Whether It Be Subconscious Or An Urge I Know The Orgin, I Reach For You.

How sexy you are when you wear your stockings....

My moon

My moon shines for me.

I look from below, darkness clawing at my body.

I feel the icy fingers of self doubt.

I feel the heat of the blade of my own hatred taking ever opportunity to bury itself into my brain.

Before you I was on a path so empty.

Without you I'm lost, a broken compass, taking on water in the storms I chose to sail.

You believe in me.

I take your hand.

I'll wound you. I'll hurt you. I'll make you have moments of doubt, and unneeded pain.

I can pretend it's obsessive behavior, my need for validation, my weak value in myself.

Ultimately I can't follow that wire the one that ends at my mouth, the puppet of my mind, I look deep to find the source to see where the wire originates... If I had my way, I'd rip that fucker so hard out of my body and pray I was the man I wish I was with you.

I can't.

All I can promise is every mile down our path, every word spoken between us, every moment you give me your time, that I'll spend it showing you my love, my respect, I'll cut you when you need it, I'll care for you after, I'll strive to put you first and try to get you to feel it every day I am allowed.

All I can promise is I'll try to wear out that connection, to pull and wiggle, to break the internal connection, to render that wire useless, or all least render it unable to control it, with the force it has.

I value the moonlight that shines on me.

Sometimes you can't have what you want... When you need it.

If one could, maybe you'd appreciate it less.

Thoughts like that doesn't make the ache hurt any less.....

It's a beautiful feeling, when in all honesty and pleased emotion, to tell her she's a good girl, when she's deserving.

Moon...

You are my thoughts, no matter what time of day.....

Don't be stubborn, don't be stupid.

If your moon, shines for you..... Use it!

Absorb it.

Soak it in.

Close your eyes, fall to your knees, spread your arms wide, if you feel led.

But do not turn your back from it, especially when it's what you desperately need and desire.

Ache....

Hard to describe the ache I carry for you.

I remember when it started, it was when I heard your voice for the first time, saw your eyes, felt your energy, that it began to bloom.

Felt like a slight burn from touching a hot pot from the stove.... It registered differently in me, pushed away things I felt and was definitely new.

Now..... It's something different.

It's an obsession, a craving powerful in scope.

You invade my thoughts, my body reacts like I need a nicotine fix, I physically quiver at the thought of you.

I know every curve, every speck of color in your eyes, your voice fills my head long after you speak, it's the only music I want to play.

I yearn for your touch, for your caress, I want to feel your fingers trailing my skin, your nails tearing into my flesh, I crave you invading my space, playing with my beard.

I need to touch.... I need to rip the clothes from your body and I need to tear you open.

I want to bruise you, hear your screams, I want to use every bit of you up, breathe in your air as I'm making your heart pound faster and harder.

I want to devour your body, pull you apart, get lost in your soul, feel your heart beating against mine as I dig into your darkness and the part of you that's only for me.

My ache decreases with every intimate stroke, filling you deep inside, every whisper, every sound.... Mine... Feeding I take.... I build... I consume you until the air is nothing but ash.....

Even as I slump into exhaustion, my lips full of your taste, my tongue savoring the salt of your skin.... As I feel myself running out of you and down your thigh.....

My ache begins to build again.