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Simon/xavier - Blog Posts

2 months ago

Simon: How much did you spend on this date?

Xavier: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.


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2 months ago

Simon: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.

Xavier: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Nicole: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Claire : One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!


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2 months ago

Simon: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Xavier: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Simon: Seize the dick.


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2 months ago

Xavier: You look good in that hoodie.

Simon: You know where else I'd look good?

Xavier, zero hesitation: My bed.

Simon, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?


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2 months ago

Simon, Nicole, and Claire are sitting on a bench

Xavier: Why do you guys look so sad?

Simon: Sit down with us so we can tell you.

*Xavier sits down*

Simon: The bench is freshly painted.


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2 months ago

Claire: Truth or dare?

Simon: Dare

Claire: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Simon: Hey Nicole

Nicole, blushing: Yeah?

Simon: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Xavier


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2 months ago

Simon: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Xavier: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Simon: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!


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