Watch This Video. Really Watch It. See How She Is Challenged By This, And Then So Clearly Feels Pleased

You go too long without practice and your mind strays deep into the shame of your failure to become better.

When the time comes for you to perform you lack focus, skill, and self control. The depraved pornographic imagery and stories your cunt craves embarrasses you in no small part because of instantly it makes you wet, and how easily it makes you cum.

You’ve watched women getting off on being drugged. Gangfucked in dirty public bathrooms. Toilet licking whores getting ass fucked while prettier women hold their faces in the piss water. Brides crawling down the aisle having been collared in a ceremony before her friends and family. You have watched women slap and spank themselves. Write words of self degradation on their bodies only to turn on their camera for an anonymous audience who encourages her to fuck herself on her bedpost in aroused desperation. Public displays of women enthusiastically obeying their owners demands that they hand over their panties to strangers. Orgies of people fucking in nightclubs for swingers. You have watched women suck and fuck horse cocks until they cum all over their faces and inside them.

You have imagined yourself lead, leashed by the collar to the center of a gangbang of strangers. Load after load of cum being dumped into your aching and well used ass and pussy. Smeared across your face. Swallowing for any that will allow you to show your sincere appreciation for being used.

You excitedly watch as subs find and leap into the deep hole that their masters help them into and you want it to be you. By the time your undisciplined arousal looks you deep into the eye your orgasm has abated and your shame keeps you in hiding from the truth until next your craven need demands the filth that pushes you into blissful oblivion.

Practice under direct training so you don’t have to do anything but skillfully obey and develop ever more accurate anticipation of what he wants.

Does he get off on you crawling and licking his boots? Don’t confuse the fact that you want to do something with a mistaken belief that it is because he wants it. So, you want to be told to crawl and to lick his boots. He provides that to you as an opportunity for you to use what you like as a way to get and stay turned on while showing him your utter adoration and fully undivided attention. That serving him with your attention, adoration, and arousal is really what he wants. He wants to push you through challenges while you prove you can maintain yourself.

There it is. There is the practice.

Whatever it may be for you, use that brainstorming as a template to figure out what to do, how to do it, when to practice it, who to practice with, and most importantly WHY.

Beg l, while being sincerely adoring of him and his patience, for your partner/owner to give you another lesson, another chance to learn, a deeper discussion. Beg for the training you so obviously need. The training that will open up the doors for you to experience the kinks that make you cum in your fantasies.

Follow through.

Train.

Practice.

Support your partner/Dominant/owner’s efforts to teach you, to guide you, to liberate you from the societal lie that your sexual identity is to be hidden away when in fact what should be done is this:

Develop it.

Celebrate it.

Appreciate it.

Share it.

Embrace it.

Empower it.

Explore it.

PRACTICE IT.

Become ever more of the sexually adventurous story that gets you and your partner off.

Go to swing clubs. Create networks of new friends by becoming the fun people who are consistent about being at events where you can grow and practice your kinks. Practice between parties so your confidence is high. Let your partner contribute to the skills you learn so you are pleasing to each other. Support their kinks by manifesting and embodying those you can accept and embrace, and expect support from them for your own.

No parties like that around? Host them.

Figure it out. Priorities demand you embrace the time it takes to invest in creating the sexual adventures of your daydreams.

Be patient and consistent while your partner learns how to lead you. Teach and guide them toward what you need as part of your communication and practice.

Become a successful source of education and inspiration for each other and those who will follow behind you.

More than all of that, though, grow your relationship by delving deeply and consistently into the communication and trust required of these adventures together.

Love is an adventure, and you are entitled to experience the sex life you dream up together.

When cock worshiping...

Your goal is not to make him cum. As much as you may love and crave that hot load on your tongue and down your throat, this isn’t about you or what you want, dummy. He will cum when he’s good and god damn ready.

When you’re cock servicing, it’s about providing him with a blissful reprieve from the stress of life. You know, all that stuff he takes care of so you you don’t have to… because you’re no good at it. It is beyond selfish to “go for the cum”. That ache in your jaw, the soreness in the back of your neck, that bit of headache that’s building, the hard floor under your knees… none of that is more important than you communicating your devotion to him by simply loving his dick, and the pleased relaxation he damned well deserves.

Don’t you dare cut it short. He determines if it’s a quick five-minute cum and go, an hour long warm up, or an all night marathon of cum after cum after cum. If he wants a mouth on his dick for two solid days, you either dig deep and dive in, or find a friend and tag team that beast.

Your headspace is your responsibility, but what does that mean?

Practice accessing and identifying your subspace pathways on your own and…

Communicate how that access can be supported so you can…

Practice accessing them with your partner.

Deepen and prolong your experiences in subspace through solo practice, communication, and more time spent working together.

My favorite thing about introducing edging and denial is the predictability of the events that follow:

You’re in utter disbelief that someone would actually deny an orgasm.

Then comes the anger and frustration. How dare someone try to keep you from your orgasm! Perhaps some attitude will need correcting at this stage.

Soon you’ll be begging. Bartering. Negotiating. Trying anything to prove that you deserve that orgasm.

Maybe you’ll cry when you finally realize that it’s truly out of your control. You have no influence. Your body and its pleasure are no longer a priority or even relevant to the conversation.

And when kept denied, you’ll realize: you’re better without an orgasm. You’re a better sub, better plaything, better toy. You’re more obedient. Your partner knows what you need better than you, and you realize they were right: you don’t need to orgasm.

Then the addiction starts.

The neediness in your body settles as a new default state of being… you would feel empty without it. Directionless.

And suddenly, the same sub who said they could *never* handle be denied is confessing that being told no feels better than being allowed to orgasm.

Sometimes obedience needs to be enforced for the betterment of the female. Behavior is learned.

Perfect isn’t possible, but being a person who consistently practices makes you a good girl

Drool hehe

🤤😵‍💫

I’m not going to name the original author of this as I don’t know them personally and feel like calling them out is not necessary. Very often these kinds of posts are just poorly wrought fantasy scenarios where advance consent for a consensual non-consent experience and I see no need to hash that when the point I am making doesn’t require devolving along that irrelevant and argumentative line of discussion.

I am going to rebut the content because it is essential that we remember that BDSM on Tumblr is not a closed and in-community space.

The original post:

My rebuttal:

I am lately trying to give the benefit of the doubt to people who post things like this and assume they are just presenting a fantasy scenario they have a kink for, however this sort of content is important to not just leave floating in the world framed as a legitimate example of any sort of BDSM practice.

People can of course choose to fantasize about rape dynamics all they want, but it is important to occasionally remind people that Tumblr is a public facing space (not an in-community space) and it is never appropriate to publicly pretend to educate people (the original blog name suggests they are a blog for informing people on BDSM topics) by using scenarios where safewords are not allowed or where they will be ignored and not respected.

Submissives deserve more representation for their role and the rights and responsibilities they have in exploring the depths of their role.

This original post is not informative as BDSM training other than as it serves to be an example to subs in how to identify fake dominants.

The use of demanding and colorful phrasing is of course good in trying to trigger a sub’s fantasy-based sexual energy and then to manipulate a triggered sub into falsely believing that if they participate they are then ultimately at fault for the subsequent rape and abuse that is inflicted by the fake Doms who actually think this is a valid BDSM experience.

100% of the originally stated experience can be completely manifest and explored within a responsible framework where the sub has the power to stop the experience with a safeword.

If a Dom requires there be no safeword then they simply and irrefutably lack the skill and competency to function as a Dominant are instead of developing those basic skills they are choosing to harm subs while shifting the blame for that harm onto the sub.

How and why is this true?

A Dominant is a person who guides the submissive into and through experiences the Dominant thinks the submissive needs to have in pursuit of whatever training goals have been mutually agreed to in advance. (This can, of course, include having CNC experiences.)

All of this occurs while the sub is safe and properly cared for so that they are not inadvertently subjected to emotional or physical abuse and trauma that leaves them less whole at the end of their experience more whole (or at the very least on a mutually agreed path to being more whole), which is the only way any BDSM scenario should ever end. Anything else is not part of the BDSM community and is emotionally and/or physically abusive.

The safeword provides the submissive a constant state of awareness that they retain the power to make any experience pause/redirect or stop entirely.

Keeping that power in the submissive’s hands is the mechanism by which the Dominant navigates the sub through their needed experiences. Breaking through a sub’s unwanted boundaries and obstacles is done by working inside the boundaries until the Dominant helps the sub release or cross the boundary willingly.

Even where the suspension of disbelief is so strong they feel they cannot use their safeword, the sub still has a safeword they can use and if there are ever any signs of harm should be checked on by the Dominant before moving forward.

It is a Dominant’s responsibility to check in when a boundary is being dismantled to make sure the submissive wants to continue to experience that boundary’s dissolution. The sub has the power to stop moving forward, but the Dominant has guided them to a point where they can successfully break down the obstacle.

That is what being a Dominant actually looks like and that is why real BDSM Dominance is always 100% safeword dependent.

The safeword is THE SINGLE TOOL that makes a BDSM scenario capable of progressing through a submissive’s chosen challengeable / changeable boundaries responsibly. It is, of course, a given that they will have boundaries that cannot be challenged or changed and the Dominant must not approach those off limits boundaries.

Any “Dominant” who says otherwise is just an abuser with poorly developed interpersonal skills who cannot actually guide a submissive into and through a BDSM experience. They are just someone who wants to get off abusing someone while being able to blame them if it doesn’t go how the sub wanted or needed it to go.

These facts are not open to debate or discussion.

Choosing Obedience can have many reasons. Making your partner (“Daddy” honorific in the above case) proud is a very common reason, although there are others. Whatever motivates you, Obedience in a BDSM relationship is only possible from a starting position of equality. This is the relevance of feminism in BDSM. No person can truly submit their power to another if they did not start from a position of equality.

The current wave of anti-feminism in “bdsm” blogs isn’t BDSM at all. It is just a self aggrandizing abuse fantasy, almost universally advanced by men with a sadism fetish and no real world way to explore their want for a relationship of any kind. Their fantasy and loneliness leads them to self-delude that they can espouse a philosophy of abusing a person into submission. They delusionally think they can coerce and/or threaten a person sufficiently to create a relationship that is rewarding to them. They’re criminally violent in their abuse fantasies and there’s no place for them in this society except in a therapist’s office.

While the state of abuser blogs remains such a high concentration, there really is no place for the public display of any undisclaimed anti-feminism kink in public facing spaces like Tumblr.

at the risk of losing followers, i just wanted to say that it's a very sad day for me.

my following is 90% middle aged white men, and i hope you all hear me out: i like to fantasize about becoming a sex object, but i'm scared that some of you take it too seriously.

i am first and foremost a young woman. i believe that in addition to being somewhat attractive, i am smart, powerful, and on the same level as my male counterparts. for those of you who actually engage in a misogynistic lifestyle outside of kink, please do not interact with me. that disgusts me.

thank you. 💙