Has Tumblr Discovered McPentagon Yet. It Will Not Leave My Brain. I Need It To Spread

Very tragic story but like when you put it like this...

Captain 3 is the funniest Splatoon character actually

Be some kid on the street

You're 14

Get pressured into joining the army by an old man??

Start going by Agent 3. Which is not a name

Never speak a word (you're canonically too shy)

You just start blasting??

Save the world and liberate an entire race of people somehow???

The entire rest of the series can only happen because you did this

Almost kill the protagonist of Octo Expansion (she is in love with you now)

Turn 16

Become a DJ as a hobby??

Your DJ name is DJ Sango. Sango is just "number 3" in Japanese. Still not a real name

Start taking yourself really seriously

Start wearing a cape

Get knocked unconscious multiple times

Get mind controlled???

It's fine you got better

Turn 21. The old man quits and puts you in charge of the army???

You inherit his hobo outfit. Why are you actually wearing it

Start going by Captain (still not a name)

Still never speak (a girl speaks for you) (she's a famous singer and older than you, why are you making her do this)

Do one (1) cool thing and just sit on your ass the whole rest of the game

Say booyah once

So Damien core lmao

You and your friends decided to summon a demon. You were excited that it worked, although it was somewhat undercut by your best friend giving the demon an awkward "Hi dad.".

MY PARTNER GETS THEIR SWITCH TODAY!!!!! IM SO CLOSE TO A FULL TEAM NOW!!!!!!

THIS!!! I have friends who are aro, and friends who are ace. I love them so much and I don't understand how y'all could even be excluded in the community. I accept yall, and I know there are many others too!

i love you straight aromantics. i love you straight asexuals. i love you straight aroaces. i love you straight aroallos. i love you straight aspecs. i love you straight aspecs who are questioning if they’re aspec or not. i love you ‘straight passing’ aspecs. you are loved and you are included and i see your pain and your struggles. you will always always always be a part of our community.

Passing anyone on a one lane

merging lanes

Don't make me tap the sign

:)

I just want more storage, not better graphics. More games please 😭😭😭

this is a controversial opinion and I’m not a gamer but I don’t need my graphics to be that good. I don’t need to see every individual feather on a bird. my poor computer doesn’t deserve to carry that weight either.

I don't like getting in to politics but I agree with all this and wanted to share this edit 😋

the edit itself

this edit is getting taken down from tiktok every time someone reuploads it, its straight up censorship at this point

Im not even american but im having a great time with this

DONT LET THIS DIE

credit to miraculousgastropod for the original

Let me roller blade please

I bet you. IT'S EXERCISE AND FUN.

They're coming

The orcs