Yknow What I Hate So Much? When I Technically Could Do Something That Requires More Spoons Like Reading

Sometimes it feels like i am already dead. Not part of anyones life anymore. Locked up in my flat. Just a liability for my parents who dont even like me. Like a ghost who is damned to haunt this room, but still has pain and wifi.

If you've ever told a person who's had to be bedbound for a period of time that you wish you could "just stay in bed", DO IT.

Stay in bed. For days. But don't get up if someone needs you to, or you get bored, or you get antsy. Don't do anything other than rest. Just lie in your bed, whether you need to get stuff done around the house or socialize or anything else "productive". You'll have to cancel on people, you'll disappoint them, they won't understand.

And if you're thinking, "well, i CAN'T just be in bed. There's stuff that has to be done - I have plans", maybe ask yourself why you assumed a disabled person doesn't have plans or things to do or desires.

I was outside today! For the first time in weeks except medical appointments. Went for a very short walk. It was great, but i'll probably have to pay for it and also i'm more sad now than i was before. The distance between where im at and where i would like to be is just too big.

what if ablebodied people believed disabled people when they said stuff exhausts/hurts them, even if said ablebodied people didnt understand or couldnt relate. lol

visibly disabled people will present others with the most basic and easy to understand request like “please don’t talk to me like I am a small child” and in response people will just start monologuing about how difficult and confusing this is for them and how they’re doing their best and how they need patience and understanding too and it’s so fucking tiring lol

you know as disabled people it's actually pretty scary that you can't trust your doctors. like people who have medical trauma or distrust or dislike doctors and nurses aren't doing it for fun. we need these guys to help with our lives. we need healthcare to stay alive or to stop from getting worse, or to function at all. but often when you're dismissed and not communicated with you're left floundering and often have to make decisions yourself without that specialist knowledge. sometimes doctors know less than you about your disability anyway. sometimes they're wrong and give you advice that's detrimental to what you need or want, and you kinda have to just trust that the next guy is also not wrong. i think we're pretty lucky if we can find other people with our condition who are well researched in it. but i still think that uncertainty is something that disabled people shouldn't have to navigate

I basically live my life in bed when I’m not actively doing other things. That’s the only way I have the energy to do anything at all ever. When I do one of my hourish rehab classes, I’m usually flat in bed for most of the rest of that day and the entire next day, because delayed-onset fatigue is a thing my life is defined by.

It’s not remotely what people think of when they think of “pacing”, but it’s much closer to the daily reality of most people who live with fatigue disorders than the “I take a break for half an hour then I’m fine to go on” people picture when they hear the phrase.

I have heard the word “pacing” at almost every medical appointment I have ever mentioned fatigue at, and never yet had the slightest advice on doing it. Not even the ongoing CBT and Mindfulness websites recommendations I get if I ever mention low mood etc. The term is applied as a panacea by people who have zero understanding of what “pacing” is, how to achieve it, or what it actually means in the context of most fatigue disorders. Or how much pushback most people with those disorders will have when actually trying to implement it, because most people, including healthcare professionals, parse resting as “not trying”.

For people with fatigue disorders, pacing is *radical* in its effects on capacity. It lets you actually have some life, which is the big thing fatigue disorders feel as if they take from you. But we are stuck figuring it out for ourselves against enormous pushback.

i be checking my phone like someone cares about me lol

Disabled people are not obligated to do everything that a non-disabled person can do. Stop treating us as though our bodies are the same. What you do normally can be detrimental and dangerous to us.