I Like To Play A Game With People I Know That I Call “point And Kill” Where The Object Of The Game

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Count them, I dare you

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

Firehose?! hows your mom going to get a job now?

me: hey wanna come over and hang

friend: nah I’m busy tonight

my anxious ass:

friend: fuck yeah

i’m convinced that the ice age franchise won’t end until the squirrel that always chases after the nut gets an equally hideous girlfriend with Squirrel Tits™ and eyelashes

this community has weird dark vibes lately

When will you return to the Forest

When all factories are rubble