My Wife And I Were Walking Around The City And When We Saw A Dumbledore Poster We Immediately Turned

Helluva ships - featuring Radioapple

Mammon does in fact tattle to Lucifer about Asmodeus and Fizz's relationship. Let's say the Helluva timeline lines up with Lucifer and Alastor getting closer sometime after season 1.

Lucifer doesn't know why Mammon bothered, even if Lucifer didn't have whatever was going on between him and Al -- he still wouldn't give a fuck. And he'd give even less of a fuck considering Mammon was still committing copyright infringement for his park, the audacity of that man was astronomical.

Still, Mammon calls a meeting to spill the tea because even he knows Lucifer is a hermit who does not keep up with the drama of Hell's so-called elite.

Asmosdeus finds out and therefore Blitzø finds out. So they all crash the meeting to give Mammon what-for. Fizz and Blitzø because they've never met Lucifer and think he's going to be pissed. Moxxie and Millie because Blitzø lied about where they were going and refused to let them leave. Stolas for moral support (and he's also never met the King, sue him, he's excited despite the circumstance) and Ozzie because he couldn't stop them so he might as well join them.

Following multiple very unnecessary pit-stops and shenanigans, they finally arrive at the palace---and it's too late.

Alastor has already kicked Mammon out and now he and Lucifer are doing paperwork, gossiping, and fighting over the (according to Alastor) tacky interior design of the palace.

The Helluva gang bust in (Blitzø is on a horse for some reason, he's very happy about this) and it's very anti-climatic.

Asmodeus: so you...don't care that I'm in love with an imp?

Lucifer, dad mode: You're in love? I'm so proud of you!

Blitzø: Just to be clear, I'm fucking this bird, there's nothing you can do about it

Lucifer: Okay??

Alastor: Darling, they think you care about hell's hierarchy

Lucifer: Oh! Yeah, uh-no. That'd be pretty hypocritical of me considering [gestures to Alastor]

The Helluva crew leave the palace once Lucifer and Alastor start bickering again looking like they've escaped a hurricane, wondering if they should be sending the King of Hell a 'Congratz on the Divorce' card.

Moxxie: ...does this mean we have two Kings now?

Dad Jokes - AppleRadio

I don't think I've read a single fic where Alastor and Lucifer get together because they make each other laugh. I need to see them being cringey old-ass qpr pals with combined -1000 rizz somehow charming the other by having horrible taste in humor.

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No one remembers who started it but hardly a day can go by without Alastor and Lucifer trading dad jokes back and forth like a hot potato.

As soon as one catches sight of the other BOOM cringe-ass pun and without fail the other will burst into uncontrollable laughter.

And the jokes are bad. Like really bad. Not even Charlie can find the silver-lining (and she has tried). Listening to them laugh at those truly horrible jokes sparks an avalanche of second-hand embarrassment on the part of everyone within ear shot.

It eventually gets to the point that just looking at each other triggers a Pavlovian response where they just giggle and wheeze before the other can even tell a joke.

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Someone: Really? You want to be with that guy?

Alastor or Lucifer: He makes me laugh :)

Larry: I figured he'd love it or hate it, y'know

Cliff: So he seems to kinda love it

Larry: He's been playing with it all day, and refuses to come back to me. Think that's good?

Cliff: What if he loves it cos plasma balls and shit are like crack to negative spirits. What if you're giving your baby hard drugs right now

Larry, falling over running to turn it off: SHITSHITSHITSH-

Combat-Fashionista Paulina AU

Paulina is horrified by the ugliness of patented Fenton wearable combat technology like the Specter Deflecter and Fenton Peeler. (Fenton Lipstick is okay though). So she decides to design something just as efficient in combat but with style. 

Paulina moves to Gotham to get sponsors and test out her new combat fashion line. Her first shop is set up in Crime Alley.

For maximum amounts of hilarity, imagine her in the same AU as GCPD!Dash and Science Teacher!Fenton. 

Tom and Myrtle: An IdeaTM

Okay, I'm sick and my sickness brain decided to go down this path:

Tom Riddle must really regret killing Moaning Myrtle for the two years he has left at Hogwarts. He's a prefect, and later a Head Boy, meaning he has access to that bathroom reserved for the prefects, bathroom that dear old Myrtle has canonically invaded for the sake of spying on naked boys (and maybe girls too, who knows).

I headcanon that Riddle gets terrified (in the most angry way) of Hogwarts bathrooms after the first time she appeared floating above the pool while he was bathing. She never knew he was the one responsible for her death, nor is she ashamed of showing her interest in him (like 95% of the school's population back then).

Anyway, crack fic where Moaning Myrtle is a terror and Tom can't even have a quiet time at the loo without her finding him. This + having split his soul once already = an even more volatile Tom Riddle who jumped at the occasion to kill his Muggle family. Oh he had other plans for them before that, imperio them into giving him their money, stealing their house and making himself heir of their entire fortune for one, but after all that time trying to evade a fucking ghost, he kills them because he can't kill her anymore. And exorcism who? Under Dumbledore's nose? Unlikely!

I probably will now, eventually, Nobby Leach is such a blank slate that I don't feel any pressure with keeping him canon.

But Tom Riddle? Now that little shit is frustrating to keep in character. I have so many headcanons for him it's difficult to adhere them to canon. Btw definitely gonna post a new thread about those in a bit. You guys got me on a roll.

The poison-dragonpox headcanon with Abraxas is also one of my favorites. I would absolutely write that.

Its supremely unfair how under utilized Nobby Leach is in fanfic.

He's a blank slate! The 1st Muggleborn British Minister of Magic but we know very little about him personally or even the circumstances of his election.

Voldemort rose to power in the late 60s-early 70s. Leach was minister sometime between 1962-68. And Leach was supposedly threatened from returning to his position or possibly assassinated.

Do you think poor, working-class, assumed Mudblood of Slytherin Tom Riddle didn't see these shady dealings and go "Okay so taking the legal route to power won't work."

If having power was Tom's only goal then he absolutely would've taken a quicker route to it. But instead Nobby Leach's failure just proved the system was too broken to fix from the inside.

(Quick disclaimer, I think Riddle only used the blood-purity thing to get an in with the purebloods who were running the country. There are better posts that expand on this idea in detail so I'm not going to get into it too much here. Okay? Okay.)

We know so little about Leach that he could conceivably have gone to Hogwarts at the same time as Tom Riddle. Did they know eachother? That's up to you, but if they went to school together then they definitely knew OF eachother.

So here you have Nobby Leach who hit the ground running after graduation, who clawed his way to being the FIRST muggleborn Minister of Magic in a government made up of bloodpurists, and then he just...resigned? Fuck that. That doesn't fit at all.

And anyone with half a brain would've picked up on that. Tom Riddle could not have missed how uncharacteristic this would be if he knew Leach, or heck just noticed the sheer will and patience it takes to become THE Muggleborn Minister of Magic.

On that note, there might've been some sort of Muggleborn movement happening in the background following Grindelwald's defeat. After all it takes more than one person to achieve this kind of victory.

So Tom Riddle watches (or is apart of 👀) a fast-paced, determined movement place the FIRST Muggleborn Minister of Magic and then watches as this victory silently tumbles down into forgotten history.

Meanwhile Tom builds the Death Eaters who also work outside the system via raids and murder despite the fact that they all work inside of it already. Theres already lots to unpack with THAT decision but moving on... Once the Ministry finally gets its shit together and arrests the (clearly labeled with Dark Marks) perpetrators, throwing them in wizard prison eventually reaching the point where they would be thrown in without a trial (Sirius Black), the Pureblood lawmakers all of a sudden realize "oh fuck, this is getting real."

And now what do they have to do to avoid suspicion in this very Red Scare-esque era of spying and tattling on eachother (it worked for Karkaroff) to avoid wizard prison? Play nice with the Muggleborns.

TL;DR

Nobby Leach: went the legitimate route to making change by working WITHIN the system. He rose fast and fell silently.

Tom Riddle: went the shady route to power by working OUTSIDE the system, painstakingly working for decades to build a support base, and falling in notoriety.

There needs to be more fics with them as foils to eachother. And if it has to be me, I warn you it will take YEARS to finish.

i need the bbcu (benoit blanc cinematic universe) to be a franchise right up there with the mcu and star wars and the dceu. i want it to be an unspoken notion in hollywood that if you retire from acting having never been in a knives out mystery you have failed as an actor. again not a want but a need please and thanks

Jason: *picks up a hitchhiker*

After a few miles...

Hitchhiker: Aren't you afraid that I might be a serial killer?

Jason: Nah, the odds of two serial killers being in the same car is highly unlikely.

Undercover Angel AU - Part 2

<- Part 1 - Part 3 ->

Still unsure about my Angel!Alastor design. Mostly just regarding his color palette. I like the idea of his Heaven colors being nearly opposite of his Hell colors. I also love the idea of his angel version being closer to how he looked when he was alive.

Tagged people and lined page below ⬇️

Just wanted to include the lined page cuz I like it.

@exvangelical-christian-nerd (cuz you asked to be tagged :3)

Also, link to an additional sketch of Angel!Alastor’s design

Alastor 100% has Curly Hair

I saw a post of someone making fun of Alastor's undercut but it just made me think. I have curly hair, and once I brush it out it's thick and fluffy af. I have an undercut too and my hair still fluffs up away from my skull at absurd degrees!

The fact that Alastor's hair is still so fluffy even (especially) with the undercut is a point in favor of him having curls. Bro just straightens the hell out of it.

In conclusion, I need curly haired Alastor fics and fanart desperately.