I Am Empty

It is like there’s always something with me and it makes me feel so ashamed. I don’t cause problems on purpose. I don’t act out this way on purpose. I just want help

My hands got soaked in blood from punching my legs so hard it re-opened my self harm from a couple of hours ago

I just wish that you hurt like I did. I dont know why you don’t

“I’m sorry, my baby, for letting you down on so many occasions”

“I only wished I had more time with you, and that I not wasted so much of the time I did have”

“I hope and pray I see you soon, my baby, like I always do”

Kill me im so fucking done I’m so done i can’t take it anymore

I’m experiencing the feeling I felt when I found out she looked at other people sexually and lied to me about it

It genuinely hurts to live

I don’t know what to do anymore I feel so dull

I wish it didn’t fucking hurt as much as it did. I wish it didn’t take everything in me to not text you and beg for you back. I can’t do it.

I just have to accept you’re gone and that you never really loved me. Why does it still hurt? Why am I still affected like it happened yesterday? I shouldn’t be judging myself for this because it is completely human, such as I, and I experience emotions like everyone else albeit very very intensely. I just feel so alone and I don’t know why.

I have everything I want it feels like. I’m learning how to make music on computer. I have friends. I have a wonderful relationship. I have support. I get constant money and am so lucky financially. I get out more. I have all the clothes I want. I have parents who care. What the fuck is wrong with me and why am I like this? Why do I feel alone right now? Why do I feel the worst I’ve ever fucking felt?

I don’t know what to do im just so fucking lost