I Always Type Long Messages For You And Then Leave Them There. I’m Worried I Might Accidentally Hit

he has no idea that I’m literally on my knees praying and crying for him every day it’s actually ridiculous that he’s consuming my brain LIKE A PARASITE and he’s just completely clueless. I hope he has a dream where he sees how much he’s in my head and in my heart and in between my teeth and under my skin and he gets hit so hard with it he fucking dies. No one could love him like I would.

don’t feel very emotionally stable right now I feel beat down and too mentally tired to even speak or move and my mood keeps fluctuating between intense anger and violence and being upset and nostalgic and it’s giving me a headache and I want it to stop and it’s not working

Nobody talks about how hard it is to face people again after you've had an episode in front of them

Once they've seen you do full-force into self-destruct, they always look at you with a sense of wariness and like you're not the person they thought you were

The shame makes me want to rip my skin off

Sometimes my anger is too much

The way it feels like the way I imagine it might if you smashed all the glass in your house from screaming and then used those shards to construct new eyes by digging them into the already existing ones.

The same way i imagine it might feel if I pressed nails into every inch of my skin

Like open heart surgery without any anaesthesia

Like constant electrocution

I’d rather any of those than to feel my own anger over the fact that you never text me back.

every time I decide I’m done with you, for some godforsaken reason, I dream about you the same night

do you know what it’s like to crave a person?

life with bpd is always trying to fill a huge hole in your chest. you spend your life looking for a cure that doesn't really exist

All I want is you. Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave to be with her. I love you so much. Please leave her and be with me. Please please please please please I love you. You’re literally the male version of me we’d be so great together. Please I’d make you feel like a king every day. I love you please don’t leave. You’re so soft and warm and beautiful and you have the greatest smile and laugh and eyes and I love you so much. Please don’t leave.

I want to pULL all MY TEETH OUT