Transitions Are Hard...

I'm back!

I was gone for 4 days straight cause I was out of town to celebrate a birthday. I actually did a lot of work on my clinic report during these 4 days and now I'm mostly exhausted and trying to finish everything left of the semester.

I still plan to be here and track my progress, I think I just need some time to adjust to my regular schedule again so I am not burning myself out even more.

Miss y'all 🩵

04/03/2025

Decided to take it chill today. And truly, I keep reminding myself that I deserve it. Yes, I can study more, always. But do I want to not let myself take a break and rest after finishing 2 group projects? No. I need to take care of myself and relax before I can keep going, especially since the semester ends in a month and not a week.

Me seriously needing a facial and massage to take off some stress:

Completed

✅ School

✅ See clients

✅ Part-time job

✅ Nap

✅ Dinner

✅ Play A Little to the Left

✅ Check and reply to school emails

✅ Go to bed before 12am (finally!!)

Hope you are giving yourself permission to rest as well 🩵

Another day, another progress post 🩵

04/05/2025

I just want a freaking free day!!! 😤 Do you ever get so tired of studying and school that you don't know how you're going to last another 30 days?? That's why I am right now. I can't. I just can't right now.

I so want to just say f it and go take a break for a day, but I also feel like I can't. I also don't work like most people, and nighttime is my friend. But then, I can't even enjoy a relaxing night because I need to do work... Make it make sense. Why do I feel punished in society simply by being a night owl? That's not fair.

Grievances aside, only 1 more day of this workshop, and I seriously still don't know how much I'm learning. I'm not sure if this will feel worth it in the end. Maybe I need to reevaluate tomorrow morning before I decide to go.

Me feeling angry (also exhausted and frustrated) at the whole world rn:

Completed

✅ Full-day workshop ✅ Check and respond to emails ✅ Clinic note revision ✅ Grocery shopping ✅ Phone call with partner ✅ Dinner and snacks ✅ Watch Me Before You (I cried my eyes out for this 😭) ✅ Phone call with parents ✅ Clinic notes x4 ✅ Add article summaries to class notes ✅ Read research articles for thesis (30 minutes - that's all the energy I have for today) ✅ Shower (finally!!!)

To-Dos

I cut out some original plans cause I overestimated how much energy I had lol. Full-day workshop is a energy-drainer... Time for bed 😴

04/06/2025

I just realized I reblogged my post yesterday to my own account lmao... Still nice to have tracked my study progress nonetheless!

I decided to not go to the workshop today. I just can't. Everyone was complaining about it and I just feel like I need to stay away from it for myself. Like, why stay here and complain all day when you can either accept it for what it is or leave entirely. Sorry, just my brain trying to problem solve for others. My family has always looked down on complaining, so I guess I don't do much of that unless I know I need to vent (probably like now lol).

Anyway, a good time to start getting some work done and taking it easy for the day =)

Completed

✅ Breakfast ✅ Watch Kaichou wa Maid-Sama! ✅ Wash dishes (been slacking off on this hehe) ✅ Shower!! ✅ Check and reply to emails ✅ Register for Fall classes ✌🏻 ✅ Discussion post ✅ Update report writing timeline and email my professor ✅ Create bullet points for thesis ✅ Dinner ✅ Watch cdrama shorts

To-Dos

⏹️ Revise thesis writing ⏹️ File taxes ⏹️ [maybe] Clinic document

Not the most productive day for me, but I think I have been building the consistency I have wanted since the beginning of the year. I am now telling myself that I can be proud of my achievements and hard work even when I do not finish 100% of the tasks. There are different interruptions in life, and we can't control them all. So I choose to be grateful and content when I have tried my best. Let's do this again tmr 🩵

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

I don't know what it is. But I'm getting sick and tired of complaining. If you do that, that's fine; just don't tell me unless I am mentally relaxed or I ask you how you're doing. No offense to people who use venting to express their emotions in a healthy and productive way (I mean, I do that occasionally too). I just can't take it when I'm also getting stressed out and overwhelmed. It's more from childhood socialization so I am actively keeping myself in check for not judging over talking down on people who do that.

I think these two quotes just summarize why I need my peace. I find myself more tolerable to stress and the load of work I need to do in my life when I acknowledge that it sucks and move on. It is what it is!! And all I can do is do my part, try my best, and live another day 🩵

03/17/2025

Proud of myself!

I started working on school stuff again after everything that's been going on. It was nerve-wracking at first, having to go through a lot of emails and reply to some from weeks ago. BUT... I got through them all!

Completed Tasks:

✅ Read (and organized) my school emails

✅ Research team meeting

✅ Review weekly task list

✅ Eat

✅ Take care of my dog

✅ Therapy session

✅ Finish 1 exam

✅ Added article summaries to class notes

What a relief! Now I can hop on Xbox to play with my partner and enjoy my dinner!!

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

This graphic is so real lol. I would also add "adulting" which takes up 10-20% of my life depending on the time of the year...

I had to go to a medical appointment this morning and it feels like I have already used up most of my motivation and energy for the day 🫠. But I know I can't (or should I say I recently decided that I won't) give up this easily, so I am hopeful that it will be another day I can celebrate at the end.

Sending love to all you wonderful humans 🩵

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

Found this on Pinterest to remind me that:

Consistency > Overthinking

Even if I am writing my papers 1 hour a day, I am going to get them done instead of continuously overthinking and avoiding my work, which produces zero results. Not that I have to work without breaks and rest. I just need to start somewhere, anywhere.

Everything will work out eventually 🩵

Day 4

On days like this, I feel like I'm stepping backward, unwinding all the hard work I've put forward in the past few days. It hasn't even been a week yet...

My dog has been whining right before I go to bed to be taken out. Having presentations and essays back-to-back for my classes. Group projects are due soon. Spring break is in a few days. My thesis work is ongoing but not where I need it to be. - Things just aren't right.

I want to feel excited again. I want to feel alive again. I want to be free.

When I got home from school today, I laid down on the couch and started reading a webnovel. I ended up napping for two hours, and then realize that I still need to make food and it'll be time for bed. But I still have my daily assignments I need to get done, and my notes, and my thesis, and... My mind is going in a spiral but my body is moving like a turtle. All I want to do is read my webnovel and escape my stressful reality at the moment.

I'm going to muster the little strength that I still have to complete the essentials for tomorrow, and then call it a night. Maybe it is a day of necessary rest today.