She Feed Me That Glucose Analog Till My Lacoperons Express Their Proteins

overheard in a fancy italian restaurant:

> eating lobster and jerking off are two different things

*wiping the compression artifacts off my face* mmmm another long day in the jpeg mines

> why

🤔

I wonder why the average human K/D is

i think the old-fashioned top-loading washers and dryers make love but these new electronic ones only fuck.

the herds of machines in laundromats are merely cattle and can’t comprehend the warmth of a lovers arms.

laundromat vending machines like holding hands.

*taking a bite of the fruits of my labor* mmmm delicious. excellent. that really turned out well.

Top three scariest halllween costumes:

3. Landlord

2. Sexy Landlord

1. Unsexy Landlord

she query on my sequel til i — no that can’t be right. there’s something here tho…

saving these for later

and summore

*standing amidst the sublime beauty of nature, experiencing real joy for the first time in years*

chat? chat is this real? chat is this —

“my flaccid penis looks like luigi’s vacuum”