TW For Idk Depression Or Whatever.
TW for idk depression or whatever.
I hate it. I hate all of it.
I crave connection, I grave love of all kinds, I want peace. I can't seem to have any of it. No matter how hard I try I can't feel romantic love, or even feel a real connection with people. The only time I get something close to that feeling is when I get attached to a piece of media.
I'm so alone but not in the sense that I don't have people in my life but in the sense that I don't have connection. It's like a prison and I can't escape it.
I feel like a monster in chains locked away in a deep dark pit of hell. Maybe I deserved it but I don't know. I just know that my emotions are so volatile that I hate it. I hate me. I hate everything about me, but I don't even know who me is. I hate the way my body is, more than just being trans but also because it's not what I want it to be. I hate my personality because I can't understand it. I hate myself because I don't understand it.
No mather how hard I try I always fall into something deeper then before. I hate it. I'm scared, tired, and fucking angry. So fucking scared and angry.
It's like a wild mutt that bites anything that comes near, threat or not.
I just want to stop. All of it. Just not exist. Not even die just, no existence. I shouldn't have been born, I shouldn't have survived my first attempt at 7, and I shouldn't be here. I should be gone. I shouldn't exist. I'm not built for anything that society sees and being human.
I want to go home. But what is home?
The worst part is I feel guilty for simply existing. Everything I do and feel and think is like a slap onto my mother's face. What's even worse is the fact a part of me still hates her.
It's horrible and I want it to end. I want it all to end. It's driving me crazy. I'm going fucking insane. It's a never ending cycle. It gets better and I think things are going okay and then one thing fucks it all up. Everything slams me down into the floor and I look like a fool. It's like the fucking universe wants me to continuously suffer.
I hate it when people tell me that it'll get better or when religious people try to tell me that I'm gods strongest soldier. I hate it when people tell me I'm strong and brave and all that bullshit. Cut the fucking crap, I know what I am. I'm a fucking shattered mess that's terrified and will cut anything without warning.
I'm mean. I'm scared. I'm tried. I'm bored. I'm empty. I'm nothing. I'm everything.
It's insanity. Just make it stop. Make it all stop. Please. I'm so tired. Let me disappear.
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I think we're mutuals lol
Anyways the word I thought of was Ethereal.
@brontekotlcyan and I can't remember my other mutuals names help omfg 😭
Quick ! Think of a word you like !
Not necessarily your favorite word, it doesn’t even have to be a word you usually like ! Just a word that right now, at this moment, you look at and think “ooh what about this one”.
It can be a word you find funny, pretty, strange, pure, anything really ! You don’t need to tell me why you choose that word (though I’d love to know if you want to tell me), just give me a word !
(It’d be lovely if we made this into a chain but there’s no pressure <3)
oooh um MYTHIC
Yeah.
No pressure: @sleepinginmygrave @thespaceoddities @picklerab23 @hotdamnitsmoony @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @her-midas-touch @daydream-of-a-wallflower @addsalwayssick @a-beautiful-fool @mxed-salad-greens @vintagetee13 @idk-what-to-put-here-123 and anyone else that wants to
I love this idea <3
Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.
If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals
HELP 😭
Stranger Sex—
*Sobs incoherently*
First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die
How you dying 👀
URGENT HELP PLEASE DONATE TO HELP MY FAMILY DURING THIS DIFFICULT MOMENTS.
I am Kelly, My family is in danger. They are trapped in a city in Gaza called Rafah. They fled there because my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and the only chemo treatment she could receive was there. Due to a militia that is increasingly taking over the country and bombing hospitals, all of the disabled, sick and elderly had to flea to Rafah to get medical treatment. Hundreds of thousands of Gaza people fled out of Rafah earlier this week after the militia overtook the Gaza military. My family was unable to flee because my grandmother is elderly and sick.
As of yesterday, my grandmother, disabled aunt, aunt who is sick with Malaria and my two teenage girl cousins were trapped at the top of an apartment building that has been overtaken by militia. They are helpless.
My aunts are sick and they have been injured. My two cousins are just children. Please help my family.
TARGET $1250/$15500
CLICK HERE TO DONATE
I am Kelly, My family is in danger. They are trapped in a city in Gaza called Rafah. They fled there because my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and the only chemo treatment she could receive was there. Due to a militia that is increasingly taking over the country and bombing hospitals, all of the disabled, sick and elderly had to flea to Rafah to get medical treatment. Hundreds of thousands of Gaza people fled out of Rafah earlier this week after the militia overtook the Gaza military. My family was unable to flee because my grandmother is elderly and sick.
As of yesterday, my grandmother, disabled aunt, aunt who is sick with Malaria and my two teenage girl cousins were trapped at the top of an apartment building that has been overtaken by militia. They are helpless.
My aunts are sick and they have been injured. My two cousins are just children. Please help my family in one of two ways.
I'm sorry that happened to you and your family, but I don't know how to help. I'm a teenage kid in America, would reposting links to resources that are looking to help you all do something? If so what links could I use that are actually helping.
s3xu@al assault really makes you feel like you’re only good for sex and sending nudes and that the only way to make things right with someone is letting them use your body huh hahahshhdbxnd
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I apologize for what I am going to say to you, but I have to. I am Ahmed from Gaza, married with two children. We live in the shadow of war and destruction. I lost my brother, my home, and most of my relatives. We have nothing left. I ask you to help, even a little, so that we can survive and protect my children. Any amount, even a small amount, will save our lives.
https://gofund.me/991535b1
I can't do much but I will post this in hopes someone can help my dear. May whatever you believe in be there for you my friend.
I am Dr. Imtithal, living in the besieged northern Gaza Strip. For 11 months, we have lost our lives. We have lost everything. I have lost my brother, my home, our money, our source of livelihood, my profession as a dentist, and all our memories. Our lives have become difficult. We cannot obtain the necessities of life, such as water, food, medicine, and shelter. We live a difficult life in a school as a shelter for us after we lost our home. We cannot obtain a clean life and we suffer from the spread of diseases. Every so often we are displaced. We cannot settle in a place because of the intensity of the bombing. I hope you can help me so that I can protect my family, which consists of 35 people, most of whom are children...
I don't know how to help, not can I because j have my own life issues to tend to but I will repost this so people can help.
WHAT’S UP BOOPTUAL???
OMG HI BABYGIIRRLLLLL
Karma |He/They| Asks: ✅ | Go to TheFanBoyHUB, I post more there. This sorta became a vent account 😭?
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