Aaa-bdsm-instruction - A Collection Of Instructive Thoughts

Your body must be rested and fed if you wish to be a pervert.

Signs of a fantastic Dom

We always talk about “signs of a terrible Dom” so let’s talk about some signs of an actually good Dom

They ask you about your day: They show compassion and actually want to listen about how your day went

They ALWAYS want to keep fields of communication open: Whether you’re in the middle of a kinky-as-fuck scene or you two are in a heated argument, the means of communication is ALWAYS open. Once you give your safe word, IT IS DONE

Aftercare is a top priority. No matter what this is for you in particular, they put a lot of emphasis on aftercare (cuddling, movie watching, bath time, etc.)

They aren’t afraid to scold you when you actually mess up. Sometimes we fuck up, both with our dynamics or we screwed up something at work or school. Doms will scold you, put also help cheer you up and might even offer ways to make it positive

Sex might be apart of the dynamic, but it’s not the focus. I get the fact some people get involved with other BDSM partners for the sole reason of sex, but outside of those VERY SPECIFIC DYNAMICS, sex is NOT the sole focus. It might be a fun “add on”, but it’s NOT the primary objective (penetrative sex or other forms of sex acts).

They are concerned for your safety, but don’t overdo it. They want you safe, but don’t take it to the paranoid level where they need to track every little thing you do.

They respect your privacy. EVERYONE has secrets (”skeletons in your closest”), even among romantic partners who have been partners for a long time, people have stuff they just don’t feel comfortable confessing every little thing in their life. A respectful Dom understands this and doesn’t need to go spying on you or attempt to invade your privacy (track internet history, track phone usage, track where you’ve been, etc.)

They trust you. A Dom who doesn’t trust you will purposely try to fuck up the relationship/dynamic, they will show severe jealousy, and other negative aspects. A Dom that trusts you will respect YOU as a person as well as you to keep your word on different things.

When disagreements happen, they use constructive language. There is not a healthy relationship on this earth that is 100% argument/disagreement free. However, whenever these do happen, it is NOT a “me against you” style argument (”I WON THE ARGUMENT”, none of that). It is done in a way with minimal accusatory/hurtful statements

They respect your hard limits. Doms know hard limits don’t mean “convince me”. They know to stay the fuck away from hard limits with a ten foot freaking pole.

Everyone learns in different ways.

Reinforcing lessons, to a point of acceptance of that lesson, might require a variety of approaches until it is finally understood to a point that it no longer needs to be taught.

Acceptance leads to sincerity of practice.

If you lack sincerity in your practice then you are still in need of the lessons and the consequences that come from not yet understanding the importance of the practice.

🇨🇦𝛂♂

Acceptance of your sexual identity as a submissive with extreme kinks means, in part, being able to have pride and resilience against what negative things you imagine others might be thinking about you and your choices.

Celebrate yourself.

just some PSA's to subs:

hard doms really are like that. they aren't joking.

it's okay not to be into certain kinks. aftercare. ect. set the boundary.

babe, him being an online dom doesn't mean he's experienced. on that note, MOST doms are only online doms with no experience.

learn how to get yourself off. and never be scared to tell him how to.

there's someone into that weird thing you like.

oh, there's also someone into that deep dark one you'd never admit. trust me. it's literally fine.

hookup with other subs. trust me.

take care of your bodily health first.

ask for what you need. ask for it. if they refuse to give it to you. find someone who will.

EVEN AS A SUB. TAKE NO SHIT. DONT BE WALKED ON.

Some women like it. That’s their right to choose a life that aligns with their submissive sexual identity.

The “all women are below men” nonsense we see so much of is written by naive simpletons for the most part. The few who aren’t simpletons are grifters.

Fyi. A woman can

love daddys dick.

Love to be spanked.

Love choking on dick.

Love being a babygirl.

And still hate men that try to take her rights away. Hate men that degrade them and think of them a property. Hate men that think women are just breeding cows and should just cook clean and raise kids. . Don't call me names. Don't spit on me. Don't degrade me and don't take away my rights to my body.

If you have a problem with this just go to someone else's blog. Don't try and debate me. I am just a woman with daddy issues living in a world that is trying to hold me down

Just let it happen

80% of being a woman/cock doll is letting things happen to you. He asks for your phone number, you let him have it. He asks you on a date, you let him take you.

The difficult part comes after the niceties. It can be hard to let go, and let other things happen to you. It may help to consider yourself as a well, and he’s the bucket. You exist to give, he exists to take. If the well is dry, it can’t give anything. If it can’t give anything, it’s useless. (A bucket, on the other hand, will always be useful in any other well.)

He wants to come upstairs, don’t hesitate. Let him. He wants to take photos, let him. He wants your asshole? Well, what did you expect? You let him take you out, you let him do the nice things. Now it’s time to let him do everything else. Men are designed to want and you’re designed to give.

Hubby has been more demanding recently. When he bosses me around, I let him. This may sound like I’m topping from the bottom, but it’s not what I mean. I “let him” in that when he tells me what to do, I’ve actively tried not to resist. He half-jokingly told me to stop talking the other day. The old me may not have let that happen, snapping back with some remark, needing to have the last word to seem strong or witty. But I let myself be silenced, and it was like the endorphins rushed straight to my clit. I am a well full of willfulness that Husband is taking away, one bucket at a time. I’m happier because I let him.

We get so nervous over stupid things. What will other people think? Is this too humiliating? What if he’s just using me?

Let him.

Listen to that voice inside you that says “obey.” Being smart, talented, artistic- these are all good qualities, but they won’t be as important as your servility. You can cash in on them a bit, in that your loss of dignity will be that much greater, your fall, that much harder. But you’ll be simultaneously released from the pressures of being those things.

So when you think you have something important to say, and he decides to put tape over your mouth? Let him. Be grateful that he can see past what you think you need. Give in, let yourself be silenced.

Because when you let him, you can finally allow yourself to love, honor, and obey.

Xoxo Dbts