Clyde Barrow Was Definitely A Killer, But It Is Highly Likely That Bonnie Didn’t Kill Anybody! She

Yes Belphie get that sizzurp we are getting TRASHED

Lucifer: Simeon is throwing a party. He wants to know your favorite sodas.

Mammon: Fanta is good.

Satan: I don't drink soda, I'll just have juice.

Beelzebub: Please don't make me choose.

Belphegor: Carbonated Nyquil

Lucifer: ...

Mammon: ...

Satan: ...

Beelzebub: Belphie nO

And if you’re really worried about stress eating or being unhealthy during the pandemic, you can do better things than shit yourself silly after drinking whatever diet tea you saw on Instagram. Besides the fact that they don’t work, a lot of diet programs you find on social media will either harm you (because they’re extremely restrictive or call for taking some unregulated supplement containing hell knows what) or your wallet (because when you order a program they’ll steal your credit card number or sign you up for some autoship mess).

Go for a walk, do some yoga, play with a dog, make something healthy but tasty, like an omelet with veggies or pancakes with fruit (yeah, I love breakfast food, come at me bro). Doing these things might not even make you lose weight, but they will make you feel good.

Or engage in my favorite form of self care, dousing yourself in Vaseline and sliming around the floor while you play at being a slug.

You don’t owe it to anybody, at any time, and especially not during a global pandemic, to be a certain size or shape. You are making it through an unprecedented disaster and that makes you a certified fucking badass.

I love you all and I support you in doing whatever you gotta do, you rock star.

Diet companies will be hitting hard this year. Be prepared to hear repeated sentiments of “It’s time to get rid of that Quarantine 15” and “In these hard times, commit to taking care of yourself with healthy living and weight loss.”

This rhetoric is going to be everywhere. And due to the nature of modern advertising, the vast majority of it will be coming from people online who just look like they’re trying to share some good advice with the followers that they love so much. You’ll barely be able to see the money getting thrown at them from the weight loss industry.

Don’t reward them for using these manipulation techniques - Buying their products and losing weight isn’t going to make your year any better, or erase the stress of the pandemic, or be the first step in self-care.

Please please please see these ads for what they are - A way of preying on your insecurity and trauma in order to make money.

Me encanta!

If I could draw I’d do Obey Me x my birthplace in Appalachia. Which would be camo pants and a black tank top from Walmart with Tweety Bird and the slogan “Hot Bitch” bedazzled on the front. Also the twins would be fistfighting Mammon for trying to tip a cow, and Asmo would be on one of those portable stripper poles you can attach to the hitch of a truck. Lightweight Satan would be passed out from attempting to drink moonshine. Levi would be failing at Duck Hunt, and Lucifer is just cleaning his gun, muttering under his breath.

Someone please do this. I’m very glad not to live there anymore, but I have a big ole soft spot for glorious, unpretentious trash.

I was born in Ayacucho, this is the clothes that people use in carnivals in Ayacucho.

This is Obey me x Ayacucho's carnivals? Idk! But i love the clothes of my birthplace!

Look, I love me some spicy East Asian cuisine.

However.

I’m from the Carolinas, spent several years living in Louisiana, and therefore did not agree with the options the game presented. Any Obey Me fans who want to try something approaching devildom spice need to try:

Carolina Reaper in just about anything - it doesn’t have much flavor on its own, just shitloads of heat. I’d mix it up in a vinegar-based BBQ sauce and toss pulled pork in it, and you can cut the heat with applesauce if it’s too much. Actually, ema datshi with reaper or ghost pepper would be pretty good, I should try to make that.

Nashville chicken - ramp up the cayenne: brown sugar ratio for extra spice.

Gumbo, jambalaya, boudin sausage, or manque choux - again, you’re gonna be drowning your recipe with cayenne to make it spicy, and you can throw in a ghost pepper or Carolina Reaper if you want.

Just remember to wear gloves when you slice your peppers.

I’ll simp Lucifer all day long and nobody can stop me

Don’t think you can make me feel bad about it cause I’m already dead inside

not y’all bashing people for what character they simp for

No, this was entirely worth it.

I’m waiting for an anime character that is made entirely of a mass of wriggling, sentient belts stuffed into a trenchcoat.

Cringetober day 9: Lots of belts

I spent so long on this and it was not worth it at all. :)

As a fellow married Obey Me! player, I can confirm that nothing is worse than forgetting to turn the notification sound off and hearing Lucifer yell at you when you’re chilling with your spouse. Husband: “I don’t know what kind of hentai you’re watching, but you are not allowed to make fun of my browser history ever again.”

Today in reasons I’d like to be buried

You have no idea how much I enjoyed this post.

I want Mammon to come work on my dad’s old Barracuda with me, and then get a speeding ticket in it because fuck the police. If he can ride one of our Triumphs, I will accept his proposal regardless of how many backup singers he can get.

Maybe it doesn't help you, but I asked my Car Friend his opinions on the car inspo and he basically said the same things you did, including the mustang front, but he said "corvette vents" on the side instead of mentioning Porsche

😯 That's very helpful actually. Everytime I look at Mammon's car, I just cannot place the vents. The Porsche mention was more so directed at the body line/style of it starting from about the door back. BUT Corvette vents!! The vents on the side are very similar to the vents on the 1963 Z06 (I had to do a bit of research to see if any specific model of Corvette had extremely similar vents- and check it out below! It should be the 3rd car here lol)

It definitely has to have drawn inspiration from quite a few cars! And at least two of them, the Corvette Z06 and the late 60's Mustang Fastback, are from the 1960's. The Nissan Fairlady Z is from the 80's.

Now, I got to thinking because of this ask, and comparing all three of our possible inspirations to the original... and I had an idea. The rear quarter panel above the rear tires... they bump up into a real pretty curve and then go back down to meet at the back piece where the tail lights are. I'm not really seeing that in any of the three we have. But, ya wanna know what it started looking like? Ferrari has produced some cars with a similar bodystyle. The 4th car below is a 1974 Ferrari Dino 246 GTS, and it shows some serious curves that I dare say are present on the rear quarter panel at least! The front quarter panel curve seems to follow more closely with the Corvette, curving down into a Mustang front end. Now, just to point out because I like writing out details, the rear half of the Ferrari is little bit longer than the car I'm so insistent on placing. Which is interesting because Ferrari is known for their mid and rear engine vehicles. The 1974 Dino 246 GTS is a mid-engine vehicle, so even with the longer rear, it's still a bit short and more similar to Mammon's car. But, Mammon's car has a shorter rear end overall, looking like it's too short to support a rear engine or even a mid-engine. This info, combined with the longer front end really says it's gotta be a front engine vehicle. This is just some small trivia I'm writing down because it might help lol

At the end of the day, all I'm saying is that it draws some serious inspiration from beautiful cars and that Mammon's taste in vehicles really fits him perfectly. We've got some heavy classic car elements going on in my opinion, and usually classic cars are already highly valued. With two of these inspos seemingly being higher end sports cars *the Corvette and the Ferrari*, combined with possibly some gorgeous muscle *the Mustang*, and of course maybe the more affordable sports car (compared to a Ferrari and Corvette, cause hot damn those are some expensive cars) *the Nissan*, you can definitely say this car was an expensive purchase. Between the possible value of the car as potentially a collectors/classic car, and probably the price he paid for it, this car is 100% Mammon in my opinion.

It's definitely gorgeous and if it was real I'd 110% jump at the chance to get my hands on it, both to drive and to possibly work on it under the hood.

(Images, in order:

Mammon's car

80's Nissan Fairlady Z

Late 60's Mustang Fastback

1963 Corvette Z06

1974 Ferrari Dino 246 GTS)

Pro tip! Make a 1:1 solution of water and white vinegar and spray it on the pee spot. The vinegar should react with the ammonia in the urine and help neutralize the smell.

Mum and I let a stray cat into the house just now and he pissed on the curtain so we’ve been frantically trying to cover up the smell so Dad doesn’t tell us off.

I sprayed the scene of the crime with a load of dettol but now the whole room smells of that which is even more suspicious.

So I said to Mum: “what if he questions why it smells like a toilet in here now?”

To which she replied: “We’ll just tell him you farted so I had to light the candles but they weren’t enough.”

THANKS MUM

I love Luke he is my child and I will pull a Lucille Bluth if you ever disrespect him.

(and I love your pixel art please do angel versions of the demon brothers plzkthx)

Hi! I'm a rookie Pixel Artist who makes a lot of fan art of various things, if you have any suggestions for what I should make let me know! Here's a couple of chibi Lukes for my Tumblr debut 😁