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I'm so fortunate I was able to get my uterus removed, and it took so many years for any gynecologist to be willing to even have a serious conversation about it let alone refer me to a surgeon where I could discuss my options.
before I was allowed to pursue surgery, I had to prove that I had tried "less extreme" options, which in my case was an injection of a very strong hormonal birth control that led to me bleeding for three months straight (which I experienced as a constant waking nightmare of dysphoria) and, if I had remained on it for over a couple years (if it had "worked" for me as a solution) would have started to erode my bone density and was therefore not recommended for long-term use.
I know surgery is seen as the most 'extreme' option, but to be fucking honest, I don't understand why dissolving your bones is seen as the 'less extreme' option, when hysterectomies are extremely safe and routine procedures.
and previous to being able to meet with an actual surgeon, I had so many doctors tell me, "Oh, you wouldn't want a hysterectomy because then you'd go into early menopause and your bone density would begin to decrease earlier in your life" which is wild because
as I learned from an actual surgeon, you can just leave ovaries in & remove the rest, so you don't enter hormonal menopause. like it's that easy to avoid it. it's not an additional complication. a subtotal hysterectomy that leaves ovaries so as to not trigger early menopause is completely normal and common.
the "less extreme" option offered would have decreased my bone density more rapidly anyway
I'm so grateful and thankful to be on the other side of the surgery, but I still feel frustrated that there is so much fearmongering from gynecologists themselves about hysterectomies for patients who desperately need and want them. It's seen as a complete last resort, but I genuinely do not believe it should be seen that way in all cases.
If someone genuinely expresses continuous desire for a surgery, whether that be for alleviation of debilitating symptoms, or dysphoria, or both (which was my case), they should be allowed to at the very least talk with a surgeon about what that surgery actually entails and the potential risks and specifications involved. Nobody should just be immediately stopped from pursuing that information from the start with the presumptuous declaration of "Oh, you wouldn't want that."
you guys know dragging down non-binary people isn't going to make binary trans people more liked right .. non-binary people can be trans mascs. they can also be trans fems. stop seeing us as agab lite™. it's gross.
I think we desperately need more focus on exorsexism/nbphobia & analysis of nonbinary place in society that doesn't just generalize binary experiences. It's very very exhausting seeing nonbinary things barely every get discussed UNLESS they can be grouped under transfem/transmasc issues.
& this is kind of hypocritical of me to say because I know that "nonbinary" is such an expansive term on purpose! and I like that! maybe we need different terminology because like both as someone who is equally a man and a woman (androgyne) & as someone who is agender+neutrois there are experiences I have that are not addressed by such binary-focused thinking. Even when people are inclusive of nonbinary people... you still rarely see discussions ABOUT androgynes or neutral people that center us and explore the ways we are treated AS nonbinary people. Like the ways that misandrogyny has made me feel scared of being androgynous & the feeling that androgyny is inherently ugly. The internalized distress of wondering if it's even possible to be transneutral when woman/manhood is so defined by community and there just isn't any of that for us (literally smth that caused a huge depressive episode a few months ago). The lack of awareness about alternative HRT/SRS. The lack of androgynous and neutral and third-gendered language for us to describe ourselves & our relationships. The way that a LOT of binary trans people throughout the modern history of the trans community consider/ed nonbinary identity ad a stepping stone towards binary identity, something lesser that you only do when you can't commit (hello biphobia!), AND as something that somehow makes you safer, you don't suffer as much- as if it's safer being physically androgynous around transphobes when it's your desired presentation- you arent as REAL. Literally transmeds will argue that exorsexism doesn't exist because it's all "just transphobia" and "not unique" (god that sounds familiar). The forced binarization of all of us & also the forced degendering of androgynes who are never allowed to be considered "real" men and "real" women. The idea that two transneutral people who present the same SHOULD be forced into the transmasc/transfem binary based on their AGABs because "that's all cis people see so it's what matters the most," which only serves to disconnect us from each other & silence us calling out the exorsexism we experience from those communities.
This got longer than I meant but tl;dr we deserve better methinks
not to Discourse but I’m a cis man and my partner is an afab enby and if you call us a “straight couple” I will personally come to your house tie you to a chair and make you listen to a podcast about gender identity on endless repeat