Even When You're Tired, Remember Why You Started.

“If I’ve learned one lesson from all that’s happened to me, it’s that there’s no such thing as the biggest mistake of your existence. There’s no such thing as ruining your life. Life’s a pretty resilient thing, it turns out.”

— Sophie Kinsella

found some screenshots of the notes i made half a year ago. half a year ago i went through my worst heartbreak. somehow i can’t bring myself to regret anything. i have so much love to give and that is a strength. i can forgive and live freely.

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

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16/100 days of productivity

song of the day: abyss- the weeknd

feeling better today so went to my lab workshop. actually threw away the flow through while doing pcr so that was really fun. luckily I have enough so I don’t need to restart. I want to get lots of sleep before my midterms so I’ll leave my chemistry review to tomorrow.

heart (n)

a hollowed thing. the size of a fist. made up of multiple layers of tissue, each peeling away as their part is played. the center of the circulatory system, the controller of life. essential. beats sharing, taking. made of glass-blown sculptural imperfection. a tapestry. woven stories, of spools of thread. stained in all the wrong places. an actor, one that cannot lie. a symphony of movement. yet to be tuned, a hesitant metronome. moderato, a drum hit 2.5 billion times, the ending note being all that the audience remembers.

sound the drum and let the act begin

京都 慈受院門跡 // Jiju-in Temple, Kyoto 🌿

traveling across all of time and space with your eldritch horror boyfriend

"My work, which I’ve done for a long time, was not pursued in order to gain the praise I now enjoy, but chiefly from a craving after knowledge, which I notice resides in me more than most other men” - Leeuwenhoek, 1716

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15/100 days of productivity

wasn’t feeling very well today after running errands and having labs all day. still went to my evening tutorial but sleeping early tonight.