Bpd Culture Is Growing Up Too Soon And Staying The Child Forever

bpd culture is having a violent/euphoric/“happy” episode only to immediately crash and have a really bad breakdown

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Fck being nonchalant.

Merge souls with me.

guilt eats away at my flesh. it settles in my bones. it lives within my chest.

Can’t feel anger without physically punching walls or holding in the intrusive violent urges so much that it makes my arms physically burn and hurt

Can’t look at someone who’s even moderately attractive without desperately falling in love and imagine a whole life together

Can’t feel “happy” or moderately excited without feeling like my chest is about to burst and the only way to get it out is to literally vibrate and yell

Can’t feel sad without spiralling immediately into just wanting to stop existing

Can’t feel nervous without teeth chattering chest burning about to throw up

Or just don’t feel anything at all when (apparently) I am supposed to

bpd culture is wishing you could feel emotions normally

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might be a bit sensitive but it annoys the shit out of me when people throw the word anxiety around and don’t really mean it. Like when something annoys them and they say “it gives me anxiety”. No. Because you are not having anxiety okay having anxiety is when after you make any and every decision your chest gets tight and you feel sick to your stomach and immediately regret that decision and your head starts going ekekwkfbwijdfhjwdnfnidksjdfjsknddj. it’s like a clamp around your head. It’s not synonymous with disliking something.

Fuck everything fuck everyone fuck the central line fuck uni fuck the government fuck inflation fuck the economy everyone should just fucking die and I am going to go live in a post-apocalyptic country side

"Memory of sun seeps from the heart", Anna Akhmatova (translated by D. M. Thomas)

life with bpd is always trying to fill a huge hole in your chest. you spend your life looking for a cure that doesn't really exist

honestly i dont need therapy i need a machine to go into my body and manually stretch all my muscles and crack all my joints and then i need the machine to go into my brain and deep clean it with soapy hot water

I want to pull out all my teeth randomly one night and then scare the shit out of people the next day. Or pull out every alternate tooth so none of them are touching and then put silver caps on the rest of them haha