to read them, and to say I’m insulted would be an understatement. My adoration for Stanley is completely different from the obsession Bill had for you.” 

“I-It wasn’t an obsession!” 

“I stalked you two for over a year, and he would not shut up about it either. I will go through those journals just to find those receipts; I will do it. I will give you the time and date for each instance, don’t tempt me.” they stare at each other for an intense few minutes until Ford breaks away with a disgruntled sigh, he watches as he returned to where he was before in silence before speaking “... I’m not going to hurt him, if that’s what you’re thinking. I already know what he’s been through. From his upbringing, the ten years he spent alone on the road to the thirty years of bringing you back. I don’t plan on damaging him even further, intentionally, that is.” 

“Intentionally?” Ford waited for an answer but was met with silence, he turned back to look at Alvah to question him but paused when he saw the distraught look on his face “Al--” 

“Let's just say, there’s just something I can’t prevent from happening.” Ford wants to question him on what that means but knows that if it has something to do with the timeline then Alvah will not tell him, despite being an all knowing and powerful being, there seems to be some rules that even he cannot and will not break. He goes to return to work but saw the way Alvah perked up like an internal alarm went off in his head, he raised a brow curiously. 

“Now what?” Alvah lifted his hand up and the shadows beneath him rose out of the ground. 

“Your brother seems to be in need of assistance.” Ford furrowed his brows in concern and got off his seat, standing beside Alvah as the shadows acted as a way to see what was happening. Ford always wondered what Alvah saw whenever she was, as he called it, the Shadow Realm, when they conversed. The image was distorted and hazy but clear enough for them to see what was going on on the other side, and there they saw Stan encased in webbing in some sort of cave. 

“Wasn’t he going on a road trip with the kids?” he nods. 

“He is, but it seems he ran into an arachnimorph. Quite nasty, if I say. If he’s lucky, he didn’t run into a female one.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“They’re more aggressive than the male arachnimorphs. You know, like normal spiders.” the image then shows a tan skinned woman with tan marks over her eyes in the shape of her sunglasses and on her shoulders where straps were present. She had sandy-blonde hair and a brown birth mark on her left shoulder, and though her torso was that of a normal human woman, her lower half was that of a spider “Him and his dumb luck.” 

“Are you going to help him?” he shakes his head. 

“As much as I want to, it’s one of those moments where I can’t.” he nods his head. 

“I see.” he goes to make the image disappear until that woman started getting closer to Stan. 

“You tricked me!” he shouted at her “I’m eighty-percent certain you don’t really love me at all!” this comment caused Alvah to furrow his brows, though he already knew the plot of this adventure, he still was a little jealous that Stan and this spider-woman went out on a date. 

“Ha! Men will fall for anything. You’re so funny. Great story. I love a man with shoulder hair.” 

“You... you didn’t mean it about my shoulder hair?” Ford and Alvah to roll their eyes. 

“Tell me, Stan, before I transformed, who’d you think was in charge? You, with your cheesy lines and fake confidence? I’m the master pick-up artist here. Sorry, toots. This time, you’re getting used for your body, which, to my species, is food. Allow me to slip into something more horrifying.” with that, the arachnimorph pulled its mouth open like that of a body suit and revealed its true form “I wonder what beverage pairs well with a vintage seventy-something-year-old man."  he grits his teeth as he glared at her from where he was hanging. 

“Why I oughta, when my partner gets here, you’ll be sorry!” this caused the arachnimorph to let out a laugh as she got close to him once more. 

“If you already had a partner, why’d you flirt with little ol’ me? Wouldn’t that break their heart if they learned of your infidelity?” he just let out a laugh. 

“Not really. I used my better lines on her and I’ve practically got her wrapped around me finger.” Ford looked up at Alvah and saw the irritated look on his face followed by the soft blush tinting his cheeks, he rolled his eyes knowing that what Stan had said wasn’t too far off from the truth “Besides, unlike her, I didn’t really like you all that much. Just trying to show off to my nephew how professionals work.” she let out a laugh at what he said. 

“Hah! Thanks to you, that boy will probably do more harm than good with your advice. It’d probably be better if he didn’t listen to you, because in the end, look where you ended up.” 

“Sure, but my partner surely won’t leave me hanging and come to my rescue!” the way he emphasized on the surely was meant for him to appear right that moment to save him, Darlene looked around for the appearance of such a partner but no one came “Come on, Alvah! I know you’re watching!” Darlene laughs once more as she got close to his face, he winced and leaned as far away as he possibly could while being confined to the webbing. 

“Sorry, sweetheart, but it looks like you’re all alo—ah!” Stan was startled when a fist appeared from beside his head and punched Darlene in the face, knocking her a few feet away from him, though he gradually calmed down when said fist uncurled and a hand glided across his jaw and caressed his cheek. 

“Hello, beloved. Can’t go a day without causing trouble, huh?” Stan smiled at the sight of Alvah appearing from out of his shadow, her arm around wrapped around his shoulder as she pulled herself close to him so she could rub her cheek against his “I, for one, like your shoulder hair.” he giggled bashfully to himself as he nuzzled his cheek into hers. 

“Aw~ I knew you would.” before she could say anything else she let out a grunt when she was shoved away from him by another figure, Stan was surprised to see Ford appear as well by grabbing Alvah by her face and pushing her away while pointing his gun towards the arachnimorph. 

“That’s enough of that.” she glared at him but scoffed as they both step out of the shadow “This isn’t a good idea, Alvah.” she shrugged as she stood in front of the twins to ensure she was the first target that Darlene woman would go for. 

“As long as I’m not the one to take her down, we should be fine. Now hurry up and free your brother, I’ll keep her back until the kids get here.” 

“Mister Pines!” she chuckled at the sound of Grenda’s voice echoing through the cave. 

“Speak of the devil.” the children came rushing in to save Stan but were greatly surprised at the sight of Alvah and Ford already in the process of saving him “Children, take your uncles and get out of here. I’ll hold her back while you get away.” 

“Miss Alvah! How are you here?” 

“Magic~” she quickly turned her attention back towards Darlene when she came charging at her, she caught the six-legged creature by her hands and dug the soles of her feet into the ground to keep her from pushing her back. She grimaced when the pincers on her face chittered as she leaned close, Alvah winced when she heard the sound of subtle cracking so she glanced over at her arms and saw tiny cracks forming around her elbows “Yeesh, have you ever thought of eating a couple breath mints? You smell as bad as that guy back there.” she said while motioning to Ford with her head. 

“Hey!” Stan snickered. 

“She’s got a point, Sixer.” she leans away again when Darlene let out a chuckle. 

“So, you must be the partner, huh? Did you know that your Stan over there whispered sweet nothings into my ear? He thinks he’s such a smooth talker with his cheap flattery and cheesy one liners.” Alvah rolled her eyes. 

“Well, they worked on me.” she looked away when Darlene gave her an incredulous look. 

“Wait, seriously?” she shrugged her shoulders. 

“What? I’m a sucker for flattery.” she let out a yelp of sorts when she was lifted off the ground then slammed back down into the ground, it didn’t hurt, but she grimaced when she heard more parts of her body start to crack “Hey, hey, now. Let’s be gentle, I’m a fragile little thing.” 

“You also look like a sweet little thing, I wonder what you taste like.” 

“Well, you’ve got to ask Stan if you want to answer to that question.” she winked but let out another grunt when she felt this overweight arachnid push her deeper into the dirty cave floor, she was getting dirt and cobwebs in her clothes and hair, what a pain “I beg, please get your ugly face away from mine. I don’t appreciate it.” Darlene laughs again as leans in close, her pincers wiggling inches away from Alvah’s face. 

“I won’t let any of you get away. You’ll make a perfect addition to my collection.” Alvah scoffed. 

“And I won’t let that happen.” the moment she heard them finally free Stan she hiked her legs up and kicked the overgrown spider off of her, she springs back up to her feet then held up her hand when she noticed them start to approach to help her “No, get out of here! I can’t handle her.” 

“But--” 

“I said go!” though reluctant, the group turn tail and ran out of the cave, leaving Alvah and Darlene alone together “If this were any other situation, I would finish you in an instance, but this ain’t. I’m just gonna give you a hard time.” she winks at the arachnimorph and uses two fingers to gesture for her to come. 

“I'll make you regret not running with the rest of them.” with the others, they were all high tailing it down the moment and towards the skyline, Candy looked back towards the cave entrance that got smaller and smaller as they ran further down the moment. 

“Was it right for us to leave Miss Alvah the way we did? I can’t help but worry for her.” Ford shook his head as he ushered the children to run ahead of him and his brother, occasionally looking back towards the cave in case the arachnimorph did manage to get past Alvah. 

“Oh, no. I believe she would be very cross with us if we didn’t leave. She can handle her own, I promise you that.” 

“Yeah, but you should have seen here when we had to fight against zombies. She looked hot as hell.” Dipper covers his ears at the words that were used, and though Mabel couldn’t help but agree, she did awe a little. 

“Ew.” 

“I don’t need to know that, Stanley.” 

“Zombies?” Candy and Grenda question, though neither got an answer when the sound of shouting came from behind them followed by loud crashes, they didn’t have time to turn around when flying over them was Darlene and Alvah tumbling down the mountain. Alvah was shouting as she punched Darlene in the face each time they were in the air and Darlene would retaliate when she was on top of her, Alvah would sometimes be able to catch her fist and punch her right back across the face but other times she would have to take the hit. Alvah couldn’t really feel pain each time a strike connected but she could feel her body crack more and more against the super strength the arachnimorph species possessed. They both crashed into a tree with Alvah landing on top of her, she continues to land blows on her but Darlene used her legs to kick her off her. She manages to catch herself and rushes towards Darlene and when her fist connects to her face, this time, her left hand all the way up to her forearm completely shatters. 

“Well.” 

“Alvah!” she looks back at the group and saw them stop when they notice her missing limb, she looks back down at her shattered hand then quickly looks back at them and waves them off. 

“I’m fine! Just hurry onto the sky tram! I’ll catch up!” Ford was quick to heed her demand and ushers them all into the tram, having to force Stan on before he could rush off to help her.  

“Hah! So, you’re not a human! Should have figured that one out, Stan seems to have a type.” Alvah shrugged then twirled a strand of her blonde hair. 

“Yeah, seems to me he’s into blondes. At least I was right on that mark, hmm?” Darlene laughs. 

“Well, since you’re down a limb, you won’t be that much of a threat!” with that she was quick to run off and chase after the fleeing group, Alvah scoffed and looks back down at the hole her shattered arm left. 

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Ford looks back and saw Darlene was leaping from tram to tram and gaining on them fast, no thanks to the stupid tram going at the speed of 0.1 miles per hour, however he perked up at the sight of Alvah not too far behind and instead of fixing her arm like she did when he blasted a hole in her face, the same black tar oozed out from the hole the damage did and became her new arm that grew larger with claws instead of hands. He also noticed that she ripped off her other arm so she could have two, so he saw her running along the cable while also using her new arms to swing herself towards them. When Darlene finally caught up to them and started encasing them in her webbing, Alvah swung herself up and kicked Darlene off and onto a different tram that was ahead of them “Is that all you got, freak?!” 

“Are you alright, Alvah?” she leaned back to see Ford peaking his head out of a window “You took quite the damage fighting that arachnimorph.” 

“That’s because this body isn’t meant for fighting, it’s only meant to look good. Besides, this vessel doesn’t seem to be able to contain the updated version of our contract.” she should have known when Ford allowed her more access to her power her body would become more brittle with how old it is “But I'm fine, nonetheless.” a soft gasp left her when a couple pieces of her face chipped off and fell, more black ooze leaking out of her face.  

“What was that, Alvah?”  

“I-It’s nothing!” Darlene lunges for Alvah once more but she swung herself around the cable holding up their tram and kicked Darlene back once more before lowering herself down to get a look at the group through the glass window “Candy!” the little girl jumped at the sound of Alvah’s voice, looking at the older woman, she gasped at the sight of her disheveled state. 

“M-Miss Alvah? Are you alright?” she waves her free hand, her claws digging into the roof of the tram to keep her from falling. 

“Don't worry about me, sweetheart. You’ve got this though, right?” Candy blinked at Alvah’s words, taken aback that she knew that Candy had a plan to deal with Darlene if she hadn’t showed up, so she smiles and nods her head while giving her a thumbs up. 

“Affirmative.” Alvah returns the gesture before hoisting herself back up, one of her arms wraps around the attachment that connects the carriage to the cables above them while the other is pressed against the roof just as Darlene jumps back. 

“Don’t think you can get rid of me that easily.” this earned her a chuckle “What’s so funny?” 

“Well, you don’t seem to realize you’ve walked into my web.” this caused Darlene to look down and noticed how the hand that was pressed against the roof allowed the black ooze to cover the surface and the moment her legs touched it they covered her legs completely to restrict her from moving “Hope you ain’t afraid of water!” she lets out a maniacal laugh when Candy pulled the emergency lever and the latch that connected the carriage to the cable above them released and they fell, they fell directly into the geyser “old reliable” that went off and shot them right back up into the air. They were sent flying down the mountain with Darlene taking the brunt force of crashing into everything while Alvah was running on top of the carriage as it continued to move, she made sure to release Darlene when they made it down and broke through the kiosk at the bottom of the mountain, right underneath the boot of the old statue that came down and crushed her. 

“My only weakness, a giant boot!” she cried out as she struggled to get out from underneath said boot “A giant newspaper or a giant cup would also have been pretty bad.” Stan and Ford managed to break down the carriage door where all occupants came tumbling out after rolling down the mountain. 

“Kid, that was ingenious! How’d you know it would work?” Stan raised as he pulled Candy into a side hug. 

“Useless travel pamphlets.” 

“Stanley.” they all flinch and look back towards Darlene, who transformed back into her human form “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. You’ll let me out, right?” she spoke while twirling a strand of her hair, batting her eyes to lure him in. 

“What? After all that? Seriously, do I look like an amnesiac?” he shouts as he approached her weakened form. 

“Haha, you’re so funny. Have you ever considered becoming a comedian?” before Stan could answer her, he was pulled back by Ford just as Alvah stood over her with the carriage held above her head. 

“Stan’s already got a supernatural being in his life and that isn’t you, sweetheart.” Alvah ignored her cries and dropped it on top of her, she makes sure her legs stopped twitching and goes to turn around until she caught her reflection in the glass “Well, that was irritating, she broke my face.” she murmured as she brought her hand up to caress her cheek that was missing a couple pieces. 

“Are you alright, Alvah?” she moved her eyes and saw Ford approaching her, she huffed and turned around. 

“I already said I was fine. And again, this body was not meant for fighting, only to look good.” she let out a grunt when he grabbed her by the face, pulling her close so he could examine the damage “And you say I’ve got issues with invading personal space.” she squeaked when he tightened his grip on her face, squeezing her cheeks and yanking her closer to glare into her eyes. 

“At least I don’t do it in every waking moment.” she just shrugged her shoulders, he threw her head back before grabbing at what was left of her arms to look at the ooze that replaced what was missing “Is this your blood?”  

“Close, it’s my “flesh”, more or less.” 

“Not that smoke?” 

“The smokey version of me you see is the power I simply use to invade your head, you know, like that sand man? This goop would be the more accurate term to what my body is made up of, dead flesh.” she pulled a face when he pulled out a vial and scooped some of it up, he dangles it in front of his face and shakes the glass bottle “Really?”  

“The more I learn about you, the better.” she rolled her eyes then paused when she heard someone clear their throat, peering past Ford, she saw that it was Stan sheepishly kicking his feet while rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Oh Stanley, are you okay?” she cooed softly while reaching for him only to recoil back when she remembered the state she was in, but she was taken aback when he reached forward and grabbed her clawed hand “I thought you wouldn’t want to touch these rather grotesque hands of mine.” he laughed. 

“I got acid spit in my face, your arms are the least of my worries.” she giggled softly and used her other hand to covered her face. 

“You sap.” Stan opens his mouth to add something else but felt something rest on his shoulder, he turned his head to see what exactly it was only to let out a startled shout at the sight of a severed hand laying on his shoulder. The others watch in shock when Stan let out a scream and threw the arm in the air but stopped when Alvah burst out into a fit of laughter, she raised her hand and caught the arm then waved it cheekily at them “Thanks for the “hand”. Haha, get it?” she continued to laugh as she let the ooze slither back into the hole it came out of then connected the severed arm in its place, she rolled her arm a couple times then grinned when the cracks fused together smoothly. 

“Fascinating, but wasn’t that the arm that shattered?” 

“It was, but as long as I can find the pieces, I can put myself back together. Like so.” Dipper shrieked when he saw another arm drag itself over to where Alvah was, she picks the arm up abd repeated the same process she did with the first arm “Ta dah, good as new.” she let out an oh when Mabel tugged on the end of her skirt, she kneels down and tilts her head in mild curiosity then blinked when Mabel placed a rainbow band aid over crack and hole on her face. 

“There, now you’re as good as new.” she caressed her cheek and smiled softly. 

“Thank you, Mabel.” she let out a yelp when she was pulled back by Ford, she huffed at the action. 

“Let us return, Alvah.” she rolled her eyes and stood to her feet, snapping her fingers to rid of all the cobwebs and grime that got on her after that distasteful squabble. He raised a brow as he watched her approach him and reach for his hand, she laces her fingers with his as best as she could and pulls him close until they were practically cheek to cheek “What are you--” she ignored him to look back at the group. 

“See you back at the Mystery Shack.” with that she fell backwards and pulled Ford with her, he wasn’t prepared for the sensation that was them falling into their shadows and it felt like they were submerged briefly in a body of water before falling upright back in his lab. She chuckled softly when she felt his grip on her hand tighten significantly but when he came to realize they had returned he immediately let go, he looks back at her and saw Alvah changed back into his male appearance and rubbed his cheek that was bandaged. 

“How long will it take you to repair your face?”  

“It shouldn’t take too long since it’s small.” he hummed softly when he realized Ford was staring at him rather intently “What? Something else on my face?”  

“... you really have changed, Alvah.” his face twitched at Ford’s statement “You never stepped in whenever someone was in trouble, you always watched as if it were the most boring thing you ever had to do. You’ve stated you are a neutral being that’s job was only to spectate and observe, nothing more than that.” his fingers picks at the small band aid on his check while averting his gaze from Ford’s. 

“Why? You prefer if I abandon your family’s safety instead?” 

“No, I’m more curious as to why you would risk yourself getting into trouble to step in when you know you could face dire consequences.” Alvah continues to pick at the band aid as he thought back to his time spending every waking moment with the Pines Family and he couldn’t help but smile rather bitterly. 

“I, too, am very curious.” he then chuckles “I’ve got your brother to blame for half of it, though.” Ford scoffed. 

“I’ll say.” he rolled his eyes. 

---

Contract

word count: 27,331

Fandom: Gravity Falls Pairing: Stanley Pines x Alvah (OC) Pronouns: She/Her Relationship: Platonic - Romantic Occupation: Guardian Ability: N/A

Keys:

n/a

Warnings:

spoilers to those who haven't seen the show, violence.

"Contract" pt. 2, pt. 3

had to split this into two parts because I wrote too much and hit the word limit, which is bullshit because a different post has over 60,000 words while this was about 30,000. so now I've just split them into seasons one and two, despite me wanting them to be together.

it was going to be broken up into two parts between season one and two but I reached the word limit again in the second part, and I didn't want it to be three parts because then the third part would be too short.

was gonna publish this when I finished the second part but literally screamed "fuck it", so now I hope I don't surpass the word limit again but I'm nearly done.

bound to be a lot of mistakes that I haven't fixed but fuck it. might fix it later.

season 1, episode 1. tourist trapped

Ah, summer break.

A time for leisure, recreation, for taking her easy.

Unless you're me.

We are now met with a scene with twin siblings fleeing for their lives in a golf cart while an unknown monster follows close behind them, knocking down trees in its pursuit for the siblings.

My name is Dipper, the girl who is about to puke is my sister Mabel. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror, rest assured. There's a perfectly logical explanation for this situation.

Let's rewind. It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air. They shipped us up north to a sleep town called Gravity Falls Oregon to stay at our great uncle's place in the woods. My sister tended to look on the brighter side of things, but I was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings. And then there was our great uncle Stan, that guy. Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap called the "Mystery Shack", the real mystery was why anyone came. And guess who had to work there.

It looked like it was going to be the same boring routine all summer, until one fateful day.

"He's looking at it, he's looking at it!" Dipper, who was currently cleaning, looked at his sister oddly as she watched a boy open a letter she left out "I rigged it."

"Mabel? I know you're going through your whole boy crazy phase, but I think you're overdoing it with the crazy part." he comments as he sprays a jar and wipes away the dust.

"What? Psh, come on Dipper, this is our first summer away from home. It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance."

"Yeah, but do you have to flirt with every guy you meet?" they then recall each time she flirted with any passing guy, to the point she actually scared a boy guy whilst he was working.

"Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now." and out walking through the door was none other Stan, looking disheveled and everything, holding his stomach as he burped "Argh, why?" Dipper laughed at her misfortune.

"Alright, alright. Look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it."

"Not it." the twins immediately protest, behind them, the handy man Soos, raises his hand.

"Not it."

"Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that." Stan turned his attention to the young lady working at the cashier, Wendy, ignoring Soos when he pulled out a bar of chocolate and started eating it.

"Wendy, I need you to put up this sign." Wendy, who was leaning back in a chair with her legs perched on the counter while reading through a magazine, raised her hand and lazily reached towards where they stood without taking her eyes off the page.

"I would but I, urgh, can't, urgh, reach it... urgh." he glares at them.

"I'd fire all of you if I could." he then looked back towards the twins "Alright, lets make it... ennie, meanie, minie... you." he stops and points at Dipper.

"Ah, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched." the older man rolled his eyes.

"Urgh, this again." Dipper shook his head.

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today my mosquito bites spelled out beware." he then showed his arm to Stan, to which he leaned down and squinted his eyes to take a look at the text.

"That says BEWARB." Dipper awkwardly scratches his arm "Look kid, the whole monsters in the forest is just local legend. Dumbed up by guys like me to sell merchandise to guys like that." he then gestures to a guy weirdly staring at a bobbly head figure that was of Stan, he then chucks the signs at Dipper "Now quit being so paranoid!" Dipper sighs in defeat.

A half hour later Dipper returns back to the shack after putting up all the signs but brought back something he managed to discover hidden out in the forest, a mysterious journal that was labeled three in the centre of it. Upon reading it, the author had logged down discoveries of creatures that plagued Gravity Falls from gnomes to flying eyeballs. He enthusiastically confesses everything to Mabel, who didn't quite share the same amount of interest as he did, but she did listen nonetheless as he babbled about everything that the journal had, that was until they heard the doorbell ring.

"Who's that?"

"Well, time to spill the beans." she then promptly spilt a can of conveniently placed beans, she then proceeds to point at herself with both her thumbs "This girl's got a date, woo woo!" she then falls back on the sofa, laughing to herself.

"Let me get this straight, in the half hour that I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?"

"What can I say? I'm just irresistible." the doorbell then rings again "Ooo! Coming!" she shouts and rushes to the door, Dipper than takes her spot of the sofa and opens the journal to start reading it, only for Stan to come walking in drinking a can of soda.

"Whatcha reading, slick?" caught off guard, he quickly shuts the book and hides it behind the sofa cushion and grabbing a magazine off the dino head beside the sofa.

"Oh, I was just catching up on uh..." he narrows his eyes on the page he opened to and saw it was of gold jewelry, he then closes the magazine to get a look at the cover to see what on earth he was reading "Gold chains for old men magazine?"

"That's a good issue."

"Hey, family." the sound of Mabel's voice caught their attention, causing them to stop what they were doing and look over to the girl who entered the living room with someone by her side "Say hello to my new boyfriend." turning around to face them, they were met with a boy(?) with ridiculously pale skin as he wore a hoodie with the hood over his head and his hair covering his left eye, he had a rather unsettling feel to him and what made them feel even more uncomfortable was the red stain on their cheek.

"Sup."

"Hey."

"How's it hanging?"

"We met at the cemetery, and he was really deep." she spoke as she caressed his arm "Oh, a little muscle there. That's... what a surprise."

"So... what's your name?"

"Uh, normal... man!"

"He means Norman." Dipper raised an eyebrow.

"Are you bleeding, Norman?"

"It's jam." Mabel gasps and shoves him.

"I love jam! Look at this!"

"So, you wanna, go hold hands or whatever?"

"Oh, oh my goodness." she giggles softly "Don't wait up." she then dashes away, Norman does the gun gesture to them before oddly walking away from them to follow Mabel, smacking into the doorframe in the process and crashing into something on the way out, causing Dipper's eye to twitch.

There was something about Norman that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal. Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers! Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious... zombies! At the revelation, he puts the journal down and looks out the window, eyes widened in shock when he saw Mabel sitting rather unbothered on a bench while Norman approached her, arms stretched out and groaning with each step he took.

"Oh no, Mabel!" he let out a scream when he saw Norman slam his hand down on her shoulders, when he backed away it was revealed that he had placed a necklace made of daisies around her neck "Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?"

"It's a dilemma to be sure." Dipper gasps in fright at the unsuspecting voice, looking up, he saw that it was only Soos changing a lightbulb "I couldn't help but overhear you talking to yourself in this empty room."

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?"

"Hmm, how many brains did you see the guy eat?"

"Zero."

"Look dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town, like the mailman? Pretty sure that dudes a werewolf, but you gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a majority coo coo clock.'' Dipper lets out a sigh, hands on his hips, as he nods to Soos' words.

"As always, Soos, you're right."

"My wisdom is both a blessing, and curse."

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!"

"I am needed elsewhere." after readjusting his cap he backs away into the darkness, and by that, he backs away until he walks out of the room.

My sister could be in trouble. It was time to get some evidence. And after spending the entire day recording everything he could get on Norman he concluded he had gotten what he wanted, from the way he collapsed after getting hit by a frisbee, to punching through a glass window to open a door and struggling to walk straight, to even them frolicking through the cemetery and him falling into a grave and scarily bursting through the dirt... like a zombie.

I'd seen enough.

"Mabel, we've got to talk about Norman."

"Isn't he the best. Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" he screams in fright at the large red circle on her cheek, she then laughs "Haha, gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower. That was fun."

"No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems." he starts as he pulls the journal out from his vest, she gasped softly.

"You think he might be a vampire? That would be awesome!"

"Guess again, sister. Shabam!" he then proceeds to open the book to the page about zombies, she screams at the page, he looks at where he opened it too and saw it instead was on the page about gnomes "Oh, wait. I'm sorry, shabam!" she tilts her head to the side.

"A zombie? That is not funny Dipper."

"I'm not joking! It all adds up! The bleeding, the limp! He never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking."

"Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!"

"But what about me, huh? Why can't you trust me?"

"Mabel! He's gonna eat your brains!" he shouts as he shakes her back and forward, this was when Mabel's face hardened as she pushed Dipper's hands off of her.

"Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock, and I'm gonna be adorable and he's gonna be dreamy and I'm not gonna let you ruin it with your crazy conspiracies." she shouts as she jabs her finger into his chest until he backs out of their room and slams the door shut in his face. A few hours later, Dipper is in the living room when Mabel rushes down from the attic to answer the door where Norman was waiting for her and so the two were off for their date.

"Soos is right. I don't have any real evidence. I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and-- wait, what?!" after going through the footage he found a clip of Norman and Mabel together, but what caught him off guard was Norman's hand falling off and him picking it up and reattaching it "Ah! I was right! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Stan! Grunkle--" he runs out of the living room in search for Stan, when he makes it outside he accidentally runs into someone and falls to the ground.

"Oh?" looking up he was met with the eyes of a kind woman, she chuckled softly at his disheveled self sprawled on the ground, so she kneels down slightly to offer him a hand to stand "Good evening Dipper, what seems to have you in a rush this fine afternoon?"

"Alvah!" to Dipper, she seemed to be the only sane person in the quiet town of Gravity Falls but he didn't seem to understand why she would ever associate herself with a man that was his uncle. Alvah was a middle-aged woman with long blondish grey hair that she had tied up in a braid with pale but sharp green eyes that held a warmth like an early morning day, despite coming out into the forest to visit the Mystery Shack daily she always wore rather elegant clothes wherever she went. Upon meeting the Pines twins she became somewhat of a maternal figure towards them, always being so calm, kind, and patient with the two of them and they would tend to run to her whenever she came to visit. He didn't know what sort of relationship she and Stan had but the only thing their uncle would tell them was that she was a long-lasting visitor of the Mystery Shack that just stuck around, she grew on him that he always expected to see her anytime throughout the week "You aren't-- Mabel is-- there's a-- I need--" she places her hand on his shoulder and gave him a comforting smile.

"Slow down, sweetheart, calm yourself." she takes a breath and he follows her, when she exhales her smile softens when he managed to calm his nerves "Now, tell me, what's gotten you so worked up?" she was still kneeling down when he stood up straight, hands waving around wildly as he spoke.

"Mabel's got this boyfriend and I believe he's a zombie! He's gonna eat her face!" she raised a brow.

"And what makes you believe that? Don't you think you're being a little overprotective of your sister to be throwing wild accusations like that?" she jerks back a little when he thrusts a video camera in her face, he then plays her the exact clip of Norman's hand falling off and him putting it back on "Well... that could just be a prosthetic, you know?"

"Alvah!" she chuckles softly, pulling her hands up in surrender.

"I'm pulling your leg, sweetpea." she then boops his nose "If you believe that this boy is a zombie, then you should go and prevent your sister from becoming his next meal." she then gently pushes him to where the golf cart was.

"So, wait, do you believe me?" she gives him a shrug.

"Whether I believe you or not, what matters is if you believe in yourself, first and foremost. If you think your sister is going to get hurt, trust your gut feeling before it becomes too late." she then nudges him once again, tossing him the keys that she managed to snag off of Soos "Now get going, I'll distract your uncle from questioning where you guys have wandered off to." he gives her a thankful smile.

"Thanks." she winks and waves him goodbye, by the time he drove off Stan had finished his spiel on a rock that looks like a face and dealing with the tourist and their stupid questions on it, they rushed into the Mystery Shack to look at the attractions while Stan approached and stood by her side.

"What's got him in a rush?"

"He said he needs to go save Mabel from her boyfriend that could possibly be a zombie." he laughs and slaps his knee.

"Woo, that kid is a riot!" she smiles.

"You aren't worried about them getting hurt, Stan?" she asks as they both turn to enter the Mystery Shack, her following behind as he led her through the gift shop to where the tourist were currently looking at a couple taxidermized creatures.

"They'll be fine. If I know anything about those little twerps, they wouldn't get themselves into any situations that would get them killed." this caused her to raise a brow at him.

"... tell me Dipper's real name." she stifled a laugh when she saw him pause, he folds his arm and looks up in thought before letting out a groan and hitting her shin with his eyeball cane.

"Irrelevant." she shakes her head while soothing her shin, for the rest of the afternoon she spent it observing Stan lying through his teeth to the unsuspecting tourists who awed at each other his words. Whenever he'd tell a joke he'd look to the back and see he'd get a laugh out of her, that prompted him to tell more jokes before he continued the tour, they were now back in the gift shop where Stan was showing them a new item, which was nothing more than a spiral on a stick that would spin and the gimmick was that it was a "very distracting object". The sound of screaming and something big approaching caused her to look out the open window, there she saw a giant... gnome amalgamation that was chasing after Dipper and Mabel? She turned away while closing the shutter doors to the window, yeah, no thank you "What's got you spooked?" her eyes move to Stan, who was staring at her questionably, she shook her head.

"You would be better off not knowing." he raised a brow at her.

"Well, alright." he then pushes her off the wall she was leaning "Anyways, man the cash register. Wendy isn't here and Soos is busy."

"I don't work here."

"Yeah, but you come here every day like you do. Enough chit chat, I don't pay you to stand there all pretty and talk." she deadpans when he walked away.

"... you don't pay me at all." she doesn't complain though, taking care of all the costumers who came up to pay for what they wanted to buy from the gift shop, no matter how absurdly overpriced everything was. She let out a sigh when the last of them finally finished looking around and left, stating that they were definitely coming back again. She was sitting on the counter, having a pleasant conversation with Stan while he was counting the cash they earned for the day when Dipper and Mabel walked through the door, both adults look at the children in amusement and concern.

"Yeesh, you two get hit by a bus or something?" she shakes her head at Stan when he laughs, smacking him on the shoulder before looking down at the twins, she smiles fondly and gives the boy a thumbs up. Dipper smiles at her as they both ignore Stan's comment and start making their way to their room so they could clean themselves up, the older man noticed their indifference to him and so he quickly changed up "Uh, hey! U-Uh, wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory so, uh, how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, you know?"

"Really?"

"What's the catch?"

"The catch is do it before I change my mind. Now take something." Stan elbows the cash register so it would open but then felt like he was being stared at, looking up, he flinched under the softened gaze that was Alvah warmly smiling down at him.

"That was sweet of you, Stan." he just rolled his eyes, quickly averting his eyes away from her gaze.

"Didn't you hear me? I said I overstocked is all." she just hums.

"Sure." she was smacked in the leg this time, in retaliation, she kicked him in his side. Looking over she saw Mabel looking through boxes while Dipper was looking at hats, upon noticing, she only then just realized that he had lost his old raggedy hat and now replaced it with a blue one with a pine tree in the middle of it.

"That oughta do the trick."

"And I well have a," she pulls something out of a box and holds it to her chest, when she does a twirl she reveals it to them "grappling hook!" they all stare in bewilderment.

...

...

"Wouldn't you rather have like, a doll or something?" she then shoots the grapple and hoists herself off the ground, knocking over a couple boxes on her way up.

"Grappling hook!"

"Fair enough." she and Stan are left in the gift shop alone once more after the children picked out what they wanted, she hops of the counter and turns to speak again with Stan but stopped when Mabel ran up to her to give her a hug before finally leaving with Dipper.

"They're such sweet kids, don't you think?" he scoffed.

"They're unappreciative."

"Other than the fact you're giving them a roof over there heads, I don't think there's much you've given them to appreciate." she raises her hands when he narrows his eyes on her, she gives him a laugh "You should spend some quality time with them."

"I do." she deadpans.

"Forging bills is not family bonding, Stan. I was not pleased when I had to bail you out." he just laughs.

"Well, I'm way ahead of you, toots!" she raised a brow when he stashed the cash and walked over to where he had a calendar, his finger goes across the days until stopping on a specific date that was circled "It's fishing season on this day, so I plan on taking them fishing!" this made her smile and start clapping her hands.

"Ooo, how fun. I'm sure they'll love it." he nods.

"I know. Will I see you there? I'm sure the whole town will be out." she shrugs her shoulders.

"I'm not sure, I don't really know how to fish." his jaw dropped at the information.

"You're kidding?" she shook her head "Now you gotta come down! If I see you, I'll be sure to teach you a thing or two! I'll impress you with my killer fishing skills." she chuckles, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I'm sure you will."

"Is that a challenge?" they grin at each other before bursting into laughter.

This journal told me there was nobody in Gravity Falls I could trust, but when you battle a hundred gnomes side by side with someone, you realize they've probably always got your back. Our uncle told us that there was nothing strange about this town, but who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked.

--

season 1, episode 2. the legend of the gobblewonker

"Stan!" Alvah shouts, bringing her fingers to her lips and blowing hard so a sharp and loud whistle would rip through the air, she smiles when she saw the old man perk up at the sound of her whistle and the call of his name. She smiles as she waves her hand to greet him from the docks, she saw how he smiled when he saw her and waved his hand while mirroring her expression, as he made his way over to where she was she noticed how neither Dipper or Mabel were with him.

"You made it, toots." she crouches down so she wouldn't need to look down at him and so he wouldn't need to crane his neck just to look up at her, she then looks around in search for the twins.

"Where are the kids?" he huffed at the question.

"They decided to spend their time with Soos, rather than their old man." she raised a brow.

"You jealous?"

"Hah! Me? Jealous? Of what?" he flinches under her gaze, arms folded and eyebrow raising even higher, telling by that he could tell that she didn't believe a word he said "Sure, I brought them out here so we could have a family bonding moment, and sure it hurt a little that they preferred to go on an adventure with Soos instead, but I'll show them I don't need them to have a good time myself!"

"Sure you don't." she laughs when he splashed her with some water.

"Are you going to ridicule me or something? I thought you were supposed to be nice."

"I'm just teasing." he watched her stand up and shrink in on himself when she walked off, he sighed to himself when he was left on his own once more but perked up when a shadow cast over him. He glances up and saw Alvah standing over him with a basket of what he could only guess was food and a case of Pitt Cola, she dangled them in front of him "Don't you gotta show me your "killer fishing skills", Stan?" he smiles up at her.

"I'll knock your socks off." he takes both the basket and case from her, sitting them down in the boat, before standing up so he could help her into his boat. He gently takes her hand and guides her into the boat, being careful so she wouldn't fall with how jankey his boat is, and smiles when she settles in across from him "You ain't afraid of getting your hair wet, are you?"

"Of course not." she answered while readjusting her sunhat "Now let's go, I wanna see a trout." he raises a brow as he starts the engine.

"You know fishes?" he watches as she pulls a book about fresh water fish, she grins at him and flips through a couple pages.

"Did you know that there are nine species of sturgeon that are listed as either threatened or endangered under the Endangered Species Act? They are considered one of the world's most endangered groups of species." he makes a face when she continued to ramble about different species of fish, listing down from the most common to the rarest "Did you also know that catfish are a diverse group of ray-finned fish? Named for their prominent barbels, which resemble a cat's whiskers--"

"Sweetheart, if I wanted to learn about fish I would have stayed in school." she pouts.

"It's good to know what you fish, because you could get fined for fishing endangered species. But that's only if you knowingly fish them out." she lowers the book and saw the way he was muttering about selling an endangered fish, he was promptly hit over the head by the book. She was currently eating a sandwich while watching Stan trying to tie a thread through a hook, laughing quietly to herself as he struggled to get it through the hole "I thought you said you could tie a knot with your eyes closed." she looked away when he glared at her.

"If you think it's so easy, why don't you give it a shot?" he shoves the thread and hook into her hands, knocking her sandwich out of her hands and into the lake.

"Hey!" she shouts, glaring at him for the loss, he just laughs as he takes a sandwich from out of her picnic basket and lounges in the boat.

"It's all you, toots." she narrows her eyes on him, she doesn't break eye contact as she sits back and holds both up in front of him. In the blink of an eye, she manages to loop the thread through the hole before tying a uni-knot "Wha-- how'd you--" his face hardens when she pulls out another book, this time it was about fishing; specifically how to tie knots.

"Boom." she giggles when he snatches the book from her and starts reading through it, she looks at him when he lowered the book then picked up another hook.

"Show me how to do the trilene knot." she grins. After patiently teaching Stan how to tie a trilene knot they finally threw out their lines into the water, Alvah quietly listening to Stan ramble on and on with stories from his youth, she'd ask a question here or there and laugh a little. They would both cheer when they'd catch a couple fish, Stan muttering about cooking them for dinner later, then they would settle into a comfortable silence as they basked under the sun's rays "Hey, Alvah."

"Yeah?"

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Psh, sure." he clears his throat.

"Here goes. My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!" she tears her eyes away from the water and stares at Stan, who was looking at her with the biggest grin on her face "... but her aim is getting better!" his grin slowly starts to drop the longer she stared at him.

"... today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance." he stares at her "So I pushed her over." they now both stare at each other in silence before bursting out into laughter, Alvah has her hand hovering over her lips while Stan slapped his knee and laughed to his hearts contents.

"I didn't know you were a comedian! That was comedy gold! Here, here! I got another one! How much does a chimney cost?" he makes a face that begs her to ask, she chuckles and decides to play along.

"I don't know Stan, how much does a chimney cost?" he giggles to himself.

"Nothing! It's on the house!" they're both laughing hysterically once again, getting odd looks from others nearby but neither paid any notice "Woo, I gotta go out fishing with you more often! I haven't had this much fun in years!" she giggles.

"As flattered as I am, that sounds a little sad."

"You're a riot." she turns her gaze back to her line and frowns when she wasn't getting any bites as often as she did when they first started, she looked across the lake and saw the Corduroy family, her eyes specifically on Daniel Corduroy, aka, Manly Dan. She watched as he kept his eye on the water before grabbing a fish with his bare hands, yanking it out of the water then proceed to crush it in between his biceps.

"Hmm." she looks at Stan and saw he pulled another sandwich out from the picnic basket, she then proceeds to take it from his hands and turn back towards the water.

"Hey! What are you--"

"Shush." he huffs, crossing his arms and watching in amusement as she concentrated on the movement in the water. She wriggles her free hand as she hovered the sandwich closer to the water, her eyes dancing across the water to detect any sort of movement. Her head then snaps in a direction before reaching into the water, Stan raised a brow then his eyes widened in shock as he watched her drop the sandwich in favor of the king salmon she managed to pull out of the water.

"Wow! A king salmon! What a beaut!" he looks back at her and sweats a little at the bright look on her face, hair a little disheveled after staring at the water so closely for what seemed like ten minutes.

"Haha, did you know that they're called chinook salmon and that it is the largest and most valuable species of Pacific salmon? Salmon is rich in vitamins B6, B12, D, phosphorus and omega-3 fatty acids and that they play an important role in the culture, diet, economy and religion of several Northwest Tribes."

"Didn't know, don't really care." her face drops at that "Dang, if only we had a camera. Would love to take a photo of this monstrosity."

"Maybe you should catch the next one, Stan."

"I'll make sure to catch a bigger one!"

"Didn't I just say that they're one of the largest?"

"Then I'll catch an even BIGGER king salmon!"

"Go right ahead." he laughs at her and stands to his feet, he's getting ready to toss his line out when something blows right by them at great speed, then something even bigger that forms a giant wave. The king salmon that was in her hands got caught in the wave and swam to freedom while Stan and Alvah got completely soaked, Alvah stared rather owlishly at nothing in particular while Stan had an angered expression, he tore his hat off and threw it on the ground before letting out a defeated sigh and sitting down "Well, that was certainly... something." she mutters to herself and attempts to flick the water off her arms then grabbing a fist full of her dress and squeezing some of the water out.

"Today has been a disaster." Stan admits, she tilts her head to the side.

"Really? I thought you were having fun." she says, taking her hat off and cringing when she felt more water drip down her face "Did I bore you, Stan?" he immediately shakes his head.

"Oh, no, no! You definitely made everything all the more fun, honestly! It's just that..." she then finally noticed his gaze on the few boats still out on the lake, which all consisted of one thing, they were families spending time with each other "I really, REALLY wanted to go fishing with those knuckleheads, instead they wanted to go hunt some sea monster while I got stuck with you." she huffs with a laugh, grabbing strands of her hair and twisting it to squeeze the water out as well, she then throws her hair over her shoulder.

"That better be a good thing." he only smirks.

"You wish. I want them to know that I genuinely want to spend time with them, like a family."

"I'll say it again, Stan, but that's really sweet of you." she picks up his hat he threw to the ground and squeezed the water out of it then placed it on his head "I'm sure they'll come around eventually, at the end of the day, you're their great uncle Stan. I'm sure they'll see the error of their ways and come back to spend the rest of what is left of today with you, just like that." she reassures as she snaps her fingers, she then leans down to grab two cans of pitt cola, handing one to him to take.

"... you really know what to say to mellow a fella out." he says and takes the drink from her, she just gives him a soft expression in return. They both crack their cans open, thrusting them together then taking long gulps from their fizzy beverages. The rest of the day is spent with them lazily drifting with the water in a comfortable silence, it was only when they started to get cold that Stan decided it was time to head back and wait for the kids to return. She looks at Stan and saw he had a blissful smile on his face, a smile of her own stretched across her face the longer she gazed at him before she looked behind him to gaze at the lowering sun.

"Hey, over here!" both are caught off guard at the sound of Dipper's voice, looking behind them, they were taken aback at the sight of what was left of Soos' boat, they were surprised that it was still floating.

"What the... kids?" a flash from Dipper's camera made Alvah jump, not expecting it to go off, though it was more or less aimed at Stan so her eyes were spared "I thought you two were off playing spin the bottle with Soos."

"Well, we spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur."

"But we realized the only dinosaur we want to hang out with is right here." Stan scoffs while Alvah chuckles.

"Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time without ya! Making friends, talking to my reflection," Alvah was caught of guard when Stan raised his leg and saw an ankle monitor that she didn't not notice the entire "I had a run in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun."

"When did you get that? How did I not notice that?" he ignores her.

"So I guess there isn't room in that boat for three more?" the older two share a look then look back at the three in the sinking boat, Stan's eyes narrowing in on them. His gaze faltered when he saw the two put on fishing hats with awkwardly sewn names of "MABEL" and "DIPPY" on them, she thought they were real cute.

"... you knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?"

"Five bucks says you can't do it."

"You're on!"

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed plus me singing at the top of my lungs!"

"I like those odds!" they had to rearrange a few things on the boat for the three of them to fit but they made it work, Stan, Mabel and Dipper sat together while Soos and Alvah sat across from them.

"Soos, what on earth happened to your shirt?" she questions, only now just questioning it.

"Long story dude." Dipper than pulls out his camera again.

"Alright. Everybody get together and say fishing!" Soos, Stan and Mabel get close, he then looks up at Alvah "You too." she chuckles and takes the camera from him, gently pushing him towards his sister.

"Let me take the picture, sweetpea." though hesitant, he was reassured by the older woman that she did not mind and so he joined his sister's side. The rest of that day was spent with Alvah capturing sweet moments of them having a great time, Stan indeed trying to thread the hook with his eyes closed but Mabel was covering his eyes when he started to peek, Soos and Mabel laughing as Stan read through a book of jokes with Dipper looking less than amused, Dipper actually catching a fish with Mabel pointing at it, Soos took the camera from her and snapped a shot of Stan with only half his face then proceeding to try and get one of Alvah to include her but missed up the timing because she was taking her hat off and so he only got the side of her, the next two were of Stan helping Mabel steal fish from another family by cutting their net then them fleeing from the lake police.

"Ahem." if it weren't for the fact that they were sitting next to each other he probably wouldn't have been able to hear it over the engine, he looked to his side and saw Alvah with a brow raised as she snapped her fingers "Just like that." he huffed, laughing to himself as he shook his head.

"Don't go getting a big head."

--

season 1, episode 3. headhunters

she doesn't really play a significant roll in this episode, only really appearing when stan reveals his wax stan.

scolds stan about lying to the people who came that there will be no free pizza, that being the reason they actually came.

she was thoroughly impressed with mabel's wax carving skills, getting every detail of stan.

alvah helps stan set up a memorial for wax stan, encouraging the twins on their search for the killer.

she did find the wax figures unsettling during the funeral and left to "comfort" stan when he ran out of the room crying, followed by soos.

when they return to the destroyed room and the children say it was because they "came to life" and what not, the adults laughed and stan thanked them for finding his head.

season 1, episode 4. the hand that rocks the mabel

doesn't really appear in this episode.

she thinks gideon is a little creepy, from his song to the way he pressures mabel into going on more and more dates with him, taking advantage of her kindness.

she alongside wendy, albeit the latter unaware, help mabel realize that she should be honest about how he makes her feel.

mabel laughs when alvah threatens to strangle the little boy if he decides to do anything to retaliate against her.

she appreciated it.

was standing beside stan when soos became a human disco ball, staring questionably at the man as he spun in circles.

season 1, episode 5. the inconveniencing

not really present.

season 1, episode 6. dipper vs manliness

is at the diner when the pines family come to get food.

they join her at her booth where she is drinking a cup of coffee and eating a plate of scrambled eggs and toast.

when stan was being a cheapskate, she tells them that it'll be on her and to get whatever they want.

mabel is ecstatic to be getting pancakes that morning.

when dipper says "pancakes are on me" and is laughed at by stan and mabel, and a small laugh that leaves alvah, the former doubt him.

when stan brings up his little "disco girl" fiasco, alvah tells him it's alright to listen to pop music while being a boy.

he asks her if he's plenty manly, she could only look away and silently sip at her coffee.

when dipper does the whole "test your manliness" contraction and fails, alvah is the only one that comforts him while he was being teased by the other patrons for getting the weakest score.

though she couldn't help but be impressed when manly dan broke the machine and impressively the stack of pancakes landed on other patron's plates.

when dipper leaves and it's just the three of them left, stan embarrassingly admits that he has a small crush on lazy susan.

alvah teases him about it.

she's with mabel helping her "spruce" up her uncle who's a "cranky, cross, weird old man" with the power of mabel.

she laughs at that.

she's really enjoying mabel, wendy and soos do their best to help the poor old man.

at this point she's not even helping, she's just laughing at their failed attempts honestly.

trying to get him to smile?

failed.

give him a facial?

failed.

try and shave his outrageous chest hair?

don't even remind me.

etiquette?

doesn't exist.

by the end of all mabel's "training" he looked even worse than when they first started, which only frustrate mabel.

"Your niece is SO adorable, Stan. Never knew she would be quite the cupid." Alvah teases from where she was, he just huffed at her, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms "Come on, she's doing you quite the favor if you're asking me. You could learn a thing or two from your love obsessed niece." he waves his hand at her.

"You've been nothing but a bother ALL day, Alvah! Just tell me I don't gotta shot and be done with it." Mabel, who was in the middle of a rant, briefly looked up when Alvah left their side to approach Stan. Wendy and Soos were chattering about other stuff that could help so they didn't notice how Alvah approached Stan, hands on her hips as she stood a little too close to him.

"Not at all. I heard back in the day you were quite the charmer, I believe you've got a good shot with her." she says and leans in close, he scoffed and leaned in, not backing away despite the small distance between them "Shoot your shot, I'm sure you'll hit a home run if you just be yourself."

"You're only saying that because with how perfect and pretty you are, you can just do or say about anything and people will gobble it right up." she laughs as she leaned back, hand to her chest and face flushed with how much she's been laughing that day.

"You think I'm pretty~?" his hands are now on his hips, eyes averting her teasing gaze, his own face flushing a little.

"I would be a fool if I said no."

"Oh my gosh!" Mabel suddenly squealing caught them off guard, the four of them all looking down at her when she sprung off the sofa with her hands to her cheeks "Grunkle Stan and Alvah! Alvah and Grunkle Stan! You two, you're perfect!" they both share a look then burst out into laughter.

"That's really nice of you sweety, but I'm way out of her league." Alvah raised a brow, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.

"Really? And here I thought I was, and I quote, "perfect and pretty". Your words." he laughs.

"Yeah! But I'm irresistible and dreamy! No woman would deny me!" she jokingly rolled her eyes with crossed arms, she hummed softly when she felt Mabel tug on the skirt of her dress, when she spared her a glance she winced at how shiny her eyes were.

"What do you think of my grunkle, Alvah? Is he dating material?" she looked at Stan once more, eyes looking him up and down as she took in his character, and Mabel was graced with a soft and serene look on her face as she didn't break away from him.

"I think he's perfect for her." the sincerity in her tone was enough to satisfy Mabel, though the young girl did not miss the longing in her eyes the longer she stared at him.

"That's good enough!" she shouts then rushes out of the room, they all wait because not even a minute passes when she comes back "Grunkle Stan, come with me! And leave your pants at home."

"With pleasure." the two disappear and left Alvah, Wendy and Soos alone in the living room, to which Wendy and Soos look towards Alvah.

"You know, Mabel isn't wrong." Wendy quips.

"Hmm?" Soos nods his head.

"You and Stan, well, you two are like two peas in a pod! He doesn't get mad at you like he would at us."

"You laugh at his jokes."

"He enjoys being around you."

"You don't barf whenever he's next to you." as they continue to list more things about them, she just laughs at waves her hand.

"Me and Stan? As flattering as that is, I don't see him like that." she admits as she picks up the photo Mabel dropped, laughing at Stan's poor posture in the photo "He's just a really good friend, honestly." Wendy huffs with a smile, crossing her arms as she narrowed her eyes on her.

"With how you two dance around each other? Yeah, right."

"Believe what you wanna believe."

season 1, episode 7. double dipper

alvah probably wouldn't have gone to stan's "party" if it weren't for mabel's insistence that she just had to be there to keep stan company, or whatever that means.

she argues that she didn't have anything to wear for the occasion, but that doesn't stop mabel from making an outfit out of nothing but left over fabric.

that kid never ceased to surprise her.

"How do I look, Stan?"

"Same old, same old, I promise you that." upon seeing her he felt his words get caught in his throat, staring owlishly as she tugged on the scarf wrapped securely around her neck "W-Where did you-- ahem! Where..." she sighs to herself.

"I don't know how I feel about sequin, but Mabel insisted that I wear them so I could shine." upon that they notice the way some of the lights that shun down on her reflected off the glittery-like pants and sparkled "I don't quite like the way it feels, but I'll put up with it if it makes her happy. So Stan, I ask again, how do I look?" she asks once again and opens her arms, going so far as doing a little twirl with a giggle.

"You look..." she slowly raises a brow, waiting for an answer "you look real pretty, doll face." she continues to giggle when he shoved his hands in his pockets, face turning red while her own cheeks turned pink.

"Thanks, you look quite dashing as well." he clears his throat as he tugs on his collars.

"D-Don't I? I'm glad you noticed." he then holds his hand out to her, the other rubbing the back of his neck nervously before gesturing towards the dance floor "Wanna dance?" she looks down at his hand and noticed that it was shaking, if she took his hand would it be sweaty?

"You are so adorable, Stan." she coos and takes his hand, and it was indeed, sweaty "What are you, Dipper?" he gasps, hand to his chest.

"I am offended. Alright, toots, I may not be as young as I was before but I'll show you I still got it."

and he most certainly did.

at first she wasn't so sure when he led her to the dance floor and shouted at soos to play specific songs, but as the night went on she noticed that he was a really good dancer.

he was light on his feet and definitely had rhythm.

he knew just how to guide her, how to hold her.

she's laughing to her hearts contents with every swing and every twirl, the both of them ignoring when they hear mabel squealing in the background when she found them.

with how smooth stan was she hadn't even realized that she was dipped until she opened her eyes and saw her vision was upside down.

stan is grinning down at her when she looks up at him, panting softly at how long they've been dancing for.

"Speechless?" he laughs some more, hands holding her by the waist while one of her hands goes to her chest while the back of her other hand is pressed to her forehead, head leaning to the side.

"You've swept me completely off my feet." he laughs when he hoists her back up and the two of them are spinning around together, her hands resting on his shoulders while his stayed on her waist "This is fun, thanks for tonight." he chuckles.

"We oughta thank Mabel for this, you wouldn't even have come if it weren't for her."

"You're right." he leads them over to where the food was when Soos announced it was time for the competition between Mabel and Pacifica Northwest to continue, she's drinking from a cup while Stan was unnecessarily taking a lot of marshmallows when a bill strung from what she guessed was a fishing line hung in front of him.

"Right, like I'm gonna fall for that." she doesn't say anything as she watched Stan ignore the money dangling in front of him... for about a second before jumping for it, taking out the table and knocking everything to the floor then cashing after it, leaving her alone "Gimme that money, sonny!" she sighs, deflating a little.

"And there the night goes."

season 1, episode 8. irrational treasure

shows up at the end only to make fun of stan.

season 1, episode 9. the time travelers pig

shows up at the end to make fun of stan... again.

season 1, episode 10. fight fighters

helps mabel with stan's fear of heights.

and by help she's just in the background, encouraging stan that he doesn't have anything to be afraid of.

is with stan and mabel on top of the water tower, nonchalantly leaning against the railing while stan's gripping onto it like his life depends on it.

"Take off your blindfold, now!" when he does he's met with the daunting sight of being meters off the ground.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I was expecting." Alvah snickers at Stan's frightened face, eyes widened in fear as he couldn't tear his eyes away. Stan briefly looks at Alvah and saw the way she was casually leaning against the handrail, arms crossed without a single care in the world "You're enjoying this too much." she nods.

"I am."

"You're doing better than I thought! Now let go of the handrail." Mabel instructs, Alvah stifles her laughter by how much he was trembling.

"No!" he answers back, voice all strained, that was enough to get Alvah to burst out into laughter.

"Hey, do you smell anger and hormones?" as soon as she said that they look behind Mabel and saw Robbie, who's supposed to be off fighting Dipper, climbing up onto the water tower.

"Finally, I'm safe!"

"Hey, Robbie, get your own water tower!"

"Shh! Keep it down! He'll find us!" she raises a brow at his sudden appearance and leans back to get a look at what he was fleeing from, she squinted her eyes when she saw a pixelated figure at the bottom of the water tower. Before she could do anything he kicked the supporting beams, causing the water tower to shake.

"What was that?!" Mabel shouts, Stan's grip on the handrail tightens as sweat bleeds down the side of his face.

"Oh boy!"

"We're safe, right?"

"Of course not! This thing is on stilts high, high up!" whoever the pixelated figure was managed to break the support beam, Robbie unfortunately fell off while Stan and Mabel were able to run to the opposite side from where it was falling, but Alvah was too also unfortunate and fell off but managed to catch herself.

"Alvah!" she looks down and breaks out into a cold sweat at the distance between herself and the ground, sighing nervously to herself.

"Well... this is an unexpected predicament." whatever was going on below them quickly moved elsewhere, she looks back up and quickly reaches her other hand to grab a hold of the railing to pull herself back up. She grows a little nervous when she felt the tower sway due to it now only being supported by three beams, she starts to pull herself up but cringes when she heard the handrail itself creak "Uh... a little help, please!" she shouts.

"Hang in there!" she sighs to herself.

"I already am." when she felt a hand she thought it would have been Mabel to come to her rescue, instead when she looked up she was met with Stan instead. He takes one of her hands first to pull her up and when she was above the handrail he grabs the back of her legs to swing them over and pull her back to safety, he was still a little weak to the knees so they collapsed to the ground with her laying on his chest, the both of them unmoving after the drastic turn of events "Thanks for helping me, Stan." his chest rumbles as he laughs weakly.

"Right back at cha, toots." she rolls her eyes and pats his chest, she finally manages to push herself up and stand to her feet, albeit with shaking legs, and helps Stan to his feet "I finally got over my fear of heights."

"So you actually WERE scared of heights."

"Don't push your luck."

season 1, episode 11. little dipper

makes a brief appearance to tell dipper that it's okay to be short and that he shouldn't need to be insecure about it.

soos points out that she and stan are about the same height when she wears heels.

they tell her to take off her heels.

she takes her leave.

season 1, episode 12. summerween

wears a simple angel costume and gives the children candy in stan's stead while he was scaring the children.

or attempting to scare them.

joins them at the end of the night for the horror movie marathon.

season 1, episode 13. boss mabel

finds it real cute how both mabel and dipper are similar to stan.

season 1, episode 14. bottomless pit

doesn't fall in like the other four do.

hears their screams fade out into existence and kind of just sits there and waits to see what happens.

not even a couple seconds later and the screaming returns and the four of them are thrown right back out.

she greets them like nothing even happened.

shakes her head when stan falls back in.

season 1, episode 15. the deep end

is just casually sunbathing.

season 1, episode 16. carpet diem

only appears to stare weirdly at soos, who's technically waddles, as he passes by.

season 1, episode 17. boyz crazy

not present in this episode, only at the end to comfort wendy after her break up with robbie.

season 1, episode 18. land before swine

joins them on their rescue mission to save waddles, and because stan called her so she could help comfort mabel.

she was always good at that.

after being told what happened by stan, she gave him a skeptical look and knew that he was lying to mabel about how waddles disappeared.

following the trial of yarn, it led them to what they believed was an abandoned church out deep into the woods.

"Okay, the red yarn leads to..." she trailed off when she saw at the end of the church was old man McGucket rocking back and forward in a rocking chair while playing a banjo... rather creepy that he was there in the first place "Old man McGucket?" he turns at the sound of Mabel's voice, smiling at them and waving his hand to greet them.

"Howdy, friends!"

"What are you doing out here?"

"You'll never believe me. So I was doing my hourly hootenanny..." Stan scoffs, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms.

"Ohh! This guy."

"When this enormous wingly critter stole my musical spoons and flew lickety split into the abandoned mine down yonder." they all lean over to take a peek down the hole in the floorboards where the red yarn was leading, Alvah reached forward to grab Dipper by his shoulder when she noticed that his hat was going to fall in.

"Looks kinda hairy down there."

"Come on, Grunkle Stan, you can handle it. You punched a pterodactyl in the face, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Haha! I did do that, didn't I?" Alvah side eyes him, she looks away when he glared at her.

"My! What a suspicious laughter!" he then looks at Alvah, who looks back at him with a kind smile, she leans back a bit when he points directly at her face "I remember you! I remember you from all the way back then!" he shouts, she tilts her head to the side.

"And I remember you from, like, last week?" he laughs wildly.

"I know what you are!" Stan and Soos got in front of her, making sure to make some distance between her and McGucket while the kids pulled her away "You can't fool me!"

"Knock it off, loon." Stan growls.

"That ain't cool, dawg." Soos says disappointedly, Dipper and Mabel look up at Alvah all worried.

"Are you alright?"

"Why's old man McGucket acting more crazy then usual?" Alvah just gave an innocent shrug.

"Perhaps I remind him of someone." that seemed like a logical answer, though when the others turned their attention back to the hole, they failed to notice the way both Alvah and McGucket stared at each other.

they go down with dipper first, then mabel, soos, alvah, stan and unfortunately mcgucket tell about how he kissed raccoon or something. none of them were really paying attention.

when the rope snapped and they all fell down into the chasm, they were lucky that they landed on a mushroom to break their fall, though alvah did land on top of soos.

following the trail of red yarn deeper into the mine shaft they found interesting plants, skeletons but what really caught them off guard were the dinosaurs trapped in tree sap.

from the famous tyrannosaurus rex to the stegosaurs, this cavern seemed to have them all.

but then they found where the pterodactyl was supposed to be, but due to the summer heat, the tree sap melted and it broke free.

they grew nervous when they found where a raptor was, its claw wiggling free.

they should probably hurry up.

alvah is with mabel when stan admits out loud that it was actually him that let waddles out and was the reason that he was snatched up in the first place.

mabel threatens stan that she'll never talk to him again if they don't find waddles, which causes an argument to break out between the two of them.

soos tries to mediate by reassuring mabel they could just continue to follow the yarn, but accidentally wound it back up into a ball.

mcgucket stands beside her when they all start arguing with each other, looking up at her when he saw that calm demeanour that she usually wore start to drop as they yelled at each other.

"Enough!" she shouts, shocking them all into silence. Not once have they heard Alvah raise her voice so angrily before that it echoed through the cavern, or with such an angered look on her face that if looks could kill they'd all be dead "I understand we're all under a certain amount of stress, but acting like children aren't going to get us anywhere!"

"Listen, we just--" Stan raises his hands, flinching back when she directed her fiery glare at him.

"Stan! It was wrong of you to lie to Mabel about what happened to Waddles. Mabel, you have a right to be angry but now isn't the time. Soos, I get that it was an accident but we're in a bit of a bind now that we've lost both the trail and the lantern. Dipper, he's doing his best so take a step back." she lets out a deep sigh, squeezing the bridge of her nose to calm her nerves "You guys are going to shut your mouths, we're going to go down that tunnel because that's where the yarn was leading to last, we're gonna find Waddles and do our best to avoid that pterodactyl because our lives damn well depend on it."

"Hey! Cheer up fellers!" her intense gaze turned to look behind her and it dropped immediately at what she saw "I fixed your lantern!"

...

...

"Oh, dear."

alvah was already running away with the kids in her arms, prioritizing their safety first while leaving the other three behind to catch up.

they're all hiding behind rocks when the tunnel they fled down led them to a cliff where a railway led to what seemed to be a nest.

the rocks they were hiding behind were shaped oddly like them.

she smacks stan when he suggested they use soos as a human sacrifice.

she glares at them all when they were going to start arguing again, that shut them right up.

the sound of oinking caught their attention and so they peek out of their hiding spot to find waddles in the nest along side a giant egg, that doesn't look good.

alvah was the first to chase after mabel when she left their hiding spot to go and retrieve waddles, carefully chasing after her as she crossed the rusting railway tracks.

she ushers the young girl to hurry but keeps close as she looked at the pile of skeletons that surrounded the nest, but kept a closer eye on the looming egg beside them.

the sudden appearance of the pterodactyl startled waddles, which caused the pig to run out of her arms in his harness and towards stan, who was still on the tracks.

they all watch in horror when the pterodactyl nose dives for them but missed and instead destroyed the tracks, causing the two of them to fall towards the wilderness below.

"Oh, no!"

"Stan!"

"Mister Pines!" Alvah slaps a hand onto her forehead when Stan disappeared into the jungle below them, she could only hope that he managed to survive that fall, but she has other things to worry about. She pushes the two children down then yanks Soos down to avoid being caught by the giant prehistoric lizard flying above them, now beginning to stress a little.

"This is just... wonderful." she says through gritted teeth, they all then gasp when Stan's hat fell into the nest "And I say it again, this is just wonderful."

"Guys, we've gotta save them!"

"McGucket, do you have an invention that can distract the pterodactyl?"

"Do I?" he pulls his hat off and starts rifling through it, when he didn't find anything he slumps down "Nope!" Alvah squeezes her temple again, the sound of crackling turned their direction towards the egg that was shaking and when it fell over they all pushed themselves as far away from it as possible.

"Aw..." Mabel cooed when a baby pterodactyl peeked out from the top of the egg, its beady little eyes staring right up at them, but Alvah got in front of Soos and the kids and kept them away.

"McGucket..." she spoke, reaching for him as well, but he just slipped through her fingers.

"Well, welcome to the world, little feller." she closes her eyes when the hatchling snapped its beak shut and proceeded to swallow him whole, she shook her head.

"He will... probably not be missed."

what stood between them and getting out of the nest was the baby pterodactyl, and with the looming threat of being eaten by either it or its mother, they were limited on options.

that was until soos suggested they get in a straight line, since a pterodactyl's vision is so far apart it won't be able to see them.

dipper doubts their theory, but with the apology and reassurance of soos, they eventually agree and get in a straight line.

alvah had to admit, she was very impressed when soos' theory was correct because the moment it laid its eyes on them, it was as if they were invisible.

"I gotta admit, that was real wise of you Soos." Alvah praised as they hid behind the rock formation once more, the young man smiles at her praise.

"Haha, thanks." a distant screech caused them to jump and peeking out of hiding spot to see what it was, they were met with the sight of... you can't be serious.

"Was that?"

"Stan?" right on the back of the pterodactyl with Waddles strapped to his chest was Stan, repeatedly punching it in the face "Waddles!"

"He's punching him in the face!" she couldn't help but whistle at the astonishing display of strength, not expecting Stan to pull of such a stunt.

"From heck's heart I stab at thee!" he shouts as he brings down both his fists to the top of the pterodactyl's head, the mighty creature lets out a screech before crashing into the cliffside and falling in its demise. Stan managed to jump off in time and pull himself up so he didn't fall with it, Alvah whistles again.

"Oh, yes! Haha!"

"You're alright, Stan?" he's panting tiredly, worn out after punching the living daylights of the flying lizard, he perks up when he hears clapping.

"I guess your story was true after all, Stan. I guess I've got to cross "watch Stan punch a dinosaur in the face" off my bingo card." he just laughs tiredly, rubbing the back of his head as she approached him.

"Ah, you're just saying that, but flattery won't get you anywhere." she knocks his shoulder, they then look down to see Mabel wearing Stan's hat, beady little eyes looking up at him "Here's your pig, kiddo." Alvah awes when Stan waves Waddle's hooves, how adorable.

"Ooo, Waddles! You saved him for me."

"Yeah, well, sometimes you just gotta... look out!"

stan takes alvah by the hand when the pterodactyl climbed back up from where it had fallen and started to chase after thme again.

they found themselves back where they had fallen in the first place and realized they had no way of getting out.

upon seeing the geysers shooting up debris, dipper points it out and says they can ride the water up.

however, when they got in the water was still.

they all scream out in terror when the pterodactyl was right before them, but soos screams "bros before dinos" and slams his fists down to get the geyser to activate and shook them straight through the room but out of the mineshaft.

mabel landed in the chandelier with waddles.

soos and dipper ended up in a piano.

stan with alvah on top of him landed in an open casket, with his hat somehow ending up on her head.

the destroyed ceiling collapsed and filled up the hole, hopefully sealing it up where the dinosaurs can't get out.

they all left that day, with alvah feeling satisfied that this experience brought stan and mabel closer, as well as soos and dipper.

she did, however, glance back towards the destroyed church before shrugging her shoulders.

she wasn't forgetting anything, right?

season 1, episode 19. dreamscaperers

"Hmm?" Alvah entered the shack and it was eerily quiet, usually, there would at least be some noise whenever she came by, especially at this hour. Entering the living room, she was met with the odd sight that was the Pines twins and Soos laying unconscious in front of Stan as he sat on the sofa, were they having a sleepover or something? She leaves the room and returns to drape blankets over their sleeping bodies and put pillows under their heads, when she reaches Stan, she throws the blanket over his lap and reaches to take his hat off when she felt something. When she removes his fez her fingers gently brush his hair out of his face, her hand recoils back when she hears a familiar laughter ring out through the room "Now that's a laughter I haven't heard in three decades." she mutters to herself, her hand reaches for his face again but this time she takes him by the chin to turn his face so she could get a good look at him.

"Ah... wha..." he muttered in his sleep, well, at least he still seemed sane. She pulls her hand back and laces her fingers together, pushing them forward to crack her knuckles then pushing her head up to crack her neck. Her fingers brush against his hair that fell over his forehead and she moves it to the side, her index finger presses against the center of his forehead as she whispers a few words under her breath and his face visibly relaxes.

"That should be enough... hopefully." she gently flicks his nose before turning on her heel to leave them be, she's done enough.

the dream demon summoned by gideon gleeful was running amok inside stan's mind in search for the code to stan's safe that secured the deed to the shack.

dipper, mabel and soos jumped into his mind to prevent that from happening but bill was just a force to be reckoned with.

unaware of how to defeat this demonic being, when dipper separated from them, bill was unleashing mabel and soos' worse nightmares.

soos' nightmare was a talking british dog man, odd.

mabel's nightmare was losing her cuteness and looking grotesque.

the two brightly colorful men, previously imagined by mabel, were erased from existence.

bill was having the time of his life bringing misfortune to these two humans.

"And now to finish you off, once and for all!" he points his finger at them, ready to blast them out of existence as well when he felt a presence he had long forgotten about. Dipper arrives after learning that they were in Stan's mind and that anything is possible, he flies up to confront Bill but instead, he was met with the demon slowly lowering his hand "Is that who I think it is?" they all look to where Bill was staring and saw in the distance an abnormal storm approaching them, the once star-filled sky was covered in dark black and red storm clouds where you could hear disoriented and agonizing screams.

"Cipher." the humans within Stan's mind tremble when the voices within the storm cloud came together and spoke, somewhat of a body formed that took the shape of a shadow and loomed over them "I didn't expect to see you here." Bill, whose body was red itself, turned back into its normal yellow color and his jolly personality returned.

"Well, well, well! Shouldn't I be saying that? You aren't one to enter a human mind, much less one so pathetic." the voice let out a deep chuckle.

"Well, my contractor states I must keep those they hold dear alive. Knowing you, you'd cripple this mind beyond saving." Bill let out a laugh as straightened his tie.

"Is that why you've been gone for thirty-odd years? Hah! I gotta thank this contractor of yours for keeping your butt out of the nightmare realm for this long!" he raised his hands in surrender when the figure raised its own hand, the outline of it glowing a bright red to charge up an attack "Hey, hey, now! Knowing that you're still around, I'm not dumb enough to mess with stuff you've claimed. I was on a job as well, and since these dummies thwarted my plans, I was dealing with them." he lowers his arm to take aim at them again but paused when the figure reached down, its own hand getting in front of them to protect them.

"Unfortunately, they're under my protection as well. So I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Dipper looks up at the figure, not expecting some supernatural being to come to their rescue. If he picked up anything from their conversation, this creature was in a contract with someone to protect Stan; to protect them. But who could it possibly be? "This form of mine may not be as powerful as my original, but I won't hesitate to erase you out of existence." they stare at each other in an unsettling silence until Bill starts to laugh so hard that a tear forms out of his singular eye.

"That's so hilarious! You and I both know that I can't be erased!" the red storm huffed.

"Yeah, but it's a threat nonetheless. So long as I am around, you will not be able to kill the humans under my protection." Bill huffed himself, he straightens his tie once more then his hat.

"Fine. Alright you kids, I'm gonna let you guys off the hook because of this old bat. Though, you might come in handy later. But know this. A darkness approaches, a day will come in the future when everything you care about will change." he tips his hat to bid them farewell "Until then, I'll be watching you. I'll be watching." and when he disappeared, a circle surrounded him that had various symbols that flashed until he was gone.

"Well he's annoying to deal with." the voice speaks, it then looks down at them, Dipper specifically "You better watch yourselves, Pines family. Now you've got a serious stalker on your hands." with that the storm started to disappear like, but Dipper reaches his hand out.

"Wait! Who are you?" the voice chuckles.

"That journal should know."

"Ah!" Dipper, Mabel and Soos wake up with a shout, shooting up from where they were lying down, they all then cheer when they realize they had awoken after such a confusion ordeal "We did it!" Mabel cheers, they then hear a groan coming from behind them and see that it was Stan waking up.

"What? Did what? What are you all doing here?" he asks confusingly, rubbing his head "And why was I dreaming of two brightly colored and radical young men?" the three of them stand up and approach him, though it was Dipper who rushed to his side first.

"Grunkle Stan, you're okay!" he exclaims, jumping up to hug him.

"What is this, a hug?"

"Nope. It's a chokehold." Dipper then maneuvers himself around him, wrapping his arm around his neck and proceed to lock him in a chokehold, causing the others to laugh as Stan struggled in his hold.

"Not bad, kid." he praises after being released from his hold, smiling at Dipper "Not bad."

"Oh?" they all perk up at the voice, looking towards the doorway, they were met with Alvah "You guys are finally awake? Were you having a sleepover, or something? I came in earlier and saw you guys sleeping, so I brought a couple blankets in so you'd be more comfortable." they all then finally noticed the blankets and pillows littered across the room.

"Alvah!" she watches in mild confusion when Mabel runs up to her, kneeling down so the young girl could leap into her arms "You won't believe how crazy our dreams were!"

"Really? I'm almost jealous I didn't join you." she lets Mabel go and watches as she lets out a breath of relief.

"I'm just glad Gideon didn't get into the safe. I really love this old shack." they all look up when the shack suddenly shock, a loud rumble being heard in the background.

"Hey, do you guys feel a..." they were all suddenly blown away when the wall exploded, Alvah was lucky she was behind Mabel so she wrapped her arms around the girl so she could shield her from the debris.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Pines family, did I wake you?" walking out of the hole in the wall was Gideon, with the safe destroyed and the deed to the shack in his hands.

"But we defeated Bill."

"Bill failed me! So I switched to plan b. Dynamite."

"What? Bill? Who... wha-- what are you guys talking about?"

"Spoilor alert, Stanford. I've got the deed! The Mystery Shack belongs to me! So, get off my property!"

season 1, episode 20. gideon rises

alvah apologizes to the pines family, not being able to house them because she lives in a small one bedroom apartment that charges her a ridiculous amount of rent.

her small apartment definitely didn't have room to house the twins and stan himself, so she was deeply sorry that she couldn't provide a roof over their heads.

she helps them however she can, whether it be giving them money or food, she'll do whatever she could for them.

she visits them when soos offers them a place at his abulita's home, and comforts stan when he was having a crisis about not being able to provide for the twins.

she isn't with them when they sneak into the "grand closing" of the mystery shack, she's watching behind the fences and cringes when they get caught and thrown out.

she was there when stan admits to the children that he couldn't take care of them, telling them that they had to go back home and that he bought them their tickets; it wasn't up for discussion.

they plead with him, even with alvah, but she couldn't do anything to help them and said it would be for the best.

"Bus fifty-two departing Gravity Falls. All aboard." the twins board the bus and take the seats at the very back where they looked out the window to see Stan, Alvah, Wendy, Grenda and Candy outside waving them goodbye.

"Sorry kids, it's for the best." he then turned around, not being able to face them after all that they've lost, Alvah placed her hand on his shoulder in a form of comfort as she looked up at the twins in the bus and gave them a sad wave goodbye. He does look back at them when the bus drives away but he quickly turns away, not being able to handle the look of sadness on their faces "What should I do now, Alvah? I've got no job, no house, I've got nothing." he looks up at her for a sign of hope but saw the conflicted look on her face.

"I... I really don't know." she muttered to herself "Everybody in this town is unwilling to see the truth that's in front of them because of the story Gideon wrote out unless we're able to help them open their eyes... there's nothing we can do about it. I am so sorry Stan, but I don't know if there's anything I can do to help you." his shoulders slump in defeat.

"I expected that." she finally looks down at him and gives him a weak smile.

"I may not be able to do anything to get you out of this, but I won't leave your side. Until you're able to get back on your feet, I'll be sure to see it through the whole way with you. I promise you, you've still got me by your side." she pats his shoulder and gives him the best smile she could muster, he looks into her eyes and despite the tears glistening in her eyes at the loss of the Pines twins, he could tell that her words were genuine "It'll take you dying to get rid of me." she let out a soft grunt when he pulled her into a hug, her eyes widened in surprise when she felt his fingers cling desperately to her blouse but she eventually relaxed as she wrapped her arms around him and leaned into him. 

"Thank you..." she gently rubs her hands up and down his back to comfort him.

"Don't mention it." when she finally managed to calm him down she bid Wendy, Grenda and Candy farewell and led Stan back to Soos' home. They were sitting on the couch with Alvah continuing to comfort him as he buried his face in his hands, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well, Stan, this is it. Rock bottom. No family, stuck watching infomercials for that is." they both briefly look at the television to see an infomercial about an "owl trowel", or whatever that is, he then picks up the Gideon pin on the coffee table "How did you do it, kid? Why are you always one step ahead? Maybe he really is psychic after..." they both wince when a high pitch ringing went off, Alvah's eye twitched as she stuck a finger in her ear and twisted it around.

"Ah, what was that?" Stan jumped when the ringing went off due to his hearing aid.

"What keeps causing that?" she confusingly looked at him when he glanced down at the pin and a sudden realization dawned on him "Wait a minute. That's it! I know Gideon's weakness!" she still didn't understand what was going on when he sprung to his feet as he took her with him, she goes to question him but when he suddenly grabbed her by her biceps what happened next stunned her to silence. She let out a muffled gasp when Stan pulled her into a kiss that didn't last more than a couple seconds, when he pulls away he let out a cheer and quickly ran out of the room, leaving her standing there in shock. Abuela entered the room when they shared that intimate moment and looked up at Alvah, their brow raised when she saw her face slowly turn red.

"Are you alright, senorita Alvah?" her face finally crumbled, that gobsmacked expression crumbled and she was left looking flustered and embarrassed and shocked and-- she slowly raised her hands to her lips, still remembering the feeling of his chapped lips against hers and the brush of his stubble "Senorita?"

"I-I'm-- I'm alright." she let out a gasp when Stan ran back into the room, taking her hand and dragging her outside to where his car was.

"Come on, toots! We got a brat to expose!" will only music to make up any noise, the car ride was relatively quiet. Stan took a quick look at Alvah and saw she was just staring ahead of them, he would have guessed she was fine by the composed look she had on but telling how red her face was, it was giving her away. He glanced down at her lips and saw they were slightly smudged from where he had guessed her, well, guess he smudged it from when he kissed her rather out of nowhere "L-Look, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or whatnot. But it was just a spur of the moment, and the sudden shot of adrenaline got me going and-- what I'm trying to say is, it doesn't have to mean anything. It doesn't..." he looked at her again and saw the way her face turned a shade of pink this time, her thumbs fiddling together.

"... I didn't, NOT, like it." she murmured, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear "You just... caught me off guard, is all. I wasn't expecting it." she narrowed her eyes on him when he stared rather smugly at her, wiggling his eyebrows a little.

"Oh? So are you saying if I were to kiss you again, you wouldn't protest?" he teased as his hands extended out to her, they were promptly smacked away.

"Don't push your luck, Stan. Just because I said I liked it, doesn't mean you'll get a taste anytime you want." they were both smirking at each other now, luckily they were at the red light or else Stan would have likely crashed the car, but Alvah noticed something in the distance behind Stan "Is that..." she started then grabbed Stan by his face and turned him around, they both squint their eyes at it.

"... Gideon?" they muttered, if either of them remembered back to the shack, Gideon was constructing a giant mechanical statue of himself and it looked like this thing could move. 

"Drive."

"Wha--"

"I said drive!" he was quick to ignore the law of the road and gun it down the road, he watched as she looked through his car and she surprisingly found a pair of binoculars... odd, she wasn't serious about finding binoculars, but Stan was a jack of all trades that just seemed to have anything and everything. He let out a shout when she threw herself over his lap so she could look out his window, he struggled to drive and went to shout at her but caught himself when she gasped "That little brat!" 

"What? What is it?!" she lowered the binoculars as a look of horror took over.

"He's got the kids!" she was thrown back into her seat when Stan took a sharp turn, she looked at him when she saw the serious look on his face.

"Buckle up, Alvah. We've got our kids to save." she was quick to buckle her belt and grab ahold of the handle above her head, gripping it rather tightly. By the time they arrive at the scene, after following it for some time and seeing it explode from a distance, Alvah's nails were digging into the handle but also the center console between herself and Stan. She was as pale as a sheet of paper when Stan came to a screeching halt, taking out the police cruiser in the process, he then throws his door open and steps out "Wait! Wait! Stop everything! I've got something to say!" he rushes ahead as Alvah shakily exits the car, using the side of it to steady her trembling legs.

"Gideon... is a liar!" she shouts weakly, now placing a hand on her chest to soothe her beating heart. She yelped when he grabbed her hand once more and dragged her over to the wreckage that was of Gideon's giant robot, she dusted herself off as they now looked at the crowd.

"You guys all think Gideon is so perfect and honest! "Oh, I could never tell a lie! I'm Gideon!" Pah!"

"He's more honest than you! And we expected more from you, Miss Alvah. To think you'd take his side." 

"Yeah! And he's psychic, too!" she chuckles softly, hand to her chest.

"That's where you're wrong, officer." both she and Stan look at each other and nod.

"How's this for psychic?" he kicks a loose panel while she hits it, and when it comes down it reveals a dozen monitors that have secretly recorded the lives of the many townsfolk of Gravity Falls "Bam! Take a good look!"

"Wait a minute! Is that me?"

"The secret ingredient to my coffee omelette is coffee!"

"And me!"

"I can verify that that birthmark is indeed disgusting."

"Hurray!" slowly everyone started pointing at monitors that had recorded them unknowingly.

"That's right!" Stan then pulls out the pin he had and pointed it at them, behind them, they got live footage of the crowd as it scanned them "These pins are hidden cameras! And my hearing aid was picking up the feedback! Who's the fraud now?" Alvah crushed the one in her hand and saw the camera lens, after the reveal, they all threw the pins to the ground and then turned their attention towards Gideon Gleeful.

"Gideon, we gave you our trust."

"You lied to us!" Gideon backed away from the crowd as they approached him with angered expressions, he then backed into the debris that was his robot and fell to the ground.

"Please, I... it's not what it looks like. What are you gonna do with me?" Deputy Durland raises his head and looks behind him.

"Tyler?" said man sniffled, wiping away the tears that started to shed.

"Get 'em... get 'em!" Alvah is giggling softly behind Stan, a hand placed on his back as she watched over his shoulder when Deputy Durland pulled out tiny handcuffs and slap them down on Gideon's wrists. She let Stan rush over to them when they started taking him over to a different police cruiser, she let out an oof when something ran into her, and when she looked down, she smiled happily when she saw that it was Dipper and Mabel.

"Are you two alright?" she asked as she knelt, opening her arms to them so they could fall into her embrace. She held onto them so tightly, her hands rubbing up and down their heads while nuzzling into their cheeks "I'm so sorry we didn't come to you in time. I'm sorry we gave up on you." they let out weak laughter, tears of relief slowly running down their cheeks.

"Don't worry, Alvah, Dipper had it all under control." Mabel says with a cheer, said boy sniffled as he pulled himself closer into Alvah's embrace "You should have seen him! He punched Gideon right in the face!" she pulled away so she could get a look at Dipper, astonished at what she just heard, and there she saw Dipper's face turn red from embarrassment.

"Oh, psh, it wasn't anything too crazy."

"Dude, you jumped off a cliff. I think that's pretty crazy." they both let out a startled cry when she ruffled their heads.

"Sounds to me you take after your uncle." she lightly punches him in the arm, winking at him "I'm proud that you stood your ground and protected your sister. I'm glad you followed your gut." Dipper's lip trembled at her words, eyes swelling up with tears again before throwing his arms around her neck.

"Thank you, Alvah." she chuckles and brings them back into a hug once more, gently carding her fingers through their hair.

"Don't mention it, kiddo." she briefly looked up and saw Stan standing in front of a camera, posing after he managed to retrieve the deed to the shack back from Gideon. She pulls away from the twins and gestures for them to be by their uncle's side, it was their moment. Stan meets her gaze as she stands in the back with the crowd, waving for her to join them, but she politely declines with a smile. As she watched them celebrate, the longer she stared the more she felt something eat up inside of her.

What was it called again?

Oh, right.

Guilt.

season 2, episode 1. scary-oke 

"Welcome to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!" the crowd starts cheering, applauding at Stan's announcement that they could finally return "We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Lil' Gideon." the mention of his name caused them to boo as Stan pulled out a makeshift doll that was of Gideon "Please, please... boo harder. But I didn't catch that pork chop all alone. These two scamps deserve some of the glory. Well, most of the glory." Toby, the local news reporter, raises what they believe to be a camera. 

"Smile for the camera." Stan deadpans at him. 

"Your camera's a cinderblock, Toby." the man immediately sulks. 

"I just want to be a part of things." Shandra Jimenez, the real news reporter, gets in front of them with an actual camera. 

"Smile for a real camera." 

"Everyone say "something stupid." 

"Something stupid." the flash of the camera goes off after they do funny poses "And don't forget to come to the after party tonight at eight." Mabel smiled as she knelt to grab a karaoke machine from below her. 

"We're doing a karaoke bonanza, people. Lights! Music! Enchantment! And an amazing karaoke performance by our family band, Love Patrol Alpha!" Dipper and Stan are immediately reluctant, not remembering about agreeing to do something like that. 

"Oh, I don't know about that." 

"I would never agree to that ever." 

"Too late, I wrote your names on the list." she then holds the sheet to her face, eyebrows wiggling up at Stan "I even got Alvah to agree." this caused him to flinch and look out into the crowd to try and find her, shoulders slumping a little when he wasn't able to spot her. Wendy bursts into the room with an airhorn and gets them to follow her outside so they could buy tickets to the party, when it was just them in the gift shop, Stan let out a sigh of relief with a smile on his face. 

"Ha! The town loves us. We finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet. Everything is finally going my way." 

"Hey, Grunkle Stan," Stan let out a hum, looking down at Dipper "now that we have a moment, I've been meaning to ask for my journal back." Stan raised a brow. 

"What? Journal?" he pats himself for it then knelt down and lifted up the counter to pull the journal out from underneath it "Oh, you mean this old thing? It was so boring I couldn't even finish it." he then thinks back to how he photocopied the pages, he shakes his head as he hands it back to the young boy. 

"Wait, you're just gonna give it to me? Just like that?" 

"What else do you want? A kiss on the cheek?" Dipper was quick to flee with Mabel. 

"... I wouldn't mind a kiss on the--" 

"Not gonna happen." 

"What about me?" turning his head, he was met with Alvah, who was leaning against the counter with her chin resting on the back of her hands while she was kicking her feet back and forward. He felt his lips crease into a smile once his eyes landed on her, she winked at him "Think you can spare me a peck?" she giggled when he pulled at his tie to loosen it. 

"Thought you'd never ask." she tilted her head to the side and giggled again when she felt his lips press against her cheek, they were both laughing like high school students on their first date. Since the day where Stan kissed her they've become a lot more open about affection, there isn't a definite label for them, but they're more openly flirtatious than they were in the beginning "So, Mabel tells me you're doing a song for karaoke tonight." he laughed when her face dropped. 

"I am?" she then looks off, scratching her cheek in thought "I don't ever remember agreeing to something like that." she hums softly when he leans against the counter, their faces inches away from each other. 

"Well, I'm sure you've got the voice of an angel." 

"Mm? Then you better kill it, Love Patrol Alpha." she snickered softly when his face turned a shade of pink, she reached forward and pinched his cheek "Your adorable little niece told me about that one." she laughed when he smacked her hand away, pushing himself back and rubbing his cheek. 

"That ain't happening. Nope. Nah dah. Never." she walks out from behind the counter and drapes herself over his back. 

"Oh, come on. You don't wanna disappoint Mabel, do you? Do it for her." he lets her hang off of him but their attention goes over to Soos, who is currently looking out the window. 

"Hey, Mr. Pines, what's that code word I'm supposed to yell when I see a government vehicle?" the moment Stan heard "government", Alvah was thrown off him as he rushed over to the window. 

"Wait, what? Government vehicle?" the moment his eyes landed on said vehicle he quickly pulled himself back inside and quickly closed the windows, he then rushed over to the intercom and spoke into it "The Mystery Shack is now closed. Everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly." Soos helps Alvah to her feet just as Dipper and Mabel run back into the room. 

"Grunkle Stan, what's happening?" 

"Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop." Alvah is ushering the kids to the side as Stan paces back and forth, Wendy and Soos watch in concern when the doorbell rings and Stan approaches the door. 

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen. What can I get you? Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?" the two men at the door pull out government badges, each displaying their ID. 

"My name is Agent Powers. This is Agent Trigger. We're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town." 

"Activity." 

"Mysterious activity in the Mystery Shack? You got to be joking." 

"I assure you I am not. I was born with a rare disorder that makes me physically incapable of experiencing humor." Stan lets out a nervous laugh "I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth. Now if you'll excuse us, we're conducting an investigation." they then brush past Stan, who started to sweat nervously as they searched the gift shop. Alvah was holding both Dipper and Mabel by the shoulders as they watched the two men look around but she let out a gasp when Dipper slipped away from her. 

"Did you guys say you're investigating the mysteries of this town?" 

"That information is classified. But, yes. Look, between you and me, I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town. We're just one small lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery." Dipper's face brightened. 

"Are you kidding me? I'm investigating the exact same thing. I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we could crack the case." the agents share a look. 

"If you have evidence of these claims, we should talk." Agent Powers starts as he pulls out a business card. 

"We can talk right now. Please, please, come in. I have so much to show you!" it was at that moment when Stan and Alvah interfered, Dipper didn't expect Alvah to get in between him and the agents and push him backward while shaking her other hand in front of Agent Powers, a casual but warm smile on her face as Stan got behind her to usher Dipper away as she captured his attention. 

"Isn't his imagination just something? If you ask me, there isn't anything weird going on around here. Probably just the locals playing pranks and whatnot. You shouldn't believe the rumors that circulate around this quiet little town." both she and Agent Powers stand up straight, both their eyes locked on each other "There is no mysterious activity going on around here. Stuff like that just... doesn't exist. If I were you, I'd forget all about this town and get as far away as possible." the two of them just stare at each other, neither breaking eye contact until Stan got in front of her. 

"She's right, agents. Kid has an overactive imagination, and, like, a sweating problem." 

"Zing!" Mabel shouts from the background and Alvah giggles. 

"Paranormal town stuff, like Alvah here said, it's just part of the gift shop lore. Sells more tickets, you know." he snaps his fingers and Soos proceeds to put bumper stickers on their chests and headbands on their heads. 

"We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way." Agent Powers leaves while Agent Trigger grabs a couple of bobblehead dolls his arms can carry. 

"I'm confiscating this for evidence." 

"Smart move." she let out a breath of relief when they left, having them around was going to be a pain in the-- 

"Wait! No, wait! We have so much to talk about." they were already gone by the time Dipper reached the door, but Stan placed his hand on Dipper's shoulder and turned him around. 

"Hold it, kiddo. Trust me, the last thing you want around here at a party is cops." he then takes the business card from Dipper's hands "I'm confiscating that card. And how's about you go be a normal kid? Flirt with a girl, or steal a pie off a windowsill." 

"But Grunkle Stan, you don't understand." 

"And don't go talking to those agents." Dipper looks at Alvah for help, eyes pleading for her to talk to Stan and convince him, but she just gives him an apologetic look with a shrug and follows after him. She was the last person he expected to side with Stan, well, not really, but whenever it came to anything that Dipper was passionate about or set his mind to, she was always the first one to encourage him. But weirdly enough, she was openly against the idea of those government agents being around, going so far as to claim that there was nothing weird going around in Gravity Falls. It was hours later and Alvah was helping set up for the after-party, helping Mabel set up her karaoke machine. 

"You look cute, Mabel." the young girl giggled and did a little twirl. 

"Thanks, Alvah." she then gestures for her to step aside, pulling out some sort of glittery gun, she then witnessed her shoot confetti out of it at Stan "Boom! Well, the confetti cannon works. And the karaoke machine has all the best songs. "We built this township on rock and roll", "Danger lane to highway town", "T8king over midnight" by &NDRA." Alvah hummed softly, what old songs. 

"Listen, kid, you do not want to hear this voice singing. Trust me." 

"Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn't about sounding good. It's about sounding terrible, together." 

"Together." Alvah echoes before letting out a grunt when Mabel hugs her face, Mabel is standing on the stage so she had the elevation to do so. 

"And Alvah wants to see you sing as well, don't you?" they look at each other and she gives a cheeky smile. 

"Scared?" Stan scowls at them, he opens his mouth to say something but instead closed it and stomped off, the two laugh "Surely he won't back down from this fight." she hummed softly when Mabel kissed her cheek. 

"You're just the best, Alvah." she winks. 

"I know." she stands off to the side as guests start pulling up, she greets the few people who walked past her and quietly enjoys the party. Soos and Mabel were having fun at the party, Stan was outside at the admission stand, but she couldn't spot Wendy or Dipper anywhere. 

"Hey, toots!" she perks up and looked over to see Stan approaching her, she smiled and waved her hand "Have you seen Wendy and Dipper anywhere?" she shook her head with a shrug of her shoulders. 

"Nope, was just questioning that." she looked towards the crowd and spotted Mabel, she lifted her fingers to her lips and blew on them "Mabel!" the girl paused in her movements and looked to where she heard the sound of her name when she spotted Alvah she grinned until she noticed she was waving her over, so she quickly rushed over. 

"What's up?" 

"Have you seen your brother anywhere?" she snorts. 

"Yeah, he went inside with Wendy." she then wiggles her eyebrows at them "Hopefully they're not doing you know what." they both look at each other. 

"I hope they're not doing you know what." Stan rushes inside, Alvah snorts at the panicked look he had on his face and ushers Mabel back to enjoy the party. After a couple of minutes, she only sees Wendy, and still no sign of Dipper, perhaps he wasn't feeling up for a party after what happened that morning. She should probably apologise to him about not having his back, but it's for the best if government officials are left in the dark about what's going on in this quie-- she let out a whoa when she suddenly felt rumbling, she then glances over at the food bar and her eyes widened when she saw the bowl of punch splashing around as the earth shook. 

"I think it's an earthquake!" Wendy shouts as she blows an airhorn "Hey, everybody! We got to get out of here!" as soon as she announces that everyone starts fleeing back to their cars, Alvah tries pushing past the crowd to get to Mabel but is unfortunately carried off with the panicked citizens. It was only when the crowd dispersed that she was able to run back to the shack to check up on the kids when she saw... zombies? 

"What the...?" she muttered under her breath as she saw the zombies surround the shack, she panicked when she couldn't find Dipper or Mabel anywhere, what made it worse was she saw a zombified Soos, who was now looking at her. 

"Hey, dude. Would it be cool if me and my new buds eat your brains?" she gave him a scrutinizing stare, gaze hardening the longer she stared at him "I'm not hearing a no." 

"Soos!" she yelped when they started approaching her so she was quick to run away, she tried opening the doors but they were locked so she went to try and find an open window but they too were closed and latched shut. She didn't have any time to properly find a way inside because the zombies were beginning to surround her, she backed away from the window then rushed forward and jumped through the window, breaking through the glass while shielding her face from any broken glass. She let out a sigh when her clothes got caught in the broken shards and tore a little, but that was the least of her worries, what she needs is to find those ki-- she gasped when a zombie appeared out of nowhere, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her into a door hard enough that it broke and they both fell in. She managed to kick the offender off of her but it was crawling back with the determination to eat her face, she looked around the closet for anything to defend herself and her face lit up at what she found "Oh, Stan, you shouldn't have." back to Dipper, Mabel, and Waddles, the two of them were cornered in the gift shop with nowhere else to go. 

"Dipper, isn't there something in the journal about defeating zombies?" 

"No! There's nothing in here about weaknesses. This can't be happening. I wanted answers so badly that I put everyone in danger. Now we're toast. It's all my fault and no one can save us." Dipper gasped when he was grabbed by the zombie and pulled off the ground "No, Mabel! I'm sorry!" 

"Dipper!" he screams as he's faced with a groaning zombie but is suddenly released when the zombie was hit in the head, he falls to the ground and Mabel was quick to rush to his side, looking up at their savior they are met with a disheveled looking Stan. He was missing his fez hat, his tie was loosely hanging from his neck, he had several tears in his suit and zombie blood splattered over him. 

"You two, attic. Now!" 

"Grunkle... Grunkle Stan?" 

"I said now!" they didn't need to be told twice, they quickly ran past him to get upstairs while he swung a bat down on the wave of zombies that surrounded him "Alright you undead jerks, ready to die twice?" he's panting as he's backed into the living room, taking down a few more zombies "The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is me! Take that, and that!" it was only when the kids were safely upstairs he stops to take out a couple more zombies, shoving the bat into a zombie's mouth and went it snapped in two he punched it wearing his brass knuckles "Anyone else want a piece?!" he punches down a couple more just as the front door is busted down, he dodges a couple of swipes but was nicked in the stomach, he pulls his fist but stopped when he heard a shout. 

"Get down!" he quickly falls back into the staircase just as the zombie's brains are blown right out of its head, turning his head, he was met with Alvah just as disheveled as he was. Her dress was torn and was covered in dirt and zombie blood, and her hair was still tied in a loose braid but some strands of her hair were sticking out, what did it was the double-barreled shotgun she held followed by the shotgun shell strap wrapped around her body "I'm gonna get that kid, for sure." she pants, she let out a grunt when one of the zombies that was on the ground grabbed at the end of her dress so she pointed the barrel at its head and shot it dead. 

"Alvah, are you--" he sputtered out his words when she grabbed her dress and tore it down the side, spreading her legs a little wider for more leg room. 

"That's much better." she muttered as she flipped the latch to open the barrel of the shotgun, she flicked the empty casings out and slipped two new shells down the barrel before snapping it shut and pointing at a new group of zombies "Where are the kids?!" 

"Um, um-- uh, they're, uh--" 

"Stan!" she snaps, shooting a few zombies at once and quickly reloading "Now is not the time to gawk! Where are the kids?!" she asks again, he shakes his head to get a hold of himself. 

"Right, they're upstairs!" she nods. 

"Good! Let's go join them." they stand back to back as they punch and blast the zombies away, he pushes her up the staircase first then follows after her, they look at the father clock and proceed to push it down the first flight of stairs to create some distance before rushing up towards the attic. The door is closed when they reach it, she's standing behind Stan as he bangs on the door to open it, keeping an eye out for any zombies that could appear anywhere and when he finally got the door open she quickly pushed him inside and shut the door behind him. 

"Grunkle Stan, Alvah!" he gently pushes her to the side as he grabs a chair and lodges it beneath the door handle, Dipper lets out a nervous laugh as he approached the two tired adults "Well, at least, you can't deny magic exists anymore, right?" the two of them take a second before letting out sighs. 

"Kid, I've always known." 

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Alvah stands behind Stan as she turns around, a guilty look on her face. 

"I'm not an idiot, Dipper. Of course, this town is weird and the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous." Alvah let out a scream when a hand broke through the door and grabbed her by her hair, Stan punches her free and grabs her when she fell forward, pushing her backward alongside the kids "I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it, to try and protect you from it." when another zombie burst through the window she let out a growl and shot it right back out, she and Stan peek out and grimace when the shack was surrounded "It looks like I didn't lie well enough." Dipper then looked at Alvah, waiting for her explanation. 

"Ignorance is bliss, Dipper. Some people just don't need to know about all this supernatural stuff, and the less I know the better it does for my mental well-being." she fell to the floor and leaned against Mabel's bed, the young girl hurried to her side, and held her arm when she started rubbing her scalp where she was yanked back by the hair "I know it's not ideal to ignore it, but if I think about it, I find it hard to sleep at night. And if you tell the wrong people, welp, I guess tonight is a great example of that." Mabel was now applying rainbow band-aids to the open cuts on both Stan and Alvah as they try thinking of ways to get out of their current predicament. 

"What do we do? What do we do?" Waddles takes cover under Mabel's bed beside Alvah, who rests her hand on top of the pig's head to comfort him. 

"Normally, the journal would help us, but there's nothing in there about defeating zombies." Dipper says as he opens the book and flips through pages before showing them, and under the UV light, there they see words written on the blank page. 

"Wait, wait, wait, the text. It's glowing in the black light." 

"What?" he turned it around and under the light as he flipped through pages he saw words written in some sort of invisible ink "All this time I thought I knew all the journal secrets, but they're written in some kind of invisible ink." 

"Invisible ink." Dipper quickly goes back to the chapter about the zombies and sees instructions on how to defeat the zombies. 

"This is it! "Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect three-part harmony." Three-part harmony? How can we create that? I have a naturally high-pitched scream." 

"I can make noises with my body. Sometimes intentionally." 

"Whoop, whoop!" they looked towards Alvah, who was bumping her hands in the air "Love patrol alpha!" she cheered then giggled, trying to make light of the situation despite the possibility that their faces could get eaten, Mabel grinned and snaps her fingers. 

"Exactly." they all find themselves standing on the ledge of the second floor window, well, Alvah was casually sitting on the edge as she leaned against the karaoke machine while Stan and Dipper stood as stiff as a board holding microphones, Mabel was the one that looked like she was having the time of her life despite her life being in danger "Zombies and gentlemen, I'm Mabel, they're Dipper and Stan and together, we are Love Patrol Alpha!" 

"Whoop, whoop!" Alvah goes off in the background, she laughed when Stan glared at her to be silent. 

"I never agreed to that name." Dipper says quickly. 

"Hit it!" Alvah quite literally hits the top of the karaoke machine and "Taking over Midnight" by &NDRA starts playing, she giggles softly when Stan squints at the screen. 

"Uh, Mabel, our lives may not be worth this." Dipper pursed his lips and tried getting into the beat. 

"Friday night, and we're gonna party 'til dawn. Don't worry daddy, I've got my favorite dress on-- Mabel, this is stupid." she ignores him and sings the next part. 

"We roll into the party, the boys are looing our way. We just keep dancing, we don't care what they say. And all the boys are ganging up in my face--" Mabel let out a startled scream when a zombie climbed up, Stan pulled her back just as Alvah stepped forward and shot it off. 

"Come on you guys, you have to sing together or it won't work." she urged while reloading the shotgun, Dipper and Stan swallow their pride. 

"Boys are a bore, let's show 'em the door." 

"We're taking over the dance floor." Alvah couldn't help but smile when they all started singing together "Oo-oo, girls do what we like. Oo-oo, we're taking over tonight. Oo-oo, girls do what we like. Oo-oo, we're taking over tonight. We're queens of the disco!" Alvah laughs and claps her hands but notices that it's actually working, looking over at the horde of zombies, one by one their heads started exploding. 

"You're doing it! Keep it up!" as she watched them she saw that they were actually having a good time, perhaps it's because no ones around that Dipper and Stan aren't embarrassed. 

"Oo-oo, girls do what we like. Oo-oo, we're taking over tonight." 

"Taking over tonight!" she quickly pulled Dipper back when a zombie climbed up once more and punched it in the face, knocking its head right of its neck and it landing in a bowl of soda, she winced and shook her hand. 

"Ow." she let out a whoa when Stan pulled her close and that was when she noticed that all the zombies were dead. 

"Thank you! We'll be here all night!" 

"Deal with it, zombie idiots!" 

"Pines! Pines! Pines! Pines!" Alvah only laughed, they were back inside and she managed to find Stan's fez hat and placed it on top of his head, he thanked her and adjusted it himself just as Dipper started apologizing. 

"I'm sorry about this, guys. I totally ruined everything." 

"Dipper, are you kidding me? I got to sing karaoke with my two favorite people in the world. No party could ever top that." she stands back as Stan crouches down to Dipper and Mabel's level, hands on their shoulders. 

"Kids, listen, this town is crazy. So you need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold onto that spooky journal as long as you promise me you'll only use it for self-defense and not go looking for trouble." 

"Okay, as long as you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town." 

"Promise." 

"Promise." Alvah pulled a face when she noticed both Dipper and Stan cross their fingers behind their backs, she sighed while shaking her head, Stan then let out a sigh. 

"Man, we have got a lot of zombie damage to clean up. Where's my handyman anyway?" they look up when they see Soos enter the room, still zombified, Alvah aimed the shotgun at him while Stan picked up a chair "Holy moses!" 

"Wait!" they both paused and looked down at Dipper to see him pull out the journal "There's a page in here about curing zombification. It'll take a lot of formaldehyde." 

"Ooo, and cinnamon." 

"Come on, Soos, let's fix you up." Mabel takes the chair from Stan and starts pushing Soos away, scolding him when he kept muttering about brains, with Dipper following behind and leaving Stan and Alvah alone in the living room. Stan looks at Alvah and saw she was rocking back and forth on her feet with her hands behind her back, he looked away when she spared him a glance and whistled. 

"So..." he cleared his throat, placing a hand on the back of his neck "you were pretty cool back there, with the shotgun and all." she gave a nervous laugh herself. 

"Hehe, yeah. I found it in one of your closets when a zombie fell into me, I got real lucky." she says as she tosses the gun on the sofa "You looked pretty cool as well, punching those zombies left and right. I think I hurt my hand a little." she admits as she waves her hand once more, her knuckles a shade of red after punching the head off the zombie. 

"Well, your hands are pretty delicate, toots." Stan says as he takes her hand into his, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles while blowing cool air onto them "Thanks for protecting the kids." she gave him a reassuring smile. 

"There isn't anything I wouldn't do for those kids." she then bumps her hip into his "Including you, Stan." he just laughs, his eyes then landed on the karaoke machine that Mabel left behind. 

"Well, sweetheart, you heard my magnificent singing voice, now it's time I heard yours. You even got a performance out of me." she scoffed jokingly, placing a hand on both her hip and chest. 

"And you think that's enough to convince me?" 

"... pretty please?" her resolve broke a little at the plea, he watched her raise her leg before kicking the karaoke machine and a song started to play, she raised a brow at the song but shrugged, nonetheless. He watches as she grabs a bundle of her dress, lifting a hand to her chest and lowering her head to curtsy. Stan couldn't help but chuckle and return the formal greeting with his own awkward little bow, she giggled softly before reaching a hand forward for him to take just as she started singing.

Mabel returns to the living room, leaving Soos in Dipper's care, upon realizing she left her karaoke machine and went to retrieve it, only to pause and hide in the hallway when she heard music followed by the most beautiful voice singing alongside laughter. Peeking into the room, she gasped softly when she saw Alvah and Stan dancing alone in the living room, he held one of her hands above her as he spun her around then pulled her into his arms, her back to his chest as he held her close. She looked up at him over her shoulder and continued to sing, turning around to throw her arms over his shoulders and pull herself closer. Mabel covered her mouth when she saw Stan kneel down a little to grab Alvah but her waist and hoist her up, she planted her hands down on his shoulders to stable herself and let out a squeal as Stan spun her around before gently tossing her up, catching her bridal style in his arms as he continued to spin, she giggled as she kicked her feet and threw her arms around his neck and hid her face in the crook of his neck. 

"Ooo, Dipper's going to flip when I tell him this." she whispered under her breath before running back to where she left Dipper, missing when Alvah pulled herself out of his shoulder and how both herself and Stan stared into each other's eyes. 

"Try once more, like you did before. Sing a new song, chiquitita~" they continued to stare at each other as the song slowed down before she let out a gasp when Stan laughed just as the music started picking up again, he placed her down and grabs her hands so they could spin around. Since the song had ended she was just laughing as they spun around like idiots until they collapsed on the ground, panting softly and staring at the ceiling "That... was really fun." Stan chuckled from beside her. 

"It was." he stared at her from where they lay, he looked at her and saw that one of her hands was resting on her chest while the other lay motionless between them. They were already so close when they were dancing together, he held her close to the point he could feel her breathing against his neck and the way her heart was beating like crazy, hell, he held her hand the entire duration they were dancing, so why the hell was he getting nervous now? Was it because the adrenaline was finally dying? He taps his fingers against his chest as he continues to stare up at the ceiling before going for it, Alvah flinched at the sudden contact and looked down to see Stan placed his hand on top of hers. Her eyes trailed up his body and they saw the way his eyes refused to move away from the ceiling but she could see the way his neck to the tips of his ears had tinged a shade of red, he gulped when he felt her hand move from under his but instead of taking it back, she simply twisted her hand around so she could intertwine their fingers together and give his hand a squeeze. 

"All you had to do was ask, Stan." she giggled quietly when she saw him turn his head away from her, throwing his other arm over his face to hide the embarrassment flush across his face. 

"Shut up." she hummed softly, but that feeling of guilt started to eat at her once again as she looked away. 

season 2, episode 2. into the bunker 

only appears at the beginning with stan, helping guide the construction workers where stuff goes. 

season 2, episode 3. the golf war 

joins them to play mini golf and is pretty good at it, that is until she hits the golf balls too hard and sends it flying. 

stan laughed at her when accidentally hit someone in the head. 

mabel gave her a sticker that said "be PAWsitive". 

she'll take what she can get. 

she comforts mabel when pacifica insults her once more but couldn't help but burst into laughter when mabel fires back and calls her a "walking one-dimensional bleached blonde valley girl stereotype". 

she was so proud. 

season 2, episode 4. sock opera 

mabel is begging on her hands and knees for alvah's help with her sock puppet show, knowing how good the older woman is when it comes to sewing. 

she has to pick mabel up to get the girl to cease, mostly because they were in public and it was making alvah look bad. 

she laughed at the sock puppet mabel made of her, she thought the likeliness was almost uncanny. 

as the days grew closer to mabel's puppet show, she noticed with each passing day dipper's desperation to unlock the laptop they found in that underground bunker was getting to him. 

she told the boy to take it easy, that the laptop was going anywhere and he could put his focus on it when he isn't so busy helping his sister. 

she found it sweet that he was helping her in the first place. 

"Oh, hi, Dipper. There you are." Alvah was with Wendy and Soos, planning on going to the theatre with them since Stan's car was full with the girls and the stuff for her puppet show, they walk out of the shack and find Dipper standing outside. 

"What up, dude?" Wendy greets, Alvah herself smiles at the boy as she waves. 

"You excited for your sister's play?" she felt a chill run up her spine when they approached him, she patted her chest and looked behind her but ignored the feeling when she didn't see anything "You're not catching a ride with Stan and the others? Guess they didn't wait for you." 

"We're headed to the theatre." 

"Need a ride, Dipper?" the boy let out a laugh. 

"Anything for you, Red." Alvah raised a brow at the odd nickname Dipper gave Wendy, she decided to ignore it and takes a seat in the backseat of Soos' truck, leaving Soos, Wendy and Dipper in the front. They arrived at the theatre and had taken their seats, Stan was to her left with Soos, Dipper and Wendy to her right, and the entire time she kept her eye on Dipper because he was just acting weird "Ah, nothing like the theatre, huh, toots? Hey, Soos, want to hear the exact time and date of your death?" Soos laughs. 

"Okay." she opens her mouth to say something but then Mabel appeared, looking happy upon seeing them. 

"Hey, guys, you all made it." 

"Are you kidding me? I would never miss, whatever this is." Alvah elbows him in his side. 

"By the by, Mabel, where'd you put my journal again?" 

"I used it as a prop for the big wedding scene. I still need a reverend though." 

"Hey, what if I play the reverend? I mean, someone's got to hold that journal, right?" 

"Great, let's go." that feeling of a chill running up her spine returned again the moment Mabel ran off with Dipper to get behind stage, she pulled a face but instead of doing anything she crossed her arms and leaned back into her seat. Stan looked down at her and saw the way her face twisted with concern, she let out a hum when he elbowed her. 

"You alright, toots?" she let out a sigh. 

"I don't know. Dipper's just been acting... off? He's become so desperate to find the author of that journal of his that he's losing himself, you know? I'm worried about him. Maybe you should talk to him that this summer is not just about uncovering the mysteries of this town but about having fun, it's like he's almost forgotten." Stan let out a huff. 

"Yeah, yeah, maybe I shouldn't have given him that journal back, but uncovering mysteries is how that kid has fun. He's just got to stop taking it so seriously." he then places his hand on her shoulder, causing her to look up at him "Alright, I'll talk to him and try and get him to settle." she smiles. 

"Thanks, Stan." he chuckles. 

"If I didn't know it, you're acting more and more like the kid's guardian than me." she laughed and shoved him gently. 

"Oh, how could I replace you, Stan? You're their great uncle Stanford." they're both laughing but quiet down when the play begins. 

alvah, no matter how confusing the play was, was quite impressed with the story and found herself applauding throughout the night. 

she made a few comments here and there but other than that she was enjoying herself. 

it was during the wedding scene when everything seemed to fall apart. 

alvah let out a gasp when mabel and dipper fell from above and crashed onto the stage, she was confused as to why they were fighting over the journal. 

she side-eyed stan when he pulled out a camera and started recording them, saying how he could "sell this". 

she pushed him off his seat. 

the "fight" lasted a couple seconds with mabel slamming the journal on dipper's face before running around in circles and dipper eventually tiring himself out then collapsing. 

soon enough they were all ducking when a box of pyrotechnics went off and fired off into the crowd, one even landing in the box of sock puppets and exploding all over the stage. 

the stage was promptly destroyed. 

season 2, episode 5. soos and the real girl 

only really appears to tell soos that he's a really swell guy and that he'll find a girl perfect for him. 

smacks stan when he says he doesn't like soos' chances. 

is also really creeped out about "old goldie". 

season 2, episode 6. little gift shop of horrors 

doesn't really appear in this episode. 

season 2, episode 7. society of the blind eye 

only appears at the end of when the children, soos and wendy return with old man mcgucket after their fiasco with the society of the blind eye. 

after discovering that mcgucket was the owner of the laptop they suspected that he was the author of the journals. 

so they went on this whole adventure to the museum so they could recover his memories. 

that was when they stumbled upon the cult that was "the society of the blind eye", who were erasing people's memories of the paranormal activities that were going on. 

when they were finally able to defeat this club of freaks and get a hold of mcgucket's memories, that's when they discovered his past and his connection with alvah. 

"Alright, McGucket. Are you ready to see your memories? Find out who you really are?" Dipper asks as he switches the machine on that allows them to play back the memories that were unrightfully stolen, McGucket doesn't look all too thrilled, or nervous about what he is going to see. 

"I'm not so sure. What if I don't like what I see?" Mabel places her hand encouragingly on his arm. 

"We've come all this way. Go on." with his memory tube in hand, he approaches the machine and slots it into place. The television spurs to life and they wait a couple seconds before it reveals a younger less crazy version of McGucket. 

"My name is Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, and I wish to unsee what I have seen." they all gasp, finally seeing who exactly the old man-- or rather, Fiddleford McGucket really was "For the past year, I have been working as an assistant for a visiting researcher. He has been cataloguing his findings about Gravity Falls in a series of journals. I helped him build a machine which he believed had the potential to benefit all mankind, but something went wrong. I decided to quit the project. But I lie awake at night, haunted by the thoughts of what I've done. I believe I have invented a machine that can permanently erase these memories from my mind. Test subject one. Fiddleford." 

"It worked! I can't recall a thing." 

"I call it "The Society of the Blind Eye. We will help those who want to forget by erasing their bad memories." 

"Today, I came across a colony of little men. Very disturbing. I would like to forget seeing this." 

"I accidentally hit another car in town today. I feel terri-bibble. Terrible. I've been forgetting words lately. I wonder if there are any negative side effects..." 

"I saw something in the lake, something big!" 

"My hair's been a-fallin' out, so I got this hat from a scarecrow. Hey, are my pants on backwards?" 

As they watched the days go by with each clip, they saw how Fiddleford descended into madness and by the time the days reached ??? he had become the senile old man McGucket they all knew today who had laughed maniacally at the end while spouting out senseless words, the screen was filled with static. The room fell into silence as they looked at the once renowned inventor become a shell of his former self. 

"Oh, McGucket, I'm so sorry." 

"Aw, hush. You kids helped me get my memories back, just like you said." 

"But did you want those memories back?" 

"After all these years, I finally know who I am. Maybe I messed up in the past, but now that I seen what happened, I can begin to put myself together again." he reaches for his memory tube when the TV spurred to life again, causing them to jump back in surprise. It wasn't over yet? McGucket takes a step back and watches the TV once more and they heard the audio first before they saw any visual of what was going on, but from what they could tell, whoever McGucket was talking to he didn't seem all too pleased. 

"Get away from me! I don't want you anywhere near me!" they hear a clatter followed by glass shattering as Fiddleford tried getting as far away from whoever was with him "I know what you really are! I know you're just a wolf in sheep's clothing! You're a monster amongst us lesser beings!" they hear a sigh. 

"Fiddleford, you're being overdramatic." the voice was of a man that they could not recognize, it was hard to determine who it could possibly be "I'm not here to hurt you, I just wanna apologize for what happened back then." 

"So, you're acknowledging the fact that you did it on purpose!" 

"No, I didn't! You just appeared unannounced and caught me off guard! How on earth is that my fault?! It's not my fault you saw something you weren't supposed to see. Now look at you, you've started some... some, some cult!" 

"It ain't no cult! We're helping people, you see? We're erasing the bad things that people don't wanna remember." 

"And what if you're erasing too much? What if people start to forget who they are? And what about you? I know you've been using that thing one too many times on yourself to the point you're forgetting who you are. Do you even remember what you were doing in Gravity Falls in the first place?" 

"U-Uh, I was... I-I was--" the sound of a slam caused Fiddleford to shriek, they all then noticed how a picture started to form and at first all they saw was a still somewhat decent-looking Fiddleford looking absolutely terrified as he stared at the looming individual who was slowly approaching him. 

"What happens when you start to forget about your wife? And your son? Do you even remember their names? What if they come up from California and they see something they weren't supposed to see? Are you going to erase their minds as well? How selfish can you be?" the individual takes another step just as the picture is formed and their eyes widened when they saw a pair of uniquely colored red eyes that held nothing but disappointment "How do you think he'll feel if he saw the state you've fallen into?" he didn't flinch when he pointed the gun at him, his gaze only hardened. 

"Don't-- Don't come any closer or else I-I'll... I'll use this on you!" he rolled his eyes. 

"Yeah, you don't have the guts to shoot me with that thing." Fiddleford's shaking got worse with each step he took "Now put that thing down before you hur--" their eyes widened when he shot him with the memory gun, even he was surprised that he actually shot him, he stumbled back in surprise and fell into the table behind him while clutching his head. They saw a wave of confusion wash over his face as he looked around before looking back over at where Fiddleford was, when he saw the way, he was panting as he stared at him, his face hardened with anger. 

"I-I... I warned you." he let out a shout when he lunged at him to smack the gun out of his hand. He brought his arms up to shield his face from what he believed he was going to attack him, but instead he let out a frustrated huff. 

"Fine then, have it your way. I'm only checking up on you as a request from your old friend, but I have no obligation to actually care for you." turning around and despite the TV failing to capture a high-quality image they were able to distinguish a fairly young man dressed in rather odd clothes, it was someone that they didn’t recognize from anywhere. Not from the town, not a tourist who could have visited the Mystery Shack. It was a total stranger to them. Who were they? They mentioned a friend. Could that friend the author or someone else entirely? "Perhaps when you come to your senses, I'll be nice and fill in the few blanks of what you can't remember. But that'll be until then." the video cuts off and they're left in silence once more, they all look at McGucket and see him shaking. 

"I... I remember him. I still can't remember everything exactly, but... but he's one of the reasons I became like this. But he didn't do it intentionally, I think?" 

"Does that mean whoever the man was had his memory erased? Does that mean his memory is somewhere here as well? Maybe if we find it, we might get some more answers." 

"Oh, you kids can go do that without me. I've got some remembering to do." they were hesitant to let him go but he reassured them that he’d be fine, he took a pair of glasses he found on the TV and left them to search for the mystery man’s memory tube. 

Meanwhile... 

"Stan... Stan, s-stop it!" Stan laid on top of her, laughing alongside her as he kissed up her neck and all over her face, his hands holding her by her waist as she did her best to push him away by his face and shoulder "I'm ticklish! Hahaha, stop it!" he only continued his attack just so he could continue to hear the melody that was her laughter, his grip on her tightening as she squirmed underneath him. 

"Nah uh, sweetheart. I don't know how long those kids are gonna be, but I wanna spend the rest of my night with you." she smiled up at him, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck and pulling herself up so she could press her lips against his and he welcomed it warmly. His hand moved up to her lower back to lift her closer to him so she tightened her hold around his neck, they both pulled apart to take a breath and before they could dive in for more, they heard the front doorbell ring. They break apart and look to where the door is, waiting breathlessly for it to ring again, they think they're in the clear and go to continue until it rings again "Urgh, dammit! I'm gonna strangle whoever's at the door." she giggled softly when he lifted himself off of her, grumbling to himself as he went to answer the door. 

"Go easy on them." she teased, she hums to herself as she waits for Stan to tell whoever it was to get lost but jumped when he instead shouted for her. 

"Alvah, it's for you!" she raised a brow, oh? She shrugged her shoulders and pushed herself to her feet, cleaning herself up a bit before leaving the room. She had her calm and kind demeanor as she peeked over Stan's shoulder, greeting whoever it was with a smile but her face twitched a little when she saw who exactly it was "How old man McGucket knew you were here, I'll never know." she and McGucket stared at each other, similar to how they stared at each other back at the mineshaft, but she saw a different glint in his eyes the longer they held their stare. 

"I'd like a word with you, Miss Alvah." 

"Well now, wait just one moment bus--" 

"Of course, perhaps we'll settle the feud between us." Stan stared at her in shock, giving her puppy dog eyes to get her to come back inside, but she simply patted Stan on the head and pushed him gently inside "I promise we won't be too long, just go back inside and wait for me. I'll even stay over, if that's what you want." he stared at her before throwing his head back with a sigh. 

"Urgh, fine! But don't take too long! We were just getting to the fun part." she laughed and ushered him inside. 

"I won't!" she leaned her head inside and waited for him to be fully gone before closing the door behind her, her face completely changed as she leaned against the front door, arms crossed and attention back on the man in front of her "So, Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, what would you like to remember?" a smirk stretched across her face when she saw Fiddleford glare up at her. 

"Everything." she chuckled cruelly. 

"Oh, with pleasure." 

season 2, episode 8. blendin's game 

the children don't bring up knowing that alvah and mcgucket have history amongst each other. 

either that or they just don't want to believe that alvah did something bad that caused mcgucket to spiral the way he is. 

in the episode, alvah knows the history behind soos' tragic tale of his birthday and, despite the heartache it gives him, encourages the twins to make this birthday worth it. 

she was also there ten years ago when stan first hired soos, patting his head with a smile. 

season 2, episode 9. love god 

doesn't involve herself with stan when he tries to appeal to the "hippy weirdos" during the festival. 

she does laugh when she saw his failed attempt at making a hot air balloon. 

she quotes "I heart kids" for the rest of the day, irritating him. 

season 2, episode 10. northwest mansion mystery 

doesn't make an appearance in the episode. 

season 2, episode 11. not what he seems 

"What happened here?" Alvah arrived at the Mystery Shack when the Pines twins were putting out a fire with water balloons, she greets the twins when they came running up to her with hugs and looked over at Stan, who was casually sitting on the outside sofa while drinking a pitt cola. She waved her hand and perked up when he waved his hand to greet her back before gesturing for her to come over, she ruffles their heads before making her way over to him and taking a seat beside him "Good morning, Stan. You seem to be in a chipper mood." he lets out a laugh. 

"I'm in an even better mood now that you're here." she giggled softly. 

"Stop it." they're laughing together until they're both looking out at Dipper and Mabel, she snickers softly when Dipper throws a balloon rather weakly that it barely makes it a foot from him, he's immediately wiped out by a balloon to the face by Mabel "But seriously, what's gotten you smiling this morning?" he clears his throat as he rubs the back of his neck. 

"Well, do you remember how I told you I've been working on something for the past thirty years?" she raises a brow but nods her head "I think... I think it's coming together now. I'm so close to it now that I'm not gonna let anything get in my way from my greatest achievement." her gaze softened as she placed her hand on his knee. 

"Then I hope everything goes your way, Stan." he smiles at her and places his hand on top of hers, however, her eyes widened in surprise when a water balloon was thrown at her, soaking her. They look over and see that it was Dipper who had thrown it, whose face was frozen with horror. 

"O-Oh my gosh, Alvah! That was meant for Stan!" said man was howling with laughter, she stared at Stan and promptly shoved him off the sofa, which caused the kids to laugh, and then proceed to shower him with water balloons. 

"Alright, alright! Hahaha! I tell ya, it's unnatural for siblings to get along as well as you do." Mabel lets out a laugh. 

"Haha! Don't worry, we've still got plenty of summer left to drive each other crazy." she cheers as she grabs a hold of Dipper, he then pushes her back and splashes her with a water balloon. 

"Heh, yeah... plenty of summer left." she grabbed his hand from behind him after hearing the way his voice dampened a little, he squeezed it and smiled when she squeezed his hand "Kids, there's something I... something I should tell you. It's, um... w-well it's complicated. I..." she was startled when he abruptly took his hand back from her "I'm gonna go refresh my soda." she and the children watch him rush off in a hurry, they look up at her to see if she knew why he fled the way she did but even she looked confused. 

"Alvah?" her face saddened when he disappeared but she shook her head and smiled at the kids. 

"I'm sure whatever he has to tell you is just hard for him to expl--" she shot up to her feet when she heard shouting, immediately getting in front of the kids to protect them "Stan? Are you alri--" she lets out a gasp when a group of armed men came out from around the corner and pointed guns at her, the kids jumped back when she was tackled to the ground. 

"Alvah!" she lets out a grunt when the man above her grabbed her by the wrists and slapped handcuffs around them. 

"Target secure." she turned her head and her eyes widened when she saw the soldiers surround Dipper and Mabel. 

"Kids are secure." she was lifted to her feet as a squadron of government soldiers broke into the house through the windows, she glared at the man who was handling her. 

"Hey! I haven't done anything! I know my rights." she turned her head when she saw Stan was being escorted by another government soldier "Stan! What's going on? Why am I being arrested?!" 

"Alvah, I-- hey! Hands off, you stooge! I don't understand. What did I do that warrants this much arresting?" Stan shouts as he was held down on the boot of a car, she was treated nicer than him and was left standing, she scoffs when she saw Agent Powers and Agent Trigger appear. 

"The government guys? I thought you got eaten by zombies." 

"We survived... barely." 

"I used Trigger as a human shield. He cried like a baby." she deadpanned, she didn't need to know that "This is security footage of a government waste facility. At 0400 hours last night, someone robbed 300 gallons of dangerous waste." 

"What? You think that's me?" 

"Don't play dumb with us, Pines!" 

"But I actually am dumb! Last night I was restocking the gift shop... I swear!" he was then taken into the car, leaving Alvah with the kids still handcuffed. 

"Why am I being arrested? What did I do?" she leaned back as her face scrunched up with anger when he got close to her. 

"We've been keeping an eye on Mr Pines ever since that zombie incident and we've noticed that you have a close relationship with him." she let out a gasp when she was being led away to a different government vehicle, her eyes not leaving Agent Powers "We might not have any video evidence of you helping, but we can't write you off the list just yet." 

"I'm being arrested for mere association with him?! I swear, this isn't going to end well for you!" 

stan finds it slightly amusing seeing alvah get a mugshot but is silenced when she glares at him from across the room. 

she and stan are separated into different interrogation rooms but she could just hear him fumbling over his words, trying to say "he's innocent until proven guilty", but failing. 

they really had no need to take her in as well but from what they've observed, she and stan were nearly always seen together. 

what's to say she wasn't with him during that ordeal? 

they asked her questions to get her to talk, to get her to prove that it was indeed stan who stole the nuclear waste. 

but throughout the interrogation, she was eerily quiet. 

giving short or one-worded answers. 

what really disturbed them was how calm she looked, her eyes and voice devoid of any emotion. 

from what they got from the locals, alvah was a walking ray of sunshine. no matter who saw her she always had some way to make them smile. 

she was kind, nice, and polite and the type of person who you could talk to no matter the topic. 

but the woman sitting in the interrogation room, a singular light hanging above her head as she stared at them without blinking... it terrified them. 

"She's a lot creepier than I would have thought." 

"Let's get some air. Her answers are getting us nowhere." Alvah watched them leave the room before slumping back in her seat, she knew this day was coming but she didn't expect she'd be arrested like Stan, it was a little humiliating if she was being honest. She hoped the kids were alright, she knew Stan was fine telling how the agents left him alone in the room, but she was getting a little frustrated that they were holding her here all because she and Stan were close. She began to scowl but let out an oh when everything, including herself, started floating a few feet off the ground before dropping back down with a notable thud. 

"Huh, now ain't that interesting." unlike Stan, she was handcuffed to the table in front of her so she tugged it back when it dropped a few inches away from where it originally was. This was going to get a lot more fun, a few hours rolled by and the group of agents came back into the room with determined expressions. 

"Look here, lady. You may not be guilty of any crimes unlike Mr Pines in the next room over, but you could get into serious trouble for withholding information. If you tell us what you know, you can go home." she just raised a brow at him. 

"Uh huh." she answered boredly, leaning back against her seat while letting her head hang back, looking up at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing she's seen all day. She didn't flinch when the agent slammed his hand onto the table, she simply raised her head to look at the agent, expression indifferent "Struck a nerve?" she snickered when he grabbed her by the collar of her chest, yanking her out of her seat and scowling at that smug look on her face. 

"You're stepping on thin ice, lady." 

"Ooo, I'm so scared." she let out a laugh when he threw her back into the chair and she waved her hands from where they were chained "Now that ain't a way to treat a lady. Have you no manners?" she then started laughing rather manically, this was the first emotion they got out of her that entire time and it really freaked them out, with how far her smile stretched across her face and how her laughter echoed throughout the empty room. 

"God, you're creepy. I don't know why this town likes you so much." she winked. 

"Thanks. I take that as a real compliment." she grinned cheekily at him when he slumped against the table, she glanced over at a clock and saw that it was seconds away from nine o'clock "Hey, do any of you guys get motion sick?" they look at her with confused expressions. 

"What? No?" she chuckled. 

"Good, then you'll be just fine." the moment the clock struck nine everything in the room started floating just like before, but this time it lasted much longer and the agents in the room began freaking out. She continued to sit calmly in her seat while the other men tried their best to find anything stable, she glanced to the side when she heard in the room over a whole lot of shouting, she figured Stan had managed to free himself and was effortlessly getting himself out of the room. The moment the gravity came back everyone fell to the ground with a grunt, she just looked down at them amused, she perked up when she saw something run across the window of the door before coming back. 

"Alvah! Let me--" she raised her hand and shook her head, gesturing for him to leave. 

"You clearly have somewhere to be, Stan. I'll be fine. I'll catch up with you later." she winked at him and though he seemed reluctant he dashed out of the police station, now that Stan was finally gone, she inhaled deeply while rolling her shoulders "Finally, the day of his return has arrived." the agents were slowly peeling themselves off the floor when they finally noticed Alvah stand to her feet, the one that was being violent with her pulled himself up by using the table but noticed that when she stood up the handcuffs that kept her secured to the table snapped off. 

"Hey, lady..." he paused when he saw her lace her fingers together and push them forward so she could crack her knuckles, followed by rolling her neck before finally settling her eyes on him "y-you can't just--" he was cut off when she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, the same way he grabbed her, and pulled him until they were inches away from each other's faces. 

"What happened to that big boy attitude from before? Don't tell me that was all for show." that same grin that scared them stretched across her face again but this time her eyes held a sort of viciousness, or rather, insanity "You should have left us well alone, and maybe then you wouldn't have to suffer such a gruesome fate." the next couple of minutes the room was filled with cries and screams followed by maniacal laughter that slowly died out as time ticked by, the agents in the next toom quickly burst out of the room the moment they collected their bearings and ran out to chase after Stan but first checked up on their fellow agents interrogating Stan's part-- they all recoil back at the stench of death lingering out of the room, how blood was splattered across the floor and walls and even the ceiling, and at the center of it all was Alvah, holding the broken arm of the same man who was acting up on her. 

"Y-You..." her head snaps towards them like a doll, they flinch back at the sight of blood dripping down her face as she presses the heel of her boot into the agent's head to keep him still. 

"You should have heeded my warning, Agent Powers." she spoke, she took a step forward but raised the leg that was on the agent's head, they flinched back when she slammed her foot down and crushed his head "If I were you, I'd forget all about this town and get as far away as possible. But now... I can't let you leave. You know too much." Agent Powers takes a step back when she snaps her head again, her pupils moving erratically within her eye socket. 

"We should have kept our eyes on you, not Stanford." 

stan was running as fast as he could back to the mystery shack, hoping that soos did as he was asked and protected the vending machine. 

little did he know that dipper and mabel found his stash of fake id's, the newspaper article that proclaimed he was dead and the code that unlocks the vending machine to reveal the hidden door that leads to the basement. 

soos, dipper and mabel venture down into the basement and in horror found exactly what the government agents were searching for. 

the machine that could potentially destroy the world. 

with only a minute to go, the trio found a manual override that could possibly shut the machine down and stop it from tearing the universe apart. 

turning the three keys at the same time, it powers up a button directly in front of the machine that could shut down the machine. 

they quickly rush over to it, intending to shut it down for good when stan finally made it back. 

"Don't touch that button!" they all whip their heads towards the door and see a panicked look on Stan's face as he shouted at them to stop, he saw the way they stared at him with mixed feelings. Betrayal, anger, confusion, Dipper's hand was hovering over the button that could potentially ruin thirty years of his progress "Dipper, just back away. Please don't press that shutdown button. You gotta trust me." the boy's gaze hardened on him as he looked between him and the button. 

"And I should trust you, why? After you stole radioactive waste, after you lied to us all summer! I don't even know who you are!" 

"Look, I know this all seems nuts, but I need that machine to stay on. If you just let me explain--" his head snapped towards his watch and started beeping, indicating that another gravitational anomaly was going off "Oh! Oh, no! Brace yourselves!" the machine that Stan had been working on spurred to life, a gateway of sorts opened up as they were lifted off the ground, this anomaly was much more powerful than the previous ones because it started to lift the shack off the ground along with the other buildings within Gravity Falls. 

"T-Minus thirty-five seconds." they're all floating off in different directions, Mabel, however, got her foot caught in the wire attached to the shutdown button. 

"Mabel! Hurry! Shut it down!" Stan panics when he saw her pulling herself towards the button, he manages to plant his feet on the wall he was thrown into and push himself towards her. 

"No! Mabel, Mabel, wait! Stop!" he let out a grunt when Soos slammed into him to stop him "Soos, what are you doing? I gave you an order!" Soos tightened his hold on Stan. 

"Sorry, Mr Pines, if that really is your name, but I have a new mission now, protecting these kids!" 

"Soos, you idiot, let me go!" Dipper manages to throw himself at Stan, sending the three of them flying through the air. 

"Let me go!" 

"Mabel, press the red button! Shut it down!" 

"No, you can't! You gotta trust me!" 

"Grunkle Stan, I don't even know if you're my Grunkle! I wanna believe you, but..." 

"Then listen to me. Remember this morning, when I said I wanted to tell you guys something?" they briefly looked away when the timer went off, saying that they had twenty seconds, the gateway surged with energy and threw the boys back into the wall opposite to where Mabel was, she raises her fist to push the button but stopped when he started speaking again "I wanted to say that you're gonna hear some bad things about me, and some of 'em are true, but trust me, everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family." 

"Mabel, what if he's lying?! This thing could destroy the world! Listen to your head!" 

"Look into my eyes, Mabel! You really think I'm a bad guy?" 

"He's lying! Shut it down, now!" 

"Mabel, please!" Mabel looked between Stan and Dipper, her head swirling with all kinds of thoughts. Mabel didn't know who to choose-- who to believe. On one hand, Stan was pleading with her to not push the button? But what did he gain from this machine being on and possibly destroying the universe. On the other, Dipper was telling her to push the button to prevent such a catastrophe from happening. The timer slowly counted down as her hand lowered towards the button, she looked back at Stan and saw how much he was begging her not to do it. 

"Grunkle Stan... I trust you." with that she raised her hands above her head and allowed herself to float away from the button. 

"Mabel, are you crazy?! We're all gonna--" the moment the timer struck one a blister of white light exploded out of the machine and enveloped the entire room, this lasted for a couple seconds before gravity returned and everything fell back to the ground. Looking towards the machine, it was completely destroyed at this point but the gateway was still powered on and Dipper saw through the smoke a figure walking through. The figure approached them but stopped right in front of one of the journals, Dipper watched as he placed his six-fingered hand on top of the cover before lifting it off the ground and putting it in his coat "W-What? Who is that?" Stan, who lifted himself off the ground and adjusted his hat, stared up at the figure with disbelief. 

"The author of the journals... my brother." 

... 

... 

"Is this the part where one of us faints?" 

"Oh, I am so on it, dude." with that Soos fainted, but as they all slowly took in what just happened in the span of a minute, the sound of someone slowly clapping echoed through the room along with their footsteps. Looking towards the entrance, through the dust, Stan recognized the figure as she slowly approached them. 

"Well, well, well. You did it, Stanley. I just knew you could." Stan's eyes widened at the sight of Alvah, he had completely forgotten about her at the police station, but now she was here... different. She had blood splattered across her face and dress, the ends of her hands dripping with it while the end of her dress looked soaked along with her boots. As she gets closer he reaches his hand out to her but she completely ignored him, her eyes fixated on the man he proclaimed as his brother "Welcome back, Stanford." 

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