The Magnus Archives Sure Is A Podcast Huh

"I do! It's me! I'm listening! And a hefty bunch of other people around the world-"

Sea Grunks Intro

Good god, I have been working on this for a while. What originally started out as small storyboard pro practice, ended up becoming an actual project. There was a good amount of time when I wasn’t sure I would finish it, but here it is. I hope you enjoy it!

Okay we all talk about Martin being a Mechs fan but consider: Melanie’s the fan.

She adores their music. Angry lesbians, hell yeah. Goes to a bunch of their concerts. Really loves Natsya and Ashes, but has a secret glaringly obvious soft spot for Jonny D’Ville, asshole supreme. She decidedly doesn’t like a one Jonathan Sims.

Cue Georgie mentioning off-hand one night that hmm, is that a Mechs song? And Melanie is excited, because a gf who’s a fan? Double win. Then Georgie mentions that Jon was in the band in college, and Melanie just...bluescreens.

Gertrude Robinson threatening people has the biggest dick energy I've witnessed in a while, pass it on.

i think it’s time to check on my fellow jon kinnies. how are you guys doing during this not so fine day? not well i presume. i sure am not. we should start a therapy group.

It starts like this...and then you grow attached to the fucker.

I seriously need therapy cause low key he is kinda attractive

So... How do I feel about Jonathan Sims trying to clear Elias Bouchard's name because he did nothing wrong other than smoke weed, have a very weird job interview and become the recipient for that pompous voyeur that goes by the name Jonah Magnus?

*crying* G-Good. I'm not having feelings for the bastard man, you are. Shut up.

And I know it could've just been Jon trying to just go all: "That is not correct. Because according to the encyclopedia of 👁️✨"

But let me just i m a g i n e.

So... Could we talk about volume 94 for a sec?

Like, first oh all, Eiichiro Oda, how dare you. I've been crying for an entire day about characters that I swore I wouldn't care about.

So: Here we are at the beginning of the chapter, where there's the explanation of why SMILEs are bad etc. etc. etc. AND I'M ALREADY BAWLING MY EYES OUT.

Then the narrative switches to Luffy being chaotic on main, I thought I was gonna have fun, but no. Those two come in.

A classic. Kidd's *angy* and Kamazo's laughing like the maniac that he is-

Oh wait.

What if he... isn't a maiac...but is in fact a SMILE eater?

That would make sense, but why would Kaido not keep this man with him? Is he a native from Wano, from the poor district?

Then Kidd, who I read went back to prison with Kamazo without making too much of a fight (which is already fucking suspicious) decides to speak.

And. I. Start. Crying.

He starts talking about the crew and "WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?" and Killer can't stop laughing because he literally c a n ' t express any other emotion anymore and I CRY SO HARD.

In each and every scene Killer keeps laughing and laughing, and the more he does that the more I realize that he's doing that instead of crying and I feel bad about not caring more about the Kidd Pirates-

Like...look at them.

They look so broken.

I have to admit, even if

One; Simon Fairchild is my favourite of the Old Eldritch Horror Man Trio

And two; I'd probably be an avatar of the Vast and at the end of the day I'd be treated just the same;

I almost laughed through the tears when I learned that he got fucking kneecapped by an angry mob.

Man, self-shipping goes so hard. It’s so fun. I love having guilt free fun and being able to be silly. Everyone should try it.