Derek Hale Appreciation Week 2021 Day 7:

Derek Hale Appreciation Week 2021 Day 7:

Sunday Nov 28 - Dealer’s Choice // Sadness

(Will likely write a full fic for this eventually)

Killing Peter was simultaneously one of the hardest things I’ve had to do and worryingly easy to do. I know he deserved it, that it needed to happen. But he was still the only family I had left. I expected it to be harder than killing Paige, but oddly it’s not. I worry what that means about me.

“Derek you’re freaking out, stop. It’ll probably affect you more when things settle, but even if it doesn’t there is nothing to freak you out about. It was sadly necessary and you’ll deal with it in your own time, don’t rush it.”

I whip my head towards him and really he must be right since I didn’t even know he was there.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’ll tell you the truth only because you’ll know if I lie. I felt the need to check on you. So I didn’t even question it, I just did it.”

“That’s weird because I’m pretty sure you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, I never did, I just didn’t trust you in the beginning. Though you do hate me. Which isn’t new.”

“I don’t hate you. You just annoy me.”

“Oh. Well then I’m going to tell you something that might help you digest what happened. My mother got sick and eventually she forgot that she ever had a child. She thought I was a demon sent to kill her. She tried to kill me five times before my father found out and put her into the hospital. I never hated her for it. She did what she felt she had to.”

“How is that supposed to help the situation of me actually killing my uncle?”

“Your sane family and possibly even Peter will understand you did what you had to do. It sucks completely and I get that. But it was what needed to be done. It was necessary and it was better it being you, than it being Scott. I love that boy I do, but he’d make a shit Alpha.”

“You really believe that?”

“Yes. Scott is kind of a shit werewolf as it is. He does not need the upgrade. The bite was wasted on him. He hates it but exploits it to his advantage.”

“That’s really aware of you. To see that. Despite him being your best friend.”

“I’ve never been blinded, well not in that kind of way. I know his faults. Just like I can understand Peter but know that he also deserved what got to him. He was mostly feral and insane, though I’m not totally sure how bad it was. Because he offered me the bite and actually took no for an answer despite saying I was lying.”

“Do you want the bite though? Just not from him? That could be why it read as a lie.”

“I’m not sure honestly. I don’t think I know what I want. Part of me wants to stay human, but part of me thinks Peter wasn’t wrong when he said I’d make a great wolf. At least much better than Scott.”

“I also think you could make a great wolf, you’re already fairly wolflike as it is. And you could better keep Scott in check as a wolf. Or become your own person.”

“I don’t think Scott would be okay with me willingly taking the bite, especially from you. But I also think that I need to make my own decisions for once. Because I’m going to be involved either way, whether I’m human or wolf. I’m also not sure I would actually turn into a wolf. I read somewhere that sometimes the shape you take reflects who you are inside. I feel like I’m more of a fox and I’ve read that that is possible. But wouldn’t that not be good?”

“That is possible, but it wouldn’t change anything really.”

“So I wouldn’t be left alone if I end up being another type of were?”

“Never. If I bite you and you want to stay in my Pack, you’d always be welcome.”

“I’ll give it some thought. I can let you know later, right. You’ll be willing to accept me even if I don’t decide now, right?”

“Yes, Stiles. I don’t want you to rush into this decision. You could probably not even let Scott know if you do take me up on my offer. You’d have better control than even me I think. So you could play human until you were ready for people to know.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Yes, also I think you’re already a little something and it might translate over if you get the bite as well. I think the bite would strengthen the magic you have in you. Since I’m pretty sure that you’re a Spark, which is the only kind of magic that works well with the bite.”

“So that would be really good for us right? I could still do things I normally wouldn’t be able to do as a were, correct? So I could probably still use mountain ash and stuff while being a wolf or whatever I end up being.”

“Exactly what I think. Also that way you really could pretend to be human for as long as you wanted. Because you taught Scott control in a day, something that would have taken me a month if not longer. And now he’s even okay on full moons. So I think you would have control easily, especially since you already have such self control.”

“Are you just saying this because you want to build up your Pack? Or do you really believe it? Also, are you only willing to turn me because you think I’d be useful?”

“I really believe that you would be an asset, but that’s not the only reason I want to turn you. I want to turn you, because like you said you’re going to be involved either way, it’d be better for you to be able to heal like us. I’d feel safer having you around if you were able to heal like us. But I would never force you to get the bite. It would just make me feel less guilty.”

“If I take the bite, I’d want to tell my dad. Though I’d want it to stay in between the three of us. Until I was ready for it to be different.”

“I understand that and I think it might be for the best for your father to be in the know. But Scott won’t be happy, so you’d probably want to tell your dad that he shouldn’t let Scott know that he knows. Because he’ll think that your father will tell his mom, which wouldn’t be a bad idea, but Scott would not be happy.”

“That is a good point. Would you tell my dad with me? As my Alpha, wouldn’t that be something that you should do?”

“If that’s what you would want. You’re dad kind of hates me right now. But if you want me to be there I would be there to help, even risking getting shot.”

“At least he wouldn’t be able to kill you. But it would hurt like hell. I’d feel bad if he did shoot you.”

“Maybe you can convince him to not have his gun so he doesn’t shoot me.”

“Fair enough, I could probably convince him.”

“Does this mean that you trust me?”

“Dude I attacked Chris because of what his sister did to you, clearly I trust you to risk bodily harm for you.”

“You did what?”

“He came after Jackson and I at the hospital and Jackson was an idiot once again and couldn’t lie in the face of Hunters. So when Chris attacked me, I went off on him because by that point even my dad knew mostly who it was. The fact that he was willingly blind about it pissed me off, so I went off. Then Jackson and I came to save the day, kind of.”

“You did that for me?”

“Yes, you moron. What happened was not your fault. I know you won’t believe me, at least not yet. But it really wasn’t your fault. You were a child and what she did was on her, not you.”

“You actually believe that. I don’t know how, but I want to believe you. Maybe in time I will be able to believe you.”

“I’ll be willing to tell you until you believe it. Because only after you accept yourself would you be able to truly become the Alpha you’re meant to be. I’d like to help you get to that point.”

“I bit Jackson and I think it was a mistake.”

“Derek, fuck man. Why do you think it was a mistake?”

“His body seems to be rejecting it, but he’s also not dying. So something else might be going on with him. It honestly scares me.”

“Which means he’s becoming something abnormal more than likely. Because if he’s not dying, but is not getting furry, it means he’s becoming something else.”

“That’s what I’m scared of, yeah. None of the things that could mean are good news for us. I’m biting Issac Lahey tonight, his dad is an abusive piece of shit and being a wolf could help him.”

“He’s both a good and terrible choice. Erica Reyes should be next. Or me than them. Do you know who else you’re going to bite?”

“Boyd, I think. Issac said something about him.”

“Okay good to know. I should probably get the bite before Erica, because I think she’s going to come after me slightly. Not intentionally, but because she won’t know and she’ll see me as a loose end of Scott’s.”

“So you’ve decided you want the bite?”

“Yes. As long as you’ll trust me, I think it’ll be a good idea. Though at least in the beginning, I’ll only be on your side behind the scenes.”

“Okay, Stiles. If you’re sure I can bite you now and we can talk to your dad tomorrow.”

“That sounds good to me. I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine on the full moon, but make sure you keep an eye on Issac. He’ll have an extra hard time I believe.”

“Okay.”

I give him the bite and take him home. We’ll see how he is tomorrow. I’ll come see him after biting Issac.

@softranswolves