Blvk-rxse - Unbetitelt

A new character portrayed by a middle aged woman: *1 second of screen time*

Me:

tony: i dont go down on women but i expect them to suck my dick and thats how KINGS live

thor a feminist:

BEST. VIDEO. EVER.

List of people who could be running the official Spider-Man twitter account:

Tom Holland, in disguise

Zendaya (‘cause she’s hip with the youth)

“jake g and his sexy dad outfit”

All three of them, combined

every episode of house ever

*episode opens with patient going about their every day life*

patient: owww my everything

*patient goes to hospital*

house: okay guys got any ideas

literally everyone: ehh probably meningitis

house: well you're wrong give him a lumbar puncture

foreman: house despite you being the head of our team we obviously know more than you

house: *joke about foreman being black*

foreman:

house:

foreman:

house:

chase: hey cameron you wanna bang later

cameron: fuk u

chase: eyyy she wants me ;0

patient: oww my everything

cameron: the patient is getting worse house what do we do

house: pfff fuck if i know

cameron: damn house you suck you're a terrible doctor he obviously has meningitis

house: give him some drugz idk

cameron: wow guys did you hear house telling us to give the patient drugs? damn he's a great doctor wouldn't you just like to bang him?

chase: >:(

cuddy: house go work in the clinic

house: no

cuddy: do it or else

house: ugh fine

*insert some comic-relief scene of house in the clinic with a dumb patient*

*meanwhile the first patient gets worse*

patient: owww now my eyes are green

chase: house his eyes are green and he is literally on the brink of death what do we do

*INSERT 30 SECOND LONG MONTAGE OF HOUSE GOING OVER THE FACTS*

house: gREEN EYES?! THIS IS A SIGN OF TITTY DEFLATION!

*insert a 3D animation of how the disease works with voice over of how it works*

house: only a shot of the super-duper-illegal anti-titty deflation vaccine that has not yet been made legal can save him now

cuddy: NO

house: YES

cuddy: NO

house: YES

cuddy: NO

house: fuk u bitch i do what i want lmao cuddy? more like slutty ayyyy

*house gives patient cure*

patient: wow, doctor! by some miracle you've cured me! And even the chronic pain in my back was fixed!

house: yet another symptom of your titty deflation

wilson: how did he have titty deflation? he doesn't have titties

house: shut up, wilson, you were probably irrelevant this episode

*"You Can't Always Get What You Want" plays*

Tom Holland and the cast improvised the scene where they say goodbye to Tony Stark. When they filmed the scene with Robert Downey Jr. there was no script, there were only Kein Feige, The Russo Brothers, Gwyneth Paltrow and Don Cheadle on the scene and they were told what would happen and everyone started to improvise !

bedknobs and broomsticks sparked my love for sliding ladders on bookshelves and i plan on have one like in the movie when i have my own place and money

When I have a slight inconvenience:

I guess it’s time to dream up another plot line/read fanfic

Queen

One of the best parts of The Crimes of Grindelwald was when McGonagall undid the hex on the girl’s mouth and cast it again when she started talking badly about Leta.

(On Tina)

Newt: I-I don’t know Jacob theres just something about her.

Jacob: Yeah?

Newt: Her hands are.. well they’re so nice and, soft.. almost like the fur of a pigmy puff.

Jacob: A what?

Newt: N-Nothing.. I- well, do you think I should tell her I-

Jacob: What that you like her? Well yeah. I mean, have you seen the way you too interact when you’re together?

Newt: No- Well she, I don’t think that means anything I mean- Well I- Of course it means something for me, I mean shes great, and beautiful, and her ey-

Jacob: I know, I know, like Salamanders

Newt: Yes.

Jacob: I think you should take her somewhere!

Newt: Like.. ah uh, a date?

Jacob: Yeah, take her out to dinner, treat her like a lady she’d like that.

Newt: I don’t know, she probably wouldn’t even go.

Jacob: Newt, the womans crazy about you

Newt: I wouldn-

Jacob: She fled to Paris because she was jealous of Leta

Newt: Well I - Where would I take her

Jacob: Ya ever heard of a zoo?

They got salamanders!