The Slaughter - Blog Posts

“SHITSHITSHITSHIT” “Martin stay with me” “SHIT SHIT SHIT” *sounds of gunfire and bagpipes*

it’s 2028. trump is dead. elon is dead. zuckerberg is dead bezos is dead they’re all dead

THIS IS SO COOL HDJSKSLQKFVRKAK

The Fears

Pixel art for The Magnus Archives :｡･:*:･ﾟ’★ please don’t repost or edit  ｡･:*:･ﾟ’★ Available on redbubble and as cross stitch patterns on kofi!!

Pros and cons and dating the avatars of each entity

The Vast

Pros: Literally the best romantic dates ever. Picnicking in the middle of wide-open skies, or giant lakes that stretch on and on forever.

Cons: Kissing at terminal velocity is not as fun as it's cracked up to be.

The Corruption

Pros: Loves you with an intensity. Very clingy. Very touchy-feely.

Cons: You will live in a literal rat's nest.

The Eye

Pros: Knows all your likes and dislikes, knows exactly what you're feeling and what to say and do to make you happy.

Cons: For some reason soon after you start dating them all your computer privacy settings stop working.

The Spiral

Pros: Knife hands! Doors! Corridors! Slowly losing and questioning your sanity the more you spend time with them! Being unsure if they even exist! Fractals! Patterns! What's not to like??

Cons: None!

The Buried

Pros: The blanket forts...... all the blanket forts.......

Cons: Loves the dirt more than they love you.

The Desolation

Pros: Hot.

Cons: Hot.

The Stranger

Pros: They buy so many skin products that your skin will be almost unnaturally smooth after dating them for a few months. Dances with them are great.

Cons: The number of mannequins in the house is starting to get disturbing.

The Dark

Pros: They snap their fingers and the lights instantly go off. Candlelit romance anytime, anywhere.

Cons: There are only so many conversations you can have about the "beauty of the dark sun" until dinner talk grows stale. Will definitely try to convert you to their creepy cult.

The End

Pros: Pulls off the goth aesthetic extremely well, if you're into that.

Cons: Constantly reminds you that you're either going to break up, get married or die, and muses aloud their speculations about which one it'll be. Also, the only album they ever listen to is MCR's Black Parade.

The Flesh

Pros: Very interesting good in bed.

Cons: You will constantly find yourself sighing, "Jason, tell me the truth. Did you cook human meat for dinner AGAIN?!"

The Hunt

Pros: Extremely passionate kisses. Almost ravenous, you could say.

Cons: furry :/

The Slaughter

Pros: cute when they angy!

Cons: You tried to make a "you're not you when you're hungry" joke once and they nearly stabbed your eye out.

The Web

Pros: I mean who doesn't love extra eyes and legs?

Cons: "vriska did nothing wrong"

The Lonely

Pros: Will give you space whenever you need it. Maybe more enthusiastically than you'd want.

Cons: Wants to see you so little you're not even sure whether you're in a relationship anymore. You talk to them once every three weeks. Embarrasses you at the annual Institute party.

Do you guys think that the statements would taste different for whatever fear it is. I feel like they would, so I made a list of what I think they would taste like.

Spiral: sour rainbow belts

End: green grapes

Eye: mint

Lonely: tomato soup

Vast: cotton candy

Corruption: apple that’s slightly gone bad

Flesh: beef

Hunt: chicken

Slaughter: that one red sour jelly thingy that you put on sour candies frkm like juicy drops

Desolation: spicy chicken

Dark: dark chocolate

Burried: potatoes

Extinction: green apple

Web: purple grapes

Stranger: bubble gum

so imagine being jon after the coma and reading a statement and it’s like BAM!! BUBBLE GUM. !

Currently listening to the Queens funeral from my kitchen and heard bagpipes..

My heart stopped beating for a second