In Short Period Of Time They Were Stranded Together On An Alien Spaceship Tony Managed To Get Nebula

yoooo wtf is sharon up to?????

every episode of house ever

*episode opens with patient going about their every day life*

patient: owww my everything

*patient goes to hospital*

house: okay guys got any ideas

literally everyone: ehh probably meningitis

house: well you're wrong give him a lumbar puncture

foreman: house despite you being the head of our team we obviously know more than you

house: *joke about foreman being black*

foreman:

house:

foreman:

house:

chase: hey cameron you wanna bang later

cameron: fuk u

chase: eyyy she wants me ;0

patient: oww my everything

cameron: the patient is getting worse house what do we do

house: pfff fuck if i know

cameron: damn house you suck you're a terrible doctor he obviously has meningitis

house: give him some drugz idk

cameron: wow guys did you hear house telling us to give the patient drugs? damn he's a great doctor wouldn't you just like to bang him?

chase: >:(

cuddy: house go work in the clinic

house: no

cuddy: do it or else

house: ugh fine

*insert some comic-relief scene of house in the clinic with a dumb patient*

*meanwhile the first patient gets worse*

patient: owww now my eyes are green

chase: house his eyes are green and he is literally on the brink of death what do we do

*INSERT 30 SECOND LONG MONTAGE OF HOUSE GOING OVER THE FACTS*

house: gREEN EYES?! THIS IS A SIGN OF TITTY DEFLATION!

*insert a 3D animation of how the disease works with voice over of how it works*

house: only a shot of the super-duper-illegal anti-titty deflation vaccine that has not yet been made legal can save him now

cuddy: NO

house: YES

cuddy: NO

house: YES

cuddy: NO

house: fuk u bitch i do what i want lmao cuddy? more like slutty ayyyy

*house gives patient cure*

patient: wow, doctor! by some miracle you've cured me! And even the chronic pain in my back was fixed!

house: yet another symptom of your titty deflation

wilson: how did he have titty deflation? he doesn't have titties

house: shut up, wilson, you were probably irrelevant this episode

*"You Can't Always Get What You Want" plays*

Tony felt like his head had barely hit the pillow before he was woken by soft cries coming through the monitor by the bed. He groaned and rolled over to look at the picture on the baby monitor on his bedside table. Morgan was wide awake, and although she was only making a few whimpering noises at the moment, Tony knew she would work her way up into a full blown crying fit if someone didn’t go check on her. She’d caught a cold recently and was having trouble staying asleep without getting fussy.

Tony rubbed his tired eyes and sat up with a quiet groan. He heard Pepper stir on her side of the bed.

“Tony… what—“

“I got it, go back to sleep,” Tony mumbled, running a hand down Pepper’s arm soothingly. Morgan had passed her cold onto her mom, so Tony wanted to make sure Pepper got as much rest as she could as well.

He turned down the baby monitor and stumbled his way out of the room and down the hall to his daughter. When Pepper told him she was pregnant he thought he’d have no issue with not getting any sleep. He was used to staying up all hours of the night working and not really getting much sleep. Apparently though, taking care of a baby was more exhausting than working on the Iron Man armor for 48 hours straight because god Tony was exhausted all the time.

Not that he was complaining. These last few months since Morgan was born had been some of the best and happiest months of his life and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

The closer he got to Morgan’s room the more surprised he was that he couldn’t hear her crying. The last few nights since getting sick had been hard on her little body, and she was much quicker to cry than she usually was. His surprise turned to tension however when he reached the cracked open door and realized he could hear another man’s voice coming from inside the room.

Tony was ready to run into the room guns a-blazing to see who the fuck had broken into his daughters room before he realized he recognized the voice. He nearly laughed out loud at himself for his reaction, but he was too curious to see what this kid was doing to risk making noise and alerting the boy to his presence.

Tony pushed the door open gently so it wouldn’t make any noise and leaned against the door frame to watch his two children together.

Peter must’ve just gotten in because he was still wearing his Spider-Man costume, sans-mask, with a tear in the back by his shoulder blade. He was cradling Morgan against his chest, bouncing gently and rocking from side to side to make sure the eight month old didn’t start to cry again.

Weiterlesen

Tom Holland and the cast improvised the scene where they say goodbye to Tony Stark. When they filmed the scene with Robert Downey Jr. there was no script, there were only Kein Feige, The Russo Brothers, Gwyneth Paltrow and Don Cheadle on the scene and they were told what would happen and everyone started to improvise !

Why didn’t I know this five years ago

what’s funnier, albus dumbledore swearing his way through every great hall speech, or albus dumbledore legally not being allowed to say fuck

all these stories about how the modern day dionysian ritual is going out and murdering someone in the woods…the true modern day dionysian ritual is drunkenly going to taco bell at 3 am and i dare anyone to tell me otherwise

• that one inspiring female character you love from any book/movie/show

people i make myself look good for:

myself

gay women

my friends so they go “damn bitch u look fucking good” whenever i enter the room

Reblog if you want a pet niffler

Stark Kids

ENDGAME SPOILERS

Peter didn’t really know what to do with himself at the funeral.

After wandering around in a grief-induced haze, he ended up sitting by the lake alone, imagining maybe Mr. Stark would jump out of it and jumpscare him. He’d done that a few times in the lab. Peter hadn’t thought it was funny at the time, but now he’d give anything for him to do it again.

Little footsteps sounded, and a little girl edged herself up onto the log next to him.

“What’re you looking at?” She asked.

Peter shrugged, “Nothing.”

“You’re Spidey, aren’t you?”

Peter nodded, “Yup.”

“Daddy told me about you,” Morgan said.

Peter looked down at the girl, surprised, “What?”

“There’s a picture with you in it in the kitchen,” Morgan explained, “I asked about it and Daddy said the boy there was a hero he used to know. He said you were gone.”

“I was,” Peter admitted, “But your dad saved me.”

“I thought so,” Morgan said thoughtfully, “You know, Daddy was sad when he talked about you. Mommy said it was because he loved you very much and he thought you being gone was his fault.”

“Did she?” Peter asked, trying not to cry.

“Yes, she did,” Morgan said matter-of-factly, “You know, you look like me. You have brown hair and brown eyes like me. It’s because you’re my brother, right?”

“What?”

“You look like Daddy, and I look like Daddy. He loves both of us very much and he said he used to give you popsicles just like he gives me popsicles. So you must be my big brother, right?”

Peter shrugged, not knowing what to say.

Someone else sat down on Peter’s other side.

“Harley,” Morgan said nonchalantly.

The boy who looked a bit older than Peter looked confused that she recognized him, “You know me?”

“Of course,” Morgan said, rolling her tiny eyes, “Daddy said you almost shot him with a potato gun.”

Harley chuckled, “Yeah, I did. I helped him fix his suit.”

“I know that,” Morgan said, “Mommy said she wouldn’t be alive if you hadn’t helped him, and if she wasn’t alive, I wouldn’t be alive. You saved me and Mommy and Daddy.”

Harley looked caught off-guard, “I guess I did.”

“You look more like Mommy than Daddy,” Morgan decided, “But that’s okay. I think I can love both my big brothers either way.”

Harley exchanged a look with Peter. They both knew they weren’t really Morgan’s brothers.

But still… Peter could sense the silent agreement that they would both do anything for this little girl.

“We can love you, too, little sis,” Peter promised as Morgan wiggled in between the two of them for warmth.

Watching from the porch, Pepper managed to crack a smile.

Her little girl wasn’t going to have to be alone. None of her children were.