I'm Mostly Numb But I Cry Sometimes.

Me: *has a GI stomach bug,aka:is sick*

Dad: have you fed the rabbits?

Me: no, I've been throwing up and my body aches, and I don't want to move.

Dad: well you better go see how many of them are dead, then.

Me, internally: it's only been two days? I'm sick?? Why is that no one else can do it??? Literally, you can do it???? IM SICK?????

One of our girl bunnies gave birth to at least 10 babies saturday before last, 2 were already dead when we found them.

4 were gray and tan and the other 4 were completely black.

Only 4 survived until tuesday of the following week. The 4 black ones. One died one sunday, and three on monday.

Tuesday -the day I got punished for drawing a picture- there were still alive.

Two more died -one a day- before I took the remaining two away from their mother.

She had been letting them die and them eating them.

I took care of those last two since then.

One of them was sick and died this monday.

The last one died this morning.

I had been keeping it (I kept both of them in it) in a small box -made nest with a giant sweater and a heated sock full of rice.

Last night/this morning it somehow got out and got into the dog cage.

We have three, small, very old, blind, and mostly deaf dogs.

One of which fucking loves puppies/anything reassembling puppies.

The last baby was loved to death. And with the description my mom, who found it, gave me... It's a horrible way to die.

I don't know why I'm not upset.

I don't know why I'm posting this.

It's gonna be a bad day.

I wish I was still sick.

I'm staying home.

It doesn't feel right.

I don't like this.

It doesn't matter.

A vry angry Alli wearing the outfit from her first design.

You know those paint chip thingys?

I want them.

I want to collect as many as I can for no reason!

I know, I know, I'm supposed to be cutting back on my collections but... I've always wanted to collect those and there is nothing actually stopping me!!!

I hate my diagnosis.

Why can't I just be one simple thing?

I'd settle for 2!

But /5/?

What reassurance should I be looking for?

I fidget but it's nothing major.

I obsess but it's not bad.

I sweat but I'm fine.

I scratch but it's ok.

I just...

I don't know where I'm suppose to go.

I just... can't.

I don't fit into any of these molds and they don't fit together

I've been this way my entire fucking life, why am I only considered disfunctional now?

I don't know what I am.

And I'm scared.

I miss my baby boy.

Meet Atlas, he’s very vocal when awake but rn he’s hugging my thigh and sleepin’.

Gonna be returned to the hellhole that is high school next Monday but before then, Imma get a pixie cut this weekend.

Short hair and whatever pride stuff I can find for MAXIMUM GAY🏳️‍🌈

Heyo, I uhhh I made an Instagram👌 same name as my Tumblr if anyone's interested😁

:/ :p