Borderlinepersonalitydisaster20 - BPDisaster

I don’t know how to explain it but just being alive causes me pain

The world is too loud, existing is overwhelming, people expect so much more than I can give

I fail at being alive every single day

I feel so ashamed to be so broken

But I don’t know how to be any other way

it’s hard to hate someone when you can remember what it was like to love them. I wish I could erase all memories of you from my mind.

I cannot accept that one person can act so differently. I cannot love and hate a person at the same time and still see them as one person. You are two people. And I only love the one of you that has died. 

don’t feel very emotionally stable right now I feel beat down and too mentally tired to even speak or move and my mood keeps fluctuating between intense anger and violence and being upset and nostalgic and it’s giving me a headache and I want it to stop and it’s not working

Tw bpd vent

If you don’t want to deal with someone with mental issues don’t. I always warn new friends that I have bpd and I am going to show symptoms. Then they get surprised when I do.

Unless ur my parent you don’t have to deal with me. If you can’t handle it just be fucking honest. I don’t have the energy to be disappointed.

And no I’m not talking about “oh you can’t handle being abused, fuck you” I’m talking about when ppl get pissed that you have mental breakdowns a fuck ton of the time.

Or ignore them because you’re too depressed to talk. That type of shit.

I hate how obsessive I get. It isn’t normal, it isn’t healthy. And it does me more harm than good. You’d think though, really, that being obsessed would make someone flattered. Apparently not.

a delusion does not mean a person should ever be dismissed, brushed off or disregarded.

delusions are beliefs that are extremely hard to shake regardless of how self aware we are.

a delusional person is not quirky, not rambling nothingness for the sake of attention, they are serious.

from believing youre dead or dying (cotard's) to believing your halucinations were real, these things are terifying for us. theyre real for us.

just because you know its not true doesnt mean we're making it up. we deserve to be heard, listened to and helped just like you and your issues.

delusional is not and should never be nor should it ever have been an insult. its a serious issue. take it seriously.

my mind flickers to the thought of him and her just conversing….him not thinking about me at all. I just. I don’t want to be thinking like this.

craving validation from exactly the wrong person. slay

(me, insane since the day i was born) sorry haha this has just been an off day for me