Best Workout Combo

poemy rant

Nobody ever called me fat. Nobody ever said there was something wrong with my body, ever.

Yet I am the one who chose to inflict this mentality upon myself. My stomach and thighs suddenly doubled in size one day when I realized most of my friends carried smaller bodies. They never had to think once about losing weight because they were already naturally gifted with those bodies. They didn't have to eat less or exercise. But most importantly, they were happy with what they had. They weren't miserable like me, wishing I could cut the fat off using my bare hands.

It makes me sad whenever I see them snacking or buying a whole box of donuts at the grocery store just because they feel like it. They don't think twice about the calories and how much they're allowed to eat for the rest of the day. They even mock me for checking the calories every time and warn me about how many I'm about to ingest if I take a bite out of an unhealthy snack. They've repeatedly told me they don't see anything wrong with my body and how they wish they had thighs like me because theirs are too thin.

So why do I feel like this? Where did this come from? When did having a flat stomach and stick legs become my goals?

Nothing ever feels good enough anymore. I look at the scale some mornings and bawl my eyes out because it's not the number I want to see, even though I'm technically underweight. But I don't feel like that at all. I'll consider myself underweight when there is no fat left to jiggle when I run, and no extra skin to pinch or poke at. When I'm running so low on energy I can feel my brain shutting off, my legs trembling and ultimately collapsing. I'll be on the ground, limp and exhausted as I fall into a deep sleep.

I'll be desolate, but I'll be thin. I'll be happy in a bikini just like my friends, proudly showing off the body I worked so hard for.

Hopefully.

REASONS TO KEEP GOING:

so when it’s the first of january, you no longer have to make “lose weight” a new years resolution

because you have been craving your dream body for way longer than that high calorie, greasy food you’re craving right now

because as much as people try to deny is your worth is tied to that number on the scale.

because of how many summers have already gone by and you’re still saying “next summer”

because thin is beautiful. thin is classy and elegant. thin is chic and feminine.

so that you look good even if your fashion sense lowkey sucks. why? because skinny is the outfit.

because that 11 year old little girl deserves the skinny future she dreamed of.

because you owe it to yourself to go through life in a beautiful, fit body

because if you’re actually honest with yourself, fat doesnt fit your aesthetic does it?

because you dont deserve to complain about having to start over when its you who keeps giving up.

because you actually have potential and you’re just wasting it all by allowing yourself to be fat

no cuz why is it lowk embarassing to admit that I have an £d. Like ooh no, calories.

caffeine is pumping thru my blood thanks to this crazy pink monster I need loud music asap ohmygod

that pizza was the hardest thing to eat i could barely swallow it

i wish that one day it comes down to refusing those slices entirely

gym bros undereat and call it a cut and nobody bats an eye, i undereat and society.. society says i have an ed

seeing that number go down on the scale is a better high than any drug will give you.

recovery will never be an option i fear

i’m so destroyed mentally that i’ll just feel worse if i fix my relationship w food bc i’ll still be lacking everywhere else in my life

i’ll always be anxious, a people pleaser and terribly jealous of everyone else

50 reasons to lose w31ght ౨ৎ

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1. so your s/o can pick you up effortlessly

2. free piggy back rides from your friends

3. so you don't have to worry about being too heavy when you sit in someone's lap

4. so people will lend you their clothes (and they'll be too big on you)

5. when people buy you clothes, they'll get the smallest size (and worry that a size S might be too big)

6. someone from a k-beauty youtube video said "losing w31ght makes you 10x prettier"

7. to fit into p3tite and aesthetic clothes (eg brandy melville)

8. so you don't have the gross feeling of your skin touching (thighs rubbing together, stomach rolls, etc)

9. to look effortlessly beautiful doing anything

10. you'll sweat less

11. to look good in tight clothes

12. to be able to wear revealing outfits and still look cute

13. you'll look cute and small in oversized clothes, instead of looking b1gger

14. so you can wear a bikini

15. to feel more confident

16. people will treat you better

17. if you stick to it and work hard to lose the w31ght, then you'll be better than everyone who has failed to do so. you're willpower and self-control will be admired and envied by your peers

18. people will pay more attention to you

19. people will worry and care about you more

20. for the sk1nny/pretty privilege

21. to make people jealous of you

22. to prove that you can

23. to look good wearing anything, even if it isn't a good outfit

24. so you won't be anxious about being w31ghed at the doctor's

25. to look prettier in pictures

26. so you can go clothes shopping without being

insecure

27. no more dressing room breakdowns

28. so your s/o can fit their fingers around your wrists and their hands around your thighs (or so you can do it yourself)

29. for the th1gh g4p (duh)

30. to be small enough to use your s/o as a bed

31. so your s/o can easily lift you with one hand

32. so you don’t have to waste another summer hating urself

33. to be desirable

34. you'll have a higher chance of people stopping you on the street for photographs/modeling scouts/etc

35. to be more attractive

36. you'll use less products (body wash, lotion) if there's less of you (so you'll end up saving money too!)

37. people will take you more seriously

38. you'll be able to move through crowds easier

39. to boost your self-esteem, feel better about yourself, and be happier

40. you can purchase the smallest size when shopping online and you won't have to worry about it being too small

41. to be able to shop at cute online shops that only carry smaller sizes (brandy, yesstyle, other asian stores)

42. to look good while e4ting, instead of like a f4tt, greedy p1g...

43. to finally be in control

44. so you don't feel jealous/sad when you see other people's b0di3s/thln$p0, because THEY'LL be envying YOU

45. to have your pics/b0dychecks put in a thln$p0 compilation

46.to finally feel pretty

47. to take up less space

48. to be able to wear low rise bottoms

49. so you can talk about your w31ght and not feel ashamed

50. if you actually stick to it and r3strict, your appetite/ stomach will be a lot smaller once you reach your ugw, so you'll naturally e4t less!!

Don’t EAT! You yes you! Put down that cookie! Put down that cake! Put down that non diet soda! Put down that ice cream! Put down that macaroni! Put down that pasta! Put down that rice! Put down that pizza! Put down that mcdonalds! Put down that burger! Put down that chocolate! Put down that candy!

Who do you think you are just eating whatever you want whenever you want?? I don’t give one care in the world if you have a “fast” metabolism so do I! But even I don’t go eating whatever you want and on HUGE amounts like this!

The next day when that scale jumps 12 pounds do you think you’ll be like “it’s just water weight” NO

You’ll be disappointed that you binged and have to start all over and lose that weight ON TOP of what you already wanted as a goal.

Go watch movies like thirteen,mean girls,girl interrupted,aquamarine,uptown girls,monster high movies,etc

Go watch shows like just add magic,h20,mako mermaids,gossip girl,Gilmore girls,life in the dream house

Put down TikTok and get in those 10k maybe even more

Go do April Han thigh gap workout daily it just takes a few minutes!

Go grocery shopping for what diet foods you want like rice cakes,green tea,diet sodas,energy drinks and low cal chocolates and Greek yogurts

Go swimming and have fun with it!

Watch dramas like squid game,sky castle,who are you,etc

Go stream your favorite K-pop group! Go stream Lana del Rey and walk!

Get off TikTok and go call a friend or hang out with them!

Go to the library and borrow a book and read it!!

Get invested into hobbies like drawing etc!!

Come on!!!!!!

Fall in love with Ana and restricting!!