Post-Episode 8x10 Buddie Thoughts

HOW AM I EXPECTED TO STUDY WHEN WE MIGHT GET A STEP CLOSER TO GAY EDDIE DIAZ TONIGHT? AND WE MIGHT GET BUCK FACING HIS TRUE FEELINGS FOR EDDIE AND NOT DENYING THEM?? AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW WE GET TO SEE CHRISTOPHER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 10 MONTHS!

I CANT STUDY FOR TESTS WHILE I SHOULD BE STUDYING EVERY SINGLE THING BUCK AND EDDIE SAY!! (That sounds creepy but like it matters)

and actually if you are making people being upset about eddie's absence about like some sort of ship win then fundamentally you are misunderstanding why people are so upset. like, it's INSANE that eddie wasn't there. from just, a general point of view. the fact that a main character of SEVEN YEARS was left out. was not there with his family of SEVEN YEARS when someone deeply important to him died* is crazy and unjustifiable. like, it wasn't egregious because of the buck of it all. it was the fact that eddie should have been there with his family. i literally couldn't give a fuck if tommy was also there. whatever. but including him and not including eddie in a 118 main character death. eddie for whom the 118 is literally his family. who has worked with and loved and supported and been supported by and almost died with these people over and over for the past SEVEN YEARS. that's simply a terrible and absolutely unnecessary choice. and people are justified in being upset by that.

And that was it? That was it.

The interesting thing about the "if you’re asking me to choose between you and my son" line is that Buck isn't doing that at all. Not once has he said, or even implied that he wanted Eddie to choose. This is Eddie projecting, because he is choosing and he hates it! Of course he's going to choose Chris every time, but it's killing him that he has to choose at all!

i am so serious when i say dark and quiet are both human rights.

i don't mean like absolute silence. obviously in an ideal community, there would still be sound and noise from people and music and work etc. but it haunts me that when i camp in the forest i can hear the howl of semi trucks on the interstate miles away. and the people who live beside it never know quiet. it haunts me that many people will live their whole lives never seeing the stars in the sky that were fully visible with NO electric light pollution as recently as my great-grandparents' childhoods.

so much of our lives is bright bright unnecessary noise. neon mcdonalds signs 200 feet in the air so we can see it from the road. led lights over billboards. parking lots lit up like sports stadiums at closed office buildings. advertisements playing at gasoline pumps. streets lined with led porch lights and decorative garden lights that genuinely threaten entire species of wildlife. music blaring outside pharmacies to deter homeless people. everything always shining and wailing for no purpose but profit and cruelty.

obviously not everything can be turned off or made quiet and i wouldn't want it to be anyway and there is a lot of nuance and room for "but what about" here, but MANY things HAVE to change because none of us are supposed to live like this and we shouldn't have to!!!

A List of Events I am Manifesting or Predicting for Tonight's Episode of 9-1-1: 8x10

JLH is going to be giving us one of her best performances to date. Maddie is going to be an absolute badass and finds a way to get herself out.

I am generally not a fan of physical violence, especially depictions of men hitting women, but I think Chimney should be allowed to get (1) hit in on Amber when he realizes she was the one to take Maddie

For the love of all things good, please no miscarriage storyline as a consequence of whatever this woman is going to do to Maddie. I need this to be a happy pregnancy, and they welcome another little girl into the family that they name Joy. Please and thank you

Buck crashes out about potentially losing another person he loves AGAIN

The 118 comforting Buck and Chim and reassuring them that Maddie will be okay and that they'll find her

Chimney struggling with knowing what to do and how to talk to their daughter about mommy being missing

This is one thing I saw mentioned by another creator, and I love the idea: Jee-Yun, being the only other person home at the time, may hold the key to finding Maddie in some way.

Buck and Chimney teaming up with Athena to find Maddie

NO MADDIE NDE PLEASE

Buck is going to help Eddie pack for his move to El Paso

Eddie is going to give Buck his couch. I might spontaneously combust with this one. Honestly, though, if they don't do this, it feels like the couch talk was for nothing. If it happens, I would also like this silent moment after Eddie offers Buck the couch where they both kinda recognize what it means, but neither one is ready to acknowledge it out loud.

I feel like the goodbye scene between Buck and Eddie is going to be shot and cut in such a way that it is a direct parallel to his goodbye scene with Abby.

Buck will go back to Eddie's place– his place– and will probably end up drinking a beer alone and crying on the couch :(

every buddie argument is so good because their conflict is never about not loving each other. they're always both coming from such a place of care and understanding even when they're spiralling. this argument is sooo... god. at its core it's "i know why you have to leave and i would never ask you to stay but i don't want you to go" and it's "i'm trying so hard to be okay with leaving my life behind but you're making it harder for me to leave" AND!! it's "if you need to be mad at me, be mad, it's okay" and within all of that!!! the actual conflict is!!! that they don't want to be APART!!!

Is that the closest we are gonna get to feelings this episode? I am glad it's no longer unsaid!!! But I'm hoping he goes from defensive denial to acceptance real quick 😩

Ok I need everyone to understand that Buck and Eddie are both products of their upbringing. Buck was a child of neglect, which led to him having abandonment issues. While Eddie was a child forced to grow up too fast, which led to him having hyper-independence. Two different kind of traumas. Two different kinds of trauma response. Which would require two different kinds of help.

Buck and Eddie help each other overcome these things and because they are two different kinds of problems, the way they help will ALSO be different. Ever since they met, Eddie has always been there for Buck (don't even fight me on this) and Buck has always given Eddie what he needs. It will look imbalanced, but it's really not. They both need SOMEONE in their lives, just in different ways.

Buck doesn't need someone to take over his lease, or to take care of his son, or to help him figure out childcare, he needs someone to Not Leave Him Alone. Eddie doesn't need someone to tell him he's not expendable, or to be reassured he's trustworthy, or to be promised he's not going to be abandoned, he needs someone to Give Him a Helping Hand. And the moment they became friends they have been those SOMEONES to each other.

They are each other's persons. Equally.

(x)