Saw Another Barty Boob Jumpscare On The Beast World Circuit. Mashallah, He’s In His Beauty King Era

Me emerging from my room, complaining, and going back.

No 🤍

Bart: I’m trying to convince Tim that I’m just a figment of his imagination.

Tim, sleep deprived and emotional: STOOOPP!

Bart: What’s wrong, Timber?

Tim, crying on the ground: BECAUSE ITS PROBABLY TRUE!

Bart: Is it because I represent your inner child that was denied a childhood so you focus that energy on creating someone to bring out the carefree and positive disposition in your life?

Tim, aggressively sobbing:

Bart has been banned from every casino in Vegas due to his card counting abilities. It’s not like he even has to try to do it, it just happens. One of those things he off handedly notices when looking at everything around him. He doesn’t go out of his way to look at other peoples cards with his superspeed, he doesn’t actually believe in cheating, but it’s not like he can turn off his observational skills.

That being said, Kon trying to invite his buddy out for a wild night on the town is really difficult to do because he doesn’t know where Bart’s been banned from.

Kon: Pack your bags, we’re going to Vegas!

Bart: Ooo Vegas! …What’s in Vegas?

Kon: What isn’t in Vegas, Imp? There’s great sights, hot girls, delicious foods, fun casinos!

Bart, sighing dramatically: I can’t go into those.

Kon: what do you mean?

Bart: Apparently I’m on a ‘on sight’ list. All gambling districts know my face and kick me out the moment I step on the property.

Kon: … what??

Bart: I know right! I wasn’t even doing it on purpose! It’s not like I was actually in it to steal their money. I was under cover, helping Tim out on recon.

Kon: … right. So then, no Casino’s for you then. Strip club?

Bart: You know I don’t enjoy those. And I’m taken. The last time you took me to one I was mistaken for a dancer and dragged into the changing rooms.

Kon: You look great in fishnet.

Bart: Thank you.

Kon: okay, how about… a bar?

Bart: Neither of us can get drunk.

Kon: Ugh

Bart: What about that techno club? Dancing is easy, and fun.

Kon: Sensitive ears.

Bart: Ah. Nevermind then. I have some contacts in the music industry, I can get us in a concert Hall with backstage passes if there’s any good live shows going on.

Kon: Why do you have contacts in the music industry?

Bart: I was in a two person band in highschool and got scouted by this one dude. Long story.

Kon: The more I learn about your highschool days the more in awe I get.

Bart: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On a previous post I said that Bart is the only one in the core four that can actually flirt and i stand by what i said. But it’s only cause he accidentally flirts by being so blunt all the time and no one can change my mind.

Bart: *holding a piece of pizza but staring at Tim*

Tim: what?

Bart: just debating if i wanna eat this or kiss you rn.

————————

Kon: morning Bart.

Bart, without skipping a beat: you look great today. New hair gel?

————————

Jason: why are you so close-

Bart: nothin’. You just have really pretty eyes.

You cant tell me he wouldn’t.

Jason: My aesthetic is rage. I have twin handguns and wear leather.

Jason, pulling Bart over: This was the sunflower left on my grave.

Bart, waving innocently: :)

*Continues pressing every button* “WHAT ARE THESE ALIEN CONTROLS. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! EQUATIONS... CONSPIRACY!!!!”

panic really does turn you into a complete fucking moron huh

I’d like to think that in Iris’s explanation to a newly not VR sedated Bart that she failed to mention that in the past, cops aren’t villains (only by a hair tho) and so when he goes and meets everyone it’s all fine and dandy for a while.

But something happens that isn’t superhero level where like say, Someone breaks into their house and they don’t know who (idk random crime stuff) and Max says he’s calling the cops. Bart immediately just starts SOBBING these angry tears, blabbering about how “I can’t believe you’d sell me out?? I thought you loved me why would you bring them here?” And it took Max so long to calm him down enough to tell him that the cops weren’t the bad guys and that was the first clue Max ever got into what Bart’s past was like in the future.

OR ALTERNATIVELY Barry (and this is still around the time Bart Idolises him cause they haven’t interacted much at this point, before he figured out Barry distanced himself from Bart personally) makes a casual mention about his job while Bart snuck away to Central to learn more about his freshly resurrected Grandpa. “I work in CCPD, but not as a Cop, just the crime scene analyst.” And he’s suddenly very confused cause Bart is completely pale and wide eyed with fear, shaking slightly as he makes an excuse about finishing his homework and speeding back to Manchester. That’s the first time he’s ever seen Bart afraid and it was directed at him. Needless to say, he never talked about his job around Bart ever again.

Okay but could you imagine

Sherlock going to Hogwarts durring the chamber of secrets???

"John? John, did you hear that? Another petrification! Brilliant!"

"Bloody Idiots. All of them."

"It's obviously Tom Riddle. My own Moriarty. Exellent."

"John! Hurry up! You don't want to miss the outcome. It'll be quite the specticle."

"Is Expelliarmus all Potter knows to cast? Oh wait, was that an Confundus? Well, it appears the dog learned a new trick."

He will sass all the professors, even the great Harry Potter himself.

Ravenclaw, obviously. John a Slytherin, not a hufflpuff for those who think it. He joined in war hoping to make himself useful as a doctor and prove himself, even so still killed people and continues to look for trouble after he retires. Don't be daft, it's obvious.

Im on my Jaybart shrap again 😩

Not me thinking about how everyone would react if Jay and Bart did start getting along, let alone seeing each other.

Tim wouldn’t be very surprised, just sigh very heavily. Kon would frown in disappointment and shake his head a lot. Cassie would be confused but also laughing a bit behind her hand.

I need Y’all to understand

Bart Allen is F E R A L. He's the kinda 'Grey Morals' that is unkempt and unpredictable, and otherwise dangerous.

He's the kind of person that can Lie to Batman's face. And he has. Multiple times. And got away with most of it. Bart will litterally throw hands and that is fact. He has made death threats on a lotta people. That image circulated widely in the meme community of a plush duckling carrying a knife? That's Bart energy. Cute, will be nice, unless you give him reason not to and then his entire persona is just poof, replaced with a wolf. His entire families morals are "We can solve all our problems with friendship" and Bart's morals are "I can spit in the face of death and you can quote me on that". He's better suited for the Batfam than the Flashfam (cept when he's with Max: Max Mercury Supremacy). Hell, he's better suited for the rogues than with Flashfam. He's unafraid to die, will protect what he loves at any cost, and most likely will become unhinged. His friends can only keep a collar on him for so long before he becomes wild and I love that. I love his character cause it's deep, deeper than the developers intended to make him, and he's filled with so much baggage and emotions that he carries like a pro. Sure, Wally's the fastest, Barry's the beloved son of central, but Bart? Bart is one of the strongest heroes, not just for his unwavering will and strength, but his urgency to do the right thing, even if it's the world against him. He loves to laugh, so he does. He doesn't like reflecting on his trauma, so he doesn't. And he comes out okay because he knows time is always moving forewards and things are only in the present. He's a time anomaly, and yet he doesn't mind at all. He doesn't need to belong to a timeline, he belongs with his friends. He knows what needs to be done and he does it.

Bart Allen is the strongest hero and I will protect him.