Not So Much A Writing Prompt But An Idea I'd Like To See In A Story: Completely Unrelated Alien Species

Jobs give you money in exchange for your sleep schedule

Ooze came early. It brought chips as an apology

That man outside with the jar of honey just wants to be your friend, Don't worry

I've rarely seen a more validating sentence in my entire life.

hmmm

We are a very very dumb, stupid people

5 days until the ooze arrives

Eh, fuck it, gimme that bagel news

hey cis people! now more than ever gender-nonconforming behavior is an act of resistance! and it's one anyone can engage in!

Task: flashes orange on my taskbar

Me: Oh, so it's ready to use?

Task: You buffoon! You absolute fool! It won’t be ready for another minute!