So Many Great Points, Thank You! I Do Realize This Is My Weakest Post In The Series So Far, That’s

It’s hard to imagine, right, Murphy? x)

Knowledge is power. Sometimes literally.

Astarion: Still, if nothing else, maybe I can beat Cazador to death with it (The Necromancy of Thay).

I laughed so much at this but it also reminded me of my own experience while solving the Balduran trials, in Wyrm’s Crossing dungeons.

Still, to this day, I have no idea whether I did everything right or it was not how you are supposed to solve this (please, don’t tell me!)

But Roanael, my Tav, was already so frustrated after the previous trials that in the Camber of Insight she just… threw the books at the shadows of their authors.

…And it worked.

Roanael: *throwing the book*

Astarion: I did say beating someone with a book might be an option… I just never thought you’d take it quite so literally.

Shadowheart: 🤦‍♀️

Lae’zel: *enjoying the show*

Gale: *would disapprove if he were there but fortunately he wasn’t*

Getting Closer

(2/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

In my first playthrough, I was worried that if we slept too often, we would all turn into mind flayers, so I went through the Saving the Grove quest almost without resting in camp. Unfortunately, that meant I missed some of the early interactions with companions, including Astarion. That’s also why, when my Tav spent the celebration night with him, she still had no idea he was a vampire.

Honestly… I actually prefer that. It makes the story flow more naturally, in a way. But as with most things in BG3, it works either way.

Why I loved it, though, because it made so much sense for Astarion to want Tav to start getting attached before revealing what he truly is - a vampire spawn. It also meant that the morning conversation was the one where he told more about himself and his past and the conversation felt less rushed and more genuine. But maybe it is my nostalgia speaking.

First Steps

One of the first proper camp dialogues with Astarion happens when he admits Tav is more impressive than he initially thought and says he'd like to keep seeing them as an ally (the Stars cutscene). As always, he's surprisingly honest - so much so that I doubt it can be considered a manipulation.

But this is also where he begins putting his famous "simple plan" into motion: seducing Tav to ensure his own safety. As we established earlier (see Part 1), his main goal is security. So now that he's confident Tav is strong and useful, he starts using the tools he knows best - suggestive charm and witty jokes.

This eventually leads to him inviting Tav to spend time together during the celebration night at camp (or even earlier, depending on approval). That's where the romance seems to begin… or so we think.

Flirting or Strategy?

Even if Tav is already smitten, from Astarion’s side this is manipulation - at least on the surface. You can clearly see and hear how different his behavior is during these moments: too smooth, too controlled. Not like the moments when he's genuine and real - when rough, unkempt words come spilling out of him freely, with wide gestures or a calm, serious demeanor.

Still, even though he later admits that he was trying to make Tav an ally so they wouldn't turn on him, I do believe that even then, he'd already started to care a little, especially depending on the following nuance.

If this conversation happens at the celebration party, approval doesn't actually need to be very high. His motivation there is more about survival after he confirmed once again that it would be better to have Tav on his side. But if you do raise his approval high enough in Act 1, you might get that flirty conversation even earlier - and it runs differently, too. He admits he’s starting to like "the whole package," and says he wants to reward Tav for sharing their blood with him. Not just complaining about boredom and bad wine anymore, huh?

So maybe his motivations start to shift, even just slightly. He might genuinely want to keep Tav near in the only way he knows: giving them what he thinks they want. It can still be part of his strategy, but there's something more complicated beginning to form underneath.

Looking Back

There’s one thing I now feel a little uneasy about. When Astarion first flirts and invites Tav to spend time with him during the party, I chose the dialogue where my Tav teases him a little - she makes him say "please" before agreeing. And when he does, she calls him a "good boy." He actually approves of that line and seems a bit (pleasantly?) surprised that Tav can be so sassy. It felt playful and bold at the time, and I remember how I was like: “Oh! He likes that??”

But after learning about his past… it feels different. Because this was how he survived. His body, his charm - these were tools he had to use. And now it's not just that Tav flirted - it's that she made him beg for it, in a sense, while Astarion was trying to keep himself safe. This thought feels pretty awful.

Still, I try to comfort myself with a few points:

We had no idea at the time!

He did approve of it!

Maybe it showed that Tav wasn't desperate for his body - it was more about their interaction. It felt like she was genuinely enjoying the banter, not just trying to sleep with him.

So… maybe it’s not that bad (^^;)

What Got Me Hooked

To be honest, back then I was still skeptical about Astarion as a love interest. I knew he was a popular character, and I thought he was a bit overrated - mainly because all the media glimpses I'd seen of him were about his very sexualized image. But something about him piqued my curiosity.

By the time he started flirting with Tav, I was already like: "Nooo, stawp~ …nevermind, keep going." Kind of not admitting I was interested even to myself - but still feeling giddy when believing he was "interested" in my Tav. (Which… wasn’t quite true, as we know now.)

But then came the moment after their first night together - my Tav noticed his scars. I expected him to deflect or change the subject, but instead he told her. Honestly and openly. That he was a slave. That his old master left those marks.

That was the moment I felt something shift, noticed his depth. And from there, I really wanted to get to know him better.

(*cough* And that's how my obsession started *cough*)

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Facing Vampire Spawns

(7/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

(This part is less about analysis and more about how I personally approached this moment in my game, and the reasoning behind the choices I made. It isn't the only way, of course, but it felt right for Astarion and my Tav and the dynamic between them.)

There’s a moment when Cazador’s other vampire spawn appear, trying to capture Astarion and drag him back so their master can perform the Rite. They believe they’ll get to ascend too - but we know Cazador was lying.

At this stage in the story, Astarion still wants to perform the ritual himself - he doesn’t even want to hear anything against it. So when the spawns appear, he starts lying to them - saying that if they help him, they’ll get their revenge and live on, fully knowing the Rite would require their deaths.

There are two dialogue options Tav can choose in this moment:

(Persuasion) “Have you no heart, Astarion? You’re asking them to die for you.”

(Deception) “He’s free of Cazador’s command. You should follow him. He’ll save you.”

In theory, the first seems like the “right” option for a morally good Tav. But I didn’t like it - not here, not like this. It sounded too much like calling Astarion out in front of everyone, even after promising to support him. And sure enough, choosing that line raises approval with other companions… but lowers it with Astarion. He replies bitterly: “Don't look at me like that, I can't be who you want to see in me.”

We know he can, but he just doesn’t know that yet! And he is not ready either. Which is actually fair, because even though he's so sweet deep inside, he never hid from Tav how his own well-being was always a priority for him, from the beginning of their travel, and that he wanted to perform a ritual for himself.

(Isn’t it amazing how much he trusts them, never hiding his intentions and plans from Tav - when we clearly see that even the rest of their party disapprove?)

It's not even the first time Tav heard about his intentions, so bringing it up now feels less like a heartfelt plea and more like a tactical move to stop him - a betrayal, in his eyes, especially coming from someone he trusted. Which could be valid for a lawful good Tav, but it would also mean sacrificing the trust and understanding between them (not in the game, of course, you will just get a disapproval, but realistically it wouldn't pass without consequences).

I felt like discussing it and sharing your opinion was fairer to Astarion, that's why I went with the second option. Almost every other companion disapproved, but for me, that was the moment Tav showed they truly accepted Astarion as he was - in that moment. Not the person they hoped he would become. Just as he is.

So for me, it wasn't about deceiving the spawns, but about showing that Tav truly is on his side, without pushing him into something he wasn’t ready for yet. They don't try to fix or change Astarion - they are just there, grounding and patient, gently nudging him towards the light and believing in him. Respecting his autonomy and reminding him that there is more to him than survival instincts and revenge. Because Astarion can be a person who chooses kindness, but he needs to come to this realization himself.

Later, after the fight is over, you can have a private conversation. This is the time when he can feel safe and listen without being defensive. And Tav can softly raise that question: "Are you ready to sacrifice them?"

And now, indeed, Astarion is open to discuss it. He shrugs his shoulders, brushing it off - they are just vampire slaves. We talked about this in my previous post. He can’t put himself on the same level with them, it is too much: he is afraid to feel helpless again and he has to dehumanize them to be able to proceed with the rite.

When Tav asks if he doesn’t sympathize with those who share his plight, Astarion says that no one ever looked out for him. "You're the only one. Other people don't have a heart like you. You are you. No one is like that."

At first, for me, it sounded unrelated to the question. But it all kind of falls into place now. He is defensive here - probably because he understands how wrong it would be to sacrifice them. But he can't let himself think about it. He chooses to ignore the voice of sense, the voice of Tav advising him against the rite. He shuts himself down because he needs to do it - it promises everything he craved. Safety, freedom, perfect revenge. So he throws at Tav excuses, an attempt to justify and explain why:

This is the world he lives in. This is how things work. How he spent two centuries. What Cazador inflicted on him - be strong or be nothing. The one in power has the right to decide.

And Tav is an exception. A miracle, maybe. Something that wasn't supposed to happen but somehow did. But it doesn't change the rules.

When Tav says that the world can be kinder or that there will be others who care about him - approval rises even though he does not believe in it yet. But maybe he wants to.

It is a great detail how Astarion keeps saying this is also for Tav’s sake - while he is still desperately trying to grab at something that can guarantee his freedom. This might be just another excuse he is making to justify his ways, but for me, it does show the shift in him: Astarion is moving from a priority on self-preservation towards opening up to protecting someone else he cares about.

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I don’t think I’ve ever drawn a bat before 🤔 but here is a quick Batstarion doodle 🦇✨

To my defense, I really tried to reduce the amount of screenshots, but I absolutely need you to see all of these! The point will follow.

Just look at this soft boy! I can't! (๑>◡<๑)💕

Ahem. Now to the point… 👉🏻👈🏻

I keep thinking about these early camp scenes with Astarion – and I still can’t get over how much warmth he already shows from the very beginning.

I don’t know how anyone can call this man weak when he’s endured such horrors and came out deeply scarred, but never broken. For two centuries, Cazador did everything in his power to crush him – and failed.

And then, on the very first night, just after he escaped (with the help of the Nautilouid, of course), Astarion is already reaching out – so sweet and sincere, sharing his thoughts, offering to take the watch, wishing you sweet dreams. It’s not a performance. He’s genuinely excited. Giddy, almost!

The contrast with Gale struck me recently. During his first night in camp, he’s already carrying so much – he’s been prepared to die soon, and now he’s stuck with yet another dangerous condition. It’s overwhelming.

To be honest, during my second playthrough when I romanced Gale, I missed that early scene. I remembered him as cheerful and chatty in Act 1, so seeing that moment afterward gave me a deeper understanding of how low he actually felt in the beginning. It’s the connection with others, with Tav, that pulls him back to the light.

But Astarion? He’s glowing that night. He’s finally free, and that feeling is so vast not even any fear about the tadpole can spoil it. He’ll worry about that tomorrow. But right now, he’s just... here. And free.

There’s no seduction yet. No manipulation. Just a raw and honest joy, and a warmth that’s easy to miss but unforgettable once you’ve seen it.

Astarion’s resilience is something incredible.

He hasn’t given up – not on himself, not on the world.

He has the strongest love of life. He wants to live, no matter what.

And no matter what life throws at him, he doesn’t let it break him – he immediately stands into the position, ready to strike, to fight till the last beat – with this fierce determination to insist on being there.

And even after everything, he still chooses to connect. He still cares. If you meet him with patience and sincerity, he readily lets you in – and that trust feels like the most meaningful gift.

His light was dimmed – but it never stopped shining.

Not in Cazador’s dungeon, not ever.

On a search for most romantic places in the city because I have already finished this campaign and the only saves I have are either here on in the Astral Prism

I was just thinking how interesting it is that, as someone who’s very likely demi, I didn’t find Astarion attractive at all at first.

But once I started getting to know him, I thought - well, he’s actually kind of cute.

And now I look at him and wonder: where were my eyes before? It’s as if the gods made him just to ruin me.

He’d be so confused.

Best quidditch team (๑>◡<๑) 💕

Gosh I hate this route… (T__T)

Ok, I don’t hate it but I just can’t.

Somebody help me…

This is a pure torture.

I can’t hear about this bloody wedding anymore.

Let’s just marry all four of them together and I’ll leave for a rehabilitation course for my heart… ❤️‍🩹