I Miss My Baby Boy.

At least my nephew likes my cooking. I made mashed potatoes!

Me: *finds a thing that i like that isnt problamatic unless taking out of context and given malicious intent through biased descriptions*

Person: *does that*

Me brain: you are no longer allowed to like this thing because if you do then you're a terrible person and your inevitable murder is justified because you'd deserve it.

Me: ... ok..

I'm mostly numb but I cry sometimes.

I kept debating as to whether or not I should post about this but then I remembered that my only other relatively-social outlet is my therapist so I decided to post.

My childhood friend shot himself yesterday. He died this afternoon while in the hospital.

At first I thought: "I won't be majorly affected by this, I haven't talked to him in over a year! I'm just uncomfortable because talking about suicide makes my anxiety spike due to another friends of mine attempting with me as her last goodbye!"(She's alive as far as I know, thank fucking god)

But then my mom was talking to my grandmother about what happened and mentioned that I'd been friends with him and his little sister...

And I realized... Jacob is dead. One of my childhood friends killed himself.

We're only 15... My friend is gone and we're practically still children

I keep having random bouts of re-realization because it just doesn't make any sense...

I can't feel anything. He's dead. He's gone and my emotions keep going in and out like an indesicve tide hugging the shore.

One second I'm sobbing and then, for a while, I'm completely numb.

I... I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I was so sure that this wouldn't affect me.

But she's ok. The friend I mentioned earlier is still alive.

I'm so glad she's alive, though. If I'm reacting like this to someone I haven't talked to in almost a year- I can only imagine what I'd be feeling if she'd succeeded...

I hope she knows how happy I am every time I remember that she's alive.

And how comforting that thought is now.

Because we're still just kids. Because we shouldn't be dying.

We're just kids

Went to the thrift store saturday after going to the book store and getting lunch w/my mom and oldest sister, Erin! It was rly fun!!!

First pic is just what I was wearing and the other two are the cute dresses my mom bought me! I rly like them!🍑💛🌼💙

Billionaire Mark Cuban Opens Online Pharmacy To Provide Affordable Generic Drugs

The company was launched out of stealth last year.

The Mark Cuban Cost Plus Drugs Company (MCCPDC) is a registered pharmaceutical wholesaler and purchases drugs directly from manufacturers, bypassing middlemen to lower the price of more than 100 medications, it said in a statement.

For example, the leukemia drug imatinib is priced at $47 a month on MCCPDC compared to the $9,657 retail price.

MCCPDC CEO Alex Oshmyansky reached out to Cuban with an idea for a low-cost generic drug company in a cold email. It was launched in January last year. They were motivated in part by “Pharma Bro” Martin Shrkeli’s outrage-producing price hike of the lifesaving drug Daraprim from $13.50 to $750 per tablet while Shrkeli was CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals. Cuban told Forbes last year the pricing for generic drugs was “ridiculous.” He said he decided to put his name on the company to “show capitalism can be compassionate and to send the message I am all in.” It’s not clear how much he had invested in the company.

—

Reblog to save someone an entire paycheck, or more, on the pharmaceuticals they need.

Ummm... yeah! I drew this kinda a while ago but this girl in my art class complimented my lineart/inking sooo... My love of this drawing greatly increased... And I decided to post it!

Things have happened.

Just as they always will.

Things have died.

Simply from being alive.

Things have made you smile.

Same as I wish I could.

Things have made me cry.

And if I were dry wood-

I'd burn and burn and burn...

But I am not who I should-

Be, I am someone who is

Melting, maybe?

Things are spilt into pieces

Myself am barely different-

Still talking to no-one

But myself.

I think that when I do that-

I half-become somebody else.

That half is my other self

She doesn't get lost transition-

She isn't even awake.

She's sleeping- no

Dreaming

With moldy melatonin

Not doing much to keep her awake.

Things have faded.

Like old photographs-

I've never seen any.

This is the digital age-

With no more pictures of somber faces

Being plastered to the page.

Things.

...

Things have looked up-

And seen the sun

But some

Things have gone down hill-

And landed in a rut

But both of 'em

Have left me

So that I'm somewhere in between

Maybe there was a ledge I stopped on!

Or a tree in a forest green-

Did they undergrowth stop me?

I think it must've hurt-

I mean-

I'm covered in scratches

But they're from a cat.

It doesn't matter.

I mean-its just that...

"Things have died"

From being a runt-

From being too young-

From eating her litter-

Man, crying is fun.

Five months(by estimation)

Three(months by knowledge)

And 15 years-

But by then

It's all the same-

They're all:

Dead

Dead

Dead

...

Things have been...

Inconclusive.

Me: *has a GI stomach bug,aka:is sick*

Dad: have you fed the rabbits?

Me: no, I've been throwing up and my body aches, and I don't want to move.

Dad: well you better go see how many of them are dead, then.

Me, internally: it's only been two days? I'm sick?? Why is that no one else can do it??? Literally, you can do it???? IM SICK?????

Panicking over something I shouldn't

I still panic

When you come back

Each time

I think

You're going to do it

Again

And I panic

Because you'll blame me

And I'm scared

That you'll be right

This time

I wish

I didn't think of you

Anymore

And I hope

That I stop

Thinking

Of that night

Because I'm so scared

That you'll do it

Again

And I won't be able

To stop you

That way I did

Last time

Because

It wasn't my fault

And I hate it when

You blame me

For not coming back

When I'm scared

That it'll happen again

If I came back

Like how you want me too

I'm scared

That you wont

Come back anymore

A and I'd rather

Have you hate me

From a distance

As someone

I don't feel

Responsible for

Anymore

Because

You make it my fault

And I

Convence myself

That you're right

And I

Forget

That you're not

Scared of the same

Things as I am

Because you love to blame me

And was never really my fault

Stop scaring me

I'm not coming back

I don't want that night

To happen again

So stop

Making it my fault

I left all this

Behind me

And I gave up

When

There was nothing

I could do

For you anymore

I'm sorry

I'm not enough

And

I'm sorry

That

I

Never

Was

At home and at my sister's apartment, I never have any style🌻🐢🕶 I got these sunglasses at target