Xavier X Simon - Blog Posts

Xavier, laughing: Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s so embarrassing—

Simon: We’re literally married.

Xavier: Do you want to know your gay name?

Simon: My... my gay name?

Xavier: Yeah, it's your first name-

Simon: Haha. Very funny Xavier-

Xavier, getting down on one knee: And my last name.

Simon: Oh- oh my god.

Simon: I fell—

Xavier: From heaven?

Simon: No, I literally fell—

Xavier: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Simon: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Xavier: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Xavier: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Simon: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

Simon: How much did you spend on this date?

Xavier: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

Simon: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.

Xavier: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Nicole: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Claire : One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

Simon: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Xavier: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Simon: Seize the dick.

Xavier: You look good in that hoodie.

Simon: You know where else I'd look good?

Xavier, zero hesitation: My bed.

Simon, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

*Xavier and Simon skipping stones on lake*

Xavier: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Simon, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

Simon, Nicole, and Claire are sitting on a bench

Xavier: Why do you guys look so sad?

Simon: Sit down with us so we can tell you.

*Xavier sits down*

Simon: The bench is freshly painted.

Claire: Truth or dare?

Simon: Dare

Claire: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Simon: Hey Nicole

Nicole, blushing: Yeah?

Simon: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Xavier

Simon: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Xavier: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Simon: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

No but fr like they need to give Xavier some contacts hes creeping me out😭