I Love Luke He Is My Child And I Will Pull A Lucille Bluth If You Ever Disrespect Him.

Trolling the absolute shit out of my homophobic and racist in-laws in the group chat

Injecting the boomer tears directly into my veinsss

where were you when joe biden was elected forty-sixth president of the united states

I know a lot of people weren’t on board with Mammon’s proposal, but the undateables having to play second fiddle sold me 1000 percent.

And then the “you gotta marry me” bit at the end made me so gushy.

It was my favorite, come at me bro

Dammit Mammon.... How did you know dedicating songs to me was my weakness?

Sorry boys, Mammon won the proposal audition. The rest of you can go home.

Now I’m picturing Silvio Berlusconi cuddling a cow pillow and blushing and I may never recover from this.

Eve: I love all brothers equally! Lucifer... Mammon.. Leviathan.....Satan and Asmodeus *looks at smudged writing on hand* jingle bells and *squints* berlusconi

Reminds me of the time I met a guy who got stopped by the police with a car full of baby alligators.

(which were illegal, but less so than the trunk full of meth)

Beel: It’s not illegal

Police officer staring into Beel’s car trunk which is full of bread: it’s just... there’s so much-

Beel: but it’s not illegal, is it

Police officer:

I got it for both PS4 and PC, and the PS4 version is way smoother for some reason. Still love it.

Also I’m really disappointed I don’t get cyber enhanced genitals, at least not to the point I’m at in the game. :(

Gonna be loosing my life to Cyberpunk2077 as soon as it downloads, can't wait 😂🤘🏻 hahaha

If this song doesn’t give you mad Mammon vibes, I don’t know what to tell you, except to ask, how do you eat food when you clearly have no taste?

Raphael is about to see some gangsta shit, ngl

I dare you. I double dare you.

Clyde Barrow was definitely a killer, but it is highly likely that Bonnie didn’t kill anybody! She was apparently quite charming, and wanted to be considered a lady: she was very concerned that the press thought she was a smoker, because she posed with a cigar in this famous picture:

So if Bonnie was the sweetheart and Clyde was the criminal, I guess Mammon and MC could be Bonnie and Clyde? Except for where they got brutally shot to death in an ambush? And Bonnie had a raging gangrenous leg from a car accident? Which isn’t really that romantic?

Maybe they should just be Victoria and Albert...

Mammon: We're such a good couple

MC: *giggles*

Mammon: We're like The Joker and Harley Quinn

MC: The Joker and Harley had a horrible toxic relationship..

Mammon: Ok, We're like Bonnie & Clyde.

MC: Bonnie & Clyde killed people Mammon..

Mammon: We're like Fred and Rose West.

MC: Mammon..Please stop talking.

~

Shit, I’ve been there. Anon, you’re not alone. Please DM the account above (or hell, DM me, I’m usually drunk but pretty nice)

Also, best thing for me when I was in that headspace? Find something you feel strongly about. Love bad reality tv dating shows? Hate the Kardashians? Find someone else who feels the same way and just start talking. My best friendships, the ones who have pulled me out of my deepest holes, have come from shit-talking local politicians we hate (and in one instance, from being equally obsessed with the terrible Flavor Of Love series). And it went from hating/liking the same thing to talking about other things, and being friends, and caring about each other.

hi... im really sorry, but i'm completely alone and am really struggling to find a reason to live... could you maybe do a one note one day post? if not i totally understand

omg ofc

everyone pls boost this

also if you ever need someone to talk to you can dm me

@one-note-for-one-day @one-note-one-day

Please come to Dragoncon this year (assuming we can all get vaccinated and such)!

And all the Obey Me cosplayers! Pleeeeeease don’t make me beg. It’s a very unbecoming look for an adult woman.

I think about the brothers' fall a lot

Bonus: