You Know Those "if This Gets 50k Notes I'll Xyz"? I Don't Believe In Those. Because I Could Say Something

I think the biggest misconception abled people have about disabled people's pain is that it feels like normal pain everyone has felt before, and that you can get used to it and grow a tolerance like normal pain.

ITS NOT LIKE THAT

Here's an example, when I was 12 I got a daith piercing in my ear, It was the worst pain I had ever felt. I felt like someone was trying to crush my skull.

Then I became disabled, And that became the worst pain I ever felt. My joints felt like they were literally on fire almost constantly for over 3 years. It NEVER felt less painful.

Last year I had to get my daith repierced, it felt like a tiny pinch.

The constant chronic pain I feel has increased my tolerance for normal pain, but you cannot increase tolerance for chronic pain. It is always excruciating at worst, very uncomfortable at best, the pain never hurts less. You just learn how to accept it and strengthen your mind enough to think past the pain. YOU CANNOT GET USED TO CHRONIC PAIN. That's why we can't "push through it", or "toughen up". It's not normal pain, your brain is literally confused and forces you to feel pain because it thinks you're extremely injured.

Imagine burning your arm on something reeaaally hot, now imagine the burning sensation you feel is inside your muscles and joints and not on the surface on your skin, now imagine feeling that 24/7 and you can't get rid of it. That's what I'm dealing with man. Do you abled people get it now??

From friends and family, to doctors, and strangers: disabled people have to face judgement, disbelief and hurtful comments. But guess what? There are so many more disabled people in the world than you realise, in fact many of us try to fake being well, because of the stigma and judgement surrounding disability.

Faking disability and illlness is rare. The 1 in 4 disabled people in the world are not rare. So next time you think about questioning someone's disability - don't. That's all.

❤️❤️❤️

if you are a trans boy, especially a teenage trans boy, i wanted to say that as a trans man in their 30's, you have my deepest respects and condolences for what you may be going through right now.

it has become socially acceptable and basically online custom to bully teenage trans boys & mascs, call them cringy, or excuse misgendering them for whatever reason. people put trans boys on this pedestal of "must perform masculinity and manhood to cartoonish degrees" even though they're still children.

people make trans boys fight for their manhood before they can even be boys. i am sorry people can be so judgmental and harsh on you. you are not wrong for wanting to be a boy. you are experiencing something wonderful. it's okay if you still want to be a boy even if people have treated you poorly, or tried to make you feel bad for being a boy. there is nothing wrong with being a boy.

it's okay if you never socially transition. it's okay if you're afraid to come out because it's not safe. it's okay if you never change your outward appearance. it's okay if you try very hard to pass but struggle to. it's okay if you wear "women's" clothing and shoes, bras, makeup, etc., it's okay if you're gay and love other men. it's okay if you're scared of hrt. it's okay if you don't want surgery. it's okay if you mainly occupy girl's spaces still. people will find every reason to pick these things apart and ridicule trans boys for, but they are all perfectly fine experiences that do not make you any less of a boy. you are the one who is in control of your transition, presentation, and state of being- you should be able to prioritize your safety over the comfort of random strangers who have no impact over how you live your life.

i've been put through this too, but later in life as i came out when i was an adult. people still try to make me feel bad for identifying as a trans man, for whatever reason they have in their head to justify hatred of a trans person. i've had enough. there will never be an excuse for how people try to excuse the infantilization and abuse that trans men and trans boys face.

take care of yourselves, no matter what age you are, if you are a trans boy, man, or masc you deserve to know that other trans men care about you, especially when people are scrambling to find ways to punch down on you. there are people who suck, but there are also a lot of people who care about you. keep your chin up. you know who you are

Since this, the pain has gotten worse to the point that I have between 5 and 10 pain free days a month and I finally saw a neurologist for it. And it's not migraines. It's atypical facial pain and I'm finally starting treatment🥳

Can't believe it took me 8 years to realise that the random pain I get in half of my face for a couple of days to a week every other month is a migraine...

I always thought it didn't matter bc it's not every day like my fibro pain

Seeking advice: new wheelchair user

I will be using a wheelchair semi-regularly the next month to see if it will help reduce pain flare-ups / baseline pain and to figure out if it's helpful for me.

Tomorrow is the first day and I am going to uni and therapy. I have only used a wheelchair a couple of times but I'm comfortable with folding it and such as my dad's disabled and it's his wheelchair I'm borrowing. In theory I know how to maneuver around but I'm nervous about it.

Do any wheelchair-users have tips/advice for new wheelchair-users?

Extra info: it's a foldable wheelchair, brand is Quickie. I'm nervous about tipping backwards (no anti-tip), going up and down curbs, taking the metro, painful hands/arms/shoulders.

Your future self is so proud of you!

Lockdown gave abled people the opportunity to experience some of the things disabled people have been experiencing their whole lives. This resulted in a lot of contradictory statements...

Disabled people were often scolded for spending so much time on social media / on our phones, yet when lockdown came, everyone realised the value of technology to keep in touch,

Disabled people were told they were lucky that they could spend so much time in bed, yet when lockdown came, mental health illness cases rose because people had to do just that.

Disabled people were laughed at for suggesting socialisation virtually with friends and family, yet when lockdown came, group calls and virtual family quiz nights held relationships together.

Disabled people were rejected when asking for the flexibility and accomodations to work from home, yet when lockdown came, these accomodations were easily made.

Disabled people asked for virtual doctors appointments and were told it wasn't possible, yet when lockdown came, it was the only option.

Disabled people were crammed into crowded places causing accessibility issues, yet when lockdown came, social distancing improved access.

Disabled people requested more online shopping and deliveries for essentials, yet when lockdown came, this was seen as a necessity.

Disabled people who wore masks before Covid were mocked, yet when lockdown came, wearing a mask was enforced.

Disabled people were met with jealousy when they stated they were unemployed, yet when lockdown came, many realised the true struggle of not having anything to occupy their time.

The hypocrisy of the abled people who would mock, deny and minimise the disabled experience who were then forced to live in a similar way needs attention. I hope that there is more compassion now. I hope that knowing the changes and accomodations disabled needed are possible results in more accomodations being made. I hope that companies choose to continue to support those with disabilities, even if that was never their intention. I hope that something good could come out of this devastation.

Comment below any more Covid contradictions you can think of!

ID: green background with cream text reads "covid contradictions" brown text reads "disabled people often asked for requirements that were rejected, yet during the pandemic, these became essential." Below is an image of a white woman wearing a yellow coat and brown mask.

I know this is for artists and writers, but it's also just really helpful if you're considering beginning to use a cane or researching which one to buy. It gives a really nice overview of the most common types of canes. I have used a cane for a little over 6 months now and I would have loved to see something like this, when I was trying to figure out which cane to buy and how to walk with it. I usually use the cane with my dominant hand and didn't even realise that I can obviously just switch hands so I have my dominant hand free for stuff😂 I ALSO HAD NO IDEA THAT YOU CAN BUY A TIP FOR ICE!?!?!! I'VE BEEN SLIPPING AND FALLING AROUND FOR MONTHS AND DIDN'T EVEN QUESTION IT😭😭

A general cane guide for writers and artists (from a cane user, writer, and artist!)

Disclaimer: Though I have been using a cane for 6 years, I am not a doctor, nor am I by any means an expert. This guide is true to my experience, but there are as many ways to use a cane as there are cane users!

This guide will not include: White canes for blindness, crutches, walkers, or wheelchairs as I have no personal experience with these.

This is meant to be a general guide to get you started and avoid some common mishaps/misconceptions in your writing, but you absolutely should continue to do your own research outside of this guide!

This is NOT a medical resource!!! And never tell a real person you think they're using a cane wrong!

The biggest recurring problem I've seen is using the cane on the wrong side. The cane goes on the opposite side of the pain! If your character has even-sided pain or needs it for balance/weakness, then use the cane in the non-dominant hand to keep the dominant hand free. Some cane users also switch sides to give their arm a rest!

A cane takes about 20% of your weight off the opposite leg. It should fit within your natural gait and become something of an extension of your body. If you need more weight off than 20%, then crutches, a walker, or a wheelchair is needed.

Putting more pressure on the cane, using it on the wrong side, or having it at the wrong height can make it less effective, and can cause long term damage to your body from improper pressure and posture. (Hugh Laurie genuinely hurt his body from years of using a cane wrong on House!)

(some people elect to use a cane wrong for their personal situation despite this, everyone is different!)

(an animated GIF of a cane matching the natural walking gait. It turns red when pressure is placed on it.)

When going up and down stairs, there is an ideal standard: You want to use the handrail and the cane at the same time, or prioritize the handrail if it's only on one side. When going up stairs you lead with your good leg and follow with the cane and hurt leg together. When going down stairs you lead with the cane and the bad leg and follow with the good leg!

Realistically though, many people don't move out of the way for cane users to access the railing, many stairs don't have railings, and many are wet, rusty, or generally not ideal to grip.

In these cases, if you have a friend nearby, holding on to them is a good idea. Or, take it one step at a time carefully if you're alone.

Now we come to a very common mistake I see... Using fashion canes for medical use!

(These are 4 broad shapes, but there is INCREDIBLE variation in cane handles. Research heavily what will be best for your character's specific needs!)

The handle is the contact point for all the weight you're putting on your cane, and that pressure is being put onto your hand, wrist, and shoulder. So the shape is very important for long term use!

Knob handles (and very decorative handles) are not used for medical use for this reason. It adds extra stress to the body and can damage your hand to put constant pressure onto these painful shapes.

The weight of a cane is also incredibly important, as a heavier cane will cause wear on your body much faster. When you're using it all day, it gets heavy fast! If your character struggles with weakness, then they won't want a heavy cane if they can help it!

This is also part of why sword canes aren't usually very viable for medical use (along with them usually being knob handles) is that swords are extra weight!

However, a small knife or perhaps a retractable blade hidden within the base might be viable even for weak characters.

Bases have a lot of variability as well, and the modern standard is generally adjustable bases. Adjustable canes are very handy if your character regularly changes shoe height, for instance (gotta keep the height at your hip!)

Canes help on most terrain with their standard base and structure. But for some terrain, you might want a different base, or to forego the cane entirely! This article covers it pretty well.

Many cane users decorate their canes! Stickers are incredibly common, and painting canes is relatively common as well! You'll also see people replacing the standard wrist strap with a personalized one, or even adding a small charm to the ring the strap connects to. (nothing too large, or it gets annoying as the cane is swinging around everywhere)

(my canes, for reference)

If your character uses a cane full time, then they might also have multiple canes that look different aesthetically to match their outfits!

When it comes to practical things outside of the cane, you reasonably only have one hand available while it's being used. Many people will hook their cane onto their arm or let it dangle on the strap (if they have one) while using their cane arm, but it's often significantly less convenient than 2 hands. But, if you need 2 hands, then it's either setting the cane down or letting it hang!

For this reason, optimizing one handed use is ideal! Keeping bags/items on the side of your free hand helps keep your items accessible.

When sitting, the cane either leans against a wall or table, goes under the chair, or hooks onto the back of the chair. (It often falls when hanging off of a chair, in my experience)

When getting up, the user will either use their cane to help them balance/support as they stand, or get up and then grab their cane. This depends on what it's being used for (balance vs pain when walking, for instance!)

That's everything I can think of for now. Thank you for reading my long-but-absolutely-not-comprehensive list of things to keep in mind when writing or drawing a cane user!

Happy disability pride month! Go forth and make more characters use canes!!!

You’re allowed to struggle and complain even if you aren’t the “worst” you could be.

You don’t need to be positive and grateful all the time. It’s okay to have feelings about your disabilities. It’s okay to vent about them.

Just because it could be worse doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it to be better.