Nero: I'd Give My Right Arm To Find Out Who My Parents Really Are

Sigma: How many weapons do you even have on you?

Nikolai: Let’s see…

*Uses his overcoat and a pile of weapons fall out*

Nikolai: I think I’m running low.

Sigma: IS THAT A NUKE?!

Dazai: To the new year! I’m going to finally die this year!

Chuuya: Stop making promises you don’t intend to keep! You’re getting my hopes up!

Dante: *watching the news* Vergil was at the park today.

Nero: why do you say that?

Dante: the playground is on fire

Nero: what makes you think he was there?

Dante: I haven’t seen Verge all day and when bad things happen it’s usually him.

*Vergil walks in*

Nero: Hey, where were you?

Vergil: *walks by them* the park

Nero:

Dante: TOLD YA

Diana: I need an adult

A Man of No Consequence

Sigma: Fyodor what are you and Nikolai doing when I’m working?!

Fyodor: What is it now Sigma?

Sigma: Nikolai just jumped me and I tried to get him off.

Fyodor: Nikolai was happy to see you. Why is it my fault?

Sigma: I pulled his braid on accident and he moaned… your name.

Fyodor: Have you gotten the talk yet?

Prompto: I made a blog!

Noctis: what's it called?

Prompto: chocobros

Noctis: okay? And what is it about?

Prompto: *closes the tab filled with photos of Noctis and the others half naked* Our adventures?

Prompto: Does anyone else get that little voice in their head saying to kill everyone before they have a chance to kill you?

Chuuya: I just want to be held and loved.

Akutagawa: Didn’t you just punch Dazai after he hugged you?

Chuuya: I said I wanted to be loved, not assaulted.

Chuuya: *talking to Dazai on the phone* Stop fucking with Fyodor, he may end up catching you.

Dazai: It’s fine. Besides it’s fun fucking with the rat.

Mori: *walks up to Chuuya* Chuuya there you are. You said you had something to tell me?

Chuuya: I hope you like anal asshole because that’s what’s about to happen to you!

Mori: *panicked* Chuuya!?

(If you want to know this was a story from an old friend. Makes me laugh to this day)

~Kira~