Bubblemintfairy - 𝓫𝓾𝓫𝓫𝓵𝓮𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓽 𝓯𝓪𝓲𝓻𝔂

Just had my first cognitive psychology test. Now I'll go and buy myself a treat. And by a treat I mean a whip to get myself in order.

I've managed to get fever 3 times this hot af summer. How does one even do that

In the morning my coworker asked if everything is okay, because my face was sad. I didn't quite understand if between the lines she was also telling me I shouldn't look like that bcs how it would look to customers. But I tried to smile more.

And now my mom got angry at me out of no where bcs like she said, I always look like im dying, whatever happens I look like I'm dying. She also said that life wasn't so hard which I agree, my life isn't hard. She also ranted some more but yh.

I guess I'll have to train myself to smile all the time. Idk how to tho lol

I wish I wasn’t who I am. I feel like in my heart I’m disgusting

I accidentally said his name when I cut myself. It was like a call, a beg for help. I have never even talked to him, I don't know him. But my mind latched onto the idea of him. I feel quilty for feeling so much for him when he doesn't even know I exist or perceive him as someone more than a passerby.

I think my mind just needs someone to obsess over.

I crave his warmth so bad. He looks like he would be so warm to the touch. Being in his presence sends my heart into overdrive, being able to be in his arms would simply make my mind melt. That's all I could ask for. No thoughts other than his warmth and touch.

It's literally been minutes and I can feel her changing in my head. Her form shifting. She is telling me more about her ed, but im froze, I'm crying, I just felt like I lost a friend in a single moment and it's even more unfair to her.

NOOOO!!! A GIRL IVE BECOME GOOD FRIENDS WITH OVER THE MONTHS JUST TOLD ME SHE HAS AN ED. NOW MY BRAIN WILL AUTOMATICALLY START SEEING HER AS COMPETITION, START HYPERANALYZING EVERYTHING I AND SHE DO AND SAY AND ITLL START TO SPITE HER FOR BEING SKINNIER THAN ME.

Binge eating has and is destroying my life. It has been so many years I can't even remember when I had a normal idea of food.

I genuinely don't know how to stop. I have stopped doing low cal restriction, I have raised my calories a lot, but I still binge at the end of the day.

I can't live on like this, I just want to escape this body and mind.

Is this too much to ask for???