Curate, connect, and discover
bbg, i know how it feels (personal experience with that kinda thoughts). but i'd suggest this;
any time you wanna hurt yourself, count in numbers.
I like the number five, so i count by fives. five groups of five. count it, tap my foot, my fingers, clench my hands to fives.
five and twenty five. i count by them to try and just distract myself.
How do i not start harming myself one day? Out of a weird curiosity? I'm scared of that idea the most bc that 'try' won't stop and my own actions and thoughts will manipulate my personal beliefs and the limits I'm trying to set- both for my mind and actions.
But seeing and learning others losing against themselves hurts me so much. I don't have a strong personality. I'm trying, for months, to not get a reflexive answer to stressful moments as the mere words of 'i wanna kms'- just so i dont get used to it or don't get affected by it. And yet now those words are what escapes my mind during any kind of a breakdown and im trying to not think like that. İm still trying to not think like that but idk. İm scared. It hurts me so much seeing people hurt. I hate this world :(