Menstrual Cycle - Blog Posts

the only good thing about being on it is that wearing a thick pad makes it look like i have a slight bulge

brb yall, gotta tear my uterus out with my bare hands

Hey does anyone ever wonder if menstrual cramps are your uterus punishing you for wasting all the eggs it prepared for your bone existent baby?

Like bitch…I did ALL this work…for nothing??? PAIN!!! PAIN FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!!!

And your like wow thanks f me for not being pregnant I guess I hate you too

That PMDD moment

(I don’t own this picture btw) DUDE IM ON MY PERIODS AGAIN TWO TIMES THIS MONTH WHATS GOING ON

Something I think about a lot is how women, myself included, have been afraid of being pregnant even when we haven't had any sexual contact with a man. To me that says something but I'm not entirely sure what

“Advice” for Women Suffering Period “Discomfort” with Commentary (or How I Learned to Want a Menstruation Hut)

Source: “Can’t Sleep While You’re On You’re Period? Here’s Why  from The Huffington Post

Your body temperature rises over the course of your menstrual cycle

Your core body temperature rises between a half and a whole degree during your period. This can be a problem because an evening drop in body temperature is one of the main biological triggers that makes you feel sleepy.

How to fix it: Make sure your bedroom is cooled to optimal sleeping temperature: about 60-67 degrees Fahrenheit. ….[Trick] your body into drowsiness with a warm bath or shower, because moving from warm water to your cool bedroom will make your body temperature drop. And consider sleeping with fewer covers.

Take a warm, soothing, comforting shower then expose yourself to un-comforting cold. Just stop feeling so icky; just take off the blanket and the other blanket and the other one.

Mood swings make you feel anxious or depressed  

Period-related mood swings are very normal; hormones like estrogen and progesterone drop right before your period, making you experience negative emotions more strongly. And anxiety and depression make it tough to fall asleep at night.

How to fix it: First, just being aware that some of your mood swings can be attributed to hormones can help ease the problem, by untangling your mind-body matrix. So consider tracking your period with an app or on a calendar. During your period itself, you can try deep breathing, meditation or yoga to relax and unwind before bedtime.

NO FUCKING SHIT! Mood swings make you feel anxious or depressed or both! But just think it away. Simply tell yourself, “eh, I’m on my period. That’s why I’m moody. Ok. Back to being well-adjusted.” Let me just set up an app or calendar so I can have alerts for these miserable days. Being aware will make it all better.

Then take your period achy body and contort it into positions that might not feel natural to your inflexible corporeal self. Obsess further on the negative thoughts that will send you spiraling into a deeper depression.

Nausea, indigestion, and other stomach issues make it tough to fall or stay asleep.

You may have noticed digestive upsets during menstruation such as indigestion, nausea or diarrhea, all of which can disrupt sleep.

How to fix it: Although you may be tempted by ice cream, chocolate or other comfort foods…[avoid] heavy meals before bedtime. Instead, try one of these snacks that can actually help you sleep, like toast, trail mix or plain rice.

Yummmmmmmmmmmy! Browned bread, nuts and raisins or the stuff my raw fish lays on in my sushi instead of creamy ice cream or sweet, comforting chocolate. Why does anyone suffer from period pain when these delicious foods are available? After all, these are same tasty foods that are recommended to people who are nauseous or have diarrhea.  

Cramps, headaches and muscle pain can make it hard to get comfortable.

This one’s a no-brainer: For many women, periods = pain, whether that’s through cramps or generalized muscle pain. Left untreated, this pain can make it hard to get comfortable enough to fall asleep.

How to fix it: Try changing your sleep position, adding or subtracting pillows, or using a heating pad to relieve pressure. You can also pop a mild painkiller like Tylenol or Advil to relieve discomfort. But, Dr. Duncan cautions, don’t overdo it: If you regularly take Advil or other painkillers, you can actually experience withdrawal when you quit, which can make the problem worse. “Know your own body,” Duncan says.

When it comes to headaches, a small amount of caffeine can be helpful, but overdoing it can have the opposite effect. To make sure you’re tired enough to fall asleep, Duncan recommends cutting caffeine out altogether in the afternoon.

Can’t sleep? Toss and turn. Move the pillows around in various places in and around under and between body parts (Are you still trying to sleep with the blankets on? Tsk. Tsk.) 

Take a painkiller…but wait, not too many. You don’t want to make your period give you withdrawal symptoms or liver damage now do you? 

Didn’t we mention earlier that your period will make you tired? Okay because don’t try to use caffeine to help you get through your day if it’s already the afternoon. 

And for pain, wait, I have the blanket off to keep cool, but should I use a heating pad?

Your cycle actually causes insomnia

During your period, your body’s levels of the hormone progesterone drop dramatically. This can make it hard to sleep because progesterone is a “soporific” hormone, meaning it has a mild sedative effect. (Higher-than-usual progesterone is also why you may feel sleepy the week before your period, during PMS.)

The fix: Again, Duncan recommends avoiding caffeine for several hours before bed because it will exacerbate the issue. And the week before your period, recognize the fact that increased progesterone increases your need for sleep, and try going to bed 30 minutes earlier. Or take a 20 minute power nap, suggests Duncan. You can also keep a sleep log or make a sleep schedule to regularize your bedtime, and note any fluctuations in sleep behavior for next month.

Duncan suggests one thing that can blunt many of these symptoms: any type of hormonal birth control (like the pill or a certain IUDs). “Any hormonal birth control decreases the fluctuation in estrogen and progesterone that is responsible for nearly all of these symptoms,” says Duncan. “So an added benefit of these forms of contraception can be better sleep!”

While you’re deep in the pit of despair from depression and bawling uncontrollably because your crush doesn’t exist in real life or simply because you dropped your child off at school, or you yell at the CVS cashier because he’s trying to save you money on your feminine hygiene needs, sure, take a moment to just be logical and recognize that your progesterone is increasing and you should take a nap or go to bed early. 

So what if you’re a single mother who has to work 2 jobs or stay up late grading papers or have a child who broke out in hives – forget all that. Throw in a power nap that you usually askew on non-PMS or period days simply because you don’t need it, not because you have absolutely no free time. Do laundry or power nap because I’m on my period? Shower or power nap because I’m on my period? Leave my child unsupervised because I need to get to bed early? 

Go on the pill? Bitch, this is all happening and I’m already on the pill!

Isn’t there just a magic pill? One thing I can take to help to make this all go away? 

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Having a period is a natural thing. Didn’t mother nature make sure there were things in nature that can help relieve this. What about supplements? Hold on. Let me try another source.

Source: unknown

So, shit, being on my period, my memory is impaired, and I forgot to keep track of where the following information on supplements came from. Being certain I will be busted for plagiarism will give me something to fixate my sharpened anxiety on as I lay awake from insomnia.

A number of supplements have been shown to help ease PMS symptoms by improving metabolic function and hormone metabolism. Here are the superstars:

Magnesium citrate or glycinate — Take 400 to 600 mg a day.

Calcium citrate — Take 600 mg a day.

Vitamin B6 — Take 50 to 100 mg a day along with 800 mcg of folate and 1,000 mcg of vitamin B12.

Evening primrose oil — Take two 500mg capsules twice a day.

EPA/DHA (omega 3 fats) — Take 1,000 mg once or twice a day.

Taurine — Take 500 mg a day to help liver detoxification.

A good daily multivitamin (all the nutrients work together)

Herbs and phytonutrients can also be very helpful. Here are the best studied and most effective:

Chasteberry fruit extract (Vitex Agnus-astus) can help balance the hormones released by the pituitary gland that control your overall hormone function. Studies of over 5,000 women have found it effective. Take 100 mg twice a day of a 10:1 extract.

Wild yam (Dioscorea villosa) and cramp bark (Viburum opulus) can help regulate cycles and relieve menstrual cramps.

Dandelion root can help with liver detoxification and works as a diuretic.

Isoflavones from soy, red clover, or kudzu root improve estrogen detoxification by boosting the activity of specific detox enzymes. They can be taken as supplements or consumed in the diet.

Flax seeds contain lignans that help balance hormone metabolism and block the negative effects of excess estrogens.

Chinese herbal formulas may also help. One of the most effective is Xiao Yao San, or Rambling Powder. It contains: Bupleurum Root (Bupleurum chinense), Chinese Peony Root (Paeonia lactiflora), Dong Quai Root (Angelica sinensis), Bai-Zhu Atractylodes Root (Atractylodes macrocephala), Poria Sclerotium (Poria cocos), Ginger Rhizome (Zingiber officinale), Chinese Licorice Root (Glycyrrhiza uralensis),and Chinese Mint Leaf (Mentha haplocalyx)

Replacing healthy bacteria in the gut also helps normalize estrogen and hormone metabolism. Take 5 to 10 billion live organisms in a daily probiotic supplement.

For intractable cases, I will occasionally use topical, natural bioidentical progesterone in the last two weeks of the menstrual cycle. The usual dose is ½ tsp (20 to 40 mg) applied at night to thin skin areas for the last two weeks of the menstrual cycle.

Oh, good, only 15 – FIF-TEEN! – supplements, herbs, and phytonutrients to take. Do I fucking use all of them? Where the fuck do I even get these? 

Source: “13 Ways to Deal with Menstrual Insomnia” from Reader’s Digest

Adjust your pill times

On the other hand, if you’re already taking another medication that has drowsiness as a side effect, ask your doctor if you can take that drug an hour before bed instead of whenever you’ve been taking it. A side effect like drowsiness can work against you during the day, but you can use it to your advantage at night.

Oh shit! Which one of those 15 supplements will make me drowsy and which will keep me awake so I can follow advice about not taking medications that might keep me awake?

Watch out for wild cards

“Some women may have other conditions that worsen during their cycle,” says Dr. Moline, and any associated sleepiness may become exaggerated, possibly because of changes in blood volume. When blood volume increases, your blood levels of medication may drop outside the therapeutic window.  

If sleepiness may become exaggerated then why is there insomnia still a symptom?  As for the blood level thing, do I need to take extra doses of supplements for them to have an effect?

Kill the pain

If pelvic pain keeps you up during your period, talk to your doctor about taking an over-the-counter NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug) like ibuprofen, plus a vitamin B complex and magnesium supplement. And don’t forget the old remedies of a heating pad or sex to relieve the pain. You can also often block the chemicals that produce pain with a daily aerobic workout. 

Again with a heating pad but try to stay cool by keeping off the covers. Oh, aerobic exercise! Sure that’s what I’m motivated to do when it feels like my uterus is being inflated into an iron maiden, and I’m tired because the other source told me that I might be so tired that I should take a power nap. Should I schedule the aerobic exercise before of after the power nap that I squeeze in by avoiding eating or spending time with my child? 

And kill the pain with sex? Well, I ruined that possibility while I was PMS-ing. The guy I might consider having sex with almost lost his head when I tried to bite it off after I misinterpreted something he said the other day. This was after I threw my drink in his face. After my PMS-yelling-and-sobbing-for-forgiveness fit, I did straddle him, but for some reason, he wasn’t interested in sex, then, so I’m not so sure he’d be willing now. Besides, I’m too damn tired to fuck because my god-damned period causes fatigue.

Pay Attention To Basics

Increase the likelihood you’ll sleep by creating a restful environment. Make your sleep area a comfortable, dark place in which you feel safe. Keep soothing teas and herbal hot packs within reach.

Wait, keep hot drinks and hot packs near me while I sleep when I’m supposed to try to keep myself cool, kicking off the blankets? What? I’m so fucking confused and more irritable from this advice than I was when I desperately began seeking advice for relief of this misery of menstruation.  

Stick with just a nibble

Menstruating women sometimes get so hungry they seem to eat every couple of hours. But eating heavily right before bed could leave you wide awake with an overly full belly. If you’re hungry close to bedtime, stick with just a bite or two of something light, like a few nuts. Find out the best foods to eat during your period here.

So this is even more restrictive than the other source’s advice. Just nuts. Not even the toast or rice. But like the other advice: No chocolate. No ice cream. No bag of chicharrones. No cans of frosting. What about all those 15 supplements suggested by that other source? That’s more than a nibble…

Channel your thoughts

Focus on things you love, like the flowers you might put in the garden next spring or remembering taking your kids to see the ocean for the first time. Trying to work out problems right now will only leave you wide-eyed and anxious.

Oh, my fucking god! Shut the fuck up! Fucking, fuck are you fucking kidding me? Flowers? Kids? Yes that is all those of us with a uterus love: Flowers and kids. Fuck! Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? Fuck! 

My advice: Menstruation Hut

I know, I know that the idea of hiding away women in a menstruation hut is a horrible, deadly reality for some women around the world, and the Red Tent effort to make the menstruation hut a positive experience by bringing women together in this small shelter is not my idea of a good time, even when not on my period. 

However, my version of a menstruation hut would be to isolate myself for the safety of others and myself. No way do I want a bunch of other women in there bugging the shit out of me. It would be a place I could go to upon the onset of PMS and through the end of bleeding. I would need to have someone lock me in there, cut off my access to social media, stock it with lots of Kleenex, a heavy bag, a baseball bat, padded walls, a soaker tub and shower, comfort foods and sedatives, lots and lots of sedatives. 

My menstruation hut could, hell, should really just be a state of unconsciousness. My worst PMS is usually on Saturday and I’m done bleeding by Thursday. So once a month, just knock me unconscious from Sunday to Thursday. And I, and the world, will be better for it.

period cramps are NOT FOR THE FUCKING WEAK OH MY GOD

of course i start my cycle on the ides of march