Just Some PSA's To Subs:

The essence of Dominance....💜

Choosing Obedience can have many reasons. Making your partner (“Daddy” honorific in the above case) proud is a very common reason, although there are others. Whatever motivates you, Obedience in a BDSM relationship is only possible from a starting position of equality. This is the relevance of feminism in BDSM. No person can truly submit their power to another if they did not start from a position of equality.

The current wave of anti-feminism in “bdsm” blogs isn’t BDSM at all. It is just a self aggrandizing abuse fantasy, almost universally advanced by men with a sadism fetish and no real world way to explore their want for a relationship of any kind. Their fantasy and loneliness leads them to self-delude that they can espouse a philosophy of abusing a person into submission. They delusionally think they can coerce and/or threaten a person sufficiently to create a relationship that is rewarding to them. They’re criminally violent in their abuse fantasies and there’s no place for them in this society except in a therapist’s office.

While the state of abuser blogs remains such a high concentration, there really is no place for the public display of any undisclaimed anti-feminism kink in public facing spaces like Tumblr.

This is the type of empty headed misogyny that shows is so clearly why it is important to educate about how feminism is among the most important topics of our day.

I consider myself a feminist but I can stop feeling good every time my boss screams at me worse if he explains to me something so basic. He is not like that with the guys at the office so I should be angry but I can only imagine him taking me to his office and spank me, using me like a doll telling me that's the only thing I can do right. I would even like that he spank me in a meeting in front of everyone after something I did wrong or forgot to do

I love seeing little feminists admit just what needy helpless cumdumps they are. Give them anonymity and they're never feminists anymore.

A reminder from the therapy couch: just because you’re a service submissive does not mean you should pour out your cup completely and never replenish it. You do both your Dominant and yourself a disservice by disinvesting in your wellbeing.

if she wears cute lingerie for you don’t take everything off, push the panties to the side and fuck her in her cute little outfit.

From reading all the incel toned “bdsm” blogs out there it seems some basic advice is needed:

We Don’t Want To Choose

Being a a man who wants to choke a woman on your cock, and also pull out her chair is not contradictory. Drying her tears when she burns dinner, and wanting to beat her ass with a paddle until she cries, are not contradictory. It’s okay to care about her favorite book, what happened at work, and why she thinks she doesn’t deserve that new sweater. It’s also okay to enjoy that whimpering sound she makes when you pull her hair, and want to smear her makeup with your cock while she edges herself for you. You can hold her when she stubs her toe, and still want to fuck her ass so hard she begs you to stop.

These are the men masochists crave. Men who understand that caring, loving, and tenderness are not weakness. Men who are also not afraid they will break us. Who know that we can be both strong and vulnerable. Men who satisfy our needs and give life to our dark desires. We don’t want to choose. Masochists are greedy, and we want both.

The key here, is to choose the path you want your arousal driven adventures to take, and to then enthusiastically practice what you need to practice in order to bring that life into reality.

Edging with the proper focus, and purpose for practice is an essential part of this.

Be a good girl.

Identify what you want your life to be like.

Use consistency in edging and a goal oriented practice to help yourself manifest it.

If you’re ashamed of your kinks, you just aren’t horny and desperate enough to accept that you’re better off as a complete degenerate. More edging will solve that. Agree and obey.

BDSM can be done for the wrong reasons and if a submissive isn’t willing or able to engage in safe and consensually validated activity that expressly makes them feel successful and healthy in their role then they need to evaluate their experience more thoroughly and contemplatively.

That being said, the pushing of boundaries is an inherent part of bdsm practice. The point here is that if your participation is so significantly one sided that you are consistently failing to communicate about your own interests and needs while feeling harmed, that you are indeed being harmed. Either self-harm or partner abuse. A properly patient and supportive Dom who is trying to help you communicate and trying to help you explore your self-stated interests is not necessarily abusing you. One’s misuse of BDSM as a form self-harm can be a misunderstood element, an actively exploited element, or an element related to support, etc. within a BDSM relationship.

This is why using thorough checklists and then COMMUNICATING thoroughly through those checklists is so important. If a sub is not able to fully take ownership of their interests within a practice then they are not currently giving fully informed consent. Informed consent must include a full understanding of the complexity of self-harm as a component and pitfall of even the most healthy of BDSM practices.

When a submissive has potential self-harm elements that doesn’t automatically mean they should not practice BDSM, but it does mean they and their Dom need to openly discuss these challenges and responsibly navigate them within their practice.