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Bart and the Batkids

Tim: Bart, you have to stop stealing my siblings.

Bart, leaning on Dick, legs over Jason's lap, getting his nails painted by Steph, getting his hair braided by babs, and showing cute animal pics to Damian: I have no idea what you mean.

Bitch, he Flightwing

The Flying Grayson

-Superman: Son of Kal-El [2021] #9

hey sorry!! i just noticed- i read somewhere that bart died five times, but in the main timeline i can only recall two (actually one and a half since he didn't die-die, the time with the scouts)????? when are the other three??

Hi! It’s no problemo, my friend! I actually already posted a list and explanation of each time that I will add here! Hope this helps! He did actually die with the scouts. Tragic thing. He went into shock and everything.

While I definitely agree, there are times as well they have been encased in lightning while being suspended or simply not moving at superspeed, like a precursor to their powers. I don’t think it’s so much as a friction thing versus the Speedforce giving them this sort of barrier like a thin protective shield that can be transferred through touch (and that’s why they can carry people without them getting burned or shredded by the velocity). Since the speedforce is sentient it simply knows when to raise or lower that energy shield.

Now onto transport; while it’s true no HUMAN devices could withstand the full force of the Sun, there are friends on Earth that can get him there AND withstand the sun as well. For one, Kon, Jon, or Clark; kryptonians are sun children! they can fly him there and even give him kryptonian tech/suit for breathing purposes since it seems all their shrap was also built to withstand it. Option two! Apollo, aka Midnighters husband. One call to Tim like “hey can your gay uncles hubby yeet me into the sun? For science.” Tim literally caves to every single one of Bart’s requests (for “unknown” reasons, I mean cmon he just asks and Tim let him fly the batjet)

I rest my case, your honour. Any rebuttals?

So if Speedsters can surround themselves and handle lightning just fine when they throw it and stuff, and lightning is 5 times hotter than the sun, theoretically a speedster should be able to survive on the sun. I’m Bart, and in this Ted talk-

Bart: So have you told Dick about us?

Tim: What? No. That's like posting it on my Facebook page... if I had a Facebook page.

Tim: or had any desire to share intimate life details with people I'd avoid on the street.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #33

Tim and his adventures with the stubborn demi-goddess the chaotic genius and the mom friend

absolute silence in the room

Bart: Tim, have you given Kon his shirt back?

Cass: Probably not.

Tim: Stop patronizing me. hisses

Kon: That was my favourite shirt, bro.

Tim: TOO BAD!

Enveryone: silence

Bart: ...So pizza for dinner?

Cass: Yea, sounds good.

Kon: Mhmm.

///////////////////////////

Cass, walking in: Morning hoes!

Bart: Language!

Tim: Am not!

Kon: Only on weekends!

///////////////////////////

Tim: Ok, who gave bugs the right-

Bart: Insects have been around for aproxamatly 350 million years while homosapians only for 130,000 years.

Kon: He has a point.

Tim: It's a stupid point.

Bart: No wonder Blue Beetle takes over. Cause of people like you, Timmy Drake.

Tim: Wha-?

Kon: Respect your elders, Tim.

///////////////////////////

Tim, texting the group chat: Yo

Tim: am I the only one online..?

Tim: Good.

Tim: Penis

Kon: Wtf

Bart: PROFANITIES

Cass: Nice.

///////////////////////////

Bart, bursting into the room: WHO THE FUCK SIGNED ME UP FOR WEBKINZ EMAIL UPDATES?!

Tim and Cass: snickering to themselves

Kon: I'll give you one guess-

inaccurate Batfam quotes #32

(Idea from a good friend on instagram: Barbara :3)

Wayne Manor but Quarantine

Bruce: Realizes he'll be practically trapped in his house with all his crazy™ kids and he sighs internally, externally, eternally...

Selina: Goes on her "shopping sprees" because since everything is closed security is short-staffed. ;) but she's having a great time with it. She also makes this time to bond with all the kids cause she wants to be the best step-mom UwU

Dick: All his brothers bet on how long he'd last. He lasted a day. (Tim won the bet) He Becomes depressed after a week and has often been seen on the lounge couch in pajamas and a robe eating a tub of ice cream and watching mean girls. Constantly talking about wanting to go see Wally and being shot down. (It doesn't matter tho cause Wally comes to see him anyway)

Babs: Does not mind quarantine. Stays healthy and active. Get's REALLY into TikTok and Instagram. Starts like- 5 new hobbies: Yoga, makeup art, making TikTok memes (and forcing Dick to be in some of them) etc.

Jason: Doesn't care about the warnings. Leaves the house a lot. Goes to public places. Since everything is closed he chills on rooftops or sometimes even parks. Occasionally joined by Roy Harper. helps Alfred with a lot of meals cause we all know he's second best when it comes to cooking in the family.

Steph: Panic buys the entire stock of waffles and other snack items. Is really worried about the warnings at first but everyone comforted her so she'd calm down. (Jason fakes coughs every now and then around her for laughs) Most of the time chilling in her own room or in Tim's just snacking.

Tim: Is not effected by Quarantine. He was already a Hermit to begin with. Now he had an excuse to be inside all the time so he's doing great. Get's really into Animal Crossing on his switch and chills with Steph a lot if he's not staying up playing online with Bart and Kon. Steph already bought him the stock of coffee so he had no worries.

Dami: Takes Quarantine VERY seriously. His brothers tease him for caring but he responds with "I only care about my own health and the general public. We are heroes and need to set examples to protect our city." Or somthing along those lines. (he does actually care tho)

Duke: Tries not to let it get to him. He's maxin' chillaxin'. Spends his time pranking everyone else to get their spirits up. (we do not deserve this lovely boi) Starts a prank war and Nerf gun/water gun fight with everyone. Even Bruce joined.

Alfred: The actual GLUE to everyone not losing their minds. Enjoys teaching Babs cooking as a new hobby she picked up and loves chatting over making food with Jason. Get's to rest a lot more since at least one of the boys or Steph does spontanious chores just to do something and being all and all the best Butler/Grandfather ever. (as per usual)

Harper: HATES quarantine. She goes to the skate park a lot with a skateboard or rollar blades cause her hockey team is cancelled the entire season and she needs the release. Dyes her hair at least 5 times, all different colours.

Cass: Trains a lot. Reads a lot. Stays in the background of everything. Selina focuses on bonding with her mostly and they form a really lovely connection over the time spent together.

Did you know cats have barbed penis’s along their shaft?

The Egyptian Mau is probably the oldest breed of cat. In fact, the breed is so ancient that its name is the Egyptian word for “cat.”

I’d like to think that in Iris’s explanation to a newly not VR sedated Bart that she failed to mention that in the past, cops aren’t villains (only by a hair tho) and so when he goes and meets everyone it’s all fine and dandy for a while.

But something happens that isn’t superhero level where like say, Someone breaks into their house and they don’t know who (idk random crime stuff) and Max says he’s calling the cops. Bart immediately just starts SOBBING these angry tears, blabbering about how “I can’t believe you’d sell me out?? I thought you loved me why would you bring them here?” And it took Max so long to calm him down enough to tell him that the cops weren’t the bad guys and that was the first clue Max ever got into what Bart’s past was like in the future.

OR ALTERNATIVELY Barry (and this is still around the time Bart Idolises him cause they haven’t interacted much at this point, before he figured out Barry distanced himself from Bart personally) makes a casual mention about his job while Bart snuck away to Central to learn more about his freshly resurrected Grandpa. “I work in CCPD, but not as a Cop, just the crime scene analyst.” And he’s suddenly very confused cause Bart is completely pale and wide eyed with fear, shaking slightly as he makes an excuse about finishing his homework and speeding back to Manchester. That’s the first time he’s ever seen Bart afraid and it was directed at him. Needless to say, he never talked about his job around Bart ever again.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #4

Tim, calling out: I'm leaving!

Jason: Where are you going?

Tim: Hell, most likely.

Jason: Oh, pick me up on the way.

Tim: Carpool?