Shine On

We love each other

neither one of us wants to admit it, but

in the weirdest way possible

we love each other

~ honestlywhatfor ~

Fragile Pieces

Trust is a fragile piece of paper

And you seem to have a hole puncher in your back pocket at all times

A lighter at hand as well

Punching, ripping, burning my once whole paper

Leaving me with a sad little snippet

A little crumpled up, even after a lot of smoothing

There’s this pathetic peace of paper I’m holding onto

It’s not much

And it won’t last forever

But I won’t give up

Because I can still read the words

Scrawled in your handwriting

“I love you”

Trust is a fragile piece of paper

And as long as it’s marked by you

My pitiful peace of paper

Will stay with me

At all times

“Your mental health should be a priority”

It’s about you

I miss you since the last time we spoke. I wish I could bury my head into your hoodie and get one of these hugs I’ve been missing so dearly. I wish I could see your smile, knowing that I’m the person who made you laugh...

There’s so much that I’m wishing for in the moment, but I just want you to know that every single wish that appears in my head is

only

about

you

And we figured that it would never work, at least not the way we wanted it to. We knew that whatever our love could bring us there would be something that would break both of our hearts at once. But we were never certain what it’ll be.

Time, it was the time that destroyed our little bubble we built and happily lived in.

Now we know.

She fucked up

There’s this girl. She just thought of your smile and the way your hand runs through your hair that has gotten way too long again.

And she cuddles up in bed and wishes you would be next to her, snoring, but unintentionally pullin her closer to your chest.

There’s this girl. She remembers every minute you two have spent together and she gets sad whenever you are gone for too long.

And she sits next to her friends who are making fun of her for falling for a guy that isn’t even her type.

There’s this girl. She thinks a lot about her Ex lately, but only because she’s afraid that you might turn out to be the same as him.

And she tells herself that she isn’t in love.

And she keeps repeating that she does not want to be in a relationship with you.

And she is writing about you, hoping it’ll clear her mind.

And she hates remembering every time your friends talk about the girls you’ve had, even since you two have been spending so much time together.

And she keeps telling herself that you two are not in a relationship.

And she acts like she doesn’t care.

And she is trying to look at other guys as well, but somehow it does not work for her the way it seems to do for you.

And she keeps a smile on her face.

And she keeps laughing.

And she keeps coming back to you.

Tere’s this girl. She’s sad, she’s hurting, she’s breaking. But out of habit, she keeps the canvas up.

Don’t keep hurting her. Don’t give her forehead kisses when you’re doing the same to any other girl you’ll meet on the weekends.

Don’t tell her how much she means to you when you’ll go out partying knowing she’ll be home alone waiting for your call that you’ve made it home safe.

Don’t keep hurting her. She does not deserve that. She deserves better. And if you know that there are guys out there that could make her happier than you because they’d make an effort and try, let her go.

Don’t keep that girl for yourself if you’re not planning to think about her smile whenever you need comfort.

There’s this girl. She’s typing this. She’s crying.

She fucked up.

“Every time I look at you, I fall in love all over again”

Reorganization

Panic attacks at night

Swollen eyes, crusty lips

Fear of existence

Coating my red face in tears

Shivers shaking my body

I’m a loser

“Come here”

Sudden relaxation

My hand clinging to the pocket on the front of your hoodie

“It’s okay, don’t worry”

Forehead kisses

Careful strokes over my back

Calming my breath

“I’m sorry”

“For what?”

“Dragging you into this mess”

“I don’t mind your mess, I’m here to reorganize”

One minute in your arms can make me forget all my doubts.

A power I never wanted you to have.

~ honestlywhatfor ~

Last Thursday

„I‘m lonely, you know.“ I slowly sank back into the grass and looked up into the sky, filled with stars shining down at us. - „I don’t see the problem, honey. Just go up to him and tell him how you feel. To be honest I‘ve experienced that I’ve never really noticed someone in that way until they came up to me and I realized that they’d be a perfect match.” - “But you’re different, people wanna be noticed by you.” - “Honey, you’re worth so much more than you think. I swear this guy over there is the luckiest man alive, and the only problem is-“ - “The only problem is that he doesn’t know yet.”