My Texts - Blog Posts

I just-I just want another soul to see the chaos that is me and my partner’s texts.

Also one from me and my best friend:

So I had a conversation today with a friend. I thought it was funny -w-

I wast expecting him to reply that fast. So I speedran the drawing.

KH OC week 2024 - Day 7: Future.

Hajime is seeking knowledge, he is amazed at how little we know about the worlds, about the essence of people's hearts, about everything that surrounds us. For him, this topic is special. He would like to not only study, but also share new knowledge with others, which is why Hajime will become Ansem the Wise apprentice and will study in detail all the reports, books and all kinds of information. Many may call him a bookworm, but he will start carrying books with him because in his free time this is his favorite pastime. You can always ask Hajime about anything, and if he suddenly does not know the answer, he will not calm down now, he must know, and this will fill his thoughts for the next few weeks.

For some of Ansem's apprentices, he can even seem clingy despite his gloomy nature. He is especially attached to Ienzo, because he seems to be the only one who always condescendingly treat Hajime's clinginess.

In short: Hajime studies a lot, and sometimes others have to bring him back to reality because the boy gets lost due to his hunger for knowledge in books.

@khoc-week

KH OC week 2024 - Day 6: Journal Appearance.

I would like to write a little about Hajime's design and why it is exactly the way you see it now.

The hairstyle has been there since the first design (I wrote about it), the reason why it is so: Hajime is directly connected to Vanitas, and Vanitas is a part of Ventus. However, the back of Hajime's head is shaved (the exact reason is still unknown in the plot, perhaps it was done by Even, perhaps it is his personal manifestation). Outside of the plot, I did this so that Hajime would have more of his own personality in his look despite how he is related to certain canon characters.

Directly about the face: Hajime has quite thick eyebrows and eyelashes, this is his own manifestation. The Hajime's gaze is heavy, the corners of his eyes are lowered. The eye color is jade, which has been with him since his very first design and is in fact the opposite color of the eyes of the Unversed. It is also noticeable from the look that Hajime has a darkened area from the eyebrows to the eyes: this is also natural for him. What was received later: dark bags under the eyes.

+ Hajime has an interesting feature: when he cries, his tears are partially colored black. This pigment is secreted by his body. This is also reminded by the darkened tips of his fingers and toes.

The Hajime's skin color is noticeably dark, which was inspired by Master Xehanort. This can be explained by the fact that Vanitas is connected to darkness.

When I drew his outfit I relied on the designs of the Unversed from Birth by Sleep. I took a little from each Unversed and came to the version that you can see now. (+ I think I'll use the last one for his appearance in KH III).

I really wanted to convey the feature of the Flood: pointed limbs, so Hajime has such pointed shoes and silver claws on his gloves. (+ I really love Aqua's shoes). The color of the outfit is inspired by the same Unversed.

@khoc-week

KH OC week 2024 - Day 5: Unique The Power Within.

Basic weapon

Hajime is a keyblade wielder.

For now I only have these sketches of his keyblade, still thinking about the design. Most likely it will change as story goes on. His keyblade will have a big plus in magic and a small plus in strength. This keyblade is long, the attack can be at a longer distance.

As you can see in the sketches, the keyblade refers to Hajime's real origin (Unversed). But for some reason I'm still not entirely sure about this decision. And yes, the chains also make sense in his design, I think it's not hard to guess why.

Magic

Hajime himself is more like a mage role in the party cause he inclined to magic. Even when attacking with a keyblade, the presence of magic is often noticeable in normal attacks.

In game, Hajime would always have a higher MP bar than HP bar. Therefore, Hajime is more focused on preventing damage and is comfortable for him keeping the enemy at a distance.

Easy to use + high resistance: Blizzard, Thunder, Gravity.

Difficult to use + low resistance: Fire, Aero.

Later, Hajime will show himself as an excellent tactician who can use almost anything around him to his advantage, including the help and strength of his party members. However, Hajime is still more like a lone wolf type of a fighter, so he is bad at supporting party members, but he is already useful in improvement the outcome of the battle in favor of his party through his tactics.

@khoc-week

KH OC week 2024 - Day 4: Dream Past.

I

Hajime is an experiment of one of Ansem the Wise's apprentices - Even. This experiment with Unversed was hidden from others and was inspired by Ansem the Wise's research, and later by the interest of one of the other apprentices, Xehanort.

???

The experiment was only half successful: the successful part is that the Unversed now has a human form and the subject has a heartbeat, but the heart rate was much lower than normal. The unsuccessful part is that the subject was in a coma.

Even considered the experiment a failure, as he believed "the heart failed to take hold". Hajime was left in the same room where he was created, and all reports of this failure were destroyed. Even concluded that Hajime would likely die after a while with such a low heart rate, either from complete cardiac arrest or some other dysfunction of an imperfect heart or a weak body. Several times after that, the scientist came to make sure, but the heart still beat at its own rhythm, it seemed strange, but it still did not give hope and after some time it was forgotten and erased from memory as an unsuccessful attempt at experiments with the heart.

II

While the Hajime's body was left to die naturally, something was happening inside him that would make him the character we would later know. He was about to take a long, arduous journey through the blurry horizons of his own heart.

Even, and at that time Vexen, will not know that the experiment was successful after all and after 10 years Unversed, gifted with a heart, will finally awaken from sleep.

@khoc-week

KH OC week 2024 - Day 3: Connection.

VANITAS.

For Hajime, Vanitas is a never-ending nightmare.

Since the Unversed are completely under Vanitas control, and Hajime is in his previous form is Unversed, he is directly connected to Vanitas. During and after awakening, Hajime continues to see this dark silhouette everywhere, still hear his voice. For a long time Hajime can't even name what and who he sees and hears, but his fear changes to anger and again to fear every time he hears that voice.

Only the manifestations of Vanitas in Hajime's heart can bring him close enough to breaking and falling under control again.

@khoc-week

KH OC week 2024 - Day 2: Past What was your character creation process like?

this one will be morally difficult for me 😭😭

I didn't find much old art to show, but I think these ones will say a lot.

Hajime as a character has existed since 2016. In March 2016 (I was 13 uuum 13 ehem) I learned about KH and somewhere around the same time I came up with this, at that time - eh, I don't know- at least unoriginal character who was literally a goth Roxas (I didn't knew about the existence of AUs idk, and Roxas is already ''emo boy'', but 2007 was almost here idkkk, we can joke about it for a very long time actually, but the fact remains a fact).

His name changed many times and there was no special meaning behind them (Sea, Syon), I just liked the way they sounded. I can answer the question why I named him ''Hajime'' right now. Internet says: ''Hajime (Japanese: はじめ) is a Japanese name meaning "beginning" (初め, 始め)''. I liked the way it sounded and its meaning and it gave me a hint where to move the character's story now.

+ in the Hajime's story he chooses this name for himself, because obviously no one gave name to him, but he needed a word to talk about himself and (i'm not sure about that) in the book he finds this name and I can say that it was chosen by him randomly.

He had a terrible written story on the basis of some other AU (???) and without сorvalol I can’t read it, even though it’s stored somewhere in my old dms from those years, I still don’t want to show it 😭

Around 2017 and up until 2019, I tried to make... something... out of him. It feels more like I just periodically returned to KH in a fit of baseless nostalgia and I really wanted to shove a “piece of myself” into this universe (which was already tired of me lmao).

2019 reminded me about KH in the form of KH III release and... this character again (+ my friend's kh oc- Jun).

I think that for a long time I didn't wanted to fundamentally change his concept (which was literally just that he exists and somehow travels around the worlds) because I was emotionally attached to this character. In essence, he was not just a character for me, but also memories that were triggered by each repeated hyperfixation on this universe.

It seems to me that the most obvious indicator of how I jumped back and forth into the KH universe is noticeable by the fact that it gave me the opportunity to look at one of my redraw series with this character through the years.

From 2020 to 2023 there was a long lull with this character.

2023 has been jUiCy in rethinking from the start because the long break gave me the opportunity to finally stop give in to nostalgia (or at least less) and loosen my emotional attachments to unworkable concepts. Therefore, this character now has the opportunity to finally become something better than a copy of another character.

However, this epic attempt was quickly abandoned as soon as the hyperfix ended.

We've reached the present time (mid-2024).

I slammed my fist on the table and decided to finally play through ALL the Kingdom Hearts games (that was therapy for my soul) and finally my understanding of KH universe became kinda complete (I still don't understand everything, the plot is very complex u'know). From what I began to understand, I decided to give this character another chance and close this damned gestalt.

This story is still ongoing, but I told in general details everything that happened to this character all these 8 years. This actually shows not only how the character changed, but also how I changed as an artist. Even my ''psychological problems'' can be seen through this story, and what amazes me the most is how over the years, using Hajime as an example, my drawing skills improved.

At such moments, you understand that you are not standing still and thoughts about "I have no progress in my art" no longer arise.

@khoc-week

The whole thing makes more sense if you click the first picture to where you can see the whole image (the same can be said for the last post)

The blacked out parts include my ✨legal name✨