Sometimes Trying To Remind Yourself That A New Love-interest Won't Help Is Like Trying To Convince A

Today is hard and horrible; my wounds gaping and sore. Every moment brings another knife of memory from before.

Anger pulses through me followed by crippling sadness. I feel nothing but my own craving for madness.

I'd give anything, everything, just to go back; just to wake up hung over after New Years again.

I would do so much different, and so much the same, but in the end my only goal would be to save you.

You: passionate, loyal, brave and kind. Cursed and playful with a magnificent mind.

It's almost been two months and I still cannot see how there is any possibility that you gave up on me.

isn't it insane though how schizophrenic people are viewed as violent and dangerous by the majority of society when in reality schizophrenic people are nearly 14 times more likely to be on the receiving end of violence than to be the perpetrators...

Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.

They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Life™, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.

So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.

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Amazing. Nothing unusual there.

This was us...

Yesterday was hard, today is much the same. My sobriety is one of the few things I have left that are purely good and I am happy to say that just for today I feel happy being and staying sober. I just keep reminding myself that things will get better.

And if they don't, we'll at least I can look forward to the end.

Thinking about a future without you used to fill me with feelings of dissatisfaction.

Now, with no other options, it fills me with grief. A dread so deep, you almost don't want to.

I really don't want to...

Envisioning a future, a happy future, without you is more difficult for me than imagining I am a dragon or a shrimp. It feels empty and fake; a blank page covered in brand-name stamps.

isn't it insane though how schizophrenic people are viewed as violent and dangerous by the majority of society when in reality schizophrenic people are nearly 14 times more likely to be on the receiving end of violence than to be the perpetrators...

So can we talk about the absolutely stunning duplicity going on here?