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Hi, I hope you dont mind me asking you, but do you know anything about agoraphobia caused by avpd? Bc I have avpd and am increasingly becoming more and more scared to leave the house, I cant go to school and yet I have to. Im not sure what to do

Hi there! Sure, I’ll share what I’ve figured out.

What is agoraphobia?

This word is often used for “anyone who doesn’t leave their house.” But it’s actually connected to panic disorder. It’s about avoiding panic attacks, or places it’s hard to escape from – where panicking would be especially rough.

People with agoraphobia feel unable to deal with (or cope with, or ride out) their panic and anxiety. Which is why instead, they try to prevent the attacks by avoiding triggers – staying at home.

So here’s how agoraphobia and Avoidant Personality Disorder are linked.

1. They both rely on avoidance, to the exclusion of any other coping mechanism.

Uncomfortable emotions – fear for agoraphobia, shame for AvPD – get the same solution every time: Avoidance. Anytime we feel bad, we avoid more.

If this goes unchecked, all other coping mechanisms gradually fall away and are forgotten. At first, avoidance seems like the only choice that works; later it seems like the only choice that exists.

This is how people get stuck.

2. They both involve anxiety reinforcement due to avoidance.

In short: The more you avoid something, the more you’ll fear it.

This is a huge part of basically all anxiety issues; it’s why anxiety tends to get worse and worse. Here’s a link (TW for eating disorder mention).

If you avoid something for long enough, doing it feels scary, even if it wouldn’t have been scary otherwise. (Ask me how I know!)

This anxiety builds fast, as soon as you start avoiding something. But luckily, when you start doing the thing again, it decreases quickly too.

3. They both result in withdrawing from the outside world.

There’s a definite tendency to stay at home – for AvPD, too. Why?

I think people feel more able to cope with things, when they’re at home:

There’s no extra embarrassment, no need to hide how upset you feel.

Access to most or all of your best coping resources (like distractions).

(for agoraphobia) Fewer adrenaline triggers – the arousal of your nervous system, which is interpreted/experienced as panic.

(for AvPD) Fewer situations where someone will try to connect with you, risking visibility and rejection.

So when you leave home, you have fewer coping resources to use, and you get more stressors to deal with.

4. They’re both about protecting yourself from an uncontrollable emotional experience.

With both disorders, there’s this terror of being defenseless to your emotions.

People with agoraphobia feel helpless to control their anxiety and panic.

People with AvPD feel helpless to control their shame when criticized.

There’s no way to buffer or shield yourself from what you’re experiencing.

You’re at the mercy of your emotions – they seem out of control.

Being unable to trust your emotions is actually traumatic. That’s why in therapy, one of the things people learn is how to cope with and tolerate their feelings. (DBT specializes in this! Here are some basic lessons.)

Components to think about:

Reliance on just avoidance, rather than a flexible variety of coping skills

Neglect of other coping skills, and other areas of your life/identity

Inertia due to anxiety reinforcement (more avoidance = more fear)

Stuff that seems to help:

Learn how to deal with your feelings. If you can, find someone who will teach you DBT, or study it on your own.

In particular, learn to cope with anxiety. For instance:

breath and relaxation practices,

“worst result, best result, most likely result” reasoning,

planning and preparing for likely outcomes,

reframes: “Today I am practicing. No matter what happens, I’m going to learn something from it. So even showing up is a win.”

Find and try lots of different coping techniques. Experiment!

But – you don’t have to choose the perfect method. Often, what helps you get clarity is the act of stopping to do some self-care.

Identify what your big stressors are.

Look for any adjustments or tools to make it more bearable.

Set aside time, before and after, for self-care.

Start observing yourself.

Don’t judge, just take notes about your reactions to things. There’s no good or bad data – it’s all just useful.

This is especially hard but especially helpful during a crisis. It gives you something to do & focus on – so you don’t feel as helpless.

Getting out of the house is so, so difficult when it’s something you haven’t done in a while. I’m in the same boat, and I’m still figuring it out myself.

Hopefully this gives you some clues about what you’re facing & what you need!

Much love <3