List In Your Mind What You Can Manage, And Direct Your Positive Energy Towards Them

Work together on lists like this so the items better reflect what he considers to be proper and enjoyable service

✨️Wish✨️List:

Grope me openly while we're out

Have me wear a cute plug and a short dress out in public to show off

Get me completely wasted and take advantage of me, bonus for cross fading

Use me in front of your friends/ share me with them

Piss in my ass and then put a plug in me. Call me a disgusting toilet while you pat my head.

Make me crawl around naked with a leash on

Have me suck on you all day under your desk

Tie me up and overstimulate me until I'm screaming and crying

Get me a shock collar and shock me randomly for fun. Especially while bringing you things, punish me when I drop them

Make me exercise while full of toys until I collapse

Only let me eat food if you've cummed on it

Make me ask to use the bathroom, tell me no randomly to watch me squirm

Leave cute little marks all over my body, bruises, burns, welts, cuts, etc.

Stretch out my pussy till I cry and then mke fun of me for being loose

Make me get piercings/tattoos for you

Tell me to be quiet or else, then torture my pussy until you can punish me for squealing

Only let me cum while your dick is in my ass so I'm always craving anal to cum

Shove random things in my pussy, laugh when it hurts

Dont let me eat for a few days, tell me its just so you can throw me around easily

Write degrading things all over me, make me go out with it on

Help me take baths and randomly hold me under water while I squirm

Don't let me breathe until I make you cum

Make me dress so that I feel exposed everyday

Don't let me talk for several days

Make me sign a contract to be completely free use for you

Make me sleep on the floor unless I've earned it

Make me clean the toilet with my mouth, shove my head in and piss on me when I'm done

I make you dinner every night but I dont get to eat unless you leave some leftovers for me

Get mad at me for not being wet all the time

Brainwash me so I'm completely obedient ❤️I'm open to more suggestions of course!❤️

Yes Daddy 🤤💜

Here is an (exaggerated/fantasy) example of conditioning as part of training.

Let’s say, for example, that as part of a discussion and negotiation regarding what things might be part of a submissive’s practice goals it is mutually acknowledged that the submissive wants to improve on their cum swallowing.

This might on one hand, simply be a matter of skill training. Practice that removes a gag reflex or disgust reaction is one type of training. This is a type of training that could lead to the submissive experiencing pride in their success at swallowing. This is a type of training that could lead to the Dominant experiencing greater physical pleasure when the submissive is able to perform swallowing in a way that is more pleasing.

However, there is another type of training goal that could also come in to play. The above, exaggerated example is about a submissive being erotically conditioned as part of their training so they develop a sincerely enthusiastic relationship to swallowing cum.

(The example given, isn’t how I would go about such a training, but scrolling past it prompted the thought to write about it.)

For many tasks, like come, swallowing, or anal, sex or exhibitionism, just the performative ability to do the task is not the deeper goal. Rather it is to develop the performance skill as part of developing a new erotic relationship within themselves where an action, like swallowing, is connected to their real and sincere erotic desires in a truly enthusiastic way.

Training to simply perform a task or to develop a specific skill is different as a goal of a BDSM practice as compared to training to develop a different personal relationship within performing a task. Because of this the entire approach to training and practice will be quite different.

It is important to understand the difference between simple skill training and practicing to intentionally develop or change one’s erotic enthusiasm.

Groomed into being a cum addict. Made to swallow cum when forced to give blowjobs. Everything is tainted with cum. My drinks, my food. Even my toothpaste. Which is just straight-up cum on my toothbrush. You do this for months. Making me crave it, making me so addicted! Nothing tastes right. Nothing tastes as good as cum! I beg and plead for it when it’s not added to my food or drink. I crave it so much that even in public, I give blowjobs just so I can get my fix. I'm a whore and all you do to pay is to make sure you cum in my mouth.

Signs of a fantastic Dom

We always talk about “signs of a terrible Dom” so let’s talk about some signs of an actually good Dom

They ask you about your day: They show compassion and actually want to listen about how your day went

They ALWAYS want to keep fields of communication open: Whether you’re in the middle of a kinky-as-fuck scene or you two are in a heated argument, the means of communication is ALWAYS open. Once you give your safe word, IT IS DONE

Aftercare is a top priority. No matter what this is for you in particular, they put a lot of emphasis on aftercare (cuddling, movie watching, bath time, etc.)

They aren’t afraid to scold you when you actually mess up. Sometimes we fuck up, both with our dynamics or we screwed up something at work or school. Doms will scold you, put also help cheer you up and might even offer ways to make it positive

Sex might be apart of the dynamic, but it’s not the focus. I get the fact some people get involved with other BDSM partners for the sole reason of sex, but outside of those VERY SPECIFIC DYNAMICS, sex is NOT the sole focus. It might be a fun “add on”, but it’s NOT the primary objective (penetrative sex or other forms of sex acts).

They are concerned for your safety, but don’t overdo it. They want you safe, but don’t take it to the paranoid level where they need to track every little thing you do.

They respect your privacy. EVERYONE has secrets (”skeletons in your closest”), even among romantic partners who have been partners for a long time, people have stuff they just don’t feel comfortable confessing every little thing in their life. A respectful Dom understands this and doesn’t need to go spying on you or attempt to invade your privacy (track internet history, track phone usage, track where you’ve been, etc.)

They trust you. A Dom who doesn’t trust you will purposely try to fuck up the relationship/dynamic, they will show severe jealousy, and other negative aspects. A Dom that trusts you will respect YOU as a person as well as you to keep your word on different things.

When disagreements happen, they use constructive language. There is not a healthy relationship on this earth that is 100% argument/disagreement free. However, whenever these do happen, it is NOT a “me against you” style argument (”I WON THE ARGUMENT”, none of that). It is done in a way with minimal accusatory/hurtful statements

They respect your hard limits. Doms know hard limits don’t mean “convince me”. They know to stay the fuck away from hard limits with a ten foot freaking pole.

Aftercare. 💙✨

I know most people know what subdrop is, but for the few who don’t I’ll explain.

Subdrop is what happens to your body after you’ve drained your brain of all the hormones and chemicals that it released during a scene or session.

Meaning, after you‘ve come down from your high, you start to feel mentally and emotionally attacked from what just happened. You start to think all these bad things about yourself and how someone normal would not find what just occurred pleasurable in anyways.

That’s why aftercare is important. Showering your sub in compliments,food, cuddle sessions. Just stuff that will make them feel like you care and that you don’t judge them for enjoying what they like.

Another thing, I’m positive that most people don’t know is what topdrop is. It’s the same as subdrop but it affects doms/dommes.

I know some people will be like- “Doms/dommes don’t go through that, nothing like that bothers them.” That’s where you’re wrong.

Remember we’re all human so no one is exempt from feeling used or feeling disgusted with their actions even though they shouldn’t be.

Not many know this but being a dom/domme is exhausting. A good top plans physical punishments or sexual scenes down to the T so their is no room for accidents and after all that planning and executing said plan they sometimes feel bad for doing what they did or even feel used in a sense.

That’s why aftercare is important for both parties. Show them that you care and that you appreciate what they did. Reassure them that they didn’t hurt you in a bad way and that they only did what they did to help you grow. ASK👏 THEM👏 IF👏 THEY’RE👏 OKAY👏!! Especially right after a session.

That can be the difference between showing that you care or not.

AFTERCARE IS A NECESSITY FOR BOTH PARTICIPANTS!!👏💙✨

When you think about having a collar on and having nothing else to think about except whether or not you have kept your owner’s cock hard and his attention held as he imagines different ways to use you in pursuit of his orgasm, it makes your slutty little whore hole drip.

You should ram your fingers in it right now and then smear what your cunt is leaking all over your face and tits, while you thank your master for giving you the opportunity to be nothing more than a dripping hole serving his dick and whatever he might dream up to perversely do to you.

You should bend over and smear your tight little asshole with the drippings from your cunt and then when you’re sure he’s looking at you, ram your fingers in your dirty little hole so that he knows for sure that not only can he ram his dick in whatever hole he wants, but that you are excited about being ready for it. Excited to let him see your need for his cock. Excited to let him see your craving to be of service.

Suck your fingers right out of your asshole to remind him that you understand what you are. Show him that you have only as much dignity as his cock prefers for you to have. Show him that your holes exist to be of service to whatever degrading perversions he wishes to exercise upon you or through you.

Ask him if his friends will be joining you or whether he is going to be the only one stretching and using all of your holes for the evening.

Ask him what objects would entertain him to see you fuck inside of yourself as you spread your legs wide and stroke fingers in and out and all around your dripping cunt.

Be consciously proactive in stimulating his imagination by inviting him to think of you in perverse ways. Lead his thoughts directly into connecting you to your collectively preferred perversions. Do this by actively leading his thoughts toward imagining using your body as entertainment in service of the perversions you think might be among the preferences for the moment.

Ask him if there’s a bottle in the cabinet that you might be allowed to fuck before pouring him a drink from it.

Ask him if there are any utensils in the kitchen he plans on using later so that you might fuck yourself with them and leave them out on the counter for him hoping to encourage him to think about the way you are enthusiastic about providing him sexual service in the mundane things from daily life.

Another easy example: When you are going to change clothes into your pajamas, ask him if he has any preferences about what you wear and offer to show him what different outfits will look like.

Don’t just come out in the different clothes, present yourself as part of the story these clothes fit into. If you aren’t sure, ask him to tell you stories about what kind of girl, perversion. and experience he thinks accompanies your outfits. Give your mind the space to accept that whatever he says is in service to creating arousal and that your role in this is something he is excited about. The perversions may at first be intense or unsettling to hear or realize are being imagined about you. Try to relax and lean into finding ways that these perversions can arouse you. The first couple examples are easy ways to get his direct involvement, if you are having difficulty with the other options.

Put on an open cup bra that lifts and presents your tits, a tight pair of panties with an open crotch, and a slave collar. Crawl out with a leash or a paddle held in your teeth. Tell him you’re having trouble deciding what to wear to bed and that you need instruction. Tell him you don’t know what would make him want to use you for his pleasure the most, but that is the outfit that you want to pick. Beg him for help.

Come out naked carrying nothing but his belt and tell him you’re having trouble deciding what to wear to bed and that you think if only he would give you a little bit of an attitude adjustment and some guidance that you’re sure you’d be able to pick out just the right thing.

Put on a little schoolgirl style nightgown with a cute little character on your panties and ask him if He thinks this outfit would make her perverted Daddy’s cock hard if she wore it to around the house and then to bed.

Put on a body harness and a dog collar and ask if a good little doggy could earn her way to sleeping in the bed with her owner.

Put on one of his T-shirts and some panties that get very easy to finger into your pussy when you’re wet and ask if he’d like to get you really high and take advantage of you.

Put on something very elegant and ask if you might be able to discuss opportunities for him to whore you out like a high-end call girl.

Come out wearing some bridal lingerie and ask him if you could start planning your next gangbang or other slutwife adventure.

Come out wearing some super slutty hooker street walking clothes and tell him you’re not sure where your wife went, but that you are happy to let him fuck you for free in exchange for some feedback on what kind of slutty outfits a cheap whore like you should wear to bed.

Etc… etc…

In regards of the Trump government scraping all trans inclusion in its queer information portion of its websites I have made this thing. Spread the word. Don't let them pretend we never existed.

P.S: Don't like! Reblog! <3

EDIT: Well this got a lot of attention! I got a few users asking to print or repost my art and I am unimaginably grateful to everyone's interest, especially since it's a really simple drawing I made on a whim haha! Anyone who is looking to print these out to hang or hand out or repost on another platform is free to do so, although I ask you to credit me and let people know it's from my Tumblr profile! If anyone wishes to do anything else with my art or post and wants to clarify what I consent to then they can message me privately and I'll explain! <333 all my love to my queer siblings

EDIT: I made an LGBTQIA+ version with a focus on trans and intersex folks, it's on my pinned if you prefer this version of the acronym.

Oh my god being told to "Bend over and show me".... Like leaning over the counter or the side of the couch and spreading my legs a little to hold my ass and thighs apart so you can see what a mess I am? That right there makes my brain melt

My D/s Isn’t Perfect

My dash is full of beautiful women kneeling peacefully, perfectly composed men holding a drink, and proclamations of the things “true” Doms/Daddies/Masters do.

“True” Doms never lose their cool, get sick, feel cranky, need time off, cry, or ever disappoint their subs… 

But mine he does. 

“True” subs are never defiant, disagreeable, grouchy, bratty, defensive, pouty, or misbehaved.

But I am.

Real D/s has depth. It has problems. It has bad days. We don’t publicize the days it feels impossible, where one or both of us is tired/cranky/hungry/stressed out, and definitely not when BOTH of us feel that way.

Sometimes I can’t find my surrender; I feel defensive, sensitive, self-righteous, and victimized. You don’t see how I sometimes struggle to kneel in front of him, swallowing my pride and biting my tongue. Or the times I check out, switch off, tune out, just get through my tasks and purposely not feel a thing.

My Master has done all of the things that the internet says he’s not supposed to. But for me, by showing me his vulnerability and allowing me to love him through the messiness, that’s what makes him REALLY a true man.

This is the dynamic I’ve always dreamed of and fantasized about and I consider myself lucky to live it 24/7 in real life with a partner that I adore. I truly believe we make one another better in this dynamic, living out our chosen roles.

But it’s far from perfect. And I actually think we’re both better for the struggles. I’ve found an incredible amount of growth, transformed my life, and found deeper levels of intimacy, connection, desire, and communication than I could have ever imagined in the trials we’ve had together.

It’s not what you see on Tumblr, but it’s real.

You can't be obedient only when you feel like it or only when it suits you. If you promise Him your obedience then give Him your obedience. Always.